The Difference Between Us
by fairytail dreamer
Summary: E&B - ALL HUMAN - MATURE CONTENT - The story of Beauty and the Beast, minus the magic and bullsh.. - Edwards been watching someone and fate has caused her to land in his hands. Can she seperate the boy from the beast? oh sweet narcissium. Slightly OOC
1. Chapter 1

_**A/n: A new story! And I huge shout out to Cullen Cousin for being my beat to this story. I can't thank her enough for saving my sorry scribbles.**_

_**UD's for my other stories will be happening - I jsut had some issues. I was scammed online!**_

**

* * *

**

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 1**

_**BPOV**_

Making my way thought a late, dark and damp Seattle, I moved quick as I fought to keep my Nike backpack on my shoulder. The heavy weight of its contents slowing me down as I went.

My pacing against the ground was the only thing I could hear as I scurried through the streets, heading home after finishing work, late. Just before I had finished, there had been a small disaster of copious amounts of coffee beans being spilled all over the floor. It was ridiculous but so like me. I had rushed to get out a little early and in my doing so, had made myself even later out the door than normal after having to sweep deep under every counter, collecting them back up.

_It was then I heard some one behind me._

Their footsteps was almost in synch with mine, with it, a nervous feeling hit the pit my stomach, at my empty environment. I began to walk faster, intent to get to a busier street, somewhere safe that had more light and hopefully some people.

I gripped on to the pepper spray in my pocket, ready in case they tried to grab hold or mug me.

Their footsteps picked up too and I began to feel unsettled at them possibly confronting me in the quiet, empty street. Could I spray them if they came up from behind me? I didn't feel too sure of that one.

A voice behind me called, it was friendly...knowing...male. "Isabella..?" I faltered in my stride at the calling of my name into the night air. But I still continued, worried of who he was.

I had walked this route so many times in the daylight but I had almost never attempted it at night. It was dangerous.

"Isabella." Much the same tone called to me once again and I slowed, as I looked over my shoulder to the person who appeared to know me.

He was tall and held a strong build. His eyes sparkled in the street light as it highlighted his long blond hair. He was dressed similar to me. Jeans and a zip through hooded top. His hood was down though, showing his face to me.

"Yeah, it is you. Isabella Swan..." He seemed sure that he knew me. "Right..?" He looked at me as if he had got the wrong person. He was waiting for me to clarify to him who I was.

I stopped completely and turned to face him, still a little suspicious. "Do I know you?" I asked honestly with a raised eyebrow. I couldn't think of who he was. The hood of my jacket slipped down and I fought with it to right it once again, to protect me from the weather.

The night was wet but it was still mild with summer time ending.

It was the end of August and despite the cooler, wet night, it had actually been pretty nice weather for the past couple of weeks but the rain had passed thought, soaking the city. Which wasn't too unusual being the wettest city in the continental US.

"Sorry..." He apologised. "I know Charlie. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm James." He smiled at me and I felt myself relax a little more.

"Ah, right." I shook off my stupidity and my suspicion. "Have we met?" I asked confused.

"In passing, a while back." He shrugged. I still couldn't think of who he was though and how he knew my dad. "Do you need a lift?" He asked politely as he gestured to the drizzle. "My car is only around the corner. I'm just heading home." He put his hands deep in his pocket, relaxing his shoulders and relaxing me a little with his easy nature.

"It's fine. I'm not to far from home." I rejected his offer knowing that I still actually had some distance to walk after missing my bus but I didn't want to get into a car with someone I didn't really know.

He laughed. "Really, it's no trouble. I know where you live. Up Clearwood drive, its pretty far to walk in a night like tonight." He knew my address. He must have known Charlie relatively well.

Before I could speak, he had put a hand up in his defence. "I'm sorry. This is really...shady. I come up to you up some dark street trying to get you into my car...I understand. I just know the chief would have me if her knew I passed you in the street and never offered you a ride back." He smiled a small smile at me and took a step back.

"Do you play poker with my dad?" He knew where I lived, surly he had been to my house but I still tested him to see just how well her knew Charlie or if he was just simply trying his luck.

Charlie never played poker – he was terrible at card games and refused to play me.

If he had said yes, I was backing away from him sharply.

"Your old man plays cards? I never knew that." He laughed a little as if he knew I was testing him. "Na, I know him from some fishing trips. I know the Blacks, too." He shrugged.

I let out the air I never realized I was holding; as it clicked that he must have been a friend of Jakes.

My smile widened at my own stupidity and delusion that the streets of Seattle weren't safe. Growing up with Charlie, he had always put suspicion in my mind that everyone was a danger to me. It was all I heard and now I was beginning to grow as irrational as Charlie.

"I saw your picture from graduation." His smile mirrored mine as I turned red. "You looked beautiful. Your dad was so proud. He couldn't help but tell everyone."

I cringed at Charlie going around with pictures of me, he always seemed to be doing it. I never quite understood it. Surely, everyone was bored of me by now.

I had graduated a couple of months ago from college; and at the ceremony, Charlie had been constant in snapping away on his camera.

Charlie has never really understood technology. He could hardly turn on the flat screen. But that camera...

"He showed you that?" I asked completely embarrassed and a couple of octaves higher than I had intended.

He only laughed at my tone. "Yeah." He grinned at me and I felt my face burn even more. Why did I have to have Charlie as a father? I was sure he was only created to humiliate me.

A moment passed between us before he spoke once again. "I'm sorry to push you, but I need to be getting to bed, I have work early in the morning...But that ride still stands..." He walked a step in my direction and I felt like it was okay. That he knew my dad well enough for me to be safe. And honestly, I was liking the smile that played on his lips.

"Thanks, I'll take you up on that offer after all." I nodded with certainty. "I like to walk but this rain is doing nothing for me." I placed my hand out in the air, letting the misty drizzle dampen my palm.

He laughed as he jutted his head in the direction of another little street. "Me either. I think I need to move to a sunnier climate." he agreed.

I followed him instantly and I relaxed as I saw the lights to his car flash before he rounded to the drivers side of the car.

I looked down in astonishment. It was a black four door Bentley GT. I knew little about cars, other than what Jake had taught me, but this was something. I knew this car and I knew its price tag was anything but small.

"This is your car?" I asked amazed. "Where do you work?" I asked automatically and a little rudely. I was just shocked. It was a beautiful car. _Exquisite._

He laughed at me and shook his head, showing no offence to my question. "DEA with the SPD." He shrugged so nonchalantly.

"And this is the car you buy?" I asked rhetorically.

"Na, part of the job. We had a job the that finished up the other day. I just haven't handed the keys back in yet."

I smiled. "And I bet you wish you didn't have too?" I asked with a small giggle.

"Damn right." He agreed with a wide grin as he looked back to the car as if he really did adore it.

I pulled down my hood, as I walked to the other side of the car, intend to get into the nice dry passengers seat. I was desperate to feel the leather and relax into it.

As I stepped to the side of the car I glanced over and saw James giving me a smile as he opened the door and got into the drivers seat without a word.

_What I didn't see was the hand that came from behind and covered my mouth._

I felt myself being pressed up against a solid chest. The tips of my chucks were dragging the pavement as I was pulled a little ways from the car.

_My heart raced. Panic built._

Where was James?

Why wasn't he stopping this?

_Someone was out to get me._

My backpack fell to the ground and I wriggled in the strong grasp as he pulled me round to face him, his hand still secure over my mouth as he pushed my back against the car.

I couldn't escape him.

_I tired._

Tears formed in my eyes, desperate to make their escape.

The figure was tall and muscular, more muscular than James was.

His face was cloaked in darkness with the hooded jacket he wore, again similar to mine.

A needle was pulled up to his face and I could make out the skin of my attacker. He was black.

The little light in the street highlighted the bottom of his face, his mouth. His lips were dark and full but his perfect white teeth drew in my attention as he used them to help pull the cover off of a needle.

He held it there, never dropping it and from there, I followed the tip of the insecure needle in his hand.

It seemed slow and for some reason I never tried to fight.

_I knew I was gone._

No one was here.

_No one could help me._

I thought I had been wise to take a lift from James. Now I was beginning to see how very wrong that choice was.

From what I could tell he was still in the car. The beautiful car that I had thought would have made Jake jealous.

James had never intended to give me a ride home, he was taking me somewhere else. Somewhere that I wasn't safe, that wasn't home.

The needle had made it to my arm and my attacker easily pushed the sharp metal through the material of the thin jacket I wore.

I watched him empty the needle, mesmerised at how I had been foolish enough to be tricked.

There was not even an attempt to fight him with the pepper spray. It sat deep in my pocket and not in my hand.

_I thought I was safe._

I was in awe of his smile and the Bentley.

_I was stupid._

The substance was placed into the muscle at the top of my arm and slowly I felt it pass through me. My skin warmed and my mind clouded over.

I could hardly focus on what was in front of me.

He released my lips from his palm but I was unable to call out.

My knees weakened and he grabbed at my waist, drawing me into him. I could smell him, the strong whiff of testosterone. No aftershave, just him. His strong pheromones, repulsing me.

I was still awake as he pulled me back form the car a little before he opened the nearest back door of the car. I felt my body being thrown in across the back, leather seat, my face bouncing off of the cold material.

Rolling me around I felt him run his hands up my thighs. I panicked of what he could do to me, that I was completely unable to fight him off of me.

Suddenly a voice snapped. "The boss said we weren't to touch her." _It was James_.

Who was the boss?

Who were _they_?

My attacker sighed. "Yes, but when we can, I am first in line." His accent was foreign, French perhaps.

I felt like I was choking with panic.

What would they do to me?

His hands still sat high on my thighs, his fingers kneading my jean clad flesh.

Suddenly he was gone and a little light shone through the opened door. He had pulled away sharply.

Where did he go? _Not that I cared._

There was some commotion, scuffs off shoes on the tarmac of the street. Some deep groans too.

I heard the faint sound of weight fall to the ground before I felt a tug on my legs once again.

My clothing bunched up behind my back as I was dragged from the car. I could feel the cold damp air on my exposed skin as the man fought to get a better hold on me.

Even though I was unable to hold myself upright, I could see my attacker. His hood was still covering his face.

My head rolled back and as I tried to focus on him, I saw his face but it wasn't bare any more. It was covered.

I was unable to see his lips like I had. All it was, was black. Shadows...

I could see nothing of him at all.

_It scared me._

It was as if I was being captured by the grim reaper.

I heard more shuffling, the arms that gripped me stumbled and I fell out from his clutch.

Smacking my head off the ground I did all I could to focus on what was happening.

The bash I took disorientated me and I could see two of my attacker.

Screwing my eyes shut, I tried to focus once again struggling to fight the drug I had been given.

_But I was already focused. _

These were _two _separate men. My attacker and another.

James was quick to join in, but not before the new person had struck down his opponent.

The hood of my attacker fell and I could see his black skin and long braids. The braids lay sprawled across the ground and he was as useless as I was. He was unconscious.

James squared up to the other and my clouded state got worse. My eyes fluttered shut and there was nothing that I could do to will them to open for me once again.

The scuffles of the two men carried on as they blurred out, my world turning to a silent Black.

* * *

I tried to fight my numb state as my ears began to try to tune in on the voices in the background.

_Where was I?_

_Who had me?_

The realization of what had happened came flooding back to me, so I stopped my attempts and stayed still. Not that it was hard, my limbs were like concrete. I had been given something strong and I was sure it would take a while yet before it was out of my system.

"We need to call some one." I heard a female hiss in a low tone. She was so quiet it was almost impossible to make her out, but I had heard her.

"We can't. He said not too, that he was dealing with it." A man's voice called this time, and a little louder, too.

"Dealing with it?" She yelped in response. "Does this look like he's dealing with it? What did they give her?"

"I don't know." He snapped back, exasperated. "Just trust him." He argued.

"I don't trust him. That's the thing. He's scum." She spat back.

Fear peaked in me at her obvious distaste for the man that they were talking about. It sounded like she had been dragged into whatever this was.

"Just stop." He told her firmly. "You don't need to be here. You don't need to be involved if you don't want too."

"Yes, I do." She growled, her voice climbing. "I'm not letting him near her. You involved me and now I'm going to make sure she's okay. I'm not leaving her in a house full of men. She will be petrified." She growled at him.

But I already was petrified. Was she that concerned of there possible actions towards me?

I knew I had to learn my fate. I couldn't just lay there, not knowing.

I fought to move, to open my eyes.

My hand moved along the soft material below it and I heard the girl gasp at it.

"She's wakening up. Do something." She ordered.

"Like what?" He snapped at her. "She needs to come too. Don't crowd her, Alice."

_Alice._

The name meant nothing to me. I couldn't place it all. I knew no one of that name.

There was a gentle rub on my forearm and her voice twinkled in my ear. "Don't panic. You're alright." She assured me but it did nothing for my mental composure.

"Don't touch her. Give her space." He ordered again with a groan.

"Piss off Jasper. I'm trying to keep her calm. I thought you were the doctor..." She sighed impatiently.

"I am. She will be frightened-"

She interrupted him, quite clearly annoyed. "And I'm just trying to sooth her."

"You're impossible." He argued with her.

"I thought that's why you loved me?" She asked with a little humour to her voice, her tone softening.

Were they partners? Together?

A sigh came from him. "I just hope he knows what he's doing."

There was a hand at my wrist, cold dry fingers caressed the skin on the inside. "Her pulse is strong. She will be fine, she'll feel a little hungover, but fine." He told her.

I relaxed a little with the comfort that there was no damage to me from what they had injected.

The girls hand still lay on my forearm and she stroked it, seeming to try and offer some form of relief.

I had to fight the dark. I needed to see where I was. Opening my eyes, I squinted at the bright light shining through the window.

The girl, Alice, jumped in my view, blocking the daylight a little. "Are you okay?" She asked a little worriedly. Her hair was almost black, short and spiky, she had a warm smile on her face and I eased a little, feeling that someone here appeared to be on my side.

I never answered her, instead I tried to lift myself up, to which a blond guy came rushing at me, pinning me back down.

I gasped at his contact, his forceful ways...

"Shit, sorry." He apologised with a crease to his forehead. "I was just trying to check you over. I'm a doctor. I wont hurt you. I'm just trying to see that you are okay." His words were slow and clear, he obviously was a little concerned that I wasn't taking all of this in.

I nodded, accepting the help that I didn't know if I could refuse.

Who was he to answer to if something happened to me?

"Alice, get her some water." He ordered with a little firmness to her tone.

I worried that we would be left together and of what he was capable of. I was still weak, he could have done anything to me.

Relief swept through me when I saw the girl bounce to the side of the room and beginning to pour from a large crystal jug.

I heard the ice plop into the water of the glass and I was grateful it was cool and that it seemed fresh.

She stood off to the side as the boy, Jasper, tried to help me sit up a little. "I'm just helping you take a drink." He warned me as he carefully placed his hand on my shoulders, gently guiding me up off of the bed I had found myself in.

Looking around the room it was beautiful.

It was a light dove grey with an accent wall of a deep teal colour. Modern and fresh, masculine but still feminine at the same time.

There wasn't any lacking on amenities either. There was a wall of shelves, filled to capacity with all manner of books. It was an impressive collection.

On another wall, hung a sleek Bose CD player in a shiny black casing, a collection of music balanced on racks, standing up off the floor, there was four of them, each containing about fifty discs each.

My eyes landed on what I was lying on. A large bed covered in a champagne coloured sheets. They looked to be made of rich satin.

A beautiful collection of furniture in dark wood filled the room in drawers, side tables and a desk. It was thick heavy wood. Expensive.

It reminded me of the expensive car, the Bentley. Had it brought me here?

The glass touched my lips and I jumped back in fright, not realizing what was happening. My brain was trying to comprehend what had happened to me.

With great struggle I helped hold the glass, along with the man's hand, sipping it.

He smiled down at me, as if I had just managed some great feat. The girl only tried to get closer as she placed the back of her hand across my forehead, assessing my temperature, I think.

"You've cooled down." She told me with a smile.

I looked at her wide eyed, wondering how she could appear to be so normal when I had been kidnapped.

_Was she psychotic?_

I didn't know where I was or who these people were or what they even wanted with me. I had to ask, to hope that they would give me something. An ounce of truth.

"I found my voice. "Wh..Where am I?" I asked so quietly, I was sure I would have to ask again.

"Don't worry, you're safe." The girl crashed to her knees at the side of my bed and reached for my hand as if to reassure me once more. She did seem awfully keen to show that I was in no danger. But I had heard her talk of another man, who might not be as caring as she was.

The man only looked on before he began to speak. "We won't hurt you." He promised in that slow articulated voice that he had used earlier. "Our friend, he saw what was happening. He helped you." He smiled down at me but I didn't know if I should believe him.

Surely, if he had helped me, he would have taken me to a hospital to be checked over. I had been drugged. There was no doubt about it.

I remembered the needle going it my arm.

It was then I realized the small dull pain at the top of my arm. The muscle was sore.

My hand went to it, gently rubbing the spot.

"We don't know what they gave you, but you're okay. It was to keep you from trying to put up a fight." His gentle voice told me.

I remembered that. I tried to fight a little but then I felt defeat. Once I saw the needle, I knew I wasn't going to get away.

_My backpack._

Where was my backpack? I had dropped it.

I hoped it had been left where it had fell so someone could begin to try and find me.

I looked around, checking if it was in the room with me. "My backpack..." I mumbled to myself as I pulled myself to the side of the bed to look for it.

A rush of tingles swept up my neck and up the back of my throat and to my face. Dizziness plagued me and I swayed, my arm buckling from under me.

The blond reached for me, his hand ghosting my face.

Bouncing on my side onto the mattress I felt sick. My gut swirled. I began to retch and instantly the girl had a trash can in front of me, letting me heave the little contents of my stomach.

The girl pulled my hair back as the guys hands gently rubbed at my neck and back. His touch was soft and gentle and I felt my stomach relax.

"Easy." He told me off gently. "You need to take it slowly. No sudden moments."

"Or what?" I asked feeling a little threatened by his words. My watery eyes looked up from him as I looked up from my crouch forward position.

"What?" He asked confused before realizing his words. "No. I told you. We won't hurt you." He promised once again, but it was falling on to deaf ears. I knew nothing of these people. Why should I trust them?

He began again. "Edward has your backpack. You'll get it back later."

"Why?" I snapped at him as I tried to sit back up on my heels to face him.

He sat at the edge of the bed and he looked like he was in more discomfort than I was. How was that possible? He held me captured.

He sighed, gaining his composure. "He was looking for your details. He needed to know if you were on any medication, or any important information."

"Why?" I snapped again. "I thought you were the doctor?"

He shuffled in his spot, seeming to struggle with the same question I gave him.

He wasn't part of this. He wasn't some thug. Someone had dragged the two of them into it. The question was who was that and where was he?

The girl moved to sit beside me on the bed, her hand released my hair and took my hand gently in hers. "Someone came at you. " She was slow with her words, trying to make me understand, so I listened. "We don't know who. Our..._friend_..." She seemed to struggle with that word and I couldn't help notice the venom that laced it. "...he saw it. He saw what they did to you. He brought you here to keep you safe. He's a doctor, too." She informed me.

I suddenly began to feel worried about who had tried to take me. What had they wanted with me?

"Who were they?" I asked as the first tear made its way from my eyes.

Who knew I was here? Did anybody even notice I was gone?

My dad must have been worried. It was daylight and I hadn't been home.

_Was he looking for me?_

"We don't know who. We don't know anything." She motioned between herself and the boy, implying that they were in the dark as much as I was.

Air stuttered in my lungs. "Who is the other man? Who..._helped_ me?" the word _'helped'_ match the tone of Alice when she had used the word _'friend'_. It seemed both words were being used very loosely right now.

"Edward. It was he who brought you here." She told me with a small smile. "He's a prick, but he seemed intent on keeping you here." She told me a little rushed.

"Alice." Jasper snapped at her. She had obviously said too much.

"What? She deserves to know. I'm not lying to the poor girl. He's up to something and I need to know." Her eyes narrowed at him. She was furious.

"He won't hurt you." She quickly told me once again. "None of us will. But I just don't know what's going on. I'm in the dark as much as you. But something must be worrying him, to keep you here."

"Do you know Edward?" She asked intently, desperate for me to confirm a connection.

"I...I don't know any Edwards." I couldn't think at all.

I thought through the names of Jakes friends.

"James?" I put out there. I wasn't even sure if I knew what I was saying. But did they know him?

"Who is he?" The blond asked sharply.

"I thought..." I sighed at my idiocy. "I thought he was a friend of my dads or Jake-"

"Who's he?" he quickly asked.

I shrugged. "My best friend." I felt so jaded it was unbelievable.

A silent moment passed before he pressed me again. "James..? Was he the one that drugged you?"

I shook my head. "No. But he was part of it...I think." I had no idea what had really happened. Did someone go for James.

"Wait." I shouted, understanding it all. "He's in DEA. He said that he just finished a job. Do you think someone was after him and I got caught up in it?" I looked between the two for an answer. For someone to tell me I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"What's the DEA?" Alice asked confused.

"Drug Enforcement Agency." Jasper told her blankly.

"Drugs?" She shrieked. "Someone did that for drugs?"

"Alice, its a lot of money for those guys to loose. They'll be wanting it back." He seemed like he was stressed. He was struggling like I was, to put the pieces together.

"So, someone called James is with the DEA. What did he look like?" He focused on me, paying strict attention.

"Tall, long blond hair...Like really long." He did seem to stand out a little.

Jasper nodded thinking. "And what were you doing with him?" He asked.

"He said he knew my dad. That they went fishing together. He was giving me a ride home." The words left my mouth is desperate gasps. "You don't think that they did something to him do you?" My mind raced constantly, trying to solve the mystery and to figure out who James was.

The room was silent as I tried to think. "Wait. James, he was fighting with someone..." I didn't know who had taken me out the car. I remembered James, my attacker and the other hooded man. But I hadn't saw his face. I had no recollection of him. "Also, James had been talking to the guy that drugged me. I was passing out, but I heard them." I had tiny flashes of sound in my ears, of him warning the other to keep his hands off of me.

"Who's Edward?" I snapped, infuriated that I was being held by innocents. " I need to talk to him. What the hell happened?" I demanded furiously. I wasn't being kept in the dark any longer, not when they said I could trust them.

"I need to know, now." I wasn't staying here a moment longer if they were still claiming to be helping me.

The blond looked down at me, shaking his head. "No, you have to stay in here."

* * *

_**Please let me know what you think. Chappy two on its way right now!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/u: Again - a huge kick ass thanks to Cullen Cousin for being my beta and making sense of my writing. She makes it sparkle more than Edward.**_

_****_

_**

* * *

**_

****

The Difference Between Us

**Chapter 2**

_**EPOV**_

In the lounge, I paced the dark mahogany hardwood floor with my iphone pressed to my ear waiting for him to come back on the other end of the line. I didn't know what to do with her. The girl up stairs, Isabella.

Like I had offered to do, I was keeping her here. I just didn't know how I was supposed to do that. How do you tell an adult, no. She had her damn rights. I was taking them away from her by keeping her captive. And the thing was, her father was agreeing to it.

Having her here wasn't the issue. It was to try and keep her here that would cause a hassle. I knew she would try and leave. She would think I was lying. But I had to let her see, that as messed up and crazy as it sounded, the only place she could be was here, where no one could find her.

She was some coffee waitress that worked in an independent shop. The place was always busy and in the short time I knew of her, she was working there constantly. To go along with learning to take flack from gobby customers, she grew up with a cop dad. She had attitude and she had balls. I could tell. I could sense it from her. _Her stay would never be easy. _

She wasn't a complete cow, I knew that and I had seen that too. She could stand on her own two feet, but give her puppy eyes and a sad face, she would do all she could to make your day that much better.

But she had never made mine better.

_She didn't know who I was._

Hearing the small creak on the stair case, I was alerted to Jasper's presence as he walked into the lounge, joining me. He was mad at me. It was us two in the house. Well Alice, too, but she was only beginning to stay more and more with the fact that it appeared Jasper had moved out of their apartment to be with me. Alice would have came with him instantly, if it was anyone else but me.

Alice couldn't stand me, and honesty, I couldn't blame her. I struggled to look at myself in the mirror too.

Raising a brow at him, as I waited for some response. Some answers as to what had happened last night.

He was in charge of tapping Bella for information. He was the diplomat where as I was just a wanker. I snapped at the slightest hesitance on other peoples part.

I was learning.

_I had learned_.

I just needed to do it better.

Isabella's father was convinced he knew who was behind the attempt last night, therefore, he wanted me to keep her with me.

If I was honest and truthful, I had been the one to make the offer; in fact, I practically begged for him to let me keep her.

_I wanted her here. _And I really didn't know why.

So he agreed. She had spent the night unconscious in the the spare room and Jasper had kept a constant eye over her as she slept. Alice was here too. The only reason she stayed, was to help Jasper watch the girl. When she found out I was going to keep the girl here against her will, Alice proceeded to tell me what a "fucking monster" I was and decided I couldn't be trusted with her. Alice was feeling very protective of Isabella.

But now I was just beginning to realize what I had offered to take on. _She was never just going to agree to this._

"She's awake." He confirmed and I let out a sigh of relief that she was okay, that she got through whatever they had drugged her with. I was worried that after the tumble to the ground and the drugs that they fed her, she might never have woken up. I couldn't believe I had lost my grasp of her when that guy had came at me.

I heard the thud of her head hitting the ground and I only hoped to god that she would be okay. And now it appeared she was. Thankfully. Least I wasn't lying to the chief any more.

"She wants to talk to you." Jaspers face was apologetic, but I knew she would want to see me at some point. _It just wasn't that point right now._ I couldn't face her right in that moment. She was scared enough as it was; if she was to face me now, god only knows what her reaction will be. She would most likely try jumping out of her two-story bedroom window, just to escape.

I silently ordered him to take a seat, with the point of my finger, knowing that he was going to have to listen to what I had to say and relay it to Isabella.

She wasn't leaving here. It wasn't safe. That's what I had to keep remembering.

"Edward..." His gruff voice called back down the line. Charlie.

"Still here, sir." I called back to him. I owed my life to this man. This man meant more to me than any other creature in this world, with the exception of possibly Jasper. This man was completely lost in the police service. In reality, he was a god damn saint.

"I need to try an keep this as a covert operation for your own safety, as much as Bella's. If they link me to you, they will link you to Bella also. I'm not putting you in any more danger than necessary. We do this my way, okay? Only call my cell and I'll only contact you on yours. But I need to know if we have the right people. I'm going to fax you some pictures of this pair and see if it's the same guys from last night. I'm faxing them because I don't want them to be able to trace anything on the computers if they decide to try and hack into them for any reason. If they are even able to do that. I know, lately, attempts at hacking have been made."

I listened to him, understanding completely. "Do you have a number I can fax too?" My eyes jumped to Jasper. He could help me. "Yes, you can fax my friends works line. It's in his office." I clarified that it was safe. I trust Jasper with my life.

Jasper frowned at me, moving himself to the edge of the couch. He was clearly pissed at me, but I had to know who those men were and if their connection was to Charlie or just a random coincidence at grabbing a girl.

"Edward, I remember Jasper, but can you trust that no one else will see these?" He asked a little worriedly.

"He'll call me when he's at his office so he can get them instantly. No one else will see them." I promised. Who ever it was last night, they weren't stupid. It seemed organised and planned, only they had never expected me, it was just pure luck that our paths had crossed and I had been watching her. If they wanted her back, I had to keep this as quiet as possible. No one was to know about Isabella.

He sighed down the phone. "Okay, kid. Just been careful." I nodded but I never actually answered him. My mind raced at what I would need to do.

Jasper only looked more enraged as I called out his fax line number. He whispered 'no' to me constantly, but the truth of the matter was, Jasper didn't understand yet. He didn't know who Isabella was and he didn't know why I had her, other than the reason, I had saw someone attempt to kidnap her.

Charlie hung up the phone and I threw mine to the side, it bounced off of the black leather couch that I sat on.

"Want to tell me what the hell is going on?" He snapped at me.

"Yes." I told him sharply. "I need you to listen and I need you to listen real good. Isabella...She's chief Swans daughter." He looked at me confused. Of courses he wouldn't remember him. "He was with me. He was the first..." I trailed into the air as the thought of that night coming flooding back to me. I shuddered at the memory. The thought of that night tormented me constantly; it still did, it was all still so fresh in my mind.

"She has to stay here." I told him frankly. "There was no where else for her to go. I have to keep her safe."

"For how long?" He looked completely bewildered at my words.

"I don't know yet. But she's in danger. Her father thinks that the people who tried to pick her up, have ties to a drug dealer. He needs us to keep her here and out of sight. The two guys from last night got away. There's no crime scene. No one knows what they look like except me and Isabella." I rubbed at my head with my fingers, struggling to think of them getting up and escaping. They would be looking for her again, and me, possibly.

"You can't keep her." He blared at me. "You can't just do that. She a person, not a pet." he reminded me.

"I need to. He's a good guy, the Chief, we need to do this for him." I urged. Jasper knew as much as I, how much the chief was one of the good ones. I couldn't have some criminal put his hands on his daughter. He didn't deserve that loss or even the possibility of it ever happening.

I knew what she meant to him. I had seen it. The old man was awkward and struggled to show her any real connection, but it was there._ I knew it was._

Really, it was sad situation. They were both happy to be around the other, but they just couldn't express it. I suppose I could understand it.

I was a stranger looking into their world from the outside and with my job and life gone, I had nothing else to do but sit there and watch them live out theirs.

Jasper stood up and towered above me, "When do you want me to go?" To his office he meant. "I need to talk to Alice and try to make sure that she doesn't try to strangle you while I'm gone."

I shrugged as I stood up to face him. "I can handle her. Can you just go as soon as you can?" I asked. I was desperate to see those pictures.

His eyes closed before quickly opening them again and rolling his eyes at me. "I'll just speak to Alice, then I'll go."

With that he left me alone in the lounge and nothing but my thoughts and my rattling mind to occupy me.

* * *

"Why couldn't _you_ do it?" She nipped at me for the third time in the space of half an hour. Her fiery violet eyes looked at me in disgust.

She had never, _ever_ liked me.

I groaned as I played with the string of my hooded top. "You know why I can't," I growled at her. "Just do what you're told or leave."

"I'm going to call the police." She threatened.

"Alice, when are you going to see that the police know about this. She's the daughter of the Chief. He knows she's here. He knows where I live. There is nothing stopping him from coming in here and taking her home. He told me to watch her." I shrugged in my small lie.

"Now let me get this straight, some cop asked you to watch over his daughter?"

"Yes he did." Trying to keep my voice from giving me away. "He helped me when I needed it, so it is only right that I return the favour." I wasn't sure if she was buying into it or not. "He asked if I would help him out. So, I offered to keep here here until he knew what was going on. Who ever that was last night...there smart and they were out to get her. Do you want to put her in danger?" I asked seriously.

Alice was good, she was a good person. She would never set out to hurt a soul. To her I was bad, and I knew that she only saw, whatever this was, as something dodgy that I was up to. Something to gain from. But that wasn't the case, it was far from it.

Her eyes turned to face the floor as she was clearly surprised by my words.

"I just don't get why she cant go somewhere else. She must know someone..." She concluded.

"Yeah, I'm sure there is. But we don't know who these people are, or what their even up to.

So until we know, we are keeping her out of sight."

"For how long?" She asked in shock, her voice getting louder. "She can't stay here. Not with you." She snarled at me.

"Jasper is here, too." I reminded her.

"Because you took him from me. He left our house to be with you." She shouted with the fury that she had been keeping on that particular matter.

"I need him." I screamed back. She wasn't talking to me like that. She knew without him I would have been lost.

"No, you needed someone that you could use like your own little puppet." Her fiery temper was only growing and I prayed that Jasper would be back soon. "You have your hand so far up his ass he will run around and do anything for you. He always has and you have been the worst friend ever to him."

"I have not." I tried to fight my case, I knew I wasn't the greatest of friends, but I wasn't that bad. _Was I?_

"You think your such a fucking big shot. You always have. You think if you say something, that everyone one should jump to that tune."

She smirked at me, her last bite dying to get out. "Just remember karma is a bitch and she took an awful big swipe at you last time. Don't think it can't happen again."

_That was it. I had it with her. _

I reeked with the anger that coursed my body.

I lunged at her and threw her over my shoulder. She wasn't staying another second under my roof. She was out. I'd never hurt her, but I had no qualms about removing her. Not from my house at least.

Her hands hammered into my back and I felt a sharp pain in my side. "Let me down, you prick." My breath stuttered and once again I felt another blow at my ribs.

Agony flared up as I collapsed onto the ground with Alice on top of me, crushing me even more.

I roared out in agony, clutching at my side and struggling to move.

Alice was quickly off me as she complained about me hurting her shoulder in the fall. But I couldn't care. I could barely concentrate on the cold marble floor that my face had smashed into. The pain on that too was horrendous.

There was some other noise before I heard a gasp. "Oh my god." Her words were a whisper, but I knew it wasn't Alice's voice. It was Isabella's.

"Edward you are such an ass. This is what you deserve!" Alice shouted down at me as I lay there in a crumpled heap unable to move.

"What...what's she doing out of her room?" I gasped in panic, my breathing erratic with pain and fear.

I felt her hands on me, Alice's, as she began to try to move me. I pulled at my hood, hiding myself from the view of Isabella. "Get her out of here." I ordered to Alice. "Go back up stairs." I told Isabella, as the pain racked through me at Alice's attempt to move me again.

"Leave me alone, Alice." I screamed at her, my voice was a mix of high and low notes, the anger and pain mixing together.

I felt like a joke. How I was to keep this girl here, when I couldn't even keep Alice in line or get her out my door.

If Isabella was to challenge me then I was gone. I was still way to weak to fight.

"Just go." I screamed once more. "Both of you." I clutched at my ribs, trying to ease the pain.

Both of them rushed past me, to the front entrance and I screamed at them again. "No. Upstairs. Both of you. Now."

I kept my face down, hidden from there sight. I had the front door locked. Neither of them could get out, but I didn't want them to get a chance to leave when Jasper got back.

_I had to keep Isabella safe._ She still didn't understand why she was here.

Pulling myself up off the floor, I gasped for air once more. The pain was unbearable and I knew that my healing ribs had taken a great beating, not only by Alice, but also me and my feeble attempt to throw her out of the house.

With my palms flat on the floor and my arms shaking, I begged the two of them to wait and listen. "Your dad knows your here, Isabella. He wants me to keep you safe until he knows what's happening." My eyes studied the floor, following the fine white lines that ran freely thought the black granite.

"He knows I'm here?" She asked disbelieving. You could hardly blame the girl, it wasn't as if she recognised me. And after last night...

With a deep groan, I let my hand reach for the seat of a stool, that sat at the island in the middle of my kitchen. The house was beautiful. I knew it was and I knew how much money I had spent on it, but I also knew how worthless it all seemed now.

Alice was actually nice to me. I felt her hand reach out for me and I took it without complaint because the truth of the matter was, I was wrong. I should never have man handled her like I had.

I looked up at her, silently passing her my thanks to her; when my ears were met with a horrific gasp from Isabella.

Instantly my head shot up to her, instinct taking over. Realizing my mistake, I ducked my head back down as Alice helped me to my feet and steadied me onto the stool.

I was still in pain as I reached for the bottle of pills that lay on the counter; as Alice skipped off to the fridge to fetch me a bottle of water.

Isabella hadn't moved. Not an inch. I was to afraid to look back up at her and scare her any more.

Alice wasn't wrong, I was a monster.

I tugged at the hood of my top once again and sheltered my face from her gaze. Alice only looked at me as if she knew something I didn't. She was still silent. She never often had words to offer me, not nice ones anyway.

Alice's head turned back to Isabella, her short black spikes waving ever so gently at the back of her head.

She was pretty cute. I could see why Jasper had went for her. The two were due to get married, with the two never actually separating for any length of time. The only real time that had separated them, I had caused and I hated myself for that. One for being the prick I was and demanding of Jaspers time; two, the time he spent with me because no one else could be bother with me. Well, with the exception of Charlie.

Reaching for a second bottle on the island, I opened it up and scattered a few of the pills into my palm and knocked them back. The hit of relief slowly consuming me as I still felt Isabella's eyes on me.

"You've already had enough of them today." Alice chided me as per bloody usual.

I rolled my eyes at her and looked up. "Trust me, this full bottle couldn't take it all away." I promised her.

The pills weren't magic. They couldn't go back in time. They couldn't make me any less of a prick.

I could of happily swallowed them all and just let it all go.

But I never had.

All because of the two brown eyes that bore into the back of my hood from across the room – _Isabella._

The front door went and I let out a sigh at finally not being alone and the hope of Jasper giving my injuries a check over.

You could hear his footsteps coming up the hall and I squirmed knowing that he never took off his wet shoes off at the door, but I wasn't going to bitch.

"In here Jasper." Alice sung out to him. Her twinkling voice covering any signs of bother, as if nothing had happened.

He walked in to the kitchen and I hoped that he remember to lock the front door.

His steps stopped and I looked up at him, standing behind Bella with the look of shock across his face.

"I thought you weren't letting her out?" He asked surprised.

She jumped at his voice and snapped her head around to meet his. She still wore her t-shirt from the coffee shop where she worked at, since she had just worked the late shift, before her life was turned upside.

She worked a lot of late shifts. I never liked it when she did that.

"He can't keep me hostage." She shouted at him and that ballsy girl I knew she could be, came shining out of her. It was rare to see, but right now she was getting her money's worth of it.

"I'm not. I'm keeping you safe." I told her, turning to face the back of her head. I realized what I was doing and turned back to face the matching marble of the surface of the island, that covered the kitchen floor.

"Safe?" She questioned me, her tone full of venom as she turned to me and took a step forward "I can keep myself safe-"

"So what about last night...An off day was it?" I asked sarcastically as I turned to face her.

Her eyes narrowed at me, full of spite. If it was possible, she hated me more than Alice did.

"I don't need some Frankenstein to think he's doing me a favour. My dad would have found me. He's a cop." She fired off the last sentence as if it really meant something.

In the grand scheme of things just now, sadly it didn't.

"Frankenstein?" I bit as I jumped up from my stool. Straight away I regretted my move as I once again clutched at my ribs letting out a groan.

"Whoa." Jasper came between us, gliding me back to my seat, gently.

"I know your dad's a cop. I have a lot of respect for him, seriously, I do. But last night I saved you from those guys and he's asking me to keep you here with me. There is no connection. Your dad helped me out in the past and that is it. No one will connect the dots." I sighed deeply, the breath of my words struggling to get out.

Jasper lifted my Calvin Kline under shirt, inspecting my side. "What happened?" He asked tiredly, knowing something went down.

"I was trying to throw your girlfriend out. She was being her usual bitchy self." I snapped.

He sighed. "The pair of you need to stop this." he ordered, like he had done so many other times in the past six weeks. "Alice, he knows okay. He sees it now. Let him adjust." It was Jasper's weak way of telling her off. He never really could, and she never listened to a blind word that he said, but he had something over her, something that seemed to calm her.

I looked at him, wondering just exactly what he meant. "What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped at him, grabbing him by the front of his khaki G star jacket.

He pulled on my hand, and I let go of it. "Don't start this shit, Edward. I'm here helping _you_." Jasper was never afraid to confront me, he just rarely did it. It had just been us two since we were eighteen and in the past twelve years, we had grew pretty damn close to one another.

We started college together when we were eighteen and both were now surgeons. Jasper had always been a good man, the kind of guy that watched something devastating on the news and picked up the phone to donate as much cash as he possibly could or even help with relief himself if he was able. He had a good heart, so that's what he went on to do; help others and make their heart's better again. He was a cardiologist.

Me on the other hand. I was vain, shallow, self absorbed and easily swayed with money. And with my father already owning his own business in the field, I followed in his steps. I became a plastic surgeon. Not the kind that helps to rebuild a face after they have been mauled or burned. No, no, that would involve dealing with normal surgeons in normal hospitals. I wanted to be elite and make more money.

It had been the only thing I could see, the only thing I could pay attention to. Well, that and someone that was in need of a boob job.

So that's what I did. I took advantage of the girls that had low self esteem and I made a living out of that. A pretty fucking profitable one at that too.

Inner beauty?

_What the fuck is inner beauty?_

I never quite understood it. Beauty was something to be created. It was a work of art. I was the artist. It shone to the public, to the people of the world. It was what separated the world. Jealousy, hatred. It all poured out from the need to be something else – someone else.

Who didn't want the perfect face?

Who didn't want the perfect body?

It really was my belief that beauty was what kept the world spinning and in a sense I was right.

I was beautiful and I had everything.

Now I wasn't and now I had nothing.

* * *

"That's him." Confirmed Isabella as she looked deep into the eyes of the man who had called himself James.

It was only a picture on the paper but I could see her shiver at the thought. I couldn't blame her. I under stood her – and I was going to be watching my back for a long time because of it.

"Yeah, the other, that's him too." I agreed. The two were the same guys from last night. There was no doubt about it. I had a clear look at both of them and Isabella had a good look at the other as she walked and talked with him.

Jasper sat back into his stool as Alice pulled herself into his side from her stool. "You need to call the Chief." He told us seriously.

"Can I go home now?" Isabella asked with some desperation as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

I shook my head, refusing her. "Nope, it looks like your staying." It wasn't safe for her right now and her being here, no one would find her.

"But..but if they know its them, they can go and arrest them." Se looked at me desperately before quickly averting her gaze. "There is no need for me to stay here." She told me with a little bite to her tone. Like I had thought, this was never going to be easy.

"Isabella, they already have warrants out for there arrest. Kidnapping is a misdemeanour to what your dad had said about these guys." Pulling up the collar of my top a little with nervous fingers I looked at her in the eye. "They will get you before the police can get them."

Her brows furrowed and I could see the storm brewing in her, the argument that we 'can't stop her'.

Truthfully, I really couldn't stop her from breaking down my door and leaving, or jumping out the damn window. But I had secured her in the house and there was no way she was escaping without breaking something first. Be it a window or her leg.

She chewed on her bottom lip and shook her head, turning to Jasper. "I have a life." She shouted. "You can't keep me here. I have a job, I have responsibility." She sighed frustrated. "I have school." her last sentence showed her emotion and Jasper put a calming hand on her, trying to sooth her.

She shrugged away from him and walked up to the window, looking out onto the small garden out back.

When was she to start school? I never knew she was going to try and get a degree. I thought she worked.

It wasn't important and I wasn't mentioning it. She seemed upset at the prospect of missing out on that chance. But hell, there was always next year. I'm sure missing another year wouldn't hurt if it was taking her until now to start.

Quietly, Jasper reminded me again. "You need to call the Chief."

His face was sorry, but at his words, Isabella's head snapped around to face us. "I want to talk to him. He can't do that. Who will look after him?" Her words were loud and erratic, as if she was still panicking.

"Isabella...it's okay. He will be able to take care of himself, you being out there will only cause him more worry." Alice danced off of her stool and glided across to Isabella, placing caring hands on her arms.

"I'll be here. I won't let that ass near you." Alice motioned to me and I felt my anger bubble once again.

"Fuck sake, Alice. I know you think it, but I'm not some monster. She's fine with me." My eyes glanced to Isabella's but she quickly averted her gaze once again. I still directed my words at her, even if she wasn't wanting to look at me.

"You don't have to be alone around me. Stay in your room for all I care." I gritted my teeth so hard I was sure I was causing permanent damage. "Just remember, I'm doing this for your dad."

Her eyes shot to me at the mention of her dad. "How do you know him anyway?" She looked at me, as if I was lying.

Jasper cleared his throat and began to speak for me. I wasn't explaining myself to her. "I know that James lied to you, but Edward does know you father. He helped him out." He shrugged. "He's just returning the favour."

I glared at Jasper. I knew she deserved some explanation but I didn't want her asking any more questions.

"How did he help you out?" Her eyes traced along my face and I tugged at my hood and and collar, trying to hide myself from her a little more. She knew part of it, just by looking at me. But I wasn't about to sit her down and begin to tell her my life story.

As much as _I_ knew about her; she liked lattes with one sugar, she never ate crusts, even on her pizza. She was a little unsteady on her feet and she liked old music, going by the small fractions of sound that I had heard from her headphones in passing. I knew her, I had watched her, but yet, she knew nothing about me; I intended to keep it that way

"It doesn't matter, but you can talk to him if you want." I told her as I began to shuffle through the contacts on my phone, reaching Charlie's.

The line began to ring and he was quick to answer it, knowing it would be me who was calling.

"Edward?" he answered.

"We matched the faces. It's them." I told him quickly knowing how desperate he was to hear it.

The phone was quiet and for a moment and I wondered if we had been disconnected.

There was a sigh and I knew that he was still there, he was just trying to think of what to do next.

"Can..can you still keep her?" He asked a little warily.

My eyes glanced down to Isabella's and she once again looked away from me, appearing disgusted. "Of course." I replied back and thankful that she was going to be staying with me. "You might want to talk to her though, she doesn't trust me too much."

He laughed a little at that one and ordered me to pass the phone to her.

She looked at it and me as if we had just fallen from the sky.

"He wants to talk to you." I prompted with pushing the phone forward a little more in her general direction.

She took it, holding it up to her ear. "Dad?" She checked, as if I had been lying to her.

There were faint mumbles across the line but I couldn't make out what he was saying to her. All three of us watched her intently as she took the call.

Her eyes began to well up slightly and I hated that she had been put into this situation, but at the same time I was grateful.

I had wanted to know everything about this girl. Now was my chance.

"I'll be fine." She promised with some desperation and I took it she was resigning to the idea of having to stay here. "I don't need all of this. Just let me come home. Tell him to let me leave."

There were words from Charlie once again and she wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her bare hand, before turning around to face the window, trying to have as much privacy as she could. I wasn't letting her out of my sight with my phone. She never had hers and wouldn't be getting it back any times soon either.

"I don't know these people." She cried down the phone. "I'll go away for a while. I'll take a trip." She argued some more.

It was clear this was a battle she was losing and even though I knew she wanted to be nowhere near me, I also knew it was her best option.

If what Charlie said was true, these guys had men all over the city. It was too high a chance for her to be recognised, even if it was only to leave town.

Besides, I didn't want her going somewhere that I couldn't watch her.

"Fine." It was all she said as she growled down the phone. She hung up on him before turning around and handing me my phone back with her eyes to the floor.

The room was quiet as I took my phone back and we all kept a close eye on her.

Her voice was low but it was sure. So, so sure. Her eyes still looked down to the floor as she began to speak. "You can't keep me here, and you can't make me. You can't make me do anything."

_This was going to be a living hell._

_

* * *

_

**Please leave a little review saying what you thought. It would help me out loads!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thanks and a big shout out to Cousin Cullen who beta'd this for me. **_

_**

* * *

**_

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 3**

_**BPOV**_

"I don't _want _it." I told him a little more firmly this time, my voice growing louder at his incessant pleading.

It was Jasper, and he was trying to get me to eat.

"I'll leave it for you. You can have it when you want...but it won't taste too great when it's cold." He shrugged as he tried to balance the tray up onto the vanity table.

_Why wouldn't he just listen to me?_

_I didn't want it._

"Take it away. I don't want to even smell it." I yapped at him.

I felt sorry for him. He had obviously been the unfortunate one that had been sent to make sure I got my dinner and that I never starved to death since I had refused to leave the room.

But I was refusing it. _Flat out. _

"Isabella, you must be hungry. You haven't eaten at all." He was exasperated by me, as I shook my head. His long elegant fingers ran through his blond waves as she puffed air into his face, trying to cool himself down.

The truth was, I was starving. It had been almost a full day since I had ate and with the exception of the water I had when I woke, I hadn't drank either. Glasses of warm juice and water lay in my room, given by Alice who had made no noise at me for not drinking them. I was thankful for that. Alice had seemed to pull back a little, she was quiet and never spoke much to me.

_Perhaps she could tell she wouldn't get much of a response back._

But Jasper...Jasper was nice. I liked Jasper. I didn't want to refuse him.

He walked the few short steps and knelt down at the side of the bed that I had found myself in this morning. _Apparently it was my room just now._

"Are you doing this so you can go home?" he asked gently and curiously.

I bit down hard on my lip and reigned in my conflicting emotions.

I was sad. I was scared. I was angry and I wasn't being told what I could or couldn't do.

"I'll eat when I get home." I shrugged while I silently prayed that I wouldn't cry at the way he looked at me. He was so caring, soothing. His tone and everything that surrounded him just made me at ease.

_It was the beast down stairs that made me nervous._

Edward, quite frankly, scared the shit out of me. And that was without him opening his mouth.

When Edward had looked up at me, my heart spiked and it took all my time, back in this room - 'my room' - to make it calm. And even then, that was still debatable. My pulse still raced away, erratic.

_I was terrified of him. _

He seemed to be sharp in his being, elegant movements, despite the pain he had been in. His eyes sparkled a fiery green with the rage that pulsated through him.

Every sound that passed my room only made my heart speed up again.

"We don't know when that will be, yet." he told me a little more sharply.

"If I don't eat, you will just have to send me back home." I told him pointedly.

"You can't do that, Isabella. Think about your dad. Do you want him to worry that you will be kidnapped?" He looked up at me seriously. "You leave here, you walk into their hands again. We don't know what their game is and if you leave, you leave yourself open to them. Edward is trying to protect you, for your fathers sake, by having you here."

"How does he know my dad?" I asked trying to change the subject and to get some more information on the beast. "How did he know me? Was it just coincidence?"

"Your dad was his case worker." he told me as he stood on his feet once again and placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I don't know anything else."

"What happened to him? Was it something to do with his face?" I asked feeling more than a little brave.

_What was I thinking asking that? _

I knew I wasn't in danger being here but my manners had been drowned out by my curiosity.

"That's not my story to tell, Isabella." he walked back over to the try and picked it up. "Do you want this left?" He motioned his head to the tray in his hands.

"Tell me the story and I'll eat it." I bargained. I had to get as much information as I could. If I was safe here then they had no excuse to keep things from me.

Jasper swallowed hard.

"Please. Its not fair for me to tell you. Ask Edward, but he probably wont tell you either." He was certain. Whatever it was that had happened, it was obviously still a very sensitive subject.

"You can take the tray back down with you then." I told him sharply as I rolled onto my side. "The glasses too. I wont be drinking either."

"Isabella, you can't do that – you need to drink." His voice pitched high and I could hear panic in his voice. Was he scared of Edward too?

It was Edwards home and he seemed to hold all the cards that connected with this place, including Jasper.

He didn't hold Alice, though.

She was something else.

"No. You can't make me." I turned my head over my shoulder to face him, "You also can't keep me hostage here, but since you seem to be hell bent on doing that, I'm keeping the right to refuse to eat or drink."

"You're going to piss Edward off. He's doing this for your father. He likes your dad and wants to keep you safe, for him. Let him do it." he begged as he shuffled a little closer to the bed once again.

"If Edward has an issue, tell him he can take it up with me. This conversation is over." And with that I turned round and faced the other side of the perfect little prison that I had found myself in.

* * *

Only a few moments had passed but I could hear Edward reaction loud and clear.

Jasper was right – _he was pissed._

Before I knew it, thunder filled my ears as someone climbed the stairs and Edward swung the bedroom door open, letting it crash against the wall behind it.

Turning to face him, the look on his face told me everything.

He was pissed. _Really pissed_.

You could practically see the steam roll off of him. His eyes alert and that hideous face looking at me.

_What had happened to him?_

Was he in some kind of car accident or had someone done that to him?

Maybe he deserved it. Maybe he pushed someone to do it to him, with his anger.

_Was that wrong to think that maybe he deserved it?_

Was he nice before it happened?

There were so many questions littering my head and none of them seemed to be concerning my current situation, they all concerned him and what had happened to him.

He stood at my doorway with fury filling his eyes and holding the tray that Jasper had only taken back down stairs.

"Eat." he told me pointedly as he placed the tray on the bed. His eyes still bore deep into mine and I could feel my heart prick up in fear again. The beast was too close to me.

His hood still sat up and he glared down at me looking so masterful, as if he expected me to do just exactly as he said.

But he wasn't my master and he never would be.

"No." I told him back in the same tone he had used with me and with all I could manage, I glared back up at him, looking at the pink scars that ran across his face.

_Was he beautiful before this?_

He could see my eyes wandering across his skin, causing him to shrink back into himself. His body receding into a frail like form, drenched in the soft black cotton of his zipped up hooded top.

He didn't look as tall or mean when he did that.

He nervously pulled at the hood of his top as I very obviously tried to inspect the scars some more, pushing for all I could see, all the information I would be given.

His head cowered down, blocking any real visual I had of his face.

_He was hiding from me?_

"You better have that eaten within the next ten minutes, or I swear to god, Isabella..."

_Swear to god, what? What will you do? What do you think you can scare into me?_

He never finished his words though.

I rose my brows at him, expecting the rest but it never came. Instead, Edward quietly turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him with a loud bang that made me jump in my skin.

He seemed to have went scampering back into his shell at me trying to look at his face. I should remember that one_._

I sat there looking at the food on the plate in front of me. I still wasn't going to eat it.

I didn't like him and to be truthful, he did scare me. But I knew I was safe, that he wouldn't hurt me.

Least he wouldn't if he knew what was good for him and knowing my dad.

The food was calling out to me. It smelled delicious. It was making my mouth water and the pain in my gut intensify.

I was so hungry but I had to stand strong on this one.

The plate was a mixture of colours. Pink from the salmon steaks and a deep green from the asparagus. I loved asparagus. There were boiled potatoes too.

I moped to myself silently, hating myself for refusing the food.

_What was I thinking?_

I couldn't take it back now. I would look like a pushover.

Saliva filled my mouth and just made me all the more desperate for what was on the plate.

Soon enough the beast was back and as he silently strode into the room after a small chap on the door, he looked at me after seeing that the plate was still full.

His green eyes glared at me but he said nothing.

Silently he walked to the vanity that still housed many of the glasses of juice and water that had been brought up to me, before lifting one up he silently walked back to me and placed a filled glass of water on the bedside table.

"Play this game if you want, Isabella. But I always win." His tone was calm and it unnerved me. "At least drink the water to save your father from collecting you from the hospital if this is your angle."

I kept my eyes down on the mattress and I tried to stop myself from moving around. I had sat on this bed so long, I was going numb in places. The dulling aces on my bones and on my bottom. I was stiff.

I never said anything in reply, I only kept my eyes on the bed sheets and waited for him to leave me alone.

"You are free to go around the house, Isabella, you know where the kitchen is."

With that, he left me alone once again.

* * *

No one had came back into the room after Edward had left.

It was four in the morning and I couldn't sleep. Hunger pangs haunted me as I tried to rest but all I could think about was food and the dinner I had turned down.

I did what Edward had asked. I had drank the water – I had drank all the water and Juice in the room to attempt to curb the pangs, but it still didn't help. The only thing it had done was make me run to the bathroom all night.

A noise came from my stomach and I felt dizzy with lack of food.

I was ashamed by myself – it had been about thirty hours since I had last ate. People do hunger strikes all the time. _How could I not manage this? _

My hands trembled as I finished the last dregs of fluid that I had in the room. I was needing to go downstairs and get more. But I didn't want too.

Beast would no doubt be in bed but I still didn't want to have to leave the room I had been given. It was the only real thing I had. I still never had my backpack.

Where had that gotten too, anyway? I needed it.

But eventually, sense won out and I found myself at the top of the stairs, heading straight into the kitchen.

I let my foot hit on to the floor of the kitchen, and as my eyes tried to adjust to the dark, I searched out the switch to light up the room.

Finding it, the room lit up and I jumped back in shock as I saw Edward sit at the island with his head down, looking into a cup of hot chocolate.

_Hot chocolate? The beast drank hot chocolate?_

I was more than a little surprised to find him sitting in the dark drinking hot chocolate to say the least. Especially at four in the morning. Didn't he sleep? Or was he too worried that I would try to leave?

He never looked up, never made any effort to acknowledge me. _Nothing._

Panic swept through me at being in the same room as him so I rushed to the tap and filed up a clean glass off of the draining board, and filled it up with water. It would have to do. I wasn't going to look for any food while he sat there.

He still never looked at me. But he did take a small sip of his hot chocolate before placing the cup down in front of him again.

I made it to the safety of the bottom stair as he began to speak.

"You know, you should eat something. I don't want you shrinking on me. Your father wouldn't appreciate it."

I slowly turned to him, but again his eyes never met mine. They still stayed fixated to the cup of hot chocolate.

I didn't want to be hear any longer. I wanted back into that room and lock myself away.

I didn't want to have any conversation with this man and I didn't want to prepare any food around him either.

I tried to keep my breathing steady as I though about what I could make. _But I didn't know what he had in the pantry._

Spying the fruit bowl on the middle of the island, I stepped off the bottom stair and grabbed hold of a red apple before I silently raced away from him and up the stairs and making it to the safety of my bedroom.

Closing my door behind me, my wobbly legs of starvation and fright, buckled and I slid down the back of the door, beginning my small meal of my apple.

* * *

_I can do this. I can do this. I can do this._

I repeated the small mantra in my head over and over and over again, desperate to believe it.

The apple was long gone and with it came a second wind of starvation.

_I could do this. I could._

The day had come and gone and with the disproving looks of Edward and Jasper and the pleading of Alice, I had not ate again.

_But now I felt ill._

_Like, really ill._

The trembles in my hands last night were nothing in comparison to the trembles I had now.

I shivered with the heat of my body looking for something to burn off.

_I felt sick._

I knew there was no possibility that I could be sick, at least with food, but the sensation continued to plague me.

_I could do it. _

If I waited until morning, I knew they would grow worried, that they would let me go and I could go home.

It was all a case of mind over matter.

_Right?_

_I could do this._

I glanced around the room, along the spine of the books. The catalogue of words he had. Where did he get all these books – it was like a library.

I could distract myself.

Getting up, I lifted up the appropriately named book, _Nausea_. I had read it a long time ago and it was a favourite of mine.

I swayed back to the bed on my shaky legs and ignored the sensation of hunger once again.

Opening the book, I got comfortable and began to read. _Well I tried._

My eyes struggled to focus on the words in front of me and suddenly I realized my head was splitting sore.

I needed food. I needed to give this up and just accept what was happening.

But I couldn't. I had my Masters beginning next month and I needed to be there. I had worked so hard to get to this point. It was right in front of me. This was what I always wanted.

I needed to rebel – I needed to buck under his scrutiny and show that I was stronger than him.

I wasn't here to stay and wait out the troubles in life, that was never my story, my game, so why should I start now and stay here?

I had a place to be in the world. A place where I had created.

That was my heaven, that was my life and it was everything I was.

I had to push past this and be who I needed to be.

I stood firm and sure of what that was but once again my legs buckled and I pooled into the floor, desperate for purchase as I fought against the current, the unknown.

_How long was I going to be kept here for?_

Could I really survive in a place like this, without food?

I thought about the beast and everything he was.

He was tall.

He was mostly silent – with the exception of some curse words

But most of all he carried scars. Pink, new and healing scars.

_What had happened to him?_

It was still some great mystery. And I needed to know the answer.

With some effort, I made may way to the vanity and sat on the stool and gazed into the mirror. I looked ill.

I was chalk white and under my eyes were dark with lack of food and sleep.

The gorgeous wooden vanity sat out of place in a house belonging to some one like Edward. I struggled to imagine him going into a shop and purchasing it.

I tugged at the skinny little spaghetti straps of the vest that Alice had given me. I was cold. And I never hand any clothes of my own with the exception of the ones I had worn for the past two days.

How was I to live like that? I mean, I know I'm not some deep fashion conscious girl, but I need clean underwear at least.

Making my way back to the bed I sat with the book in my hand as I fought to wrap a throw that had decorated the lower part of the bed, around me.

Shivering in the perfect little bedroom, the perfect little prison, I tossed the book with force to the back of the door in frustration. Time was painfully slow. It had been four hours since I had saw the beast and I really didn't want to have to come across him any time soon again.

There was a knock at the door and as it opened, Alice's head popped around the corner. Her little black spikes swooshing, but only just. She walked in with a tense, nervous smile and she practically floated across to me in her little blue ballet pumps that seemed to go with her outfit.

In her hand she held just made waffles with chocolate spread.

My mouth watered and my heart raced at the sight.

"I thought I'd offer you some breakfast." She shrugged as she walked in further. "I know you said that you weren't going to eat...but please...for me..?" Taking a seat on the edge of my bed, she looked deep into my eyes, pleading with me.

"You're here for I don't know how long and I know Edward is a prick, but eat this and then he can stay out of your way today." She smiled kindly at me and I couldn't help look to the waffles.

"Jasper and I have work to go to...Edward will be in. Go to him if you need anything, but you don't need to face him if you don't want too. Besides, he's usually sulking away in his room. He's in the basement, so...you kinda have free reign – of the house at least." She laughed lightly.

I couldn't speak. Between my eyes flitting from Alice's to the waffles, all I could think about was the sensation of them filling me up and the taste. They were warm. I could sense it from the smell they gave.

She looked at me and she knew I was crumbling. I was Just so hungry.

She elbowed me a little, encouraging me to take the plate.

Before I knew it, my hand had reached out and swept one of the warm waffles off of the plate and the chocolate melted more from the heat of my tongue as I savoured the taste and the sensation in my mouth.

_It was heaven._

_Sweet, sweet, chocolate waffle heaven._

Alice laughed and as I looked up at her once again I realized I had just finished off the last corner of the waffle. She shrugged a little knowing my case for freedom had ironically just went flying out the window and that I was sold to the last waffle.

I took it without any doubt or hesitation.

Making quick work of the second waffle, I licked off my fingers as I looked to Alice. She was so warm and sunshine, how could she still shine with such vibrant life after living under the same roof as the Beast.

_He was horrendous._

He was meant to be keeping me safe, but the only thing I could feel for the man was contempt.

There was just something so cold and unfeeling about him. His skin resembled granite. His pale complexion and the inability to let anything penetrate through to him.

I wonder if he even felt the scars he carried, happen.

I could tell it just by looking at him.

Or maybe it was my mind. So determined to rebel against the whole situation.

"Wh...when will you be back?" I mumbled, worried of just how long I would have to put up with Edward alone.

"I'll be back about seven. Jasper picks me up after work and if he's going to be late he'll call and I'll get a cab back here." She smiled at me and most likely the obvious look on my face at the realization that I was about to spend the next eleven hours, alone, in the same house as the beast. "Like I say, Edward usually hides away. But he will make dinner. He always does."

I only nodded at her words.

Standing up, she brushed out the creases on her dress and looked at me a little hesitantly. "Are you going to be okay?"

Chewing on my lip I could only shrug my shoulders.

Before I knew it she hugged me tightly, whispering that I would be fine and that she would see me later. With that, she was gone.

* * *

My stomach growled at me as I shifted around in the make shift pyjamas that Alice had given to me as I contemplated on going down for food.

I was hungry again and it was one o'clock in the afternoon and hadn't ate a thing since the waffles that Alice had brought me.

Could I go down and make it to the kitchen for lunch. To make something?

The waffles had done little to actually curb my hunger and I craved more.

I hadn't even showered. I had done nothing but look at the front cover of the book that I had pulled off of the shelf in the middle of the night. I hadn't left the room and I hadn't spoken to Edward.

I shook my head, knowing I had to eat. My fight was gone after I had those waffles, so now it was time to just get on with it.

Reaching for the door, I nervously pulled it open, half expecting to find the beast on the other side of it.

He wasn't. Thankfully. Other wise I may have went running back inside the room, slamming the door behind me.

Creeping the few steps to the top of the stairs, I began my decent.

_Slowly, quietly, observantly._

_Nothing. No beast. No one_.

Reaching the kitchen floor I glanced around and see the hallway that leads to the front door.

Should I attempt it? Should I try to leave?

_I wanted out._

Slowly but surely I had found myself at the edge of the kitchen glancing down to the black door that could lead me back to reality.

I couldn't hear Edward. There was no sound of television form another room to let me know that he was distracted or any sound that was able to muffle, my pretty quiet, foot steps. All that could be heard was the faint hum of the refrigerator.

Taking a deep breath, I summoned the courage to at least try to make it back out civilization. My dad couldn't be too upset with me. Especially when I was old enough to make my own decisions.

I crept past the stairs that led to the basement, mutely and continued on my way to the front door. Each step full of a silent stealth.

There was three feet to go. I could hear passer-byes in the street chatting. I could gain their attention. They could help me.

Before I knew what I was doing. I was banging my fists against the inside of the front door furiously, screaming for attention.

Next I felt arms surround me and pull me away, silencing my mouth with a hand. It was the beast. _Obviously._

He pulled me back and my bare feet trailed across the polished hard wood, just like they had done against the concrete in the street only two night before.

"Are you insane?" He bit at me. His hissing tone breathing into my ear. "Do you want to be in danger?" His grip was tight and the only danger I felt I was near, was actually him.

He dragged me through to the lounge before tossing me onto a black leather couch.

I caught my breath from the panic I had felt and tried to hide behind my knees as I balled myself up, while sitting looking up at him.

He paced the floor furiously as his face faced the floor, his hood covering him up, the grim reaper making another appearance.

_It was him. He was my grim reaper. He would be the one that would chase me to my grave_.

His breathing was erratic and I noticed him clutch his side, the same place he had clutched after he fell to the floor with Alice on top of him.

"You...You...You can't do that. If someone calls the police, you're screwed. Who ever wants you, will find you. That's not even a half baked attempt of trying to escape the city quietly in the middle of the night. That's suicide. You don't know what they want you for, Isabella." He ranted off and all I could do was pull further and further into the back of the couch.

"What were you even thinking? You are wearing pyjamas and have bare feet. Did you think you could just go out into the street like that? Are you really that stupid? You didn't think that would draw attention?" he still paced and he still never looked at me.

"I need out. I have a life you know." I argued back.

"Well so did I, now I don't. Get used to it." He snapped at me, finally turning to face me.

Instinctively I took my chance to glare at his scars again and as I did, he turned away from me.

"I don't want to get use to it." I fought.

"I don't care. I don't care what you want. Your dad wants you here, so you stay here. You don't have to like me, but just...just do this for your dad." He sighed hard. "He just wants you safe. Be happy with that." His tone seemed a little mournful and it caught me off guard. I didn't know what to think of it.

"I..I wanted to get something to eat. And I just took the chance..." I panicked out.

_What was I panicking for? _

"Well don't do it again." He sighed again. "But I am glad your eating again. I'll make you something better than those shit waffles Alice gave you earlier though." He turned to look at me again and before I even had a chance to react, he had nodded for me to follow him to the kitchen and headed through in front of me.

Walking behind him I tried to protest. I didn't wan him to make me anything. I didn't want him doing anything for me. "It's fine, you know. I can make a sandwich." I bit a little sarcastically.

As we reached the kitchen he turns and faces me. "A sandwich?" He asked completely gob smacked.

_What had I said?_

"See, that's what your doing wrong. You need lots of protein to work out. Its the best thing for it and keeps you in shape. I suppose if your short on time, have a protein bar, but its better to get a proper meal into you for working out later on." He carried on.

_Protein bar?_

_Working out?_

_What?_

I didn't do work outs. I couldn't, I had no coordination to manage it.

"But...I don't work out..." I broke it to him gently. It seemed to be the only relatively normal conversation we had had so far.

He looked at me. "You're another Alice, aren't you?" He asked, rhetorically, I think.

_What exactly was Alice?_

"What are you talking about?" I asked. I was sure he was having his own little conversation to himself. I didn't know what was going on.

"Keeping in shape." He told me as if I was simple.

Suddenly I felt awfully self-conscious.

I wrapped my arms around myself, for being out of shape. It was obviously something that Edward thought was important.

"I mean, your in good shape...I just meant for the future." He backtracked.

"And you know what I'll look like in the future?" I frowned at him, confused.

"Out of shape, perhaps over weight...I don't know..." He sighed, "But don't you want to be perfect?"

_That was it._

_Perfect. _

There was something deep inside of me ringing an alarm bell to back away.

_He wanted perfection._

"Just exactly what kind of doctor are you?" I had an idea, but I just needed back up.

"What does that matter?" He snapped. "Anyway, I wont be practising again." The look on his face told me to drop it, but I wasn't going too.

"Won't or can't?" I snapped back.

"Watch your mouth. Your under my roof, now." The anger poured out of his eyes at the sensitive topic.

"What kind of doctor are you?" I asked again.

His jaw set tight and his eyes glowered at me. The vein on his forehead looked like it was going to explode.

"I'm _not_ a doctor." He protested.

"Yes you are. Jasper told me you were. Tell me now." I was not letting this go. I knew the answer but I needed him to say it.

Something was seriously amiss with this man and I needed an indication.

_Perfect._

_No one is fucking perfect._

Its a false ideal. The same as world peace. It's just never going to happen.

"No." He screamed, his breathing building up, but it wasn't anger. It seemed like panic.

"Yes." I screamed back as I pushed forward into his space and in his state, he stumbled back and backed into the refrigerator.

He was like a cornered cat.

_You know what they say about cornering a cat?_

Before I could say or do anything else, I found myself being tossed across the kitchen as Edward raced into oblivion.

He hadn't hit me, or even tried to strike me. He had merely pushed me out of his way, but with his strength and his panicking, he had sent me flying and I landed on the kitchen floor with a hard smack.

* * *

I didn't eat.

I couldn't eat.

I was sacred for myself, of what the beast could really do to me.

I was a rag doll to him. Soft and no substance.

When I had got back to my room, I had crawled under the covers and prayed that he wouldn't come for me. That he would let me be.

I was still under the duvet and I was still in Alice's makeshift pyjamas. And I still hadn't showered.

"Isabella, Isabella." Alice's voice called out in panic as I heard her thundering up the stairs and burst into my room.

_Was it so late already?_

How long had I been hiding under the duvet for?

Rushing to my bedside she scanned me over, assessing me. "Are you all right? Edward told me what happened." Her hand swiped at my forehead gently as she wiped away strands of hair.

"I...I'm fine. I think..." I stuttered out in a hushed mumble. Was I fine? I didn't feel fine.

This was who my dad had trusted. What was he thinking?

"I knew I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have kept him away from you." She groaned. "I should have kept him away from you."

Shuffling up in the covers I looked at her. "Does Edward have issues?"

She only laughed. "You have no idea, Isabella. The boy is a mess. He's not fit to look after you. He's not fit to look after himself right now."

"Then why is he? He was going on about food earlier. Does he have an eating disorder or something?" I felt so confused.

"No...we'll I don't know... Maybe they have some name for it. It's just him. He's always been that way."

"What about his job? Is he a plastic surgeon?" I took my stab in the dark at that one, though really, there was a big glow in dark target on that one.

"Yes. But he doesn't like to talk about it. It would be wise not to press him on it either."

I nodded in agreement, his actions today telling me exactly not to try broaching the subject again.

"Alice, what happened to his face?" I was begging her here. I needed to know.

She shook her head, refusing me. "I cant tell you that. And I suggest you don't ask him about it either. He doesn't want to talk about it any more."

"But my dad knows?" I asked half suspecting that whatever had happened was some kind of attack, an attack that the police would be informed about.

She only shrugged her shoulders and sighed again. "I'm sorry I can't tell you any more than that. But I want you to know he's sorry. I know you might not want to hear that, but he asked me to tell you he was sorry." She rubbed at her forehead in frustration. "He's an ass. I know he is. He's a selfish prick and he's not deserving of your forgiveness. He should tell you these things in this whole messed up situation... You deserve to know who your living with. But..." She stared off into space. "But he's just never going to open up on that. I'm sorry."

I felt so confused and lost. So so lost.

Will I always be in the dark? Is this my life for the next week or however long it takes until I can go home?

"Look at you. You're still in bed." her tone only ever caring, never patronizing. "Do you want me to run you a bath and make you some food? You must be starving."

I felt like some lost child. Some scared lost child and Alice was trying to sate me with kindness.

I nodded meekly, accepting her offer and tried to forget about my afternoon with Edward.

* * *

_**Please let me know what you think so far. **_

_**UD tomorrow!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Told you i'd be back - I was jsut too tired to get this up last night.**_

_**A shout out to Ooza for this one - she beta'd it for me and gave me a proper English/American lesson at the same time lol**_

_**Thank you - You should really work at my old hight school ;)**_

**

* * *

**

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 4**

_**EPOV**_

_The perfect female is a higher type of human being than the perfect male: and also something so much more rare._ - Friedrich Nietzsche

It had been three days since the incident in the kitchen and three days since I had seen Isabella.

I hated myself for losing control like I had, but I hated myself more for ever scaring her, for putting her in that situation in the first place.

Reality hadn't completely left me; I knew it wasn't fair to try to hold her like I was, but at the same time it simply wasn't safe for her to go out, public.

In here she was safe. No one knew of any connection we had, and no one would have even expected anyone to be living here – even me.

But that day, she pushed and she pushed and I knew what she was asking. My own self vanity had escaped my lip's and I had transpired my thoughts and ways - old ways - of living, onto her.

She goaded, me looking for me to say it, to show my self-worth and shallowness to her, my unsavoury need to be better than all the rest.

That was gone now and any possible chance to be the vision of myself, that I aimed for. Fate had stepped in and taken that away from me. My penance for becoming too conceited.

The odd sense of alienation took over my life as I disappeared into the stratosphere, but it wasn't my vanity I missed. Not the sense of being wanted by my girlfriend. Not even the sense of being wanted by my own father. What I missed was the man I was. The man that was in demand.

When Isabella confronted me and pushed for an answer, I could tell she thought she knew everything about me. In her world any confirmation of superlativeness on my side would only equate to one thing. My shallow thoughts on myself, the world, and her belief that my thoughts reflected on to her.

I panicked. Blinded with the look in her eyes and the hatred of her de-restitution and having to be anywhere near me.

_And then I just swiped her. _Straight out of my line of sight and firing thought my peripheral as she landed on the floor.

Standing in my room, I had no real recollection of my journey after I had left her in the kitchen.

I didn't even go and see how she was.

I was panicking and my shallow breath caught in my lungs, forcing everything else in to the abyss.

Slowly my breathing calmed, but by that point I was no less than a shrivelling ball on the stairs leading to the ground floor of the house, from my bedroom.

Each climb of the stairs was made on my knees, my hands gripping at the soft Persian cream carpet that ran the length of the staircase.

Jasper and Alice found me. Alice knew exactly that I had done Isabella wrong.

She never spoke to me, but Jasper did. He came down onto his knees to sit beside me on my spot at the top of the stairs. He asked what happened, and I struggled to get the words out.

I gasped for air, once again stuttering that I panicked. Then Alice fled to the other staircase that led to Isabella.

The look of dread had filled Alice's eyes. I wondered what she thought I was capable of as she rushed to Isabella's side so swiftly.

I had been wrong, and I knew it. But I still couldn't stop it.

The mental image of Isabella passing through the air was something that had haunted me for the past three nights. It was all I could dream about.

_Isabella._

She had been all I had thought about and now I was throwing her around like a rag-doll.

I was the one that was supposed to protect her.

Maybe she was right. Maybe she should just leave town.

I was capable of arranging that, to see that she got away safe.

But I didn't want that. I wanted her here.

The looks and moves and sounds she made around me - I had never seen her act like that before. Before she was happy. Before she was safe. And before...before she never had to look at me.

_I terrorized her._

Not by holding her here, not by the way I spoke to her, but the simple fact of how I looked.

Her curiosity was killing her. She was trying desperately to put the pieces together and find out what was going on in my mind and what had happen to me.

My verbalization of what happened would put at her at ease. _I was attacked._

But the reasoning behind it...I don't think she could be capable of looking past that. Seeing the real monster.

I sat at the kitchen island eating my breakfast of oatmeal, an egg white omelette, and a fruit salad. It was a good way to start the day.

I had to get back to my normal routine.

Why should it matter if Isabella were to stay ? Our worlds were separate and they always would be.

I let my thumbs tap to the rhythm of the music that passed to my ears from the ear buds of my MP3 player as I ate. I needed to proceed with my life how it was before I had to rescue her that night.

I could go back to the world I was in.

It was dark and it was lonely. In that world I still had Isabella but I knew now I couldn't go on living the way I had, I needed to step back and leave this place.

I was suffocating in my town house that I had all to myself.

It was done. When Isabella was to leave here, so would I.

A shadow cast upon my plate and I jumped up with fright as I looked up to find Isabella standing before me.

I looked away from her and carefully hid my face with my hood. "Next time make some noise." I snapped at her a little harsher than I had intended as I pulled out my ear buds. It was my own fault really, but I had just reacted to the fright. I didn't like people creeping up behind me. Alice would lay testimony to that one.

"Sorry," She mumbled so quietly as she looked down to her nervous hands

I shrugged as I looked back down to my breakfast before I looked back up at her. I felt oddly nervous myself. But then again, that sensation always plagued me when I was in the presence of Isabella.

Her eyes darted to my plates and bowl as she studied my breakfast. I could see her frown as she no doubt paid attention to the selection I had. After all, it was food that had begun the short argument only three days ago.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I should never have done that. I know you hate me but..." I shrugged the end of my sentence, lost for words. There were no words to condone what I had done. _None at all._

"I don't hate you," she gasped. She frowned again, and I could see the small creases form on her soft skin. "I shouldn't have acted like I did. It's none of my business. You are being kind to let me stay here. I still don't think it's right...but let's just try to weather the storm, okay?" Her words were firm and a little curt, but it was an improvement. "I mean, we went three days without seeing one another. We might not need to see each other again until I leave," she said flippantly.

_How come those words felt like such a sharp kick in the gut?_

"I only came down because I heard you in here." She shrugged. "All I want is my backpack."

_She was only speaking to me to get her bag back?_

I suppose I couldn't be surprised. But I could be disappointed.

I toed her backpack at my feet silently, remembering that I was going to give it to her. But now she could wait.

"I have to take a few things out of it, but I'll get it to you later," I informed her sharply.

Her face dropped. "You don't need to take anything out of it. It's my bag; They're my things. Give them back," she all but shouted.

"I can't have you contacting the outside so I'll be keeping your laptop and cell until you go home." I looked back to my oatmeal as I spooned a mouthful to myself and kept my eyes away from Isabella's.

"I need that stuff," she argued through gritted teeth, tears threatening to spill as I looked back up at her. She didn't look as strong as I thought she was. She was folding quickly. "My life is balancing right now with phone calls and emails. I need to get a hold of people. I need my life back."

"You have your life. If it wasn't for me, you might not even be breathing. Don't give me shit that you are so fucking important. You're nothing." The words vomited out of my mouth at her own self-importance.

She was young. Too young to see that the world didn't revolve around her. She was just another piece in the fitting. Replaceable.

She looked at me, totally dumbstruck at my words. "Do you really think that if something were to happen to you that the world would change? Granted your dad would be upset, and he is the only reason I have you here, but the world wouldn't change. Nothing would alter. Someone would just come along and take your place. Those email and calls...do you think no one else is capable of making them? That if you were to vanish, no one else could take them?"

Her eyes glazed and filled as she tried to keep her look directed at me.

"Isabella, you are so insignificant. Do you not think that they could just hire some other girl to wait on tables at Marcelo's? It's not hard. If you're gone, all we'll do is forget." Though I said it, the thought didn't seem realistic. Would I just forget about her when she left?

She gasped for air in two short bursts as she tried to compose herself. Her tears fled the scene of her eyes and made their escape along the porcelain on her cheeks, dripping onto her designer top that Alice bought for her.

_Then she was gone._ She fled the kitchen just like I had on our last encounter.

Our worlds were separate, and any disillusioned idea that Isabella was something exquisite was gone at the sight of her own insolence for herself.

Maybe we weren't so different after all.

* * *

"You are a total prick, Edward. The shittiest prick," Alice spat at me as she loaded up the dishwasher. "She was actually beginning to come out of her shell, you know?" Her violet eyes beaming with anger from over her shoulder.

"Alice..." Jasper tried his usual feeble attempt to silence her.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" she asked as she stood up to face me and placing a hand on her waist.

"I'm thinking that you obviously have such low intellect with the amount of swearing you do. Obviously you have a low level of word ability...Except when it comes to accessories," I dig at her smugly.

"Edward, piss off. I really don't give a shit what you think of me or my vocabulary or the fact that I was able to put a roof over my head without any of my daddy's I give a shit about is the girl that is in tears upstairs." I tried to ignore the daddy jibe. She sighed and turned away to look at Jasper. She was trying him, to get me to listen.

He just stood there, gormless as usual when it came to Alice. And it was her that said _I _was the one that could work him...

"I'll speak to her later," Jasper finally told us as he tried not to get involved on my side or Alice's. He was staying neutral. _Fucking Switzerland, all the time._

"Grow a dick, man," I shouted at him. "Just tell her I'm right. I can keep what I want of hers. I'm in charge of her. Her dad told me to watch her." I was embellishing to say the least, but I still could never admit that I had offered to take her in.

Jaspers head snapped in my direction with his eyes narrowing in on me. "What is it that's got you like this? Look at you. It was this arrogant façade that got you into trouble in the first place." He looked away disgusted. I felt like he stabbed me and I was now deflating.

Had my arrogance reared again at the prospects of being challenged by Isabella?

Alice only quirked her brow at me and the obvious blow I had been given, even if I was hiding it.

"You tell me to grow a dick, but here you are giving abuse to some girl. So what if she feels like her life is balanced in calls right now? Your whole life was balancing on your stinking attitude and look what happened. She wants out of here and I don't blame her. So. Do. I," he shouted at me.

"If that's the way you want it, then go. You have your own apartment," I reminded him sharply.

_What the hell was I saying__?_

I was giving my best friend hell because of Isabella.

I was still confused about the whole incident, to be honest. All she had wanted was her bag, and I had shouted at her telling her she would never be missed.

_That was a lie__._

The mere prospect of Isabella leaving made me miss her already. I wanted her here, but at her sharp tone, I went for her. Straight for the carotid artery, draining her of all the blood to her head. Draining her of that sweet blush on her cheeks.

_I was a fuckwit._

What got to me most was that she _was _wanted. People wanted to speak to her. Jasper and Alice were beyond fed up with me and how I had been living, but they had put up with me. And the thought of Isabella leaving here and never thinking about me again - It pissed me off.

I was a hindrance. Her being here was a hindrance to herself. Her life had stopped because I was trying to keep her here. She didn't want that. She wanted to take whatever, whoever, on, and I couldn't do that knowing she might be the only thing in my life worth observing that could disappear.

Alice nodded firmly. "Yes. Jasper lets go," she told him seriously. Was she just going to pull him away from me? Was she just going to leave Isabella here with me? "Bella can come with us. We have an underground parking lot at our place and if we wait until its dark we can sneak her out of here." _Bella?_ Christ, she had it all planned out..._Bella?_

She had just called her Bella. Were they on friendly terms? Friendly enough terms that she would go with Alice?

"Bella?" It was the only word that I could actually verbally process.

Alice's eyes snapped to mine. "Yes. She can stay with us." She shrugged so damn nonchalantly like she always did. Nothing was ever an issue with Alice. Well, myself being the only exception.

_Bella._

Did she ask to be called that? And why was that the only thought that would process in my mind right now? _Think, Cullen, think._

I shook the thought out of my head. "You can't take her. There is no space for her," I told her flatly, knowing that there was if they really wanted her there.

Jasper's eyes narrowed on me. "I've never heard you complain when you crashed with us when Tanya was kicking you out."

My jaw set at the mention of that name. Tanya Denali was a name I would care to forget about.

I ignored the jab. "Besides, her dad trusts me. He doesn't know you."

"I think Bella would be more comfortable with us." Alice told me a little too matter-of-factly.

"Why do you insist on calling her Bella all of a sudden?" I asked, completely changing the direction of the conversation.

Alice looked amused. She folded her arms as she looked at me curiously. "Because she asked me to. All of her friends call her Bella." I wasn't able to ignore her tone as she referred to Bella's friends, indicating that she was somehow one and I wasn't.

I pulled on my hair in frustration, my hood slipping down.

Alice's eyes landed on my head, inspecting the damage. "Daddy still hasn't fixed that up for you yet?" she tutted and gave out a small low whistle. "You must have really pissed him off."

I could only glare at her. How dare she talk about things she never knew or could understand. I was never going to look normal again. Even with Carlisle's experience.

I ignored her again.

"You are not taking Isabella. You two can leave if you want, but she stays here."

With that, I left them standing in the kitchen.

I knew that Jasper would never leave me, especially on bad terms like that. He just wasn't that guy.

I was – he wasn't.

Getting back to my room, I looked at the backpack that had caused the upset between us all. I knew it was my own fault. I should have just given her the damn thing, but something in her cold tone made me want to lash out at her.

I paced my bedroom before deciding to go on a run. Because I wasn't going outside, I changed into track pants, quickly connecting myself to my mp3 player and stepped onto the treadmill. Pressing the buttons, the belt began to move, and I quickly gathered speed until I was running at full throttle.

I missed the real air of the city when I did this. The faint hum of the city trying to sneak past the sound of my music as I went. No one seemed to pay attention to me, but now I feared all eyes would land on me as I zipped over the pavement.

I ran and ran. I didn't know if something was chasing me or if I was just simply trying to run away.

What a hell hole of an existence this was if all I would ever run on would be the treadmill.

My feet pounded the frame, and I was sure it was ready to shatter. My heavy steps landed on the belt one after the other. _Constant._

My legs began to burn, and noticing that I had been on it for almost half an hour, I slowed down to walk, then stopped.

I caught my breath. I was finally getting fitter again and regaining my strength after being bed ridden for weeks.

I stretched out my muscles, and I was desperate for a shower to get rid of my perspiration. I hated to feel dirty.

Letting the hot water soak me, I scrubbed at my skin all over, careful of my wounds as I went. They were pretty much healed. I was lucky. I knew that. But it still did nothing for how they made me look, how they made me feel.

I dried myself off and stepped out of my en suite with my towel wrapped around me, to be met with two startled eyes. Brown eyes.

_Isabella_

_Bella_

_Whoever._

"I...I...I..." She stumbled as she looked at my chest. I would love to say she was admiring my definition but, even I couldn't be that shallow to see what she was really looking at.

But what the hell was she doing in here? This was my room.

"Get out,." I growled at her trying to hold on to my towel.

Her eyes finally snapped up to mine. "I said get out," I yapped at her again. She had well and truly crossed the line.

She quickly caught her words though. "I..I..wanted my backpack," she finally told me as she held on to the thing.

I lunged forward at her and with my free hand I grabbed hold of the other strap on the bag. "No. I'll give it to you later."

"Walk on. This is my bag and I'll take it when I want." She tugged at the materiel and pulled sharply, almost dislocating my shoulder at the same time. _Christ she was tough._

"Isabella, I swear to god..." I warned her. She would not win this one. She should take heed of my warnings now.

She let the bag strap fall and the weight of the laptop in the bag made it thud off of the floor. I was sure not enough to actually damage it though.

"You swear to god, what?" She squared up to me, looking me in the eyes. "What are you going to do, Edward? Hit me again?" This was a nasty piece of work. She looked so menacing as she glared at me. She wasn't scared of me at all.

She saw just how frail I still was and now I had nothing over her.

The time seemed to stand still as we looked between one another. The other daring to say something.

"I never hit you," I told her, sure of myself. "I...I...I..." God, now it was me who was stumbling on my words. "I panicked. I pushed you out of the way and I know that was wrong, but I never hit you."

She sighed and looked away from me, knowing I was right. She chewed on her bottom lip, and I felt myself being drawn to them, like I always had. She folded her arms before eventually looking back up at me, but not before her eyes lingered on my chest once more.

"I just wanted my stuff back. That was all." Her voice was soft and sweet and any reason for raised voices seemed to be gone. Why would I ever shout at her? Why would I ever treat her so wrongly?

I nodded at her words, but I still held the bag in my hand and never offered it to her.

Hey eyes still bore into mine but calmness flooded the room like opening gates on a canal.

We were quiet. Our breathing calmed from our heated words as our eyes continued to linger. Isabella in the clothes that I had asked Alice to help her buy online and me in the towel that hung around my waist. I was still exposed though. My modesty was covered, but that was all.

Isabella finally found her voice. "What happened to you?" Her eyes danced across my chest before meeting mine once again.

Standing there, I was exposed. My secret was coming out. I was still weak.

"I was stabbed." My own voice caught in my throat, and it sounded horse as I finally said the words out loud. It sounded like I was upset. I was upset. Someone had took my life into their own hands and thought that they could play about with it.

Isabella gasped, and as she did, she cupped her mouth with her hands, her body bending forward as if someone had struck her in the stomach. Her eyes shone with tears of no real sympathy, but tears of fear and pain that she could only no doubt imagine.

Her eyes continued to flicker from my chest to my eyes as she tried to take it in.

It wasn't just some story she was reading in the newspaper. The cut along my pectoral matched the lines along my face. Pink with stitch marks.

They were healing. I was healing. But my life was another matter now.

She straightened up a little and looked at me with those two eyes that I could never forget. Charlie's eyes. They were the exact same, and though Charlie had been the one to save my life, Isabella was the one to actually force the life back through my veins when I saved her.

It wasn't coincidence that I was there when they attempted to take her. It was fate.

"I'm so sorry." she told me sincerely.

"Don't be. It was deserved." My voice was still horse, and as she reached out to touch me, I took a step back, away from her hand.

She flinched at my movement. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking..." She blushed as she tried to hide her face in a panic. She shook her head firmly as she made eye contact with me once again. "But you never deserved this. No one do-"

"I did," I interrupted her sharply. She knew nothing of the incident and nothing of my past.

She shook her head again. "No...No. I can't believe you did. You're helping me. You're keeping me safe..." she trailed off.

I shook my head. "No, I owe it to your father. I'm doing it for him. He saved me...I helped you." I shrugged.

She looked up at me, completely perplexed. "But how did you know where I was or who I was? It wasn't just coincidence, was it?"

I shook my head at her. "Northing's coincidence."

She chewed deep down onto her lip again as she thought through my words. She was beginning to see that I was, in fact, her very own stalker.

"You followed me?" she asked, stunned as it dawned on her just exactly what I had been doing. "For how long?"

Did I want to lie and make it not sound as bad as it really was? Yes. But it probably wasn't the best idea.

I took a deep breath and let it fill my lungs as I prepared for her rant that would no doubt follow. "F-four weeks."

Her mouth dropped, her eyes set wide. She was silenced. Hell, she wasn't even blinking.

"F...four weeks?." she gasped as she took a seat on my bed. "W...w...why? How? What possessed you to do that? Are you mad?" I let her take in her thoughts as she rubbed at her forehead with the heels of her hands.

She turned to face me, and as she did, she shifted along a place on the bed. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Do you have, like, a doctor?" she asked seriously.

I frowned at her gentle way of asking if I was in anyway certifiable. _I wasn't._

"No. Listen to me. I spent a lot of time with your dad. We would talk...he tried to keep me calm after I had a knife pulled out of me, Isabella."

This wasn't the conversation to have in this state. I wasn't even wearing any clothes.

I sighed for everything that had went so wrong when all I had tried to do was the right thing. "Can you give me a second until I get some jeans on?" I asked gently.

She nodded but made no attempt to move from my bed, so I grabbed a few things and headed to my bathroom to dress.

I felt like she had cut me deeper than that knife had. I felt like I had been gutted.

I wasn't use to this world. I never really spoke to anyone about anything. Jasper was my best friend and I even struggled with him. The only other person to make me feel vulnerable as Isabella did, was Charlie. And my own father, of course, but that was for all the wrong reasons.

I dressed quickly and walked out to find a still shell-shocked Isabella.

Her eyes glanced up to my chest, to the spot of where my scar was. Though it was covered now, she couldn't take her eyes off of me.

I didn't pay her any attention or say anything. I had poured a bucket of cold water over her and she was trying to catch her breath.

Sitting down on the bed, I took a seat next to her once again. I rubbed at my damp hair, making it stick down to my scalp a little more.

She noticed this and then she noticed the other scars that I had tried to keep so well hidden. She gasped again as she looked at my head and my face consecutively, looking for me to confirm the visible injury.

I wasn't going to. She could see that the scars didn't only exist on my face and chest.

At that she burst into tears. Her face collapsing into her lap as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

I didn't know what to do or say. I was upsetting her, and it was because of how I looked.

When Tanya was upset with me, it was usually because I had pissed her off. She would kick me out of _my_ apartment and I would have to win her back with some expensive jewelry.

I had no jewelry for Isabella. No sparkle of diamonds to make her smile. And I couldn't go out and buy her something. What would I buy her, anyway? Traditional or contemporary? A necklace or a bracelet?

Hesitantly, I gave her all I could. My hand.

I placed my palm on her back, and even though she jumped a little at my contact, she relaxed as I tried to calm her down.

"Don't cry, _piccolino_." I flushed instantly as the word came pouring out of my mouth. It was an old endearment that my mother would use for me - for me and only me.

She looked up at me with her cheeks damp and red and the look of utter confusion in her eyes.

I shrugged. "It's a word my mother would use," I told her swiftly trying to keep away from the subject.

She sat up, and I took my hand off of her and placed it in the small gap between us.

"I'm sorry...I don't know why..." She didn't complete that sentence .

She sighed and looked back up at me again.

I began once again. "Your dad was always worried about you. We spoke about you a few times and it usually revolved around him looking at his cell phone." She smiled gently obviously understanding what I was saying. "He worries about you and especially when you're working late, and when I saw you both out grocery shopping, I couldn't help but follow you both home."

I tugged at my hair as I let my eyes drop. This was not going to sound good. "I...I know that sounds does. And I never thought about following you...not until I saw you leave for work once you got home."

I laughed at the stupidity of the situation. The only time I didn't seem to know if she was actually safe was when I had to meet with her father. "I waited and watched you leave work, and I got on the bus behind you...and I've been making sure you get home safe."

Her eyes were still wide with shock. "Okay..." I sighed. "Maybe I do need a doctor." I shrugged.

At that, she laughed. "Why would you do that? For a complete stranger?" she asked with disbelief.

I sat there looking at her, her brown eyes still shining from the tears she had shed over my scars, for that sad look on her face that I had put there.

I had to be honest.

"Because when someone saves your life...you owe them everything. And you are everything to Charlie."

She nodded gently at my words, trying to fathom them.

The air was thick with tension, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was bearable but only just. I don't think I had been quite so open to anyone before.

She sat up a little more, straightening her back. "Thank you. Thank you for saving me. I won't be difficult any more."

Small smiles graced our lips.

I reached for her backpack sitting behind us on the bed. The bag that had caused so much bother. Picking it up I passed it to her. "You deserve your things." I shrugged. "They're not mine to keep. I'm sorry."

She nodded and accepted the bag. "I only wanted to make sure you weren't going to do anything to jeopardise your safety. I've had four weeks of keeping an eye on you and a pretty hard struggle of a fight with injuries to keep you safe." I laughed to show her that I didn't want her to take it too seriously, but seriously enough that she would do what was needed.

She opened her backpack and pulled out her laptop and handed me it. "You're right. Keep this..." next, she pulled out her cell phone. It was still switched off from when I had brought her here. "...and this. Theses guys," he shrugged, "whoever they are, they might have my IP address and be able to trace me here, so keep them and keep them turned off."

_IP address?_ "IP address?" I asked confused.

She laughed. "Its a number that all computes have. Every one is unique and they can trace your town and other information on them. They can gather some more information with a court order, but I'm guessing that they won't be going that route, and because you said that they had been trying to get into the police department's records, they don't care for judges."

I looked at her, still confused but getting the gist of what she was saying. If they have her IP address, that they would have been able to pick up from her home, they could trace it to here.

How was that even possible?

I didn't bother asking for any more information. I didn't really want to know what information they could have been getting from her if that were the case.

Silence fell between us as things came to a standstill.

She stood up with her bag in her hand and looked down at me. Something lingered in the air, but she never spoke.

She turned and walked to the bottom of the stairs, leaving.

I just wanted to see her face before she left me for the evening. A million things raced through my head.

"_The Outsider_? You're reading _The Outsider__?_" I asked in a rush.

She quickly turned to face me once again and nodded. "Have you read it?"

Standing up I walked over to the book case and searched for it. Bella walked up to my side as I pulled it out and passed it to her.

She looked up at me confused. "_The Stranger_?" she asked, completely thrown.

Laughing at the expression on her face, I could tell she thought I was mad. "It has two titles." I shrugged. "I don't know why. I think it's based on who translated it."

She nodded, "That makes sense.". It was originally written in French.

"Have you read it before?" I asked. I must have read it at least five times so far.

She shook her head as she looked at the book in her hands. The cover was different from the version she had in her backpack.

"Did it confuse you as much as it's confusing me?" she asked a little warily.

I had to laugh – I sat and read half of the book understanding nothing. The ending was everything.

"Keep reading. It's worth it. I saw you got to part two; chapter four." She nodded silently as she thumbed the spine, her eyes on the book.

"_...for the first time in years I had the stupid urge to cry, because I could feel how much all those people hated me." _I recited from the book. It was a powerful thought given the situation we were in.

Bella looked up at me and her eyes began to well up again. "I read that only a few hours before you saved me. But why would you say that?" Her tone was caring, but it was tinged with a little curtness, too. "No one hates you."

I broke my eyes away from hers and looked down at the floor. I could only shrug. "But you don't know the stranger yet." I was still the stranger to her.

She looked up at me, knowing that I was right. She didn't know me. She didn't know me at all.

She didn't say a word as she slowly made her way to the bottom of the staircase once again.

"Goodnight, Isabella," I cried out as her foot landed on the first step.

She stopped and turned to look up at me. "Bella... My friends call me Bella." She gave a small smile and I wondered if she had read my mind or if she had heard my argument with Alice. "Goodnight, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded. " See you tomorrow, Bella."

* * *

**_Please let me know what you think so far, and leave a little review. Thank you._**


	5. Chapter 5

_**a/n: Sorry for delay – holidays – you know how it goes! Glad to be back to normal!**_

_**Issues with second half of this chappy so its my terrible beta'n**_

_**

* * *

**_

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 5**

_**BPOV**_

The day had almost passed, and I was still yet to come across Edward.

After last night, I didn't know where I stood with him. There was some kind of silent agreement, some kind of unilateral understanding.

To hear that he had been following me for the past four weeks was creepy but kind of caring at the same time. I mean, he didn't have to do it. But he had. _For Charlie_.

All the information he had told me, and all that I had seen, was just too much. At first, he chock of it seemed managabe, but once I left him for the evening, I found my mind reeling trying to understand it all.

There was still so much missing.

What I knew was that he had been assaulted.

He had been stabbed. The two inch wide wound that sat above his heart showed me that. The scars on his face showed me that. And his damp short hair, parting, showed me that.

When he came back, dressed, and sat down beside me on the bed, it was the first time I noticed the cut along his head. It seemed like the hair on top of his head had been trimmed, as longer hair covered the sides.

I scrunched up my eyes, taking in all the images.

He said he deserved them.

_No one deserved that. No one at all._

I didn't care about what he said, because I knew that no matter how wrong someone might have treated someone else in life, no one deserved to be injured like that. _No one._

He had a stab wound above his heart for crying out loud.

Something that he was right about was that he was a stranger. I didn't know him, and it was that thought that had kept me in my room.

I was still nervous around him. He could get angry, and that scared me. He could send me flying off of my feet, so of course that scared me. But I wasn't afraid of him. Not really. Not any more.

He had stood there in his towel, and when I asked my questions, he gave them. I never got the answerers I expected or wanted to hear, but still answerers none the less.

_He had been watching me for the last four weeks._

I couldn't get that simple fact out of my head.

He had been stalking me. It was a criminal offence. And the ironic part of it was that he did it because my dad had worried about me. The Chief of Police was worried about my safety, so an innocent bystander took it upon himself to keep me safe. _And he had._

Did my dad fear that something like this would happen? Did Charlie always expect someone to make me their target simply because he was the Chief of Police for Seattle?

Sitting on my bed, I pushed my dinner plate away from me.

I hadn't left the room all day, and Alice had been kind enough to bring dinner up to me once again. She had been relatively silent, and it was beginning to annoy me a little. I wanted her to yap away and talk nonsense and try to draw my mind away from the situation. I wanted her distraction. And I wanted her to let slip details about Edward.

_Was he really the b__east__ that I __thought he was?_

I didn't know what to do with myself and all of my time. My book sat in front of me, my last chapter waiting to be read and I felt somewhat afraid to find out the ending.

Was Edward _The Stranger? The Outsider?_

Did he kill someone? Is that was why he was stabbed?

I ignored the ridiculous thought, knowing that my dad would never have allowed me to stay with a killer, and so I picked it up and began to read the last part of my book.

It wasn't even my book. It was Edward's. The one called _The Stranger_, opposed to my copy called the _The Outsider_. I had taken it with me, caught off guard by his words when he had told me about his injuries.

Did he really think that people hated him? Did he really want to cry?

_Had he been that bad in life?_

I couldn't help feel sorry for him, to pity him. He had been scarred severely, and I couldn't ever see it getting better than what it was.

_His poor face._

Did he even want to see me? I told him I would see him today, but did he really want to have to put up with me? After all, he was only doing this for Charlie.

Charlie had saved his life. How could I have not known about this? I knew it was all a matter of confidentiality, but for him not to even mention it... I suppose that was Charlie through and through, though. He got on with his job because he loved it, not because he was looking for praise. In fact, he hated praise. He really didn't like any acknowledgement of good work at all.

But I told Edward that I would see him today. Was it a promise or just casual words in passing?

I felt that I should have done the decent thing and made conversation with him. He had saved me from god knows what and it seemed that he had no one else except Jasper and Alice. At least, no one else came to the house.

But Edward never left the house, either. Was that simply because he didn't want to leave me alone?

The questions were stupid, but I still had them.

_I needed to know everything._

My life was at a standstill, and I had no idea when it would commence.

Thinking back to the poisonous words that he spat at me - that I wasn't something special, that I was forgettable - I decided to stay in my room. I was here for Charlie, not Edward.

Did he attack me only because he could or did he really believe those things? Did he feel like he was the one forgotten?

My door swung open and Alice skipped in with a smile on her face. "Did you enjoy that?" She acknowledged my empty plate.

I nodded and smiled. "It was delicious. Thanks." But in reality, I was starving for it as I hadn't left my room all day.

"Good. I'm glad you liked it. It was Jasper's choice tonight but your choice tomorrow. Anything that you're craving?" She smiled at me. "Just tell me what and I'll try my best to not give you food poisoning." She winked.

She picked up the plate, and as she did, she sat down across from me. "Anything you want, Bella." She smiled again, using my name, Bella, instead of Isabella.

I asked her two days ago to call me Bella, as that was what everyone else called me. Then I heard the argument between her and Edward and he discussion of my name, and after everything he told me, it was all I could give to him after he had been so honest with me.

And to be honest, I was Bella; Isabella was the little girl who got told off by her mom when she was six years old. I hadn't been Isabella in a long time.

I thought about Alice's offer. What did I want to eat? She was letting me choose. It was like I was quickly adapting to their own little family. But I wasn't family, and soon I was going to be leaving and heading back to college.

Shrugging, I couldn't decide. "I don't know. What does Edward like?"

Her brow furrowed. "Never mind him, what do you like?" she pushed again. "There must be something you want. You have been here for the last five days and have eaten whatever we made you...When you decided to eat," she reminded me a little sharply.

"P-pasta. I like pasta." I mumbled. Why did my nerves react like this? I was being put on the spot but for nothing serious.

"Okay, what kind of pasta?" she asked nice and slowly.

I shrugged again. "Anything."

"Oh for god's sake, Bella. Just pick something," She chided me half-jokingly. "Jasper and I are heading to the store in a little while. We need some groceries. What else would you like? Something sweet? Something bad for you?" She smiled wickedly.

I shook my head. "I'm fine thank you. I'll most likely be gone soon."

"Well, that doesn't matter. You should have something you want to eat," she pushed yet again. Her eyes grew worried as she looked down at me. "You'll fade away if you don't."

"Surprise me." I smiled at her, trying to ease her and to take the look of concern out of her eyes.

"Okay. I will," she informed me with a little enthusiasm as she bounced back on the balls of her feet. "But what pasta do you want?"

Taking a deep breath, I answered, "Ravioli. Mushroom, please." She smiled and nodded and headed back to my bedroom door before stopping once again.

She turned to look at me and I met her eyes. "Edward told us that you went into his bedroom. I wouldn't advise it again, Bella." She sighed a little. "He's just a little funny about those things. Hopefully you will be able to go home soon and forget all about this mess."

I didn't know what to do or say. Had Edward told her what had happened in the room? That I tried to touch him? Was this her warning to stay away from him altogether?

_Ahh, so many questions. They were hurting my head._

Smiling at her, I replied, "I'll stay away from him now. I have my stuff."

She nodded silently as she quietly left the room and closed the door behind her.

* * *

Putting down my book, I suddenly knew what Edward had meant. The ending was everything.

It gripped at my heart, and suddenly I saw Edward in another light.

Did he relate to this man, Meursault?

Was this Edward's prison, his sentence?

He said he deserved what had happened to him. Was he so accepting of it because of what he had done in the past?

_But what had he done?_

I wanted to hit my head against the wall. The pieces just didn't fit. Charlie would never have let me stay with someone evil or bad. He would never have let me stay with someone he couldn't trust. _No matter how dire the situation._

Charlie trusted Edward. Charlie trusted Edward with me.

Edward couldn't have done any wrong in Charlie's eyes for me to be here.

I wanted to cry for the man in the book and the man downstairs.

Both of who seemed so unfairly punished by their actions.

He believed everyone hates him. How could he think that?

I wanted to scream with the sheer frustration I felt with it all.

I would be home soon, and I would have no chance then to figure it all out. No way of knowing what had really happened in the first place.

It was late, but I would never sleep. The book in my hand was a solved puzzle that only led to a bigger, more complicated jigsaw that I would never have time to understand.

Trying to let my mind rest and disconnect, I reached for my MP3 player and placed the ear buds into my ears and lay back as I turned on the tunes.

Bowie played through my head as I slowly but surely felt myself relax to the random selection my MP3 player had picked out for me.

Closing my eyes, I felt a little lighter, though I still had the niggle in the back of my head.

My stomach growled. After Alice telling me of all the things she had bough for me to eat, my belly was desperate for something.

It was late and I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon so, I headed for the downstairs to hunt for something to eat and perhaps some television to distract me.

Reaching for my white cotton waffle dressing gown that had Alice had bought with Edward's credit, I wrapped myself up to lounge on the leather couch.

I left my MP3 player behind and grabbed hold of Edwards book, planning to leave his copy where he could find it.

I still hadn't seen him and the day was almost over.

Reaching the kitchen, I shyly peered through the cupboards in search of my sweet popcorn. I was frantic for it, for a real sugar fix.

I silently prayed that she had bought a bag of prepared popcorn rather than having it the sound of it cooking, echoing through the house, in the middle of the night. If that were the case, I'd have to settle for the brownies that I had been told about, instead.

Finally I found both prepared and unpopped popcorn. _Trust Alice to buy both._

Grabbing hold of the prepared stuff, I shuffled to the living room. I paused as I reached the door, realizing that Edward sat on the couch with his feet up beside him.

I didn't want to disturb him, and I really didn't think that he had heard me over the television. I turned around, heading in the direction of the bedroom I had been given. I was a little deflated that it was once again the room that I was restricted too. I was beginning to feel so isolated and… and, well, really quite alone. I wasn't part of their group and my behavior to remain on the outside of whatever they were had done nothing to help me feel comfortable in my current situation.

"I don't bite, you know." Edwards voice called out from the room, startling me.

Jumping, my head whipped back around in Edward's direction.

_What did I do now?_

Stumbling, I didn't know what way to pull myself. Should I go back to the room I had been given, the same four walls, as nice as they were, or did I bite the bullet and be decent to the man that might just possibly have saved my life?

Even I rolled my eyes at that one. How could I be so callous to not go to him, after all he had done for me?

"Bella?" he called my name but was a little unsure, as if he really had thought it had been me but was now questioning if anyone were really there at all... or that I had ran away from him.

Walking into the room, I mumbled nervously,. "I-I was just getting something too eat." The words sounded flat, disappearing into the room that was lit up by the huge flat screen that rested against the wall. _Talk about flash..._

He turned to face me. The light from the television passed through his hair, making it look black in contrast. He definitely had it cut. The top was much shorter than the sides. He looked like the scientist out of _Back to the Future_ with the black profile.

"That's no problem. Do you want to join me?" He asked, sounding as nervous as I felt. He gently patted the other side of the huge couch. I could sit next to him and still be a foot away. It was a huge, deep couch that looked more like bed. Despite the beast on the other side, it was pretty damn inviting

I mentally chided myself for my internal name calling. It was wrong of me. Who wouldn't have a complex when they looked like that, especially at the hands of someone else?

I gave a small smile and held my bag of popcorn close to me as if it could protect me from any attitude from Edward.

He was trying. I needed to be a little more forgiving of his past mistakes. It was me who had went at him, after all.

Rounding the couch, I sat down alongside him. I tried to keep the smile plastered on my face, trying to hide my nervousness.

Trying to be nice, I offered him some of my popcorn. "Do you want some?" I asked as I waved the still unopened bag in front of him.

He looked at the bag with some repulsion before looking at me and speaking. "I'm okay, thanks." His tone had an edge. It was as if he thought I was stupid.

I felt myself shrink about two feet from his look alone, never mind his words or tone.

Why did this man struggle to be nice? I had only asked him a simple question.

I nodded. "Right. I forget that you don't eat." My own tone and words slipped out of my mouth before I had time to stop them.

_Maybe I was that stupid after all_.

Instantly, his head snapped up in my direction. "What did you just say?" he asked totally shocked.

_Damn it._

"I mean, you're careful with what you eat..." I shrugged and passed it off as a misunderstood comment. But it wasn't and he knew it.

"No, you didn't. You said I don't eat. I do eat. just not the crap that you like to fill yourself up on." His words were full of disgust. He reached for his hood and pulled it above his head, hiding from me as much as he could.

I didn't know what to do. I had crossed the line this time and had been called out on it.

I slouched back into the seat and curled my legs below me. Theonly sound that passed between us was from the TV.

Swallowing hard, I tossed the bag of popcorn to the side, suddenly feeling really off it.

This was meant to be a break from my room, my prison. This felt a lot more suffocating than my room.

"Eat your popcorn, Bella," he told me with a sigh, as he quickly flipped through the channels of the television.

"I don't really want it." I shrugged, but he couldn't see me. His eyes were fixed on the screen in front of us.

"Eat it. You took it out of the cupboard so that you could have it. Ignore me." His tone was a little softer this time and it made the tension in the room drop a little.

"Really, I don't need it,." I argued gently. I tried not to get to dizzy as he continued with the remote control.

He turned to me. "What? You think your fat?" He sniggered a little.

My head dipped down and I chewed on my lip. I knew why he didn't eat popcorn, and it wasn't because it would make him fat.

"N -no - I mean, I know I'm not fat, but I'm not perfect either..." The words whispered out and trailed off. I suddenly felt reallyself-conscious again.

I turned my head in his direction only marginally to gage his reaction.

His eyes closed and his jaw set tight.

I swallowed hard.

_Shit._ I had done it again. I had pissed him off.

Alice had warned me not to go near his room. She pretty much had told me to stay away from him.

He sighed and opened his eyes. "You are fine just the way you are." _Fine?_ I kept quiet. "You shouldn't listen to me. Ever. I'm wrong about everything, and all I will do is give you a bad complex when there is nothing wrong with you." His voice was a little more caring and I looked up at him.

Only little specks of light from the televisions sat in his eyes, I could see nothing else. He laughed lightly. "I shouldn't be allowed to speak. My mouth only gets me into trouble."

"You should be allowed to speak your mind," I replied.

He laughed again. "That's not a good idea. My mind doesn't see things as it should, and I shouldn't be doing that if I'm only going to be nasty."

"I shouldn't be allowed to speak either." I shrugged. The room felt a whole lot lighter.

"No, you shouldn't. You're as cheeky as I am mean." He was being funny he laughed and smiled. His smile was perfect, and his laugh something like only god could have created.

I smiled up at him, my mouth mirroring his.

Maybe our awkward surroundings were making the worst out of us. I was definitely out of my comfort zone. I'm sure Edward was too, having a stranger live under his roof.

"You should open that popcorn," he told me gently, clearly trying to put it all behind us.

"It really doesn't matter. I really don't need it." I tried to argue but my brain was telling me to shut up and feed myself. I wanted sugar.

He rolled his lips. I could see him arguing with himself. "You don't need it," he confirmed. "But you want it, and why should you refuse yourself the good things in life? I didn't. I bought this huge, stupid flat screen that consequently has nothing decent to watch on it." His frown tugged at the side of his mouth and it pulled at his scar. It resembled the _Joker's _from the Batman movie _The Dark Knight._

Clearly my eyes had fixated on the spot for too long. He pulled away from me and tugged at the side of his hood, bringing it closer to his lips.

I shook my head and kept to the conversation. "No, but you didn't try to eat it. It won't all go on your ass and thighs." I shrugged.

He laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. It seemed sad. "I don't think it would taste too good, Isabella. Besides, I don't think that's a problem for you."

"But I won't be perfect." I argued honestly.

"Christ. Why did I have to say that. Listen to yourself. Do you hear what you are actually saying? You are repeating the words of someone that looks like a monster. I don't eat popcorn. Maybe you'll turn into a monster if you don't eat all your popcorn, too."

Now it was me who was laughing.

"I'm serious, Isabella. You have nothing to worry about. You are beautiful. You really shouldn't listen to narcissists like me. Really."

_Beautiful?_

I sniggered at his words and rested my elbow on the back of the seat as I got comfortable. "Do you like to sit and look at your reflection all day, too?" I asked before even realizing my words. I had been thinking about the story of the boy and his reflection in the water. How he couldn't move away from it because he thought it was so beautiful. He died staring into his own eyes.

_Shit_

When would I ever grow a brain filter? I was intelligent. I could hold myself. Why was it all slipping away around this man?

He turned to look at me, hurt written all across his face.

"Edward, I'm... I'm sorry. I never meant it to sound like that." I tried my hardest to apologize.

He nodded and returned his eyes back to the commercial that played on the television.

The room turned silent once again. Tension was palpable. I wanted to slap myself for my stupidity.

Summoning the will to talk, I tried again. "Bella," I reminded him. "You called me, Isabella. My friends call me Bella." I hoped that he could see the olive branch that I was waiving in front of his face and that he would take it.

"I'm your friend now?" he asked a little surprised.

"Well you drag me off to random places I don't know. You make me watch rubbish on the television." I nod in the direction of the screen. "And you insult me. Yeah, sounds like my friends."

A small smile ghosts his lips, and I mentally cheer that I'm able to make him smile once again. His smile really is perfect.

"I think you need new friends," he mumbled, but the smile still played on his lips.

I wanted to ask all the questions that had plagued me all day, but I didn't need to knock the atmosphere off kilter once again, tonight.

"So... has my dad said how long I need to stay here?" I tried to say the words as nonchalantly as possible.

He gave a weak half shrug. "They're still looking for the guys, but then again, they were already looking for them before they tried to get at you."

I shivered at the thought of that night and what had happened. Without Edward, I really didn't know what would have happened to me.

"I mean… you don't want me here long," I reasoned.

His eyes flitted from the screen to me. "Bella, I'm not going to put you out on the street if it's not safe. If you're still here in a couple of days, we'll start planning long term, okay?"

"Long term?" I asked, not really liking the sound of that too much. I did have a life, and it didn't involve sitting in a house like he did.

"We'll get you some more new clothes... a new laptop. Things that you need for college. I'm not right sure yet, but there is a possibility that I could get you hooked up to your college course from here. They post there lectures online these days so you wouldn't miss that part of it. Besides all first year students have it easy in the first couple of months... you will be able to catch up."

"_Months?_" I gasped. "Edward, I can't be here for that long. I'm not a freshman. I graduated in May. I'm going back for my Masters. I need to be there."

His brows furrowed forwards as he looked at me closely. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-one. How old are you?" I quipped back. Like any of this really mattered.

"Thirty." He sighed. "I never realized...your dad had never mentioned college. I'm sure we could still work our way around it, some how... I mean everyone can get one online..."

"Online? Are you serious." I wanted to weep. "Do you know how hard I worked to get this? I managed to get a grant because I worked hard. I lose that if I do it online and then I have to pay thecompany online." I was so mad. He was just so flippant about it all.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I am. But this isn't my fault. I'm just trying to keep you safe. But I can pay for you to do it online, all your course material. Everything." He promised. So damn easily. I wanted to scream.

"I don't want your charity. I want to do my work." I practically shouted.

Why was I taking this out on him? He was still only being nice to me.

"Besides do you really have enough money to pay for some girls education?" It was a rhetorical question. I wasn't expecting a response from him. But I got one.

"I know that you feel that you have been given a low blow, but it doesn't have to be that way. And yes... I do have enough money. I have enough money if you wanted to do it ten times over. Money isn't an issue."

"Well aren't you so lucky." I mumbled, hatred for the situation taking a whole new level.

"No, Bella. I'm not. Because for me, its the only thing_ I_ do have."

I turned to look at him, taken aback by his honesty.

"Do you cry?" I asked after a beat.

"What?" He asked totally surprised my by question. He shouldn't have been, it was him that had made me ask it in the first place

"Last night... you said you wanted to cry. Do you?" I knew I wanted to cry. But I wasn't admitting to it.

He turned away from me. "It was a quote th-"

"That you said. Why did you say it? I knew what you were getting at. Now tell me, do you cry?" For some reason I just felt so angry. Angry at myself and angry at the world for all it was taking away from me.

"Like I said, this isn't my fault. I brought you here to keep you safe. Leave if you really want too." I knew he wasn't serious.

But I still pushed him. "Maybe I should. Since all you do is evade my questions." I eyed him warily, waiting for something in him to go off.

"Your questions are stupid, that's why." he mumbled his response as his eyes landed on his lap, his fingers fiddling with one another.

"My question isn't stupid. It's caring. I'm asking you how you feel and you don't want to answer it. Maybe that's why all you have is money."

He looked up and his expression was completely unreadable. I had no idea if I had pushed too far this time.

"Look at my face. How do you think I feel?" His tone was cracked and it made my heart twist at being so mean to him. Who was I to ask him if he cried? "I'm sorry that this is hard on you and that you are not getting all that you want, all that you actually deserve. But you are alive, you are safe and you have no injuries. That's what I care about."

It seemed stupid now. He didn't care how I felt, why should I have cared about him?

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled out so quiet I wasn't sure if he would have even of heard me.

"I don't want you to be sorry. Just don't blame me for where you are. Trust me, I know how it feels to be stuck inside all the time."

But he wasn't He had been following me for four weeks. "You followed me. You were out. You can go out. No one is making you stay in here." He still had his freedom.

"You honestly think that I would go out there, into the outside world, without good reason?" He asked a little surprised.

"What good reason?" I asked feeling confused.

"You, Bella. I would never have gone out if it weren't for you." I was gob-smacked at that one.

"But-but you said that you followed us...If you weren't out, how did you see us?" I asked feeling smart. _He lied – he had been out._

He nodded. " I was out. I had an appointment at the hospital and I was driving back and sitting at lights when I saw you."

Of course he was. I felt so stupid and so so small.

The air between us grew cold and the tension lingered in the air, though not half as bad as it had been.

Edward moved in closer towards me and as he did, I tightened up into a little ball, afraid of what he was going to do.

Reaching past me, he grabbed hold of the bag of popcorn and I knew my faced dropped at watching him open it up.

He never looked at me, he only shrugged before speaking. "If your not going to eat it, someone might as well." At his own words, he popped a couple of pieces into his mouth and you could practically see him wince as he did it. No doubt his mind telling him he wouldn't be perfect.

_I actually hated that word now._

"What about you special diet? You wont be perfect..." I asked with irony and malice ringing through my tone.

He turned to face me and looked me deep in he eye. "Do I look like I'll ever be perfect?" His tone was haunting and it made a small lump form in my throat.

_Now I really hated that word. I hated it with a passion._

This man seemed so lost with that thought. It almost seemed as if he wasn't good enough, because of his scars.

I dropped my head and reached into the bag at the bag of popcorn. Our hands briefly brushed past one another's and I jumped back at the intensity of his touch. It felt like I had been electrocuted.

At my action though, he only seemed to tense up. His body became ridged and he shifted in his seat, pulling away from me slightly. He was closing himself off to me.

I popped the two pieces of popcorn that I had managed to grab hold of into my mouth. "Maybe we can be imperfect together." I shrugged trying to lighten the tone.

* * *

Yawning, I messed around in the kitchen in my dressing gown trying to get the toaster to pop the toast out. It was burning. I could smell it and I prayed that I got it out in time before it burst into a ball of flames.

At my thoughts, the smoke alarm started piercing my ears, warning us of fire. There wasn't quite a fire yet, but soon there would be if I never got the damn toast out.

Panicking, I reached for the knife that I had got out to spread my marmalade with and reached into the toaster intent to get the black mass out.

"No." Edward screamed behind me. He rushed behind me, grabbing my now empty hand, as the knife slipped from my grip and landed off of my big toe. "Are you trying to kill yourself." He asked a little exasperated.

I ignored him as I paid attention to my foot.

Of course it hurt like hell and I in turn, jumped and grabbed my foot, all while the toaster began to waft out clouds of smoke and the alarm continued to warn us of our no-show fire – as of yet, at least.

"It's stuck. I've tried everything." I motioned to the toaster, feeling completely ridiculous that I was in such a panic and haste.

But it was only because I didn't want this scene.

Ground between Edward and I was still touch and go to say the least – despite the bag of popcorn between us.

Edward smacked the side of the toaster hard with his fist and at his motions, two completely charcoal slices of toast popped out of the machine.

_Why didn't I try that?_

He turned to me in his black t-shirt and flannel pyjama bottoms and rose an eyebrow as if to tell me it was just _so_ easy.

_Good for him._

Sitting down at the island I gathered my nerves as Edward reached up to the ceiling, and managing without too much bother to open up the smoke alarm and pull out the battery. Silence then filling the room.

"Sorry..." I mumbled out feeling like a total idiot.

He only laughed lightly. "Don't worry about it, Jasper did the same thing two weeks ago." I nodded in response. "Expensive as hell and it doesn't even work... I should get the warranty looked out." he mumbled more to himself I think as he eyed up my burnt toast.

"It's fine." I mumbled back, still a little shell-shocked. "I'll have cereal or something..." I waved off.

He looked over at me. "We could toast it the old fashion way... under the grill?" He smiled smugly at me. "Or I could make you something else."

I smiled at him, for being so nice. "Its fine. Really. I can't be bothered now anyway." I waved him off.

I just wanted out of here. I felt like I was suffocating. To make matters worse, it was my birthday in a few days too.

It was official, Edward had started planning long term and I had been officially in this house for eleven days.

I still tried to keep my distance, but Alice had been pushing a little on this one. Edward, well he was great. He was arranging a suitable course for me to do online and he had bought me a new laptop too. Though he did warn me not to contact anyone on it.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that whoever was out to find me could trace my location if I let my computer connect to a friends one. I knew how it all worked and that was what had scared me the most. I knew what could be done online and what could be found and I worried that it put myself, Edward or any of the other two at risk. So my computer was only ever used for study. And Alice forcing me to shop online.

That part I hated. Most of the time I went around in my jeans and hooded top with a simple t shirt that I had picked out. Apparently I was no fun when it came to shopping and Alice would pout at the fact Edward was giving us free reign of his credit card. A thought that never comforted me at all. I didn't want his money and on the side I was secretly adding it all up so I could pay him back. I had savings after all. And I suppose I could do with a new laptop. My other one had served me well for four years as I worked towards my degree.

"Come on, Bella. Let me make you breakfast." He asked cheerfully. _A little too cheerfully. _

Edward and I weren't quite strangers now, but he was never like this. He was always so... so... sullen.

I laughed at that. Yep. That was right – Sullen Cullen.

He looked at me with a curious gaze and his lovely jade eyes sparkled at me.

I waved him and my though off.

"Come on, Bella, what's it to be?" He asked smiling, holding a box of cheerios in his hand.

I looked at him suspiciously. Was this an act?

"What's going on?" I asked instantly, my tone serious. He never played like this. He never kept me entertained, he always stayed on his side of the play pen and and stayed on mine.

He turned serious. The look on his face told me that there was news. News that I wasn't going to like.

"Edward?" I asked, pleading for him to just say it already. My heart was racing with worry with the look on his face.

He sat on the stool opposite me and his bare feet rested on the metal bar at the bottom. He sighed.

"I...I was on the phone to your dad." My dad? Oh god. _Was he okay? _

"Is he okay... Is he hurt?" I gasped, panicking.

He nodded. "He's fine..." he was quiet for a moment as he thought. "You're friend, Jacob... his house was broken into." I gasped in panic once again. Was Jake hurt?

I reached forward and grabbed his arm, urging him on with the details. "Is he okay?"

He nodded again. "Him and his dad are fine. They weren't in at the time. But whoever did it, stole his laptop and trashed the rest of the house."

"His laptop? Only his laptop?" I asked confused. I suppose there wasn't much to take.

But no, this made sense.

"There looking for me?" I didn't need an answer.

"We cant be certain, Bella, but it looks that way, yes." His tone was sorry. His free hand rested on mine, where mine lay on his forearm. It was the most contact we had shared but right now I needed it. I couldn't afford to feel uncomfortable. I had no one else.

His words slow dripped into my mind as I thought it though again and again. Poor Jake. Poor Billy. They must have been devastated to have been violated like that. _All because of me._

I bit hard on my bottom lip, reigning in my emotions. But it was no use. Tears sprang from my eyes at the whole situation. I sobbed as I sat on the stool. It was just too much to take along with everything else that had happened.

"This is all my fault." the words whispered from my mouth.

Edward stood up and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest and trying to sooth me with the stroke of his hand on my back. "This is not your fault. You just got dragged into something that had nothing to do with you. It's not your fault." His tone was begging me to see the reality, but I couldn't. They never had me, so they were doing what they could to find me.

I still continued to sob into his chest. His words would never fix all of this, they wouldn't take back the last twelve days.

Pulling away form him, I looked up into his eyes. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked almost viciously. Why would he have me worry like this? Was it not better to keep quiet on this one?

He looked confused. "Wouldn't you want to know?" he asked a little surprised. He was right. I would have wanted to know. Even if there was nothing I could do about it. "I thought I should tell you so you would understand why this might take longer than it should...Right now I cant see you leaving any-time soon. These men are faster than what you dad can deal with. It's not a small time crook, Its someone with a vendetta and you were the one to restore the balance." I swallowed hard at that thought.

He sighed and reached for his stool, brining it right in front of mine. Our knees touched and he still held my hand firmly in his. "I'm looking into moving you away from here. A safe house." He shrugged.

Panic filled in me more. "Safe house?" I asked, surprised. This was sounding more and more ridiculous as it went.

"I know a place where you can go and no one will be able to find you. You will be able to go outside," He smiled at me. "Just give me a few days."

A few days was my birthday. I was going to be all alone for my birthday. "You can't leave me." I begged as I gripped his hand tight. I didn't want to be alone and Edward was all I really had.

He smiled softly at me and stroked away one of my tears. "I'm not leaving you, Bella. I'm coming with you. I need to make sure you're okay." His tone was sincere and so sweet. It was actually shattering my heart right this moment. Once again this man was putting himself out for a complete stranger.

My breathing stuttered and all I could do was nod at his words. I wasn't going to be alone. I would be okay.

"Edward," I looked him squarely in his green eyes. "I'm really scared. What if they find me?" I sobbed out.

He never had any words of comfort. He knew as much as I did, that as of right now, my life had been taken away. I was now a prisoner, hiding out from a land gang of criminals too intelligent for their own good.

I was petrified that they were going to find me.

He pulled me into his chest once again and his grip grew tight, his words a promise. "There going to have to go through me first."

* * *

_**I know it was long over due a UD, but please review! thanks**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Big thanks to Ooza for beta'ing this for me. She makes it work! Sorry for the long UD but life has been more than a little hectic. **_

_**Please leave some love cos i could really do with it. And sorry if i never got back to any reviews. Life was just that crap!**_

_**

* * *

**_

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 6**

_**BPOV**_

I couldn't stop crying. Tears blinded me as I wept into my damp pillow. The same pillow I had cried into all day.

I felt like I had cracked. I had gone crazy. I had gone mad.

It had all become too much, and after learning about Jacob and Billy...it was all just too much to deal with. This crazy messed up world just got a whole lot more screwed up.

_This was affecting the people I loved._

I asked Edward to run through it with me again and again, and after he began to lose patience with me, he let me call my dad.

Speaking to Charlie had only made the situation worse. I pushed for details on these people, who we had been so quick to assume had wanted me to bargain with. I really never believed that they were as cast iron crazy as Edward had made them out to be, but apparently I was seeing them in a good light.

These guys did not play nice. They were guilty of selling drugs, fraud, severe bodily harm, and even murder and I was leaving the people I loved to deal with this. Edward and Charlie both assured me that everyone was safe and that police were keeping an eye on them, watching for danger. They feared that if I were to come back out to the public domain, they would try to grab me once again. _Apparently they liked to follow through on their dealings__._

So I was still here. Still alone and still in tears.

Alice and Jasper had both been in to see me since they had arrived from work this evening, but I didn't want to face them. I wanted to be alone. After all, I really was alone in all of this. And all I wanted to do was to rush back home to see Charlie and Jake.

Glancing at the clock, it was three o'clock in the morning and I hadn't eaten anything at all today and I still never felt hungry.

The confusion was too much for me.

I felt that I was acting childish and over exaggerating things, but at the same time someone was doing all they could to get at me and use me as their deal breaker. Could you imagine it? The daughter of the Police Chief of Seattle kidnapped.

Sitting up in my bed, I looked around to find something to distract me.

_Nothing could distract me_.

I was still feeling petrified that whoever was looking for me would find me. Would they come in the middle of the night if they knew I was here? Would they wait until everyone was sleeping and take me?

I couldn't sleep with that thought in my head.

Flashes of that night came back to me in abundance, and all I could think about was the smell of that man with his arms around me. I hated that smell. He wasn't here, yet it felt like he lingered on me once again.

Getting up, I checked all the windows to see that they were firmly closed. It was a warm night, so it was a little uncomfortable to say the least, but what else could I do? I still wore my dressing gown from this morning, never having washed or showered or anything. It was disgusting. I had lain in a ball of self-pity all day.

_But I was scared._

I paced the plush cream carpet as I tried to restore reason into my head. They didn't know where I was, and they were never going to find me. Soon enough I was going to be away from here altogether, and I was going to be a lot safer.

The thought made me relax a little more but I still had days until it would happen. Days of pacing this carpet and nights of not sleeping. I was going to lose it by then. I could feel it.

I was already panicking. My body was shaking and sweating, and the tears still slid from my eyes.

Was the front door securely looked? The back one too? I wasn't sure. Though I was positive it would have been. It had been since my arrival. Why would it change now?

I still had to check.

Reaching for my bedroom door handle, I pulled down the handle . The door opened without a sound as the light from my room lit up the hallway.

Pulling on my dressing gown cord, I made my way down to the kitchen. I searched the back door in the dark, my hands tracing along the wall as I did.

Finding it, I tried to open it. I couldn't. It was locked, just like it should have been.

My breathing relaxed a little as I quickly hunted out the light switch and turned it on, illuminating the full kitchen. There was no Edward perched on the stool, unlike the first time I had made my way to the kitchen in the middle of the night. I made my way to the windows, double checking that they were all locked also. They were.

I only had to check the front door now. Surely that would have been locked?

Fear pricked up in me once again as I headed in the direction of the front door. I passed the staircase that led to Edward's room with apprehension that I would get to the door, only to be grabbed by someone coming in to get me.

My hands continued to tremble, and my heart raced and skipped beats simultaneously as I let my hand reach the door handle. It was locked, too. There was also a deadbolt locked over at the top, that I had failed to notice, and the door chain swung over the closed entrance too.

I was safe. But I just never felt it.

My mind was getting the best of me, and as I slowly stepped away backwards, from the front door, I saw images of it being forced open, haunting my mind.

I didn't want to turn my back on it in case it were to happen and I would be grabbed from behind once again.

This wasn't normal. What had happened wasn't normal, but I had coped with it. Now I was struggling with its reality, knowing these people were still keen to find me. Hiding out for a few days was never going to put them off. It only encouraged them, it seemed.

Feeling something hit off my back, I jumped with a heart attack inducing fright and let out a small yelp. I sharply turned to see who was there, only to be met with no one. I had bumped into the top stair post of staircase leading down to Edward's room.

I gripped onto the rich mahogany, and with my anxiety, I practically clawed it down to a tooth pick.

_What was I doing? Where was I going?_

I was just standing there, too afraid to move. I needed to go to bed and to try to rest. I knew I needed rest. I was exhausted with the tears. At that thought, they began once again.

When did I become so scared? _This wasn't me._

I slumped to the floor and cuddled the banister, unsure of what to do.

Was I thinking Edward could help me? What was he going to do for me?

He promised that anyone would have to go through him first. I would be safe if Edward was there.

The thought was laughable. He had been attack and stabbed. He was never going to be strong enough to fight anyone away. He couldn't even look after himself.

Before I knew it, though, I was sitting perched on the top stair leading down to his room.

I looked down at the cream carpet that covered the stairs and just sat there, frozen.

_I couldn't go down. I couldn't go and see him._

He got so mad last time. He shouted at me to get out and then I had Alice warn me not to do it again.

_But he said he would keep me safe._

And I would feel safe being down there with him.

My subconscious was shaking me back to reality. He would be asleep. Like I should have been.

Maybe if I was just close enough, it would calm me. Just to help me relax a little and to know that I was actually safe.

Slowly, I slid down the step, on my bottom, and found myself a little bit closer. This was close enough. I couldn't invade his privacy. _He was asleep._

Biting my lip, I tried to let it calm me. It still wasn't enough. Maybe if I could see him?

I couldn't do that, though. It was wrong. If it were the other way around, he would be seen as some pervert. _I wasn't a pervert._

But he would never manage to keep me safe if I sat here. Not if I wasn't in his line of sight, if he were awake.

Taking a deep breath, I slid down a couple of steps, and leaning forward, I was able to see him through the gaps in the railings. It calmed me a little to see him. And like I though, he was asleep. I struggled to see him clearly, but I knew he was asleep. His faint even breaths told me so.

Feeling brave, I slid down a couple more steps. His image grew a little clearer. I could see his face from here. The light shone in window, giving the room a very small dull glow. I could make out his face and his torso, but I struggled to see the scars he carried.

I was okay; I was safe. No one could get in the house, and no one was coming to get me. _Just like Edward had promised._

Quietly, I pushed forward to the bottom step and sat as I watched him in his peaceful sleep. He was relaxed. It was strange to see him look like that. It didn't seem normal, though it should have.

Was I such a burden that all I did was cause him stress?

I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin on my knees as I continued to stare at him. His skin was so white he seemed almost godly. To be honest he, had the body of one too. He was toned in all the right places. In this light, he looked radiant. He looked like the Edward that would have existed before his attack.

A car alarm went off, and I jumped with fright at the sound. It was loud. _Too loud_. I automatically went to the window to inspect it and found it to be open, _slightly_.

Anger flared through me. He told me the house was seal shut. _He lied._

I slammed the window closed and at my action, the room lit up. I got a fright from that and my obvious guilt of coming into Edwards room made me jump around to face him.

"Holy shit." I gasped. _I could not be seeing right._

Edward sat in his bed with a _gun_ pointed at me.

_A gun?_

_A freaking gun?_

_Where did that come from?_

"Bella?" he asked angrily as he struggled to let his eyes adjust. "What the hell are you doing?" All the while he held the gun pointed at me. _He was pissed – again._

_Shit. Was he going to shoot me?_

"You have a gun?" I asked rhetorically, totally blown away by the situation. My voice a little too high pitched with my surprise. The gun was the same as the ones the police forces use. A black handgun – 10mm. Bigger than standard. Sleek dark chrome and not a flaw on it. New? Inexperienced? _Probably_.

His eyes focused on the object in his hand and he put it back down on the bed beside him. "Does it matter?" he asked, shaking his head.

"You could have _shot_ me." What the hell was he thinking?

"I thought you were trying to break in," he shouted. "What are you doing in my room, and did you just close my window?" he was completely perplexed. _Why was his window open?_

"Why was it open? You told me you sealed up the house," I demanded as I crossed my arms and stood in front of him.

"I was warm. And I would have taken care of anyone coming into my room." He shrugged again as he pulled himself forward a little more. His covers revealing the waist band of his bottoms.

"Is that thing even legal?" It better have been or I was going to go running out the door. I wasn't going to stay in a house with a guy and an illegal weapon.

"Of course it is, Bella," he sighed. "Why were you in my room? Were you checking up on me and making sure that all the windows were closed?" He rubbed at the scruff on his face. I wondered when he last shaved and if it was hard to do with his injuries.

"No." I jumped to defend myself. I had double checked the house, but I wasn't checking up on Edward. "I only noticed it when the car alarm went off." _Crap._ _No, that didn't make me sound crazy_ _at all_. I might have well told him I was watching him sleep. _Like a pervert._

His head cocked to the side a little and his brow weighed down as he looked at me. "Then... why are you in my room?" His head snapped up and his expression changed instantly. "Are you okay, is there something wrong?" he asked seriously as he jumped to his feet, revealing himself in only his boxers.

_Oh my god. He was gorgeous. How had I not noticed this before?_

His scars, his attitude... they made him seem ugly.

"No, everything is fine." I put my hands up in the hope of calming him. "I-I-" _Fuck_. How do I admit this one? "I don't know why I'm here," I admitted. "I felt like it would make me feel safe." I was either sounding ridiculous or pathetic. Either way, it didn't sound good.

His eyes narrowed on me once again as he crossed his arms. He stayed silent.

I scrunched my eyes up tight and opened them to find that I was still in Edwards, room and, he was still waiting for a real excuse.

"I'm scared. I know you can't help me... but I just thought..." I sighed. "I don't know what I thought, but I knew I would feel safe if you could see me." I shook my head at my stupidity. "I just couldn't sleep," I mumbled.

"So you thought you'd wake me up? By giving me a heart attack and making me think someone was trying to break in?" His face relaxed a little and he let out a small laugh.

"You gave me a bigger heart attack," I mumbled. He laughed again. We looked at each other for a moment. "Why do you have that thing?" I didn't like the idea of weapons at all. And I hated that my dad had one. That was our culture. Slashing and bullet wounds. That wasn't the way of the world when I was younger.

"I have it to protect myself and the people I care about," he told me seriously, showing that it wasn't just a novelty to him. As he spoke, he walked over to a chair. He picked up his hooded zip top and put it on, covering himself with his hood.

_Why did he do that?_

"And now me," I mumbled to myself.

"Like I said, the people I care about." He shrugged as he placed his hands in his tops pockets.

I let out a little laugh. "You care about me?" I asked jokingly. He didn't know me.

He closed his eyes and didn't said a word in response. Instead he sat down on his bed and patted the end of it, inviting me to sit down with him. "So you can't sleep, huh?"

I took the offered seat and curled my legs below me as I gave a meek nod. "Why?" he asked. Though I had already told him. Hadn't I?

"I'm scared," I whispered, feeling ashamed, and shrugged as I looked away from his intense green stare.

He observed me for a moment, his eyes lingering on me. "Why now? Because of what happened to your friends?" I gave a small nod again as I looked down at my lap.

"Everyone is going to be all right. You know that right?" he asked, his tone a little worried.

"Are they, though? I don't know if those people are getting closer and if they did that to Jake." I met his eyes and my tears were pushing to get out.

"That's why we're moving. Somewhere safer where no one will be able to find you. The chief doesn't even know where I'm taking you."

_What?_

"What? You won't tell him?" I asked as I sat up, shifting a little closer.

"He doesn't want to know. He knows it's a few hours out and that's it." He was so matter of fact. It was a little annoying. "You are safe, Bella. You're safe here and you'll be even safer when I take you to Forks."

"Forks?" Isn't that some sleepy old town on the sea coast?

"It's where I grew up. I have a house out there." He shrugged again, as if it was nothing.

I only nodded.

I looked at the gun that still lay on the bed. It just seemed so casual, as if nothing were out of place.

"When did you get that?" I motioned to the gun.

He picked it up and rested it on the bedside table beside him. "About three weeks ago. Your dad wasn't keen on me getting it, but he understood why I did."

"He knows you have it?" No wonder he thought I was safe. A mad man with a gun. _Yeah, completely safe._

He nodded. "I know what happened to me, Bella, and I don't intend to play the victim. I deserved what I got, but I don't think I deserved to die. Next time I might not be so lucky. So..." he shrugged.

"You bought a gun," I finished for him.

I sighed as I eyed it wearily. And at that, I cried again. For no rhyme or reason, the tears just began to pour out once again.

Wiping at my eyes, trying to stop the tears, but I was just tired with it all. This wasn't my world.

I was a college student who had a part time job in a coffee shop. I wasn't in dealings with any criminals and all of my friends were of sound mind, never carried a gun and never had any scars.

Edward wrapped his comforting arms around me, trying to sooth me like he had earlier. Giving in to him, I let myself be held as he gently stroked one of my arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so tired," I sobbed out onto him as he nodded. "My mind is just over reacting and all I can think about is someone breaking in."

"You are safe, Bella," he reminded me in a sweet, caring voice. I must have sounded like some brat, but I couldn't help it.

"I know. I just don't feel it." _Let the guy get some rest. You are acting childish, Bella._

He scoffed. "Not even when I have the gun?" he asked, half joking.

I shook my head. He didn't understand. "I feel safe here... with you. Just not alone."

He nodded in understanding and surprisingly pulled me down onto the mattress, along with him. "You can sleep here. But only if it makes you comfortable. And only if you don't tell the chief on me. He would string me up." He gave out a little laugh, but I knew he was part serious.

I gave a nod, but made no attempt to move or make myself comfortable. I was already comfortable enough with Edward's arms around me. It was strange. I didn't even know him, not really, but he had saved me.

A shiver ran through me and I felt a little chilled. After his room window had been open, his room was a little airy.

"Are you okay?" he croaked out a little sleepily.

I nodded in his arms.

Pulling himself away from me, he arranged the bed covers so that we would be warm and lay back down beside me. This time, though, he was thoroughly on his own side of the bed. There was not a connection between us as we lay there below the covers.

A moment passed between us, and we both lay there a little uncomfortably. Silently he got out of bed and went to a drawer, pulling out a t-shirt.

With his back to me, he undid the zip on his top and took it off, only to replace it with the t-shirt.

He had been sleeping topless. I hope he wasn't worried that he would make me feel uncomfortable.

"You don't need to wear that if you don't want to. I mean, I don't mind if you're shirtless. I know you had been sleeping without one." I shrugged a little shyly. Did that sound stupid?

He gave a tight-lipped smile "If it's all the same, _I_ feel more comfortable with it on."

_Oh._

He wasn't worried about how I was feeling because he was dealing with how he felt. He was uncomfortable – because of me.

I lay there with my hands clasped and sat up to face him as he returned to bed. "You know what? This is crazy. I'm an adult. I can sleep alone." Pulling the covers off of me, I got out of the bed. "I'm sorry to have been any trouble. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," I flapped as I straightened my dressing gown.

Edward stood next to the bed, rooted. "You don't make me feel uncomfortable. Well, not really." He sighed.

I nodded and tightened the belt of the dressing gown tighter around my waist with my own nervousness peaking.

"I didn't mean it like that, Bella. It's not you-"

"It's me?" I guessed for him.

He laughed without humour as he looked away from my eyes. He looked tired and I could see all his scars perfectly in the light.

"Bella, I don't really know you. But I really like your dad." I scoffed at his words. His _responsible_ words. In reality he was, only afraid of pissing off Charlie. "Wait, I like you too. I do. But you make me feel..." He rolled his shoulders back and sighed as he once again met my eyes. "You make me self-conscious." I made _him_ self-conscious? "I don't want you to look at my chest and face and be disgusted. If I cover up, you can't make those looks."

Was he kidding me? I gave him looks?

But he was right; I _had_ given him looks. I did it to use it to make him more self-conscious about himself and it had worked. That was wrong.

I shook my head. "I-I- Your scars are you, Edward. I'm sorry if I make you feel like that. I'd like to say that wasn't my intention, but I knew how much it got to you when I looked at them." I felt so ashamed. "But that was in the beginning, when I didn't know you. And I never looked at the scar on your chest like that." I tried to convince him that I had been wrong, but that I had tried to change.

"No, you just burst into tears when you saw that one and the one on my head," he let out flatly.

"That's because someone did that to you. I might not have liked you, but I would never wish that on anyone," I argued strongly.

I sighed and turned away from him before backing to the bed and sitting on the edge. I dropped my head into my hands as my mind took everything in.

Was I such a bitch? Was I really so cruel that I would try to make someone feel like that?

_But he had made me feel like that, too._

I felt the bed shift and knew he was sitting on the opposite side. No doubt doing what I was doing.

"Do you like me now?" he asked a little unsure.

Turning around, I was met with his back, coved with the navy t-shirt he wore. I pulled at his shoulder to meet me half way here, to look at me. He slowly turned to meet my eyes. The look in his eyes was so vulnerable, almost innocent.

But he wasn't innocent – he was thirty years old and a powerful man. _But he didn't seem like the man he should be._

When was I ever going to realize that this man was put through severe physical trauma that would follow him around for the rest of his days? It was amazing he had even let me into his home.

I knew it was only to pay back Charlie for saving his life. But Charlie saving Edward that night, that was Charlies job. He was a cop. Edward didn't need to go out his way for anyone. _Let alone me._

The only two people that seemed to orbit his world at all were Jasper and Alice, and his relationship with Alice was frosty to say the least.

Was I the only one he had let in, emotionally? Charlie surely would have been let into. Edward spoke too fondly of my dad not to have.

"It wasn't that I didn't like you, Edward." How did calling out his name do so many things too me? "I just didn't know you." I shrugged. "I was frightened and you never did much to ease my worries."

He nodded, knowing I was right.

"But right now, you are all I have. And as scary it is to admit that, it's true. I have no one. Alice and Jasper are great. They really are. But they-they fill the silence." What was I trying to say here? Shut up Bella. "We-we live in this house with one another all day and spend the full day together – but apart. We dance around one another because we don't know each other and it's intense and it's uncomfortable... but you're keeping me safe._ You are._ Not Jasper and not Alice. It's you who has the gun in bed with him, looking out for everyone else."

"The t-shirt." He shrugged. "I only wanted to keep it on so you wouldn't look at me as if I'm injured. _I was_. But I'm okay now," he promised.

"You're not," I corrected. "And you shouldn't be. You are still shaken up, and your concern about how I would react just shows that you're not comfortable with yourself yet."

"I'll never be comfortable with myself." he mumbled.

"Well you should, because a lifetime is a long time to go with not liking yourself." I turned around to him completely, crossing my legs on the bed. "You need to like yourself for who you are. Not who you keep trying to be."

He laughed at me. "Are you kidding? I'm a plastic surgeon, Bella. It's my job to change people. Make them to _be _someone else."

I shook my head firmly. "No it's not. Your job is to make someone more at ease within themself. To make a sound minded decision to change an aspect of their being and make them more comfortable... confidant. If their changing to be someone else, then that's wrong."

He looked at me confused. Then he just looked away.

"I need to get some sleep," he told me rather pointedly. "You can lie here if it makes you happy, but I'm keeping my shirt on either way, and I'm going to sleep on the floor."

He moved to a closet and began to pull out bundles of sheets, preparing them out on the floor. I was shocked to see him just blank me like that. Did he take any of my words in at all?

I couldn't tell.

* * *

"Isabella." He shook me firmly by the shoulder as I tried to remember just exactly where I was.

_Edward's __bed._

A while later and after a painful discussion of just exactly how inappropriate it was of me to be happy to share the bed of a stranger, I gave up and let Edward have his way.

I just knew I couldn't sleep alone. I needed some real rest if I was to keep my sanity, because it was clearly beginning to leave me.

My eyes opened up to be met with the cool expression of Edward's green ones. "I suggest that we don't have this as public news, so you might want to go to your own room before the others wake," he told me curtly.

I quickly turned to check the time, to see that it was six in the morning.

_Six o'clock?_

_Seriously?_

I had only been asleep for two hours after all that we had talked about. I was still shattered.

But he was right. I knew Alice would be nervous of me being near Edward as she could be hostile towards him, and in all honesty, it would just make things simple if no one knew. Beside, I'm sure that come tonight I would be able to sleep on my own, in my bedroom upstairs.

I gave an agreeing nod and chose to ignore the fact that he had called me Isabella.

This was the thirty-year-old Edward with the stick up his ass over any mention of him being wrong. Surprisingly, this felt normal for him to be so agitated.

I gave a mumbled thanks as I crawled out of bed and silently went about my way, and back to my room before I was found out.

I didn't want to sleep. Instead, I headed straight for my bathroom and began to clean myself. I shaved my legs and wash my hair in some vain attempt to feel normal and for something to feel routine.

With my bathrobe on and towel rapped around my hair, I made my way back downstairs, famished for breakfast and the food I missed out on yesterday.

I needed a sugar rush and I needed one quick or else I was going to hit the floor. Reaching into the cupboard, I lifted out a box of Pop-Tarts. It wasn't something I would normally eat for breakfast, but my body was in need of something right now.

I rolled my eyes at the toaster as I had went to place them in it and remember the whole toaster incident yesterday.

Taking them as they were, I took a seat and started to eat, feeding myself.

Edward made an entrance and looked surprised to find me here so early in the morning.

He reached the cupboard and lifted out the coffee and the filters and politely asked if I would like some too. I accepted and gave a small smile in an attempt to warm him up a little bit.

It didn't work. Instead, he picked on my attire. "Do you really think it's appropriate to be wearing that, in the kitchen, not even knowing what kind of man I am?" His eyebrow quirked up, and I dropped my Pop-Tart with an eye roll as I brushed the crumbs off my fingers.

"I think it's about as appropriate as me sharing a room with said person," I told him casually as I got up off my seat and pressed past him to get a bottle of water out of his fridge.

"Are you aiming for attention?" he asked carefully as he rested his hands on my shoulders and held me back a space, clearly infuriated at me trying to get by him so closely.

"Please. I wanted a bottle of water." I waved the bottle up as my evidence and retook my seat only to knock the bottle back on one go. I was parched after yesterday. I wasn't playing games.

"I would prefer it if you would be a little more dressed next time." he told me as he began to sort the coffee out.

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. "I've had my dressing gown on in the kitchen in front of you at least twice before and you never said a thing." He was nitpicking and I knew it.

"Isabella, those times, you wore something on under the dressing gown. Today you are just out the shower." He rested his back against the perfectly polished stainless steel fridge and looked over at me, repulsed.

I flushed knowing his words were true. There was not a stitch below my bathrobe.

I closed my eyes and tried to shake it away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you," I told him seriously. But really - was he gay or something? "But I'm not doing it to attract your attention. And last night... well I was scared. I really was and if you don't believe me, then fine. But get your ego in check. I am not trying to seduce you."

He laughed at that one. "I never said that you were trying to seduce me. Seriously Isabella, you are a child. Do I look like a pervert?" I wasn't a child, though he always made me feel like one.

"I am not a child, Edward. I am twenty-two and-"

"Twenty-one." he corrected. I narrowed my eyes at him and his smart mouth.

"Twenty-two," I argued. _Okay, so maybe I was still a bit of a kid a heart_. I was still only twenty-one, but in reality I was a lot closer to twenty-two than I was twenty-one. "And this might surprise you, but I can vote, I can drink, I can get married. Hell I could even have a kid-"

"You don't have a child either," he informed me sharply.

"No, but I could if I wanted to. I could have a five-year-old child right now."

"But your still only twenty one, unless you lied or you have had your birthday in the house." He shrugged so damn cock sure of himself. I hated it. It was infuriating me.

"My birthday is soon," I told him sweetly with a smile.

"When?" he snapped.

"Never you mind." I gritted my teeth at him. I wasn't going to be pushed about.

"Give me your licence." He actually tried to order me. I don't think so.

"Go to hell, Edward. What is up with you? The past few days you were actually beginning to seem normal," I practically shouted.

"Do I hear voices?" Alice called as she came down the stairs in her little ballet pumps.

"Morning, Alice," I called out sincerely, ignoring my conversation with Edward.

"Morning, you two. You both are up early." She smiled as she headed toward the fresh batch of coffee to find it was still being made up.

I shrugged. "I was having weird dreams," I part lied. "Some crazy guy with a gun was shaking me about."

I could see Edwards face drop and without saying a word, he left the room.

Alice looked on as if she was missing something, but I wasn't saying a word. Nothing.

Edward was right. It was best to keep it quiet. And now I was going to forget all about it.

* * *

Our paths didn't crossed until dinner. Alice came up, getting me to join them for the evening, and I gave in to her. She was to nice to say no to.

Edward and I never said a word to each other. How could he be so open and honest one minute and so closed off the next?

Was he angry with what I had said?

Really though, I was trying to be sympathetic. It was hard knowing that he was so unhappy with his life. I knew what happened to him wasn't fare, but it also wasn't my fault.

Conversation at the table was between Jasper and Alice with the odd agreement from Edward and I. I actually said a few more words than him though. A few times he just ignored the conversation totally.

"How do you feel about going to Forks?" Alice asked carefully.

I shrugged as I swallowed down what was in my mouth. It wasn't going to be too much different from here. Another prison. Oh wait, I could at least step out the back door there. "I suppose it will be a change."

She gave a small nod as she cut through her breast of chicken. "Will you manage him all alone." She smiled in the direction of Edward and then to me. Edward never paid a blind bit of notice.

_Wait..._

_Alone__?_

"Alone?" I asked carefully as I turned to look at Alice then Jasper.

Jasper only shrugged. "Bella, I can't leave work and Alice needs to keep the store running." I suppose it made sense. I just had never thought about it.

"He will take good care of you, Bella." Alice silently threatened Edward with an ice cold stare and Edward nodded, taking heed of the warning.

"I'll make sure she always has what she needs. She won't go without anything. I'm just sorry she has to put up with me." His tone was softer, almost tender. I noticed it and so did the others as they peered at him.

Suddenly there was a knock at the front door. My gut clenched. In my whole time here, the doorbell had never rung and there was never a knock on the door either. All deliveries had been addressed to Alice's work.

The four of us sat there stunned, as Edward try to figure out what to do.

People must have seen Alice and Jasper leave, but no one else knew Edward and I were here. Charlie knew where Edward lived, but I doubted it was him. He would have warned us.

"You go," Edward whispered to Jasper.

Jasper gave a nod and Alice looked scared. "No, you go. It's your house," she nipped.

Edward screwed his eyes closed, not knowing what to do. No one was supposed to know he was here. He had played the vanishing act himself. Only the police and the hospital had note of this address.

Edward was torn and I knew the only reason he didn't want to answer it was because of how he looked. I didn't think he really cared about his anonymity, only his looks. I could tell just by looking at him and his obvious discomfort.

Alice sighed and stood up. "For god's sake, I'll get it then. It's probably just kids messing around."

She tucked her chair in and headed in the direction of the front door leaving the three of us sitting in silence.

We tried to listen to what was being said, but the door was too far away. We could make out mumbles, and that was all.

She came back a few moments later and she looked a little shocked. Silently she sat down and kept her eyes cast to her dinner plate.

"Alice?" Jasper pushed. You could see Edward struggle with her silence.

She looked up at Edward. "Someone's looking for you. Whoever it is, they know that you're here."

Edward's eyes flashed to Jasper's and I could see them both fill with panic.

"Who knows I'm here?" he shouted at Jasper as if he had the answer.

Jasper only shook his head. "I have no idea. Maybe someone from the hospital looked at your notes?"

Edward pushed his dinner plate away, andI lost my appetite at seeing Edward so distressed. He was practically pulling his hair out, his hand disappearing into his hood.

"What did they say, Alice?" He stood up and paced the floor.

Alice tried to sooth him somewhat. "They asked for you by name. I said that you didn't live here, and they said that they knew you were the homeowner. What about the agency... when you bought it?"

Edward though for a moment and sat back down. "They can't give that information out, Alice."

Alice looked to Jasper. A knowing look passed between the couple. Was I missing something?

Jasper spoke up. "Someone is looking for you, Edward. Maybe... maybe it's-"

"Shut up Jasper," Edward snapped at him, not even letting him finish his sentence.

"It would make sense, Edward." he pushed some more.

"I don't care. I'm getting out of here." Edward quickly turned to me. "We're leaving tonight. Pack up your things as soon as you can."

* * *

**a/n: I have the next few chappyw writen but still to be given the once over. I will try to ud as soon as I possibly can. **

**More Ud's for my other stories soon. **


	7. Chapter 7

_**a/n: Mega thanks to Ooza who beta'd it and makes it ohh so readable**_

_**And also a shout out to my neighbour who saved my laptop and countless unpublished chapters from a virus.**_

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 7**

_**BPOV**_

I stood there with my arms crossed, glaring at him as he rushed around his room packing up his things. He refused to tell me who Jasper had been talking about, citing that it was none of my business. But the way he moved and decided to pack up and leave so quick had me worried. Was Edward at risk too? Was that why he was hiding out?

"Bella, have you packed everything? Your laptop... all of it?" he asked sounding exasperated. He was. He had sent me to finish my packing and I had refused to move, but the truth was, I had nothing else to pack. I never had much with me and what had been bought for me was packed up in my backpack and another little holdall that Alice had given to me.

"So it's Bella again?" I asked, noticing that he had reverted back from Isabella.

He stood up and I had his attention. "Right now, I don't care. All I want is you packed up. Your dad knows that someone came to the house and is checking it out, but we still need to move."

It was agreed that Jasper and Alice were going to come with us for the night to make sure we got up there okay. Jasper was driving and Edward groaned about it , but didn't argued too much as he was too concerned about leaving.

I walked a step closer to him as I dropped my hands. "What happened? You are mad at me? Why? Was it because I woke you up, that I slept here? If so, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

As I moved forward he opened his bed side drawer and lifted out his gun. It was still a shock to see that thing. It just seemed so... so violent. He tucked it in the back of his jeans and readjusted his shirt.

"Is that thing really necessary?" Was it? Why did we need a gun if we were going somewhere safer?

He zipped up his bag and stood up straight to look at me. "Yes it is. We don't know who got my address. It could be something to do with me, but it could also be something to do with you and they found out that I was the owner. I'm not taking any risks until we are at least outside the city limits."

_What was happening in my world?_

This had to be a joke. A bad dream... Something.

I took a seat on the edge of the bed. The same spot as I sat last night. "Edward, I don't think I want to be this risk for you any more. It's not fair and I know that you are only doing it for Charlie. Don't put yourself out for me. Not like this." He was hiding a gun in his jeans in case he needed to protect me. It wasn't right. He had got it only a few weeks ago, and though he would have still had it, I doubted his use of it if I weren't here.

He drew himself in closer to me and I thought I was going to get a real answer out of him. Some ounce of truth. I was wrong.

He ignored my words and yanked me up by the top of my arm. "Get Jasper and tell him to bring your things down the stairs before he leaves to get the car. We are going now." His words were cool and detached and the grip on his arm told me not to mess with him. I nodded my head silently as I looked into his fiery green eyes, and once he dropped my arm, I made my way to Jasper as instructed.

I hadn't been outside in almost two weeks and I felt strangely scared to do so. I knew it was only going to be a few short strides out to the car. With it already packed up by Alice and Jasper, I would only be on the pavement for moments.

Alice was wrapped up in her jacket. After the surprisingly mild day we had only yesterday, it was suddenly feeling a lot cooler. A lot more like September. I only wore a little hooded top but knowing that the car would grow warm, I wasn't concerned.

Seeing Jasper and Alice ready to go from the window of the lounge, Edward grasped onto my hand and pulled me into his back. I felt myself stumble at the unexpected contact and bumped into his back, my nose hitting him. I gave a mumbled apology but I doubt he had heard it, and as he swiftly pulled me out into the dark night.

I rested my hand on his lower back, balancing myself and preparing for another jolt into his spine when we reached the car. I could feel his muscular back, and at my touch, he seemed to tense up.

We quickly descended the stairs after Edward had checked that the street was still clear, and he rushed me into the nearest car door, coming in behind me and making me shift along the back seat to the other side. I had no time to notice the car, but what I did notice were the tinted windows and the black leather of the seats.

We pulled away from the curbside as Edward glanced at me, silently checking that I was okay. I gave a small smile in an attempt to reassure him and he turned to Jasper. "Do you think you're able to put your foot down on this thing and drive it like how you're supposed to or do you want me to take over once we're out of the city?" I was sure it was a rhetorical question. A dig at Jasper's driving and a warning.

"Ed, I can drive my car. But you can bus it if you'd rather. Or we could go ann get that pretty car of yours if you want." He wasn't taking Edward's shit and Alice looked proud of him for it.

"I don't have a car," he stated simply as we turned out of the street and headed for Forks.

A couple of hours later, Alice started a search of music to listen to. She jumped through the stations much like how Edward had changed the channel on the television.

"Alice, will you stop that and turn it off already? Does it look like a road trip to you?" Of course Edward was going to snap. He always did, especially to Alice.

"It's been two hours of silence, Edward. I swear to god that if I don't here something, I'm going to die," she let out rather theatrically. But she was right. The silence was deafening. The tension was rolling off of Edward and I struggled to take it in.

"Fine," he mumbled. "Just stop with the chopping and changing. Just put it on a station and leave it."

The quiet hum of an old Bon Jovi track trickled through the car and everyone else sat quiet, listening to the music.

Glancing at Edward, I doubted he was even aware of the music. He seemed so focused on something else. I hoped that I wasn't putting too much stress on him. I knew I had been mean and I couldn't take it back, but I was growing regretful of the way I had treated him. He was still adjusting to his own new reality. But apparently looking after me was the top of his list of distractions.

His eyes met mine and he looked at me like how he had in his bedroom before we had left this evening. I didn't like the look he gave me so I dropped my head feeling deflated. I was soon going to be all alone with this man. and I struggled to stay on comfortable level of communication with him.

_This was going to be hell._

I wished that Jasper and Alice could have joined us, but I knew that their worlds were still turning. It was only Edward and I who had their lives on stand still. My eyes glazed over once more at the situation, and I was at least happy it was only a tear in my eye as opposed to the shower of tears I had cried yesterday.

Shifting on my seat I felt so awkward. I was actually driving away from my life. I wanted to cry again, but I refused to let the tears shed.

With a warm touch to my hand, my head snapped up to find Edward looking down over me. His hand rested on mine and I was caught off guard by the humanity in his eyes. I gave a small smile as a tear fell from my eyes and ran down my cheek. I swatted it away and Edward pulled back, once again the moment of kindness was over all too quickly.

* * *

We pulled up outside the house a little after eleven at night. Stepping out of the car, I was surprised by the size of the house. It was huge. It was white, traditional and at the front, four pillars held up the half circled porch. It was so grand... so exquisite.

I knew Edward had said that money wasn't an issue to him, but to have this, as well as the huge town house. It was crazy. What world did he live in?

Making our way to the front door, I read the inscription of the house name on the silver plate. _Casa Della Libera. _I was confused by what it meant. "House of what?" I asked nervously.

"Of the free. House of the Free," Jasper told me with a smile playing his lips. It was a bit ironic to say the least. "Edwards mom... she has a sense of humor."

I Glanced up at Edward as he shook off Jasper's words and I kept quiet as he opened the door letting us in. Was Edward's mother here too?

We walked into the grand foyer and the twin staircase that led to the other floor, but the ceiling was deep enough that I could tell there was another level.

_Three story. Wow._

Looking around I could see that the house led off to each side. An array of white doors leading off in both directions. All closed and making me curious, wondering what was behind each one. I wanted to explore. It wasn't a house – it was a freaking mansion.

Edward called over to me first. "Bella, take the stairs to the first floor and take the first door that you come to on the left. That will be your room.

I obediently nodded and slowly headed off in the direction with Jasper and Alice following behind me a little.

I was so impressed with the house. It was beautiful and it was clear that a woman had lived here. Reaching my room, I pushed through the door feeling giddy to see what lay on the other side. I just knew it was going to be as stunning as the rest of the house. It was meticulously detailed and I knew that whoever had decorated it would have paid close attention to the detailing through the rest of the house.

Bursting though he door though, I was taken aback. There was a woman – _lying in bed._

She was too young to be Edward's mother. She was stunning though. Long blond hair flowed from her perfect head and she looked just as stunned to see me here. She looked like she was pregnant too from the small perfect pouch that seemed to hide below the satin of her nightgown.

I couldn't speak. Instead I dropped my bags and ran out the door calling to Jasper. He was in the room next to me along with Alice. "Jasper." I rattled on the door. "Jasper." _Who was she? Why was she here? Did Edward know her?_

He opened the door with alarm written all over his face. He looked at me expectantly "There is a girl in my room," I practically sobbed with the shock of it all. His brow furrowed. "This blond girl is... is just lying in the bed."

"Tanya?" he asked surprised, anger flaring through him a moment later.

He pushed by me and rushed to the door of my so called room.

I followed him to see who this _Tanya_ was. Why was she here?

The sound of the television played as we walked back into the room. The woman sat at the edge of the bed with a look of absolute bewilderment on her face. Jasper stopped in his tracks as he looked at her, the pretty blond meeting his eyes.

"Rosalie?" he called out to the blonde, clearly already knowing her.

"Jasper?" she asked a little shell shocked before she rushed up to him, hugging him. She then glanced at me. "What are you doing here? You better not be cheating on Alice with some cheap tramp." she hissed, looking well and truly pissed.

_She though I was__ some cheap tramp?_

She was misunderstanding it all.

Alice joined us and so did Edward with all the commotion. Edward had stilled at the door as he took in the scene. "Rosalie?" he whispered almost apologetically and looked towards the floor, hiding his face.

"What the hell happened to you?" the blonde, Rosalie, marched over to him, pulling at his face to meet her eyes. "Oh my god, Edward. What's going on?"

Edward once again looked away from her as he began to mumble once again. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Edward what are _you_ doing here? You never come here. _Never_." She pronounced the last word a little too harshly for my liking. "Where have you been? Your-"

"Rose, enough with the twenty questions okay?" he bit at her a little to firmly and pushed her gently back a space.

His eyes glanced to her stomach and he reached out to touch her, but stopped and pulled back his hand, closing off his eyes to the room. "I'm eight month along, Edward," she sighed. "We never hear from you, so why would you want to hear from us?" She crossed her arms across her chest and gave a small smile to Alice. Alice gave a small wave of the hand in return.

"Where is he?" Edward croaked out, the emotion lacing his voice.

"Out at the gas station. I wanted some chocolate." She shrugged casually. "So why are you here? And who is she?" She jutted her head in my direction. "She's not Tanya."

Edward nodded. "This is Bella. She's the daughter of... of a friend." he stumbled out. "She needs a place to lay low for a while."

She eyed me up curiously. "Are you going to cause any trouble? Because if that's your game you can get out." Who the hell was she and who was she to judge me? "People don't just _lay low._"

"Really, Rosalie. She's a sweetie. She's been staying with us in Seattle, and apart from working up Edward, she's good as gold," Alice promised with a smile as she winked over at me.

I blushed.

Rosalie still looked wary but gave a small nod.

Suddenly we heard loud footsteps bounding up the stairs and a man's loud booming voice calling out to Rosalie. "Rosie, are you alight?" He sounded panicked. He stopped at the door and silently eyed Edward. He said nothing to him at all. Instead he pushed past us and wrapped his arms around Rosalie and their baby bump before looking back out to us again.

"_You_ can get out," he spat at Edward.

Edward rolled his eyes and looked away. "You can't make me, Emmett. It's my house too."

Emmett was tall like Edward but his hair was almost black and his size was very different. He looked like an American footballer – a big one at that. His eyes narrowed in on Edward. "It's a family house, and you picked your family." He shrugged.

"Don't start this," Edward gritted at him. "This is my home too and you know it. It's for both of us."

"It belongs to all four of us," Emmett corrected and Edward tensed. Who were the four? I was so lost and confused.

Emmett's eyes landed on me and I once again began to worry about my reception here. "So who's the brunette?" He motioned to me. "A new squeeze?"

* * *

_**EPOV**_

After all it had taken to get here, I was met with my god damn brother. I just knew he would be waiting to gloat after he saw my face.

We all went down stairs as the others dispersed into the kitchen, and Emmett practically dragged me by the scruff of the neck into the lounge. He stood there. I was waiting for it, the shit I knew was overdue. He was right. I was wrong.

He eyed my face and then looked me in the eye. "Looking awful pretty these days. Daddy's handiwork?" he let out sarcastically. "Now what could you have done to piss him off_ that _much?"

My voice caught in my through but I managed to get the words out. "I was attacked." They were weak and frail just like how I felt the night I was jumped.

"I can see that... but the question is, why didn't Washington's finest plastic surgeon fix it up for you?" His gaze continued to stay in me and I was beginning to think he liked to see me like this. Maybe he did. I was deserving of it.

Sighing, I sat down on the couch and caught my head in my hands, giving myself a moment to regain my composure. I looked up to him and he stood there waiting. "I was stabbed. I needed surgery and they got in someone to fix up my face as quick as they could while they worked on me. I was out cold." I shrugged.

Emmett took a seat, his expression now unreadable. "Where were you stabbed, Edward?"

I looked away. "The heart... well just above it, but there was some damage." I meet his eyes, Emmett sat there wide-eyed.

"And you never thought of telling us?" he practically shouted. "You never thought that I might actually have a heart and want to see that you were all right?"

He would have been there, but only out of duty. I didn't need that kind of false environment only to go crashing back into reality. I had already lived that life for too long. I didn't need anyone. No one but Jasper. I laughed at his words. "What, you would have come, brought me some grapes, and it would all have been rosy?" I shook my head. "I know it doesn't work like that."

He shook his head. "No, Edward. It's exactly like that. _He_ can walk away if he wants. But that's _him_. He's never been afraid of turning his back on anybody. I'm here, hell you're even _here_." He motioned to the house, to Forks. The one place that I said I would never come back to. "Mom always said you would come back one day. That he would let you down too. But for him to back away and leave you like this." His own voice caught in his throat.

His eyes were full of sympathy. As much as I knew it would never be easy for us to be brothers, we were and he would always be there for me.

I shook my head at his words. "Our mother walked out on us. How can you sit there and defend her? You are always on her side." He always was.

"Edward, that's only because she's on our side too. She left him. Not us. You wouldn't leave 'cause you were the golden boy in his eyes. I couldn't leave you alone with him. You would have only turned out worse than him if I had. He never cared about me 'cause I was the fat one. I came out with chubby cheeks and after that he never looked at me again."

I wanted to shout. I wanted to defend him. But I couldn't because Emmett was right.

"What were your injuries?" he asked calmly as he looked at my face.

I pulled down my hood, revealing the scars in my head. "Dude, really is there any excuse for the hair? Sort it up a little, will you?"

He was right. They had shaved my head in the hospital so they could clean out my wound and stitch it up. It was only the top they had done and I couldn't have cared how it looked now. The sides were long and grown out, and in desperate need of a cut. It didn't matter though. It was always hidden.

Moving on, I lifted up my top and as he looked at the scar. He shifted onto the floor and sat in front of me, looking up in pure amazement.

"Holy shit. You are lucky to be alive." He crawled forward and reached out to touch it. His fingers still cool from the night air. He pulled back letting me slide down my shirt and pulling my hood back up.

"You look like a freaking emo with that hood going on. Should I turn up the Nirvana while I'm here?" he laughed. I rolled my eyes at him. At Emmett, my big brother.

Like he had said, he was here for me. In his own little special way, he was.

* * *

"So let me get this right," Emmett tried to clarify once again. "Your dad's the chief, but he can't keep you safe?" he asked Bella.

She shrugged. "Yes," she told him matter-of-factly. Emmett closed his eyes and shook his head.

God she was beautiful, and after staying with me for so long, she was driving me to distraction. I wanted her - in the biblical sense – hell, I wanted her in every sense. She just did too many things to my mind after almost two weeks together.

After last night, I didn't know what to do. I just kept lashing out at her. But she had struck a nerve when she told me off. Who was she to say that we couldn't become someone else? If I wanted to be turned into a damn pussy cat with plastic surgery, I could.

Being comfortable with myself was just never going to happen. Who was she kidding? Did she think I was just going to go out and find some girl and live happily ever after? This was my reality now and I had to get used to it. It couldn't be filled with false hope and star wishes.

Rosalie was still keeping a curious look on her as she spoke. "So the question is, Bella. Where will you sleep?"

Emmett and I looked at each other, knowing the only place for her. Our mother's bedroom. There were six rooms, but two of no use. They had been left empty.

"She could shack up with us, Rosie," Emmett joked. "She's cute as button." Emmett winked at her and I felt anger bubble inside me.

_She wasn't going near anyone__ but me._

_Did I just think that__?_

Her face turned the sweet rose color it does and I'm glad she's embarrassed, if only for me to see her blush. She can bite like tiger when she wants too, but the real Bella is a lot more like a kitten in comparison. "She can stay in Mom's room," I finally said, making the decision.

"Mom, now is it? I'm impressed. When was the last time you actually called her that? Or when was the last time you actually called her?" Rosalie bit at me.

"Rosalie, I can understand you're a little hormonal, but maybe it's time for bed for you. I don't want you to stress yourself out too much." I still didn't know why they were here and I regretted saying it when I saw her face falter. _Rosalie's face never faltered._

She nodded her head. "Honey, he's right. I should go back to bed."

_Shit what did I say?_

Rising from her seat, she reached down and pecked Alice and Jasper on their cheeks and messed up Emmett's hair in passing, telling him to be up soon. She said goodnight and left us for the evening. Emmett didn't need any encouragement though and followed her a few moments after telling everyone goodnight also.

The four of us were alone again, and come morning, Alice and Jasper would be leaving.

I told the other two to get to bed and that I could help get Bella settled for the night. It was almost two in the morning and they looked exhausted. Alice gave Bella a peck on the cheek and the couple left us to it.

"So..." Bella said as she wrung her fingers together. She looked nervous and I suppose tonight and the little side comments would have her confused.

"Are you tired?" I asked, and she only shrugged her shoulders at me. "Do you think you will sleep?" I tried again. She gave another shrug and I sighed at her lack of vocabulary.

I knew that I had to try and clean the air between us if I was to get anywhere with her. I had been harsh to her and I needed to tell her I was wrong – again. She wasn't really being inappropriate with how she had been dressed. My mind had just started to go wild. She was all damp from the shower, and like a horny teenager, she had an effect on me.

I moved around a seat and sat next to her, to try to show her I wasn't opposed to her being close to me, it was just me simply being an ass. She shifted in her seat and looked a little fearful. I placed my hand over hers and just like earlier, I could feel the spark pulsate though my hand. She was electric.

"I'm sorry for whatever I said last night or this morning. Things were just getting to me and I took it out on you." I wanted to tell her to only wear her robe if she wanted. but I knew it would just sound wrong. I was happy for her to be as she wished. I just wished I could control myself. She nodded and bit down on her lip in response.

It was actually painful sitting this close to her. I wanted to kiss her and a list of all other unsavoury things came to my mind. She was still too young for me. I had been trusted by her father. I couldn't screw him over by screwing her over. "I should get you into bed." _Shit. What did I just say? _"I mean, I should get you to your room so you can get settled for the night."

She nodded and gave a small smile. I'm sure she was trying to stop from laughing at my stupidity. I got up from my seat and she followed after me as we made our way to the stairs. Her bags had been left out side the hall of her original room. I went and picked them up for her, leaving her to wait a moment at the top of the stairs.

We walked along the curve of the banister that allowed us to look down onto they foyer and I reached the faraway door, opening it for her. She walked in and I followed after her with her bags and placed them down on the foot of the bed. "There's a bathroom in there." I pointed to the corner across from the door we had come through as I turned on the lamps so that she was able to see.

I stood in front of her for a moment. I didn't know why, but I didn't want to leave her. After seeing her so upset last night, I worried about how she would settle into the second strange house in under a fortnight.

"I'm only next door, Bella," I promised her. "If you need anything... get scared," I shrugged. "Just don't be on your own if you don't want to be. I know how I have been acting and I'm sorry. It's just been a little strange having you stay."

She nodded. "I know. And I'm sorry too. I know that I have been nasty and I have had no right to be, especially since you have been so good to me and kept me safe." She tucked some hair behind her ear. I wanted to kiss her goodnight.

What was I thinking? I was needing someone jolt me back to reality and tell me that I just couldn't perv on sweet, innocent girls.

She glanced to the floor and then to her nails as she fidgeted with her hands. "I'll leave you to it and let you get settled." She glanced up at me and nodded. "Goodnight, Bella."

_Why was I hoping to find her in my room at some point in the middle of the night again?_

I went to leave and as I did, she pushed up on her tip toes and kissed me on my jaw. It surprised me and the sensation of feeling her warm lips on me was unbelievable. I could only imagine what it would be like to kiss her properly.

She blushed and apologised. But I didn't know why.

I continued on my way as she mumbled her last words. "Sleep well, Edward." I knew that I was going to sleep well, but I worried about her, especially after last night.

Walking into my own bedroom was odd. This had been my room years ago when I grew up but after the bitter divorce of my parents, it just became this shell. Glancing around the room I noticed it had been redecorated, but my mother being my mother, had kept the little touches that were me and had managed to transform it into something that was still my own and suitable for adulthood. She placed pictures of the three of us, her, Emmett and me, on the top of the drawers as a reminder that we were happy, once upon a time. My father's face was nowhere to be seen and I wasn't surprised.

I let out a small laugh as I saw the glass name plate with my nickname _'Pi__ccolino'_ lasered out through it. My mother had always called me that and I remember when the word had come flying out of my mouth. It was Italian and it meant smallest, or very little. I was the baby, and in comparison to Emmett when growing up, I was always so lean.

I ran my fingers across it, knocking off the dust that had gathered. I would dust in the morning and Bella's room too.

I still couldn't believe I was here. I had always been on my dad's side, as blind as I was. I always thought he would be there for me, but he wasn't. I was only money and good looks to him. Now what did I have? I still had my money and I suppose it was something. But it wasn't everything. Actually I was beginning to realize it meant very little after all.

I looked at the photos of an innocent me. A me when I could have been saved. She should have done all she could have to keep me from him. But I could see no wrong then.

It had been seven years since I has seen my mother last. It was at Emmett and Rosalie's wedding, and I barely gave her the time of day, expecting her to say words of poison to me. But they weren't, they would have been words of warning of what was to come.

Placing my gun on my night stand, I stripped to my boxers, made my way to the bed and turned off the lamp, emerging myself in the black. It was like seeing into my own mind.

I didn't know how healthy it was of me to be here. It was my home, Emmett's too, and I suppose Rosalie's. But It was always going to be my mother's. She fought hard to keep the estate and she won what was always rightfully hers.

Her family was loaded. I wondered now if that was what had attracted my father.

Anyway, she had promised it to me and Emmett, and it was now in both our names. I never wanted anything to do with the house. She had left us and I could never forgive her for that... well... at least I never used to. I suppose I could understand it somewhat, now. But I would never agree that she was right to leave.

It was why she called it _Home o__f the__ Free_. It was her own little celebration of shaking off my father and gaining what was hers. Her house... her independence... her sanity.

I had only seen it as some nasty dig to my father, but now I understood it, and now I understood what Emmett meant when she said I would come back here one day.

The irony was, though, Bella and I were prisoners of _Home o__f the__ Free_ and I didn't know how long it would last.

* * *

I jolted awake, much like I had done last night, but this time I didn't have my gun under my pillow.

I sat up to be met with a dark body standing above me.

_Bella?_

I reached for the lamp and struggled with the switch before I finally managed to light up the room.

I was right; it was Bella and her eyes sparkled the same way they had last night. She had been crying again. It tugged on my heart, hard, to see her distress, and instantly, I pulled on her hand and brought her down on to the bed with me.

She sat there, stiff as a board. "I'm sorry. I just - I'm just not handling this too well." She bit on her lip once again, but this time I reached for it and gently pulled it out with the tip of my thumb. I rested my hand on her cheek and she rested her head in my hold, accepting me.

"You don't need to say a word, Bella." The truth was, I had suffered from nightmares after my attack and what had stopped them was Bella's presence. I didn't know when or how, but her arrival and presence of her in the house had cured me of them. I worried that they would come back if she were to leave me.

She nodded and then wrapped her arms around me, hugging me close to her as she wept onto my shoulder. I was aware that I had no shirt on, and though her seeing me like this, made me feel uncomfortable, I wasn't about to push her away if she was okay with how I was.

Resting my hand on her back, I propelled her forward and got her to lay down beside me as her breathing settled once again. She was only wearing loose cut shorts and a vest but if she was comfortable with what she wore, who was I to feel concerned about it. I had done that enough to her with my crazy eating habits that had been instilled in me from such a young age.

Her forehead rested on my shoulder and her half draped body clung to my side like a damp cloth. She seemed so tired that her body had just gave up trying to hold its self. Her hair fanned out across my chest and I brushed it aside so that I was able to see her face.

Her eyes were heavy and red and totally fixated with the scar on my chest. It was making me feel uncomfortable all over again. Her hand drew up into the air between her face and my scar and I could see her waiver on if she should reach out and touch it. She had tried that the first time she had seen it and I pulled away from her. I didn't want her to touch it then. I still didn't want her to touch it.

I reached her hand with mine and pulled it down onto my chest, away from my scar, and let her hand rest below mine. She looked at me quickly and she knew why I did it. She looked away with a different look on her face. I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

A moment later, she rolled off of me and turned to face the other side.

I felt cold without her lying on me.

I didn't know why, but I didn't like her reaction or her movements.

We didn't utter another word. We just fell asleep.

* * *

_Her back was pushing against mine,__ and as I felt her hair in my face, I couldn't help but lean in and smell the mass. Her long hair smelled like strawberries and I liked it. I liked to feel her hair in my face__ and I liked the heat of her back pressed up against my chest__._

_My hand rested on her hip and I let my thumb circle her protruding hip bone as she shifted__._

_Something inside of me came alive. She was doing things to me. Great fucking things._

_My lips ghosted her shoulder as I __tried__ my best to kiss through the hair that was splayed out._

_She bucked below me and it jolted me back._

_It woke me up._

Waking up, I found Bella up against me and my hand on her hip just like how I had dreamed.

Had I kissed her in my sleep too?

I felt my morning glory press against her and instantly pulled back. She was asleep still. Her closed eyes and long brown hair making her look so innocent and way too young.

_Fuck._

I knew she had been doing things to me. But for me to act like that? I was disgusted with myself.

Creeping out of bed, I staggered to the bathroom in the hunt of a cold shower and to remind myself that I could never let her stay in my bed again.

_This couldn't go on. It couldn't happen__._

She needed to learn to grow up and stop acting like such a whining little girl and get on with things. So what if it was hard? Did she not think that we all got it a little hard sometimes? I shook the thoughts out of my head and jumped into the near ice temperature shower.

It worked. My muscles tensed up and my erection collapsed as all the blood left me, too distracted by the need to keep me warm.

I stayed under for more than what was needed. I was teaching myself a lesson. That you can't go around abusing people's daughters. Especially when they were people who you actually liked and that they owned a gun.

It became too much. I turned off the shower and reached for my towel. I climbed out the cubical, stood in front of the huge mirror and looked at myself.

I was slimmer, not as toned, and cut to hell. I hated the vision I was seeing and prayed that I could be just perfect again. But I knew that my prayer would fall on deaf ears because this was done for a reason. My own stupid vanity that still swirled in my mind.

I hated to look at myself and I wanted to be who I was. But did I really want to be in a world that meant I never understood? I had failed to see the simple things in life, too blinded with the money that came with the sparkly scalpel. It felt like my entire life I had been brain washed. That I had lived some great lie. And I suppose in a way, I had.

Looking in the mirror, this was who I was going to be for the rest of my days. _Not even second rate._

The thing that hurt the most was that no one wanted me anymore. No one was ever going to want me again. My growing attraction to Bella only hurt me more with the knowledge that she would never take a look at me in that way, anyway. I was never going to be desirable. The raging hard on was all a waist of blood.

I wanted to claim her, but she would never let me.

I dried myself off and tied the towel around my waist as I made it back out to the bedroom once again.

Bella sat up looking sleepy as she rubbed at her eyes looking up to me. She gave a small smile and called out, "Morning." Her voice was soft after her sleep and it was drawing me in to her again.

Crossing my arms, I looked back down at her but refused to greet her like she had me. "You better move. I don't want the others thinking that you stayed in here."

Her hand dropped and her face looked like I had actually hit her. Her bottom lip pouted as she swallowed hard and dropped her eyes, giving a meek nod.

"I-I'll be right out your way." And she was. She practically sprinted out my door with a face full of hurt.

The door closed quietly behind her and I hated myself.

_Why couldn't I just be nice__?_

* * *

_**Please review. What you thinking of Emmett and Rosalie – Are they going to spoil all the fun?**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Huge thank you to Ooza! **_

_**Chapters are getting bigger as we go.**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 8**

_**BPOV**_

I closed my room door and ran to my bed, hiding myself below the cold white covers.

Why was I letting him have this effect on me? He upset me and I ran away crying.

I was stronger than this. Why did I make myself need him? He made me feel safe and I went to him like he said I could. But it was all an act. It was kind words to put me at ease. Not a real offer.

I felt so, so stupid.

_Dumb_

_Naive_

The door quickly opened and closed and at my surprise, I jumped up to look to see who had come in.

Edward stood there, still wearing his towel with his eyes cast down to the floor. "I-I-I never meant what I said. For it to come out like that." His voice croaked as he looked up at me and swiftly back to the floor once again.

He stood there silent and held onto his towel. Beads of water rolled down his chest and drops fell from his hair. "You are a sweet girl, Isabella. But you are my responsibility and I just don't... I don't want it to look like I'm taking advantage of that."

He looked up at me once again and I shifted under his gaze. I nodded in response.

He nodded himself and let out a sigh. "I'll look after you. I'll do what you need me to do, but there are eyes and ears and they will see it all the wrong way." I could understand it, but why would it matter. They could say what they want and we could set them right. It was understandable, right?

He shifted on his feet a little before hesitantly making his way to my bed and sitting on the edge. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to wipe away the beads of water. Feel his damp skin below mine.

_Why did I have this thought?_

I clasped my hands together, scolding myself. Edward didn't want to be touched by me. I had tried twice already and he had stopped me from doing so.

But before I knew it, my hand was on his shoulder and he jumped up at the contact. It was then I realized it. I wanted to touch him because something passed though me when I did. Some volt of electricity.

He shrugged my hand off of him, and I retreated, clasping my hand once again. "Why can't I touch you?" My tone was like a child. I hated it. It sounded so petulant. No wonder he shrugged away from me if that's how I sounded.

He turned to me and held on tight to his towel. His body was strong. Lean and toned. He was beautiful, really. Even that scar made him beautiful.

"That's not the issue here, Isabella-"

"Bella," I interrupted him." I hated when he called me that.

He sighed. "Bella, what's important is that you are safe and you are protected, but that you don't become reliant on me." Was he serious? I wasn't reliant on him. Sure I went to him because he made me feel safe, but it was he who said that I could. Now he was pulling me up for it?

"Let me touch you." The words just came rushing out and I didn't know from where.

He just looked at me, blinking in confusion. "No," he eventually snapped. "It's my body. What would you say if it was the other way around?" he growled.

"I'd let you. I'd let you do whatever you wanted to me because I would trust you." What the hell was I saying? What world was I living in now? This wasn't normal or rational. It was psychotic.

I reached for his hand, pulling it away from the towel that he gripped. "Bella," he warned.

"Touch me and let me touch you." I fought with his tight grip on the material, determined to win. His hand released and I saw a flash of victory before he came at me, swiping me with his heavy arm, pushing me away from him and onto my back.

My breath was erratic and I lay on my back as I looked up at him, shocked by his sudden moment. His breath was ragged too and he was tring to intimidate me with a cutting look.

I wanted to be near him. I wanted him to lie down with me and I wanted him to put his hands on me. Why was I feeling like this? For him? _For the Beast?_

"Don't push me, Bella." his voice was low but he hissed his words out to show just how serious he was.

"Or what?" He loved to warn me, but what would he really do to me? He would never be brutal toward me. I just knew that he wasn't that type of person. He had been attacked; he had felt pain. He would never inflict it upon someone unless he felt that he was at a real risk. He had been the one to rescue me. I wasn't a risk.

"Bella," his voice warned again.

"Why do you do this? It's okay to be friends. No one will think that you are taking advantage. And who cares anyway?"

"I care," he argued. "I care what people will think. I care what it will look like to others. I'm not having you act like we have some friendly connection. I have a job, and you're it. I keep you safe."

I felt like trash. I felt like some little side project that didn't have thoughts or feelings.

I gathered myself up on my knees. "All I'm looking for is someone that I can talk to. Is that too much to ask? You kept me safe. Of course I trust you. I might not particularly like you, but trust is a hurdle and we managed to jump that fence first."

He let out a small dry laugh. "And when you go home? When it's safe and my life goes back to how it was?" Taking a seat, he seemed a little deflated.

I didn't know what to say. "You have Jasper and Alice," I tried in a whisper.

He shook his head. "They have to get back to their own life. And I think Alice will only be too happy of that."

Was he really going to be so alone? "I could visit?" I suggested. He didn't a word. He wiped at his neck, swatting the stray drops of water away. "I didn't mean to be rude, you know?" I explained. "I just-I thought-I don't know. I wanted to just feel it."

"And my face? Don't you want to feel that?" His aggregation was back and it was tainting his voice. That wasn't what this was about. His face never played part in my mind. Not anymore. Not really.

Okay, so it was still a thought, but a small one and it was only because it seemed so tragic.

"I wanted to feel your heart." I let out a little too honestly. Was it okay? He had been stabbed so close, it was bound to have done something to it. I wanted to see if there was permanent damage.

His head snapped at me and his eyes narrowed, but he never spoke. He turned away once more and rubbed at his face. "Isabella, I think it's best that we keep some distance after all. This isn't going to work otherwise. We can be civil, but you can't keep coming to me in the middle of the night, not anymore. Okay?" He seemed detached, but what could I say? I nodded, telling him yes.

With that, he got up and left me with the hollow feeling in my gut.

All I wanted was to talk to him.

* * *

Alice and Jasper left early, and with a promise to call me, Alice left a little hesitantly. She had made Rosalie promise to keep an eye to me and with a dutiful nod, she agreed.

I was quite able to look after myself and deal with Edward at the same time. Besides, he wanted some distance, so I would give it to him. He was right. Once I was gone, he would have nobody. And it was exactly what he deserved.

Nervously I picked at a few grapes that lay in the fruit bowl. I was so hungry, but it just felt wrong to go in the cupboards of a stranger. Especially since I hadn't been permitted to do so.

Rosalie walked in to the kitchen and slowed her pace as she spotted me. I quickly pulled my hand from the grapes, feeling guilty of my theft. "Eat away, Bella," she called as she reached over to the kettle and began to fill it up. "Have you had any breakfast yet?" She asked with a warm smile.

I was thrown by her warmer tone. She seemed a little frosty last night and now she was suddenly chatting away. I shook my head, answering her no.

She frowned. "You should, you know. Don't just pick on grapes. Just help yourself to what you want." She tucked a lock of golden hair behind her hair as she rested her hand on her baby bump and rested her backside along the edge of the counter.

She let out a breath of air as she looked in my direction. "Listen, Bella, about last night... you caught me off guard and I just don't want any bother. I'm sure you understand," she mumbled as she reached for a cup. "Do you want some tea?" she asked as she motioned to her own mug. I nodded taking it.

She gave a small laugh. "You don't need to be so shy. I've listened to Jasper and Alice. They assure me that you won't be throwing any wild parties or stunts while here and I'm fine with that. It is Edward's house too and he can have you here if he wants."

I nodded again.

She laughed and it sounded so carefree. "Can you still remember how to speak?" she asked as she reached for a second cup and placed the tea bags in them.

"Sorry," I mumbled out, the word catching in my throat. Just when I had begun to grow used to the new people in my life, they were up and gone and replacements left in their place.

She shook her head. "Don't be sorry. Just talk." She winked. "So where are you from, your dad, your mom, any brothers or sisters?" She rattled off the list nonchalantly, just trying to start any conversation.

I shifted in my seat. "Seattle. I've lived there my whole life. I live with my dad still. It's just the two of us, no brothers and no sisters. My mom passed away when I was seven."

Her head snapped in my direction as she fished the teabags out of the mugs. "I'm so sorry. That must have been really difficult to deal with." I shrugged. It had been hell. But it was the adapting to it that was so much harder. Growing up without her was awful.

She walked across to the kitchen island and placed down the cup in front of me "Milk, sugar?" she offered with the push of the little tea set that sat out.

I poured some sugar and milk as I shifted in my seat again. "What about you?" I tried.

"Forks. Been here a long time, though Emmett and I live in Port Angeles most of the time. My mom and dad retired and they live in Florida now. They got tired of the winters up here. No brothers or sisters for me either."

"And what about the baby?" I pushed.

Her smile widened. "He's due in twenty-seven days," she gave, matter-of-factly. "We can't wait; we are both just so excited with it all." She seemed to get more and more giddy by the second as she thought about it. It made my smile huge too. "I'm on rest just now. I had been working hard and I had a couple of scares, so Emmett dragged me out here to hide away until it was time." She held on to her cup tightly, sipping on her hot tea.

"When do you think you will be going back to Seattle?" she asked carefully. Was I intruding? She was about to have a baby and was here to keep well. Not for a strange girl to land on her door step.

"I'll go back soon." I rushed out, "I'll see if Edward can get a hold of my dad and I can get out of here as soon as possi-"

"No, no, no, Bella." She interrupted," "I wasn't chasing you out. I was wondering if you had some other plan. I know it can't be fun living with Edward." She fired her words out and gently grabbed at my forearm. "God, if he gives me one bad look for chomping down on all the chocolate I'm eating, he will be hanging from the chandelier."

I burst out laughing. So it wasn't only me who saw it? "I'm serious. He's so controlling and has to be in charge all the time. It's so frustrating. He wants nothing to do with us. I don't really know why. Perhaps because he knows Emmett is close to Esme and he can't stand her".

"Esme?" I questioned.

"Their mother. Bad blood and all that. It's all in Edward's head though, put there by that god awful man. I just wish Edward could see it, though. He's been missing out on a lot."

I only nodded. She was pretty forthcoming with the information and I was happy to listen to her.

"And now look at him. His poor face." She winced at the thought. "I wish he had told us. He might think we have no soul because we don't lay down to Carlisle's way of thinking, but it's not true. Emmett has missed him so much. It's not right for brothers to be like that." I could see the anger begin to boil in her and I placed my hand on her arm to calm her. It wouldn't be good for her baby.

She looked at me and blinked, realizing my concern.

"I'm sorry. That man... he just gets to me. But I need you to promise me something... Edward... he's use to getting his own way and I just don't want him to take advantage of his position." Edward's words from earlier flashed through my head. Perhaps he did know them after all. What they would already be thinking. "You are a very pretty girl, Bella. Young and maybe a little naive to the world around you. But don't be fooled by Edward Cullen. Keep him at arm's length."

Maybe they thought that they knew him. It seemed he had changed a lot since the last time they spoke. I could tell. She was saying one thing; Edward the other.

I shook my head. She was getting this wrong. "Edward is Edward. I know I don't know him well, but I know him well enough. He won't do anything wrong."

"Bella, sweetie, please just listen. Edward is sour. His only interests are money and how he looks. His vanity completely consumes him and others around him. Don't let him have any effect on you." She was too late for this warning, though that one had been quashed quick enough. "We don't even know what happened to Tanya," she said more to herself.

"Tanya?" I was sure I recognized the name from before. Maybe in conversion or maybe one of the times I had overheard their conversations.

"His girlfriend." She shrugged, a little unsure. I knew of no girlfriend. And why did I feel oddly jealous.

What would she think of me sharing a bed with him?

How could he have done that to her?

He should have put her feelings ahead of mine.

My eyes fell to my half empty cup. When would she make an appearance?

She glanced at her expensive looking watch and looked back to me. "I need to be leaving soon. There is a delivery at our house in Port Angeles so we need to be in for it. We plan to sort the house up a little too, for the baby."

I nodded, realizing that I was going to be left alone again. Just when I thought I'd found someone I could talk to.

"You can come with us?" She rose her brows, seeming hopeful, but I refused. This was private time for her and Emmett to prepare for their baby, not time for a stranger to invade their space.

"I have some work to do." I shrugged. "Online college course."

"Online, eh? That was well thought out." She gave a small laugh.

I shook my head. "I had a grant for my masters at State."

Her lips twitched nervously. "Sorry."

I shook off her apology. "Its fine. If it weren't for Edward, I'd be doing nothing right now."

She gave a small nod as she stood up. "I'll see you later, Bella. But just remember what I said." Her tone was concerned because she didn't realize that he had changed. I didn't know Edward from before, but I knew that he wasn't the man she thought he was.

With that, she left me for the day.

* * *

I had found myself in the study. Or would that be library? I was a little unsure what to call it, all I knew was that there were more books than I could count and large antique desks all over the place. It was beautiful, though. It seemed like some kind of old research room. I liked it.

I had hid here for the day, immersed with my study, with enough space to spread out all of my notes.

I hoped Edward wouldn't mind that I had set up here, but I had yet to see him again. I was keeping at a distance just like he asked of me.

My neck was sore and stiff and the pain ran down through my back and shoulders. I had sat hunched over all day and was ready to stretch out and enjoy the warmth of the bed I had been appointed.

I had eaten breakfast and hunger was screaming out in my stomach, looking for fuel to fill it.

I still really didn't like the idea of going through the kitchen, though, but what else could I do? Closing the laptop, I made my way to the kitchen to find Edward searching through its contents too.

"Hungry?" he asked rather pointedly.

"Yes." I tried not to let this morning affect me but it had. I couldn't just forget about it all.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked the million dollar question. I had been given my meals every night and not a word was said about them, but I had the feeling that if I suggested the wrong thing, Edward would take offence.

"Anything." I shrugged, giving the safest answer.

He turned his head to look at me. "I asked what you want?" His voice was assertive.

"What have you got?" The second safest answer and most likely the best one.

He frowned and his green eyes looked back into the cupboards in front of him. "Good point." I smiled. I felt smug. He pushed through the contents with his hands, searching.

Giving up, he closed the doors and moved swiftly onto the fridge before quickly swinging it shut again. "Nothing," he grumbled as he tugged on the hood that he always seemed to wear. Did he have a few of the same ones or was he just good at his laundry?

"Takeout?" I reasoned. It would save cooking and any dishes.

He looked at me and I really didn't know what to make of that look. "We can't do that. Someone might see us." he huffed rubbing at his hairy face.

"You really think the delivery boy is going to let some Seattle drug dealer know where we are?" It was, of courses, a rhetorical question. But when did that stop Edward?

"Maybe." His lip pouted. Was he being serious? He let out a sigh and crossed his arms. "Someone might recognize me or they might get freaked out when they see my face."

"We get delivery and I answer the door. You know, Edward, it isn't so hard." He was making a mountain out of a mole hill.

"What do you want?" he asked curtly as he began to rake through drawers, no doubt in search of menus.

"Pizza?" I tried. Everyone liked pizza. It was a safe option.

He nodded and pulled out a menu and handed it to me. "Order what you want." His words a mere mumble. He was so frustrating after this morning. Why did I have to push so far? I was just some stupid girl he had to look after. He didn't need to know me to keep me safe, right?

Looking through the menu I broke my view to glanced up at him, motioning for him to give me some hint or suggestion of what he liked. He turned away, ignoring me. "Is Hawaiian okay?" I called to his back.

He turned to face me. "One of your five a day is it?" His voice was low but his sarky comment didn't go unnoticed. "Have what you want. I'm not having any." He spoke a little louder and clearer this time.

I narrowed my eyes at his attitude. Two could play this game.

"Where are we?" I asked as I turned in the direction of the cordless phone that lay cradled in the holder against the wall.

"The kitchen." His tone was just so damn patronizing, but he didn't understand my question. He actually blushed when I waved the phone in the air. He understood now.

"What is your address? And you get no points for looking stupid." After all my studying, I felt strangely giddy. I was ready to take on Edward and his attitude. Rosalie had warned me and I was taking heed. He might not be the same guy she thought he was, but he could still be a little too cutting at times. I wouldn't stand for it. Not anymore.

Soon enough the pizza was delivered. With the argument of me wanting to pay for the only thing I had been able too afford, Edward won and I continued to grumble in loss.

He paid and I sat in the kitchen at the island with the box of warm, fresh pizza in front of me. I had actually missed this, some kind of fattening food.

I knew Edward was anal about health, but I was beginning to lose weight and I wasn't standing for it.

Edward walked into the kitchen with that patronizing look, so I offered him a slice. "You want some? You're looking awfully hungry," I teased. What was he going to do? Eat nothing? That was ridiculous and even he would know that.

"I haven't had pizza in almost ten years, Bella. Why would I start now?" he asked as he poured orange juice into a glass.

My mouth dropped open at his revelation. _How was that possible?How could he not have had pizza in ten years?_

"How is that possible?" I asked even though my mouth was full. I had no time for manners on this one. _Was he serious?_

"You get out what you put in. Remember that?" His brow rose up as if he really proud of that fact. There was no doubt that he was, though.

"So, tell me, in your world of perfection, am I fat?" I swallowed down the pizza and eyed him up seriously. I wanted to know how deep this obsession of his went.

He choked on his juice and looked at me. He seemed mad. "Is that what you think? That I want you slimmer than you already are?" His voice grew and I felt myself hunch down onto my seat. "You think I would force you to lose weight so that I would think you're perfect?"

I hesitantly nodded a yes.

"Of course not. It's just how I eat. It's healthy, though I really do wish you would eat more than you do," he snapped.

"But that's how much I do eat, Edward. It's a lot for me, generally. You work out and burn it off and eat more and more. I don't. And I'm a girl. We store things differently," I tried to argue back. We were all different and the strict diet Edward ate may be fine for him, but it wasn't for me.

"What are you getting at? You want more pizza because I'll buy you another ten tonight if you think I'm trying to make you slim down." He paced the floor and the anger rolled off of him.

"Edward," I struggled. "I'm losing weight." I honestly believed that I didn't need to lose anymore weight. I was already slim. Not celebrity, size zero, skinny. But just slim. I didn't aspire to be anyone else, or even look for perfection in the way Edward did. I was happy as I was, and I didn't like that I was changing.

He stopped and looked at me with the pizza in my hand. "I know this isn't the healthiest thing to eat, but I need to get calories from somewhere. I eat quite healthy normally, but it's about give and take. You-your body is magnificent and I can see that you work hard to keep it in shape. But I'm a girl. I have curves and I have a little bit fat on my belly. I don't have a six pack and I don't looked toned at all. I'm me and I'm happy with who I am. It was a struggle growing up and dealing with no confidence and... well, Edward, I know I'm not a super model... and I'm okay with that." I nodded, sure of myself. I had body hang ups, but I refused to let them get the better of me, and I wasn't letting anyone inflict them on me either.

Now it was his turn for his mouth to fall open. "You've lost weight?" he asked, shocked.

I shrugged. "Well, some of my clothes are a little loose fitting."

He looked at me blankly before he spoke again. "I'm sorry. I never meant for anything like that."

Did I want to worry him or have him freak out? Not really. It wasn't so bad. I had kept a slight balance with the junk food Alice had bought me, but I knew that without that, I would loose more weight. "I'm fine. It's only a tiny bit. It will go back up," I assured him.

He smiled and the look on his face made me flinch almost. I tried to hide it. His scars could just be so horrific at times. It was such a shame. I couldn't help but pity him. The beard that was growing only made it look worse. I believed he was truly trying to hide it.

He sat down beside me and I nudged the box in his direction, only for him to shake his head and refuse.

"Edward, you're hungry. It won't kill you." I hoped. I just wanted him to eat. It made me worried.

He didn't say a word; he only drank his fresh orange juice.

Lifting a slice out the box, I waved it under his nose, desperate to lure him into having a slice. It wasn't that I didn't believe he shouldn't eat like he does, it was more that he just needed to let go a little. Rosalie was right. He was controlling, but he was the most controlling when it came to himself.

He rolled his lips and gave in. He grabbed the slice out my hand so quickly I almost missed it. He bit into it and his eyes closed as he savored the taste. He licked his lips as he chewed, his eyes still firmly closes as he revelled in losing control.

I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. He had gone so long without it, simply because he was so regimented in his eating. I really didn't believe his control to be healthy at all. Especially if this was his delight in its taste.

I wondered how long he had gone without popcorn. He had refused me on that and finally gave up. But I was sure that was only to get me eating it.

His eyes opened and they sparkled in delight. His crooked smile seemed appealing now and I smiled back, taking a bite of my own slice.

He chewed on another piece as we watched each other eat. It was strange. It seemed almost intimate.

We looked away from each other briefly, only for our eyes to quickly meet once again. This time he had crumbs in his thick stubble.

I laughed and reached forward to brush it off. Edward grabbed hold of my hand, startled by my movement. His grip was strong and the look of joy fell off of his face as he looked at me, wounded.

"You-You have crumbs," I quickly rushed out. His look was still stony, but he put down the pizza and wiped his own face while he still held onto my hand. He got the crumbs off and I smiled, silently telling him he removed it.

After he let go of my hand, I continued on my journey and touched his face. He was momentarily distracted with the pizza he had sat down and at my touch he jumped back, tumbling from the stool and onto the cold white marble floor.

He crashed down to the floor and smacked his head off of it as he went and I rushed to his side to check that he was okay.

He was momentarily stunned though.

"Edward." I called to him, desperate for him to look at me. "Edward." The panic filled me as he looked around everywhere but me, never focusing. His hood was down and I could see his messy hair, cut all uneven. If he was so vain, why did he hide like this? His beard and the hair. It was like he didn't care. But I knew he did. His eyes eventually landed on mine and it was a moment of realization for him, that I had caused him to fall.

He took a deep breath before struggling quickly to his feet and pushing me away in the process. He went speeding out the room without a word and I was left with my own thoughts of stupidity.

_Why did I try to touch him?_

Tears began to fall from my eyes. He seemed so scared at the thought of me touching him.

It made me wonder, who was the one really hiding away here?

* * *

I couldn't eat my pizza. Not after that. Instead I went to the study and sat in silence. I didn't do anything. I only thought about Edward.

Emmett had called earlier to say that he and Rosalie were staying at their home for the evening as the deliver guys had arrived late and Rosalie was tired. I had yet to pass the message on to Edward, despite speaking to Emmett over four hours ago.

The grand clock in the study chimed to let me know it was now midnight.

Thirteenth of September. It was now officially my birthday. I was twenty-two and I was completely alone.

I was scared to go to Edward as I had already pushed so much but I needed to tell him about Emmett. Then again, he hadn't come down when the phone had rung. If I was honest, I just wanted to see that he was okay. That he was safe and that he wasn't hurt.

Stupidity won out and before I knew it I was standing outside his bedroom door and holding onto the door handle.

Gently knocking on the door, I let myself in.

His room was dark and I cursed myself for not considering that he was asleep. It was late and it had been a long day. He needed his rest. I began to close the door and then he called out to me, turning on a lamp on his bed side table. "Bella, are you all right?" _He was concerned about me?_

I was fine. It was me who was worried about him.

Opening the door, I smiled at him and nodded. "I was just letting you know that Emmett and Rosalie won't be home."

He nodded. "I know. I picked up the phone in here." His eyes looked at me confused. "That was hours ago. Now you're telling me?" Hell, he had me there.

"I just though you wanted to be alone." I wanted any excuse to run to him and check that he was okay, but I knew that he wanted space.

He sat up and nodded. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. I just don't want you touching me. Please." He was begging?

I bit on to my lip feeling nervous. He wasn't shouting, he wasn't mad... and that was getting to me. He seemed so vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," I croaked out.

He waved me off. "Don't be. Just don't push me, Bella. For your own sake."

Slowly I crept closer to his bed, and folding a leg below me, I sat down. "I don't mean to be such a burden... or such a kid either for that matter. I suppose I just need something a bit more real. I feel like I'm losing my mind and that I'm alone." I wasn't going to shed tears. "I never meant anything by it. I-I-I just wanted to feel your face... the stubble." God I was sounding pathetic. I straightened up. "I'm sorry. I'll keep a distance." I attempted a smile "I promise this time."

He laughed at me a little and nodded.

The room turned silent as we sat there. One looking at the other. "It's after midnight," he told me and I nodded.

"I know, I should get to bed," I agreed.

"No, no, no." He shook his head. "I say we celebrate the only way we can and get drunk." He bounced to his feet. I looked up at him confused. He reached for his hooded top and zipped it up over his bare chest and pulled the hood up, hiding away again.

"What are we celebrating?" I asked confused.

"Your birthday. And may I just ask, were you ever going to tell me?" I looked up at him surprised. How did he know?

I suppose he had seen my ID when he saved me. But had he looked that closely? "How do you know that?" I asked a little surprised.

He shrugged. "I might just have got a little text from your dad earlier, asking me to give you his best and the promise of _Stephans_ when you get back home."

It was our tradition after my mum passed away. It was just us two and no cake. I didn't want a cake and I liked it just being the two of us. It was quiet and simple and I was going to miss him so much today.

It warmed my heart that he was thinking about me. I wasn't out of sight, out of mind, after all.

Edward tugged on my hand and pulled me with him, out of the room and all the way down to the kitchen. I laughed as he sat me at the island before he cornered the unit and disappeared below the counter. It was a little out of character for him to say the least.

He quickly reappeared with a bottle of Tequila in one hand and shot glasses in the other. This was going to be messy, but I let myself go and just enjoyed this other side of Edward. He was going out of his way to do something for me.

I felt nervous though. I wasn't a big drinker and I really wasn't sure how much I could handle, especially after I had eaten pretty much nothing all day. Edward sat down beside me and opened the new bottle of liquor. He poured our glasses and slid mine over to me.

I took it in between my thumb and index finger and eyed it cautiously.

"You do drink, don't you?" he asked and suddenly. I could see him worry, as if I might have been offended.

"I do, but I'm telling you now, I'm a cheap date." He laughed and nodded.

"That's okay. I am too." His smile was wicked, and as he rose his glass, he arched his brow in uncertainty. "To you, Bella. I hope I can at least try to make up for the birthday that you will be missing."

I nodded my thanks before we both knocked back the burning liquid down our throats. I let out a small cough when it hit my insides.

I was right. This was going to be messy. But I still looked forward to it and my time with Edward.

* * *

We sat on the floor, slouched against the couch.

Edward held the tequila close to him, the bottle near empty. "All right, all right." He tried to calm me and my giggles. The night was late and I was growing hazy, but I didn't see it ending any time soon. "When me and Jasper were eighteen, we got stoned." I gasped in total shock of the controlled Edward that I knew. "It was his doing," he protested. "I just went along with it. It was our first week of college and after it, I threw up for the next day. But I can't be sure if it was that or the ten cans of beer I had with it."

I laughed and shook my head in amazement. "Okay but what about your twenty-second birthday? What did you do for that?" His stories had been sedate, and with the exception of him and Jasper smoking some pot, it wasn't all that hard core. It certainly wasn't what I expected to hear from a man reminiscing about his "wilder days." He was surprisingly innocent.

"Me and Jasper went for dinner." He shrugged. I waited for the punch line, the moment of the night that was funny, crazy... something. But nothing.

"And?" I pushed.

"And that was it. The year before – my twenty-first - I went out to a bar with Jasper and a few others and got absolutely trashed. I came clattering though the house the next morning and proceeded to be sick for the next three hours, starting on the staircase and leading to my bathroom." I laughed, but Edward didn't. His face changed, and I could see he was deep in thought.

"So you took the safe approach the next again year?" I questioned.

"Something like that." His words a mere mumble. "My dad said I wasn't allowed to drink after that. So I didn't." He shrugged.

If people said Edward was controlling, they were mistaken. It sounded to me that his father was the one pulling his strings.

"When was the last time you drank?" I asked carefully.

He frowned and looked at me. His eyes sparkled again, but it wasn't joy. He seemed so lost.

"My twenty-first." His voice hitched in his throat.

"So this is your first drink in nine years?" I asked, gob-smacked.

He nodded. "Pizza and alcohol were cut out the same day. I-I just wasn't allowed it." He wasn't allowed it? Why not? Okay, so I wasn't saying that he should go out and get hammered every weekend or that he should eat all the crap in the world, but to refrain from them for nine years...

"Why did you want to drink tonight then?" I pulled in closer to him rested my hand on his knee and tried to be some form of support for him. He was clearly going through some changes in life.

"It was your birthday. I thought it would be fun just to let go. I never finished my pizza," He sounded devastated, as if that slice of pizza were some key to another existence and he was trying desperately to find it again.

"There is still pizza left if you want some." I tried my hardest to make him smile, but he shook his head, refusing me.

"Maybe later. I'm enjoying this just now." He reached for my empty glass and filled it up before picking up his own and filling it too. "To us," he stated. "May you have a life of your own, Bella, and hope for me to find one, too." A lump formed in my throat as I watched Edward drink away his misery. There was a lot of untapped grief in this boy. I wished he would unload.

I drank my shot down and I felt it warm my body once again but it didn't burn like it had the first time. I pulled in closer to him once again and linked my arm through his, resting my head on his shoulder. "Do you still want to touch me?" His question caught me off guard. It sounded a little crude but I knew what he meant.

I looked up and him and nodded. I wanted to feel his heart and check that he was really okay. I only wished now that I could do the same with his mind.

Pulling back, I watched him unzip his top. He kept his hood still firmly over his head but he revealed his beautiful body to me. He sat there with his boxers on and his hooded top open. His chest was bare with only a few hairs on it. I couldn't believe he was begin so open with me.

I reached forward to touch him and he took my hand in his before gently placing it over his heart.

The rhythm of his heart was smooth and in time. I relaxed in the knowledge that he seemed to be well. I let my hand stay there and he made no effort to move me. My index finger traced along the length of his scar and he looked deep into my eyes, waiting for a response. I only smiled softly at him and his drunken bravery.

Pulling my hand away from his chest, he placed it on his cheek. Edward allowing me to cup his face as he closed his eyes. His grip on me was strong but I savoured it.

"You know, I like it better when I can see your face." His eyes snapped open and glared at me but he didn't move my hand. "I mean, when you're shaved. Do you not like shaving?"

He shrugged. "It just hides my face better," he explained.

I nodded and bit my lip, thinking. Would he take offence if I offered to shave his face? "Can-Can I shave it off?" I asked cautiously as I waited and gauged his reaction. His features shadowed and I dropped my head in his silent refusal. I was asking too much of him.

He rubbed at his scruff and I looked back up at him to see that he was thinking it over. "Will you be careful of my scars?" he asked softly.

"Of course," I promised. "I just think you look so much better without all this." I tugged at the whiskers on his chin.

"I don't think I look good any way, but I'll go with it. It's beginning to annoy me a little now." He seemed light in mood, and I hoped that it would last the night. I nodded before getting up from the floor and onto my feet. Reaching for his hand, I pulled him up beside me and he got to his feet too, happy to follow me. We walked up the staircase and I headed for Edwards bedroom, knowing everything we needed would be in his bathroom.

He held on to my hand the whole way. I stopped him just in front of the mirror as I stumbled forward but caught myself. Maybe I was a little more drunk than I thought I was.

We laughed and he helped to right me on my feet. He held on to my waist and lifted me up onto the counter.

I gasped.

Edward looked at me as I hopped off off the unit. It was soaking wet, and I had very successfully managed to soak my jeans. "Oh, it's all wet," I complained as I pulled the damp material away from my thighs. "I'm soaking," I yelped again as Edward tried to hold in his laughter at my expression, no doubt.

I sighed and ordered him to dry it up as I loosened my jeans and remove them. I had on underwear and I had seen Edward in only a towel on a few occasions. We could be adults about the whole thing.

Turning around though, I was met with Edward's saucer eyes.

Okay, so perhaps I wasn't that comfortable with the situation. I narrowed my eyes at him, lifted a clean towel off of the pile and wrapped it around my waist. Decent once again.

Once again, Edward Helped me up onto the unit and I reached over to turn on the hot water.

I let the sink fill and looked for the shaving foam. Edward stood there patiently the fulltime, swaying every so often. "We should have brought the tequila," he commented with some sarcasm as I brought the razor up to his face. For his cheeky words, I playfully slapped him on the arm.

He continued to sway on the spot, so I held him still with my legs, wrapping them around his middle. He was laughing at the situation, but he placed his hands on the tops of my legs to help keep himself still. This was risky. We were both drunk and I didn't want to be calling an ambulance in the middle of the night.

Tilting his head up, I started at the base of his neck, stroking upwards and freeing him of his thick stubble. He watched me in the mirror, and at times he would just look into my eyes. It was a little off putting, so I had him keep his eyes to the mirror behind me so he could see what I was doing.

"Have you ever done this before?" he asked as I cleaned out the stubble in the razor between strokes.

"No," I replied. "Has anyone done this to you before?" I asked. I wanted him to tell me no, that I was the only person to get to be this close.

"No," he blew out toward me. I smiled at the thought.

"You know what you're doing," he pushed.

Smiling up at him, I stopped briefly. "Years of leg shaving." I smirked, and he laughed and nodded before I got back to his face once again. Pink lines began to show, his scars coming to the light after being hidden in the scruff. I couldn't help but smile. He was looking normal again – at least normal to me.

A thick drop of watery foam landed on his hooded top. he removed it, letting it slide off of his strong broad shoulders and onto the floor at his feet.

He stood in front of me in only his boxers with my legs wrapped around him. And I felt nervous.

This was intimate. It wasn't sexual, but it was intimate. I had never been in this position with another man before. Edward was wide open to me and he was trusting me.

His fingers nervously fumbled with my towel and I could see that he was beginning to realize how close we were. But I liked it, and I wasn't going to push him away. I only wanted him closer.

I smiled up at him as I wiped his face clear of the shaving foam and could see Edward in doubt about how he looked. I really didn't think that he liked the stubble, but he didn't like the scars either. The question was, what could he live with? "What do you think?" I asked as he looked deep into my eyes.

"I think you have the most beautiful eyes ever." His tone was so soft and caring. _What? _Where did that come from? I sat there stunned before I nervously laughed.

A smirk crossed his lips as he continued to gaze down at me. His hand rose as he reached for my hair, tucking it back into position.

_I forgot to breath._

The look in his eyes was searching my soul. I wanted to pull away but I couldn't. Instead I looked deep into his and reached for his hair.

I had to snap myself out of this. I had to do it now.

I turned my eyes to his hair and looked at my hands deep in the bronze messed up mass. It needed a cut.

I found my equilibrium and shook our moment away. "I can cut your hair for you. I mean, it won't be great, but it'll be better." The words seemed foreign as they stumbled off of my tongue. I was still caught up in the moment in my mind.

My eyes met his once again and they held a deep pensive look in them that was directed at me. Did he want to know something? Was he too shy to ask? Edward – _never_.

"I know it's not great for your hair, but I could use some kitchen scissors." I shrugged and hoped that they had a pair.

He only nodded and at his allowance, I slid down form the unit, with the delayed help of Edward, and went to search for a pair of scissors in the kitchen.

I could fix up the raggedy bits that were entirely too long and it would hopefully make him feel a little bit better, a little more confidant. I could tell he had been a confidant man, but after his attack, he was stripped of that and lived in hiding.

Making my way back to the bathroom, I slowed as I watched Edward look in the mirror inspecting his scars. "They're getting better," I told him honestly. The dark pink scar tissue was turning slightly lighter.

Looking back to me in the mirror, he didn't seem to believe my words as his eyes fell to the unit top.

"Also, you should try arnica gel. My friend swears by it. He fell off of his motorbike and it healed up his arm not to badly. And a little quicker," I added. He only gave a small nod as he kept his eyes downcast.

Walking up to him, I held up the scissors to him. "Still drunk enough to let me cut that hair?" I laughed, trying like hell to lighten his tone again. He could get lost in thought so easy and just withdraw from the situation.

Turing to face me, he held my waist as he placed me back down on the counter top. This was going to be tricky. He was so tall.

_Oh well._

Releasing my waist, my tied towel came undone and Edward was quick to cover my modesty by firmly resting the towel against my legs.

Looking up to him, our eyes met. "Ready?" I asked, excited to get to fix up his hair.

"As I'll ever be." He smirked as he rose an eyebrow. The alcohol was showing on him, as I was sure it was on me. But this would be fun and it would fix up the mess up a little.

I nodded and reached forward into his hair, careful not to cut it too short. I didn't have a clue what I was doing, but I prayed for a small miracle that this would turn out all right.

I worked away on it, Edward trying to see it whenever he could in the mirror. The scissors sliced through the beautiful red color. It was a shame to cut such nice hair, but it would make it look better – hopefully.

I got him to turn around and I could see the tension in his shoulders. Worry encased him as I worked away. I felt panic rise in me that he was being as trusting as he was, even though he was concerned about the outcome, even if he didn't say it.

I trimmed up the back a little, but I didn't want to cut in too deep and make a mess that was too hard to fix.

Swiping away the dry hair that fell on to his bare shoulders, he relaxed a little. I gave a small blow to remove the suborn strands that didn't seem to move.

"We're all done." I chimed out, feeling really quite proud of myself for how well I had done. Maybe it was a hidden talent.

Slowly he turned back to me and looked in the mirror. Nerves pitted in my stomach while I waited for his reaction.

His hands skimmed his head, feeling and dusting off his hair. His head turned from side to side as he inspected my work.

I was going to burst if he didn't say something.

"I like it." He smiled down at me.

My own mouth widened in disbelief that I had actually managed to do it right. And for him to like it. "Really?" I asked, still a little disbelieving.

"Yeah. You really did a decent job." He admired his hair in the mirror some more.

I just laughed because this night was just so, so strange.

After our huffing and puffing this morning, we were getting along fine – albeit with a bottle of Tequila between us. He smiled down at me and rested his hands on my towel covered legs.

"See, a little tidy up and I got you looking hot again," I joked but still blushed at the same time. _Brain filter anyone?_

"Hot?" he questioned with raised brows.

"Hot," I confirmed, placing my hands over his and turned my face away from him to hide my blush.

His thumbs stroked my legs from over the material and something in the atmosphere changed. The air became thick. Looking back up to him, his green eyes gazed down into mine intensely onceagain.

I left my hands where they were, too drawn to him to even move.

He quickly dampened his lips with his tongue and my eyes darted to his mouth and back to his eyes.

I swallowed hard and felt myself grow warm. He just kept looking at me. His eyes were burning into mine and I couldn't look away. I didn't want to.

His grip on my legs tightened somewhat and before I knew what was happening, he was moving toward me, breaking past my personal space.

He stopped shy of my lips and I could feel his breath on my mouth. My heart rate picked up as I waited for him to do something. Was he really going to kiss me?

_And why wasn't I trying to stop him?_

The tension grew and grew and I thought he would never do it. His breath only continued in small calm waves. It was me who was losing my breath.

I had stopped breathing altogether.

"Breath, Bella," he told me in the lowest of whispers. His tone was dripping with something that I wasn't use to from Edward. It was husky.

I took in a breath at his order, and as I did, he reached forward, kissing me on the lips.

My inhale caught in my lungs, and I once again stopped breathing as I felt his mouth against mine.

_Was this really happening__?_

* * *

_**Please review**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Huge, massive appology to you all. I know its been a long time since a UD and I try to make up for it with 35 pages. RL is hectic and been in hospital and my health has been slipping pretty fast along with trying to keep up with online courses. The next ud should not take as long next time. **_

_**Also Thanks to the amazing Ozza for fixing this up for me. I have however lost the corrections she gave me on the last third so its unbeta'd. Sorry!**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 9**

_**EPOV**_

Wakning up, I felt the odd sensation of another body in my arms. It wriggled below my embrace and I felt hair tickle my chest.

What had happened?

Slowly I opened my eyes to look see who was lying in my grip, and I wasn't too surprised to find Bella there.

She was still sound asleep, and as I took her in, her relaxed features looked so soft. I fought to slide out from under her, without disturbing her sleep and leaving her to rest. Shifting, I realized I was without any boxers... or anything on at all.

_What had happened?_

I closed my eyes and prayed that nothing untoward had happened.

_We were drunk._

I took my chance to quickly look under the covers, and when I did, I could see Bella was also without clothes too.

_Shit._

Placing down the cover, I pretended not to see a thing. I wasn't going to be that person who had taken advantage last night.

_What had gone on last night?_

Looking around the room, I found my boxers on the floor and I felt sick. I knew what I had done. We had slept together, and I had taken advantage of Bella.

Rushing and stumbling into the bathroom I stopped in my tracks as I looked in the mirror. My face was shaved and my hair was cut.

Flashes of Bella with the razor came back to me. _It all came flooding back to me._

_Her legs wrapped around my waist as she shaved my face. Her fingers through my hair as she trimmed it up. Me, unable to control myself and leaning in to kiss her._

I thought back to it all.

_When my lips landed on hers, I couldn't stop myself. I pushed harder and harder, our kiss growing deeper every moment._

_I kissed her neck and she tilted her head to allow easier access. I had felt her nails bite into my shoulder as I went._

I was remembering it all. I wished I could forget about it, but on another level, I didn't want to ever just let it slip into oblivion.

_I slid my hands up her towel and let it fall to the side as I gripped onto her bottom, pulling her center closer to me._

Her smell floated thought my head. I stepped back away from the counter, the counter that I had managed to lure her from, I looked back out into the room to see her still resting peacefully in my bed.

_Yeah, because I had got her drunk and had my way with her._

The thought disgusted me so much. This was why I couldn't drink. Losing control of myself like that was unacceptable. Even to have kissed her was wrong. Never mind this.

Pictures of her below me suddenly came firing into my mind. Her back arching as she lay naked on my mattress.

Shaking my head clear, I could see her as she was right now, and that was sleeping.

Closing the door to the night before, I turned on the shower and stepped below the hot flow, leaving Bella to rest in the hopes that it would all just dissipate.

What was I thinking of even drinking in the first place? It had all started from that slice of god damned pizza that she practically forced me to eat.

I wanted it, but it was so damn hard to actually eat it. But I had. I had taken a bite and it was great.

It had been pushed into my mind time and time again that it was unacceptable to eat that. That it was what second rate commoners would feast on, only to end up fat and with major health problems.

My whole life I had been told what to eat and when, and now I was beginning to see that if I weren't perfect, maybe I could eat those things too.

But if I never aimed for perfection, what did I aim for?

_What did Bella aim for?_

I thought about those brown eyes that had quashed all my fears – along with the tequila – and it made me unafraid. I wanted to see what it was like if i just took what I wanted, but all that had ended up happening was creating a bigger mess than what we started with.

How were we going to live in the house together now? How were we going to pretend that everything was normal, especially with Emmett and Rosalie due back later today?

Resting my head on the cold tile, I thought about the words I could say to try and fix this.

I couldn't have this going on. I was keeping her safe, I wasn't meant to be screwing her.

Charlie would kill me if he ever found out.

Bella flashed through my mind again as she gripped at my hair once again, but this time I was inside her, pounding out my pleasure, not her trying to trim the mess up.

The thoughts that flooded my mind were making me hard again. I still wanted her. I had wanted her since I had begun to watch her. Her staying with me was my time to get to know her, and though she could be hard work, it wasn't really something that I wasn't deserving of.

That night with the popcorn, I hated that I was getting into her mind with the same rules that had been forced on me. Bella wasn't super confident, but she was comfortable in her skin and here I came along and started telling her she was wrong.

_Who the hell was I to say that?_

And not only that, my strict diet had went tumbling onto her and now she was fading away. Like she needed to lose a damn pound. She needed more weight on her, not to start losing it.

She was perfect.

_She really was._

Before, if I were to have met her, I would have told her to get a boob job or something ridiculous because I thought that was the way she should have been. I made my living on women basing themselves on celebrities with more fake than real and I was agreeing to this, telling them that this was the way that they should be._ I encouraged them._

I could only begin to think about the amount of women I had told _"Maybe you could go up another cup."_

Bella's chest was anything but large, but god she was still stunning. Her small chest complimented her frame, her natural frame. Delicate and so damn delectable.

I wished that I could go back to her, to my bed and be with her. I was drawn to her and at all my attempts to stay far from her, I failed completely. I kept going back to her almost instantaneously. I was hooked.

As soon as she came to my room, I didn't want her to go away. She was going to leave me and go to bed so I used Charlie's texts to help me out and all I could think about was taking her somewhere, buying her something. But I had nothing to give her and I sure as hell wasn't leaving the house, so I stooped to stupidity and pulled out the tequila.

I cut off the hot water, not even bothering to switch it to cold, to cool me and my running mind down.

I dried off and as I stood in front of the mirror, I took a deep look at my face.

_Hot._

She said I was hot. It was a juvenile term, but I could tell she was trying to be light-hearted. But did she find me attractive? Could she see anything beyond the scars?

I doubted it. It was impossible for her to like someone scarred like me. A life in hiding. I couldn't see it and I couldn't be surprised.

I didn't even have the good in me for her to find something to love.

My face felt better though, and as I towel dried my hair, it sat without looking ridiculous. The scars on my head were almost hidden when it was dry enough. Perhaps I could get rid of the hood.

I remembered taking it off last night, and at the memory, I looked over to the spot it had been kicked too. It was pressed up against the indent at the bottom of the unit from when I had moved in closer to Bella. It had got caught up in my feet and I had pushed it away with my toes.

Looking at the surrounding area, it was still covered in my clipped hair. I needed to clean it up and get my room tidied and Bella out of it before Emmett arrived back.

Walking out to the room, Bella was still peacefully sleeping. I rushed to my drawers to reach my clothes and dressed with clean boxers and sweat bottoms.

Catching my breath, I watched her sleep. Her long dark hair covered her bare back as she lay on her front. Her head turned out to the side and her perfect lips, that I could never recreate, appeared all bee stung and swollen from our kissing.

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and eventually fixed upon mine.

What the hell was I going to say now?

How was I going to deal with this?

What would I tell her?

What if she hated me?

_What if she wanted more?_

She screwed up her eyes and rubbed at them as she sat up in bed. Noticing her nudity her face dropped.

Her eyes glanced down onto herself before returning to me, looking for me to verify what had happened.

"We-we..." her words caught and stumbled and she didn't get far.

I did what I had to do. I said what I had to say, simply because I couldn't acknowledge this. I couldn't admit that I had screwed up.

I Looked her squarely in the eye. "Nothing happened, Bella," I told her firmly with some detachment. Her face changed and in my mind it was over with – it never happened. "Let's just forget about last night and everything that happened. It meant nothing."

Her brown eyes bore into mine, absorbing my words, taking them in. She gave a small nod, understanding that it had to be forgotten about and never discussed again.

Her eyes fell to her lap once again. I stood from my chair, reached for a t-shirt, headed for the door and walked out leaving her alone.

* * *

Sitting in the kitchen, I felt like hell. One being hungover and two, the way I had left Bella in my room. I couldn't suddenly just decide to grow a conscience now that she was here.

I had made a royal fuck up, and the only way to recover from that was to deny it happened.

I mean, what proof did she have? Denial was my best option.

I dissolved some pain killers that I had managed to find, and as I waited for them to dissolve, I couldn't help but look over at the pizza box that still lay on the counter.

Bella's plate sat out with only half of it eaten and there were only two bites out of my slice. The rest of the pizza was still in the open box. Cold and the cheese solid. I couldn't help but just stare at it. It almost brought me down yesterday. Tempted to believe that it could give me something else.

What the hell was pizza going to give me except coronary heart failure?

Bella came crashing in moments later, and I believe crashing is the right term with the nose she created._ Did she have to be so loud?_

She opened and slammed cupboards as she looked thought them before pulling out the coffee and the filters for the coffee maker.

"Can you make any more noise?" I bit at her. Clearly she was annoyed over something.

Before I knew it, she had launched an empty mug in my direction. It only just skimming past my head. I heard it crash to the floor and knew it had smashed without even having to look.

_Fuck. What was her problem?_

My eyes snapped up at her, narrowing. "Something wrong?" I asked, trying not to show that her mug throwing had gotten to me, even though it almost sent me off of my seat.

"Something wrong?" she asked rhetorically as she banged down the canister of sugar. "Something wrong?" she asked again. "Let me think, Edward. You screw me and told me to forget all about it," she shouted as she picked up another mug, luckily this time putting sugar into it. "Do you know how you just made me feel?" she growled as she turned to face me.

"Bella...I don't know what you're talking about," I lied. What was I doing? _What I did best – covering up the shit._

She turned to me and folded her arms, her eyes glaring at me. "Really? So your hair and your face...who did that for you?" She eyed me up waiting for my answer.

"Y-y-you," I stumbled out, and she nodded.

"And what happened after that? You know, after we practically drank a full bottle of tequila? What happened?" she pushed for an answer.

"We went to bed, Bella. You slept beside me because you were scared." I shrugged like a total fool.

_I just couldn't admit the wrong I had done._

_Why?_

But what the hell was I saying to her?

She knew what I had done to her. She knew I had taken advantage, and now she could see I wasn't man enough to even admit it.

She pulled at her hair as she looked at me in total frustration.

Why was I doing this? I didn't want to upset her.

"We had sex, Edward. I don't care if you wish it never happened, but just admit it did. This...your crazy behaviour. I can't take it anymore. Your denial is only making you worse, you know that, right?"

I didn't answered her. I looked away from her and tried my best to block the sound of her sweet voice out of my head.

"Edward," she snapped at me again, and I jumped at her angry tone. Looking at her, her eyes were filled with hurt and pain.

"You just made me feel... feel so used. I'm sorry if I'm not Tanya or some perfect pin up, but just acknowledge me and what happened."

"Tanya?" What the hell did she know about Tanya. Who had been speaking to her? If Jasper had said something, then I was going to kill him. He had no right.

"I know there is some girl, Edward. And what we did makes you a total ass and me a stupid bitch, but...but..." Her words trailed off and she looked defeated. Worn out.

"Tanya is no one. She's not a concern. she's part of my past," I told her because she needed to know that she wasn't being caught in some mess and that she wasn't screwing up any relationship. Tanya was gone and forgotten about. "Who told you about her anyway?" I pressed.

"Rosalie was wondering what happened to her. She guessed you had broken up?" Bella was careful where she tread, but I could still see her looking for information.

"We're not together any more and we never will be again. She's gone." She just up and left me.

Bella poured her coffee and one for me before taking a hesitant seat at the breakfast island.

She slid my cup over to me but didn't say a word or even attempted to look at me.

Blowing into the hot, dark liquid trying to cool it down, she once again began to speak.

"So...was I bad?" The question was barely a whisper, and I choked on my coffee as I tried to swallow it down. I wasn't going down this road. It was forgotten about and I was moving on.

We sat there for a moment and neither one of us spoke but I could feel her eyes land on me, waiting for a response. "Did I do something wrong?" The tinge in her voice got to me. I wanted to beat myself up for going near her in the first place and then for making her sound like that. I was making her feel horrible about herself.

"I mean... I don't have much experience. I'm sorry." _Kill me now. _Why was she telling me this?

I didn't want to know this. I didn't want this at all. I didn't want her past with any other guys, and I didn't want this to become something.

But before I knew it, I was looking for details myself. "What do you mean, you don't have much experience?" Surely I wasn't her first? I couldn't be. Not like that.

She tugged on the belt of her robe, pulling at the seamed stitching, her eyes seeming interested in the white cotton thread.

"Bella?" I pushed, and as I did, an array of butterflies passed through me. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Her eyes reached mine once again. "I didn't have any experience." She blushed crimson.

"As in..." I needed to hear it. I didn't want any mix up or confusion.

She swallowed hard. Her eyes darted down to the floor, silently answering me.

"Bella," I all but shouted at her. Getting up from my seat, I rounded the corner to get to her. Was she okay? Had I hurt her? I rested my hand on her shoulders, pulling her towards me so I could see her face properly. "Are you okay?" I had truly screwed up here.

She readjusted in her seat and pulled her robe around her as panic flashed in her eyes.

Her hands trembled and she actually looked afraid of me.

She nodded as her eyes went to the floor again "Fine, Edward. Why wouldn't I be?" Her tone had switched to detached, and I could see what she was doing – she was playing my game of denial.

"Bella," I warned as I pulled on her chin with my hand and a bolt of electricity passed though me at the touch. This is why last night had happened. This touch, this feeling. It was pulling us together.

She pulled away from my grasp and growled at me. "Leave me alone. What gives you the right to think you can touch me like that?" She stood behind her stool, trying to guard herself from me.

"I'm just want to see that you're okay," I bit back. She was being so awkward now.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be, Edward? It's not like anything happened," she spat at me.

God, she could be as hardnosed as Rosalie at times.

Swerving the stool that she tried to use for protection, I reached out and grabbed hold of her hand, pulling her closer into me.

She gasped and her eyes began to well up a little as we stared each other out. "Bella, I'm an ass. I'm sorry, I just thought it would have been easier if we pretended that it never happened. I just wish it never had," I told her truthfully. She was a sweet, beautiful girl that could have had anyone, and could have had someone treat her with a bit more respect than what I had shown her.

"Was I not good?" Why did she keep insisting on asking this? I didn't want to answer her. It was good – what I could remember. Actually, all of what I remembered was really pretty fantastic. But I was drunk and I was only serving my own need.

"I'm sorry if I mistreated you. I should have been more careful. I shouldn't have done it in the first place to be honest. But we did and I'm sorry if it was bad for you."

She gasped, "You thought it was bad?" She looked so injured. That was not what I was saying at all.

"No, Bella. It was... it was great, actually. But I just shouldn't have done it. It's meant to be special."

My first time was anything but great, but it had meant something to me at least.

She shrugged her right shoulder and brought her fingers up to her lips and chewed on her nail nervously. "It's just sex, right?"

"No," I almost shouted at her. It wasn't _just_ sex. It was meant to mean something. "If it was just sex, then why haven't you done it before? If it means nothing to you?"

She sniggered nervously. "Nobody has ever wanted me for me." That was a great big lie, even if she didn't realize it.

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen all the people who look at you? I have watched you get eye raped for the past four weeks. It took everything in me not to go and beat those guys up." Immediately, I hated my word choice, but it was true. The way those guys looked at her, I could tell exactly what they wanted to do to her and to be honest, I wasn't much better than any of them, especially after last night.

She turned scarlet at my words. I still held onto her left wrist, and bringing it between us, I caressed the back of it, trying to make up for the Neanderthal I had been. "I'm sorry. Though you really could have anyone you want."

She shook her head instantly, telling me I was wrong. "I don't want anyone. The only person I want... doesn't want me," she whispered.

Her brown eyes bore into mine and I felt like I was missing something. "Well, he's an idiot then. He doesn't know what he's missing."

Chewing on her lip, she pulled her hand out from my touch and took a wary step back. "I-I-I think I'm going to go to bed for a little while longer. I don't feel so good." Confusion crossed both our faces, but before I knew it, she was away again. All that was left in her place was her coffee, left untouched.

* * *

The rest of the day was quiet. All I did was clean up the copious amounts of hair on the bathroom floor and sat about. I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew that I had done more damage to me and Bella's relationship, and it wasn't anything that could be fixed right now. I needed to let her have her space. It was why she had been so quick to leave me in the kitchen earlier.

I had found myself in the study, and when I began looking around, I found all of Bella's course work sitting out.

Picking up the books, I flicked through them and reading through her notes, I could tell I had severely underestimated her intellect. She may have been a little naive to the world, but in a way, so was I.

She was savvy in her own way, and I in mine. We both would get through it just fine, but I did worry that Bella's lack of experience was related to her heart.

Her nervous stance earlier showed me her lack of knowledge on the topic and sex. She thought it was just some act that people did when drunk or bored, and I never wanted her to feel like that about it. Never.

I knew my relationships with women had never been great, but I also knew that I tried to give them what they wanted. Perhaps at times though, it was only the expensive gifts they seemed to ever want.

Tanya never wanted the perfect rose. All she ever wanted was whatever was most expensive and in vogue.

Roses came flooding to my mind due to the fact that I once had a bunch of them thrown at me because it wasn't what she wanted. They didn't go with the table cloth that she had picked out for her dinner party or something like that.

The long stemmed roses weren't good enough. She wanted orchids. So she ruined them. Threw them at me before walking over them and out the door in search of the flowers she wanted – which she couldn't find.

Maybe Bella would like roses. Maybe she was a girl with simpler taste instead of looking out for extravagance constantly. Or maybe she deserved that indulgence. What did other men buy for her? Surely she must have been on a date, had a light flirt with some other guy. Guys really did double take as she walked past, but she never once noticed in all the time I had watched her.

It was her birthday. I could get her them as a present and a peace offering. It couldn't do any harm, right? Unless she got mad like Tanya and threw them in my face.

Looking at my watch, the day was still early enough. I had contacts that could get me a beautiful bouquet within a couple of hours. I could call Emmett and ask him to pick up a cake on the way back home too.

Home? Did I just call it that.

At least I was welcome here.

I called up my contact, and they were quick with their promise to get them out to me in less than two hours. They had a shop in Port Angeles and would have a bouquet made up and sent out as soon as possible.

I tried to be careful on the meanings of the roses. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to romance her with red or pink, and white just seemed inappropriate after last night. Giving her flowers that signify innocence would be a slap in the face after how I had acted.

Instead I chose purple. Its meaning was enchantment and the unattainability. Bella was unattainable to me and I was most defiantly enchanted by her. I couldn't tell where I'd would be without her, without acting as her secret bodyguard and keeping her safe. I would have had nothing and no one.

Placing down my cell, I opened her laptop and turned it on.

I didn't know why I was doing this. I trusted her without doubt. But I still just needed to see into her world. There was no password to protect it like she told me she would do, but I just hoped for something... something that was her and not just her work.

Opening up her iTunes, I ran through her list of music. _Mumford and Son's_ began to play after I clicked on the album she had been playing, and as the sweet melody came out, so did the words.

_As the winter winds litter London with Lonely hearts_

_Oh The warmth in your eyes swept me into your arms_

_Was it love of fear of the cold that led us through the night?_

_For every kiss, your beauty trumped my doubt_

I couldn't help but think about Bella. This whole mess wasn't fair to her. If I could, I would have given her freedom back. She wasn't happy here, and with me humiliating her, she never would be.

I could only try to make it as painless as possible for her.

Reaching for my phone, I called Emmett and explained to him that it was her birthday. I tried to keep away from the details of getting her smashed, having sex with her and being a general knob, out of the conversation, but it still played in my mind. There was nothing I could do to take it back. The thing was, I didn't want to take back last night at all. I wanted it again and again. I wanted it to mean something to her. I wanted it to mean something to me, and I wanted us to be able to enjoy it. But it was just never going to be that way.

The song ended. I pressed the pause button on the next song and placed down the lid of the laptop. This was Bella's life, and I needed to leave it alone.

* * *

Bella still hadn't left her bedroom. She had been in there all day. My annoyance began to peek, knowing that she hadn't eaten either.

But I ignored that one, shook it out of my head and held on tight to the flowers, the purple roses that I had got for her. I hoped that my shallow attempts would be enough to make her smile, if only for a moment.

I knocked on the door with no reply. It didn't deter me. Instead I crept in, silently opening the door and softly creeping into her room. She lay out on her front, much like this morning, but with her face the other way, facing away from me. I shuffled in a few steps, determined not to disturb her, but to leave the flowers for her to see when she would wake. But she was already awake, and at my sounds, she had flipped around, startled.

Her face was streaked with tears, and I was sure I could feel that knife in my heart once again. Her eyes were red and sore, and I was the cause.

I stopped as I looked over at her on the bed, resting on her elbows and all stuttered breaths. It was her birthday. This wasn't how she was supposed to feel.

Carefully, I resumed my journey to her and slowly sat down at the side of the mattress, knowing that I was most likely unwelcome. She dampened her lips as she pulled herself up a little more and looked at me.

"It's your birthday..." I began. "I just thought that you deserved something to make the day a little bit better." I felt so nervous as I sat with her watery stare on me. She didn't seem mad though, just hurt. "I thought... I thought that you would like these." I shifted nervously. "I mean... I-I-don't know if you even like roses." I felt like such an idiot. Why did I think this was a good idea?

I held the large bouquet between us, resting them on the mattress, and I was only just able to see her through the flowers.

She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand as she sat up a little further looking over them.

"They're beautiful." She gave out meekly.

"I hope you like purple." I tried to make her smile a little.

She nodded. "Purples cool." She just took a moment looking at them, smelling them. "I've never had flowers before. They really are beautiful, Edward. Thank you."

I could only nod. No one had ever bought her flowers before. _Why the hell not?_

"I didn't know what you wanted." I shrugged again.

"You didn't have to get me anything at all. You have already done so much for me. It should be me buying you the flowers."

I let out a laugh at the crazy notion. "No, girls like you deserved to be showered with flowers like these. That's the way it's meant to be."

She bit her lip but didn't say a word, her eyes fixated on the flowers.

Leaning past the bundle of flowers, I reached for her cheek and thumbed away a stray tear.

She blushed at the gesture and moved her eyes to the mattress.

Placing he flowers down on the floor, I pulled her to me. I didn't even know if she wanted me anywhere near her, but she was hurting, and again, I was the only source of comfort for her.

"You know, Rosalie and Emmett are going to be back soon. They are packing up because Rosalie's parents have decided to arrive early because of the complications she's had. They want to be there for them so they are bringing dinner and then will be taking off tonight," I explained.

Emmett had been on the phone just shortly, telling me about it all. It wasn't with out a grumble from him, but I knew that was only because he hated having to fight his way through others to take care of Rosalie. He had always been the same. Happy to throw her over his shoulder and to runaway into the night to be alone with her.

I supposed we had ruined that for them with our arrival here, but in the end, Rosalie's parents would have arrived anyway.

"So she's not waiting until she has the baby?" she asked a little surprised. And perhaps a little mournful. She had already just lost Alice.

I shook my head answering her.

"So... it's me and you?" She asked. I couldn't help but notice the regret in her voice.

"Afraid so. I know I'm not the most fun... but..." But I didn't have a clue where to even begin with that one.

I had caused her to cry almost every day that she had been with me since I had rescued her.

* * *

I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I tried to scrape some of the sauce off of my plain boiled rice. It wasn't the easiest job in the world, but I was managing.

Rosalie had tried to be useful and made up our plates of take away, but I didn't like people messing with my food.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't think." Rosalie was actually sounding truly apologetic toward me. I looked up from my plate to find her face a mixture of emotions running over it. I waved her off and got back to eating.

I was losing my mind. I knew I was. I was pushing myself to try the things I hadn't had in a long time, and honestly, it wasn't even the nutritional content I was struggling with – well not only that, but the taste too. It was full of salt and it had deep tangy and very unnatural flavours in it. On top of that, it was bright orange.

Glancing back up, I saw all three of them with their eyes on me and I felt so self-conscious. "I like it," I tried to explain "It's just a bit strong with all that sauce."

Emmett only gave a defeated nod and the same expression was still on Rosalie's face. Bella, on the other hand, seemed worried, and after last night and discovering I hadn't had pizza in nine years, I knew she would be desperate to know when I had something like this.

Actually, it wasn't as long ago. I quite liked Chinese food. I just went to places that were a bit more prestigious, not places that served up an assortment of preservatives, all deep fried.

Slowly but surely, I ate around the sauce and managed my rice along with a few pieces of chicken. It was enough for me for today. I gave up resting my fork down as the others cleared most of their plates.

Emmett and Rosalie made up a crappy excuse and made their way out to the car where the cake was hiding. Bella reached out for me. "I'm sorry if that was a struggle for you." I shrugged her off. It was dinner, I could eat it, I just found it difficult with my dad's voice in the back of my head. "I can make you something later since Rosalie bought groceries for us."

"Bella, you don't need to do anything for me. I don't deserve your kindness after this morning." She instantly blushed at my words, and I could see her becoming emotional and uncomfortable.

I suddenly had a thought.

We hadn't used anything. No protection at all.

I didn't have any worries of passing on any infections, or her either if she was a virgin, but there were other things at risk.

She could be pregnant.

The panic swept through me. I needed to see if she was on anything. She wasn't sexually active, so she didn't need to take anything. Was she on birth control, though?

"Bella, are–" I tried to get the words out quickly to clear my conscience, but before I could, Emmett and Rosalie walked back though with a cake, singing.

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday dear Bella_

_Happy birthday to you._

I was quick to join in on the last line as I tried to let my brain catch up with what was going on in my head and around me.

I had missed my chance, but I could speak to her later.

Emmett placed the cake out on the island and the single lit candle flickered in front of us all.

Bella was scarlet from embarrassment but kept her obvious discomfort quiet. She leaned over the island a little and blew out her candle and as she did, I could see her delicate waist. She was looking a little slimmer, and she hadn't eaten much in the past two days.

I hoped she liked chocolate cake because I was about to try to get her to eat enough of it to fill those jeans properly again.

* * *

I sat on the edge of her dressing table stool as I watched her pack. Her bare feet paced the floor, creating little invisible circles as she rushed. She looked flustered.

"Edward, what are you hanging around in here for?" she asked as she rested her hand on her hip. Her words were soft, but I could see that I was putting her on edge sitting here, watching her.

I didn't know what to do with Bella, so I went to the only other woman that I could. _Rosalie._

"Are you sure you have to leave?" I checked again as she sat a bundle of clothes on the edge of the bed.

"Yes. My parents are up to see that I'm okay and that this one is too." Her warm smile just made her seem to glow more at the thought of her baby.

I reached out to her, to her stomach, and hesitantly placed it on her, waiting to see for sign of life.

Rosalie stopped and pulled up close beside me as she placed my hand right down onto her, the spot that a little flurry of kicking was coming from. It made me smile. Christ, she was having a mini Emmett.

"I can't belief that you are having a baby." My words caught up in my mind and I was beginning to truly realize that I had missed out on so much more than Carlisle could have ever given me.

"Neither can I. It seems like a dream." She smiled to herself. "Can you believe Emmett is going to be a daddy? He's just a big kid himself," She joked.

"But he will be a hell of a better father than his own one," I snapped out in a low breath, trying to keep a hold of my thoughts.

Silently, she chased me along the seat, perching herself next to me and taking my hand in to her two.

"You know, Hale. You have some junk in your trunk," I joked as we both struggled to find balance on our shared seat.

She grinned and shrugged. "So, I don't mind. My baby needs all this. What do you suggest, doc? The Atkins?"

I looked her straight on, and I felt my own face drop at her instant assumption of my thoughts. "You know what? I like it. You look... you look really good." I admitted honestly. "You and Emmett are going to have your little world completed... and I don't even know where to even begin thinking about that one." What was my life now? I had no job, no girlfriend, no real home. I had money, but I felt so completely isolated and alone.

"What happened with you and Tanya?" she pressed gently.

I let out a little humourless laugh. "She left me. Guess the new look wasn't for her."

"Come on. She wouldn't have been that shallow... would she?" Even Rosalie was hesitant to give her the benefit of the doubt as the pair had never gotten along. And Rosalie was right too. That was exactly why she had left me. She didn't like the new look at all.

We fell into silence for a few moments before she turned to me. "You know your face will heal. You can see about getting it fixed. You will be just like before."

Shaking my head, I didn't want it to be like before. "I don't want that." I sighed. "I mean I want it to heal, for it to not look as bad... but I don't want to go back to before. I can't go back to then, Rosalie."

She pulled me in, hugging me close to her. The energy was so thick and heavy.

"This is my life now," I promised.

"A life of looking after strays and waifs or a life being with Bella?" she asked as she quirked a brow at me.

"Excuse me?" I spat. "I'm looking after her... for her father."

She waved me off nonchalantly as she laughed a little. "You can fool a lot of the people a lot of the time, but you can't fool me, Cullen. I saw the way you two looked at each other today at dinner. Something is going on. Whether you admit to it or not is another matter."

"Nothing's going on," I argued.

"Well maybe there should be. You are doing this out of the kindness of your own hea-"

"I'm doing it for her father," I pushed.

"I don't give a shit who you're doing it for, Edward. The fact is you are doing it, and you don't just buy a life for someone if they don't mean anything, even if you have the money to do so. Online college, clothes, flowers..." She rose her brows waiting for me to argue. But I didn't. " Would it be so bad if you got something out of it too?"

"I'm not sleeping with her," I shouted. Was it so obvious? Was it clear that I had feelings for her?

"I never said you were. All I meant was that you can have company... a friend. You can enjoy Bella being here, even if it was through bad circumstance for herself. Make the best out of a bad situation and all that."

She ran her hand over my head before she began again. "I mean, look what she's done for you already. She did that for you. She didn't have too, but she offered." Emmett had been quick to mock me and my new hair cut ever since he had walked back through the door, but I knew he liked that I had at least made some effort to stop wallowing in self-pity, because really, that was all I had been doing until Bella pushed me on.

"I can see that you get along. You are both struggling because of the whole situation. Just take it easy and don't push her too far. She's still in a house all alone with you, and you don't want to scare the wits out of her. Just be a friend... and back off when she needs it." Rosalie shrugged as if it were just that easy.

"Rose, she doesn't want to be near me, though. I think I scare her." I knew I had pushed her too far already and now she had retreated back.

"She doesn't mind you, Edward. Really. I can tell."

How could she seem so sure? Had they spoken? I closed my eyes and changed the conversation. Opening them, I looked down at Rosalie's bump. "When the baby is born, will you visit? Let me see him?" Desperation rang in my voice and i could tell that Rosalie had picked up on it with the expression on her face. She gave a grin that wasn't quite true as it should have been.

"Of course we will. But I'd much prefer it if you came to visit us." Oh no. She was throwing out a life line and I wasn't right sure if I was able to cope with that one right now.

"I'll try," I promised as I let my eyes fall back to the bump.

"You could bring Bella, too." She playfully elbowed me.

"I think that she will be back home by then. It's already been over two weeks. I don't expect her to be here for too much longer."

She nodded. "What if she came to visit, though? I mean, she's not that far away. Maybe I should give her my cell num-"

"Rosalie," I shouted and she jumped. She was meddling, and I wasn't going to let her do it.

"Fine. Do what you want, Edward. I don't care." Her words were a mumble but I heard them. She crossed her arms and rested them over her bump and gave me a sharp look, waiting for something.

_What was she waiting for?_

I looked away from her almost instantly and I let myself roll onto the floor from our shared seat. I hit the floor with a small dull thud at my weight landing on the carpet below me.

Rosalie shifted along and looked down at me, smiling once again. "You know I care. We all do. You just need to let us in. Let someone in." She read me like an open book.

After pulling myself away from the people who were truly there for me, thinking that they were wrong... They weren't; they were so right, and it was so hard and shameful to say how wrong I had been. How blind and stupid I had been. I had listened to my father for years. Living and breathing by his rules, his lifestyle, and now there was nothing.

She toed my ribs gently from her seat, and I had a brief thought back to _that_ night. The hard kicks. The violence.

Sitting up, I took in a deep gasp, looking for air. Fear momentarily surged through me with that gentle tap alone.

Rosalie watched silently, and I could feel her eyes on me.

"Will you ever come back?" My tone was so child-like, it scared me. Was I destined to be completely in exile for the rest of my days?

"Of course we will. Me, Emmett, and this little bundle. But how long do you plan on staying here? If you're so sure Bella will be gone soon, what will you do then?"

I had no idea. I had nothing planed at all. "Maybe sail away into the sun. Die trying to climb Mount Everest or something. Who's going to really miss me, anyway?"

"We will. Your family. Emmett and Esme will be broken hearted, so don't try anything stupid. Besides, what's the point in being saved if you're just going to let it go to waste anyway?" Her fighting spirit showed through, and I knew she was right. But I still didn't care.

"I never asked to be saved. I never asked for anything. All I've done is what I've been told to do by Carlisle."

"Well you're a big boy, now. You can even walk on your own two feet, you know." Now she was just being sarcastic. "Do what makes you happy. Play piano because you love it, not because Carlisle thought it would be good exercise for your hands. Run around because you like to play around, not because Carlisle said you needed to exercise. And help Bella eat the rest of that birthday cake because it tastes good... and that the thought of you doing so would really piss _him_ off." I laughed at that one. She was on the money with that judgement.

"I'm serious. Just have fun. Relax and let go. Get drunk. Stay up _way_ late watching rubbish and go deaf with dancing to loud music. Live; don't be ordered around any more." She was such a fucking cheerleader it was scary. I was half expecting her to whip out the pompoms.

I kept my smile at bay over the comment about getting drunk. I could do it more than once after all.

God, but that hangover. I still felt like crap.

* * *

After leaving Rosalie to finish packing, I went to my room and lay down in the quiet. Soon it would only be the two of us left, and I still had no idea how this was going to work.

Flipping myself onto my stomach, I could smell Bella on my pillow. Breathing in the warm sent of her and that something else from... from the sex we had, I felt myself thinking back to last night.

Was it so wrong that we had sex? It wasn't news that two people who barely knew each other had been at it.

The bit I hated was that it had been Bella's first time. A first time that she was never going to get back – or possibly allow another guy to touch her after how I had acted.

Honestly though, I didn't know how rough I had been. It was wild and fun, but had I been too rough? I couldn't tell or even remember because of all we had drank.

With a knock on the bedroom door, it opened. I looked up to find Emmett stepping inside. "Just wanted to let you know that we are leaving now." It was almost eight o'clock, and I knew that Rosalie's pregnancy was getting to her and she was growing tired easily.

I nodded and pulled myself up off of the bed and followed him out to the door.

Rain lashed down as I looked out the front door. I hadn't even noticed it start.

Bella stood off to the side looking awkward as Rosalie slipped on her jacket. Emmett continued to talk to me about what they had in the pantry and down in the cellar. Apparently there was a load of good wine that hadn't been touched after Rosalie announced she was having a baby.

I took a mental note of that one. Rosalie was right. It was time to let go... and maybe get drunk the odd night too.

Thoughts of last night however, tainted that thought and only reminded me of my loss of control.

"Well, take good care of her, Edward, " Rosalie chimed in as she smiled to Bella, who in turn blushed. "And don't forget we're not too far away if you want to come and visit." She rose her brows in a silent order. I tried to ignore her words. I didn't want to go to them; I didn't want to leave this house. But I nodded anyway.

Rosalie reached in to hug Bella, and to my surprise, Emmett came at me and pulled me into him. I wasn't completely surprised by the contact, Emmett was a hugger. But after everything we had been through, it wasn't really expected.

I hugged him back. His grip grew tighter and locked on to me. Was I in for some kind of dramatic warning? Instead, he only pleaded for a visit. "When the baby comes, come and see him. Don't close that door again."

I felt a lump form in my throat at the genuine sentimentality of what he had just said. He still wanted me on their radar. It was something I was grateful of.

Rosalie jumped in his way, playfully pushing him off of me as she reached in for a hug herself. "Remember what I said and just have fun and take it easy, okay?" Her tone was laced with a hard edge to show she was serious, but she was being playful and friendly. "And you better come see me in the hospital to see your nephew or there will be hell to pay." Again I only nodded and knew that I was never actually going to do it.

"I will," I lied. "And you take it easy too. You don't have long to go, so just sit tight." I knew, with the fact that she was taking it easy, she would be desperate to get back to normal.

She gave a knowing nod and smile. The look on her face told me that she had heard this a million times already.

Emmett placed Bella down after picking her up in a bear hug and as she laughed at his antics. She let her hair fall, hiding her face away from me.

The two left, and as we gave a small wave from the door, Emmett pulled away from the house and along the long drive and back into civilization.

Closing the door, Bella gave a brief glance toward me before giving a small, awkward smile before scurrying away up the stairs.

I was left alone once again. I had a feeling that this was how I was going to be spending my time from now on.

It was a little after eight o'clock and, heading to the kitchen, I paused as I spotted Bella's birthday cake.

It was a great tasting chocolate cake. Looking at it, I wanted another slice. Maybe Rosalie was right. I knew I could walk away from it; my will strong as always. But did I want to?

Running a hand over my torso, I knew I wasn't anywhere near as toned as I used to be. But something in me asked me if I really gave a fuck? Really, why did I have to be the best of the best?

I hated to toot my own horn, but I was in good shape, great health, so what was a little more cake this once going to do to me? I didn't plan on doing it every night.

_Screw it._

And with that, my will had apparently went crashing to the floor as I raced to get a couple of plates. I was Bella was quite able to manage some more, and why the hell not? It was her birthday. A day of pure indulgence.

I cut two large slices of cake and plated them. I raced to the cellar and picked out a bottle of wine, and knowing that we had drank a lot last night, I planned on only a glass. Bella was free to have more if she wanted, though.

I hadn't drank in years, but it didn't mean I didn't know some decent wine – and apparently Emmett did as well. _Who knew?_

I grabbed a nice Château Pontet-canet, red, and headed back to the kitchen where I uncorked it after a little bit of a fuss with the high-tech bottle opener. Really, was the old simple one not easier?

Making it to her room with some difficulty, I swung the bottle of wine gently, knocking it against her door. There was no noise so I pushed the handle down with my elbow and practically fell through onto the floor.

The room was empty._ Where did she go?_

Her bathroom door swung open as she stood with a towel wrapped around her body and her hair tied up in a messy bun.

My breath caught as I looked at her. She was gorgeous.

She looked startled but only stood, waiting for some reason why I was in her room.

"I-I-I..." I stuttered out nothing. She shifted on her feet as she let my brain figure out what to say next. "I thought you would like some more cake... since it's still fresh... and I thought some red wine would be nice with it." I motioned to my full hand's feeling like a total twat.

What was I thinking? She didn't want to be near mem and here was I, forcing my way through.

She reached forward and took the glasses out of my hand along with the wine and sat it down on the antique unit. "I don't know if I can handle another drink." She laughed a little. At least she was laughing. "But you know what they say, hair of the dog and all that..." She shrugged in her towel.

"I'm sorry," I apologized as I looked down at her, her damp skin glowing under the soft lighting. "I should... I should go." I hastily placed down her slice of cake and left her with the wine as I turned to leave." _Moron._

I could have strung myself up for this one.

I felt a small soft touch on my arm as Bella reached out for me. "Are you leaving me already?" Her tone was light but I didn't know how serious she was since I couldn't see her face.

"I should let you get dressed," I explained as I tried to look at her without actually looking at her.

"Grab a seat and I'll be back in a second." She motioned me to the chaise lounge that sat at the bottom of the bed.

Images passed thought my head. Not ones of last night, but new ones that my own mind was making up. _Bella, minus the towel. Her long smooth legs wrapped around me. _

Bella was back a moment later as promised and wearing the bathrobe that I had bought her while staying with me in Seattle. It was casual, but yet she made it look so good. Her hair still lay bundled up on her head. Her beautiful neck was exposed, and I couldn't help but want to take a bite.

She nervously sat down beside me, and as I poured her out a glass of wine, her toes twitched along the carpet.

I handed her a slice of cake, and her eyes went wide realizing the size of piece she had.

"We'll get those jeans filled out right, once again," I joked as she blushed.

She didn't eat though. Instead, her eyes stayed on me as I took a piece of cake and placed it in my mouth.

It was damn good cake. Why had I gone so long without having this?

"Don't you want any?" I asked a little rudely with a mouth full.

Bella snapped herself out of her day dreaming and shook her head. "I want it," she told me sharply as she rushed a piece of the cake into her mouth.

Maybe I shouldn't have forced my way through into her room, but she didn't seem to mind so much.

"Do you know when you'll visit Emmett and Rosalie?" she asked right before she filled her mouth once again with a piece of cake.

Visit? They had only just left. "They only just left," I sniggered with a shrug.

"Yeah, but he's your brother and it's kinda apparent that he wants to keep it that way," she told me a little sharper than what would have been considered polite.

"I'll see him whenever. We haven't spoken in so long... what does it matter now?" Emmett was my brother, but I didn't need him. Did I?

"It matters a lot, and the fact that the two of you seemed to get along without too much difficulty shows that he's trying to forgive and forget." The words just rolled out of her mouth as she forked another piece of cake. Did she even realize what she just said?

"And what the hell do I need to be forgiven for?" I all but shouted, causing Bella to jump a little and her eyes to dart back up to me from her plate.

"Well... well..." She struggled.

"Well, what?" I bit " What did I do wrong? I never made the best decisions, but it doesn't mean I did something wrong. We picked different sides for different reasons. Emmett was always on our mothers side and me... well I think we know the mistakes I made. But I don't see why I need to be forgiven." Did I need to be forgiven? Was picking my father punishable? I thought he had my best interests at heart, and for a while in time, I think he did.

Picking Carlisle's side might have caused havoc to my relationship with Emmett, but I didn't do anything wrong. I picked my side, and I worked hard with the chances Carlisle had given me.

How can a child be expected to pick between their parents and for them to know who was best for them? They don't let them pick for a reason. It's blind sight and picking as an adult, I had about as much a clue as I did when I was a kid, especially when both of them continued to push their thoughts onto me.

Bella sat her plate onto her knee and looked deflated. _And so she should_. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. All I meant was that you didn't talk to him for so long, maybe this was... maybe this is your chance." Her words trailed into nothing as her eyes fixed upon her plate.

Taking a deep drink of my wine, I tried to let the thought wash over me. She was right. This was my chance, and I knew that I was just going to walk away from it. Their world... it wasn't mine. And I knew that I would never be truly welcomed.

"I-I should go," I told her frankly as I stood up and took my plate.

"No, Edward. Lets just talk," she pleaded. I could see it shine in her eyes. She had never meant to upset me, but she had.

I shook her off and practically bolted out of her bedroom and down stairs.

Reaching the kitchen, I placed my partially eaten cake into the sink. _I knew that this was a bad idea._

Every time we spoke we only created more friction between us. The ironic part of it was I was trying to apologise for this morning, for last night. I was trying to make up for it all and it still never got any better between us.

I knew that at times she could be sharp and cutting if she really wanted to, but for it to be so constant. What happened to that sweet girl who would do anything for anyone?

I hated the person I was if that were her response to me.

I knew this was my chance to rebuild my life with Emmett, but if we fell apart from each other so easily, was it worth the try? Then there was the simple fact of me having to leave here, like he requested, to visit him.

I grabbed a seat at the island, resting my head on my arms. I tried to let the whole thing go.

It was done with now; Emmett was home, and Bella and I were once again not talking.

I only hoped that my little outburst hadn't upset her too much.

Time passed by, and the darkness outside grew to black. Looking out the window, I couldn't see a thing but anyone passing could be able to see in. Paranoia sunk in my head, I went around the house, closing all the blinds and curtains.

The house was impossible to see in to from outside the grounds, but who was to say that no one was trespassing? It would have been easy enough to do. The surrounding land was wide open.

_What if someone found out where we were?_

I knew that we were safe, that Bella was safe, but it didn't mean that any other passerby wasn't willing to try to break in. I went around making the house was secure as well, locking all the doors.

It was almost midnight as I headed to the study. I only had one plan for going into there – to listen to Bella's music.

Switching on her laptop, it was still set with the way that I had left it earlier when I had been on it. Reaching for the play button, I turned on the music. The next song of the album continued after it had been pause earlier.

It was a softer melody. I felt myself relax into my seat before the guitar started to be strummed on the track, before the rest of the instruments took over the song. I couldn't help but feel some connection to the song and how I felt. I mentally took a note of the song. "Roll Away Your Stone," it was called. It was a very honest song. The tracks continued to play as I rested my chin on my knees and continued to take in the words. This was beautiful music. I missed music. I missed playing, and I missed making my own sound, good or bad. It had been so long since I had played the piano simply because I was too busy. I had taken no time for myself with the exception of working out.

_Weep for yourself, my man,  
You'll never be what is in your heart.  
Weep little lion man,  
You're not as brave as you were at the start.  
Rate yourself and rape yourself,  
Take all the courage you have left.  
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head_

The tune rattled out at an almost aggressive pace, it was as if it was telling me off.

Did Bella find meaning in these words too? Surely not?

She wasn't dark. She was a ray of light.

_Tremble little lion man,  
You'll never settle any of your score.  
Your grace is wasted in your face,  
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck.  
Learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck._

That was a particularly harsh verse. But again I could understand it completely. In fact, it boded a little too well with my own situation.

I needed to change. I needed to become this other person.

My whole life I had been grafted to fit my father's mold and I still didn't quite fit it. I was happy before my attack, but that was because I lived in a world of ignorance and excess. I thought I had everything I wanted.

I was wrong. On so many levels, I was wrong.

Tanya had left me, and as crushing at it was, I hadn't thought much about her since she had packed up and left. Eight years we had been together, and not one of those years did I feel desperate to make her my wife. Again I was content with what she gave me and all the bullshit that passed between us – I thought it was normal. Well, truthfully, I still didn't know if that one was normal. People had hard times, but they weren't our hard times. Hard times shouldn't have just disappear when I threw money at her.

But what else did I do in those situations? And who didn't like to be treated with gifts?

_Bella had never been given flowers before._

That though just came into my head ,and for some reason, I struggled to believe it. There must have been someone that had bought her them before. Someone, surely?

I didn't know if I had given them because it was her birthday or if because I had screwed up and I was trying to fix what happened the night before. I hoped it wasn't my subconscious trying to buy her forgiveness.

Images of last night came at me once again. The two of us rolling around the bed, kissing. Her hands through my hair, her hands on my face.

_Her hand on my heart._

I had let her touch my heart last night. And not just the once.

Christ, this girl was getting to me. But somehow I didn't mind. At least I was letting someone in, even if I had been drunk.

Could I make everything all right between us? Could I try? It was the least I could do, as it had been me to walk out after she had only tried to push me towards my family, for me to keep in contact with Emmett.

Neither of us had been right or wrong. We just had different thoughts on it. She didn't understand my reasoning, though, and I didn't know if I could tell her.

I wanted to go to her, and the song wasn't doing much to stop me. It was only encouraging my thoughts even more. Had she went to my room, only to find it empty?

I was sober, yet I was making the most stupendous movement. _I was going to go to her._

Pausing the music, I closed the lid of the laptop once more and turned off the light as I left the room. I wasn't going to be back for the evening, even if I were to be rejected.

My foot hit of the bottom stair and I climbed the rest anxiously, two at a time. Walking past my own bedroom door, I kept going.

I didn't know what I was actually doing or what I would say. All I knew was that I didn't want what happened last night to be a onetime event, even though the sensible part of my brain was screaming at me to turn back.

_What about Charlie?_

That though made me stop. Standing right outside her room, I suddenly began to realize what could happen if I did push through that door, and what wouldn't happen if I didn't.

I didn't want to upset Charlie. I didn't want him to ever think that I abused the trust that he gave without question.

I didn't know what Bella wanted from me, and the fact that I had shut her out before she even had a chance only grew into frustration at myself.

Even if all I ever were to Bella was support I'd take it.

Did I open the door, or did I just back away?

_What did I want? _

Rosalie was right. I needed to do the things I wanted to do. I never did something simply because I wanted to. All I had done was take orders.

_And I wanted to go to Bella._

Common sense lost and before I knew it my hand was on the handle and I was opening the door. There was no light on as I opened it, but the light from the hallway flooded through her room, and I was able to see her shift up a little to look at me.

Her eyes squinted a little as she tried to adjust to the light, but she didn't said a anything.

From under the fluffy duck down duvet, I could see that she was wearing a tank top with little, thin straps. Her collar bone looked so delicate. I couldn't think of a time when I had noticed it before, but then again, Bella was usually covered up.

Without a word or even an invite, I let myself in and closed the door behind me, making my way to her bed.

Taking a seat on the edge of the mattress, I tried to gauge her reaction to me being here. "Are you all right?" My voice was low and something else lay in it. It surprised me.

I could see her silhouette in the dark as my eyes slowly began to adjust themselves. She gave a small nod but said nothing.

We both just sat there, one struggling to see the other after the light of the hallway had battered our senses.

Reaching for her, I slid my hand through her long dark hair and cupped her neck. I wanted to reach in and kiss her, but I knew I couldn't just force myself on her.

Instead, I lay down.

She moved with me and she was once again below the duvet. I, on the other hand, lay out on top of it.

Sliding my hand down past her shoulder, I continued my journey along the length of her arm and all the way to her hand. I caught her fingers with mine and held on.

She wasn't chasing me away, and I was happy with what I had.

I lay there contently, searching her eyes. They were two little sparking dots in the dark and with my eyes adjusting too, I was finally beginning to see the finer point of her. Like her lip biting.

I reached up and pulled it away from her teeth as she lay there, looking into my eyes.

What was she thinking right now? If only I could read her mind. I struggled to read anything from her. She was so complex. Up and down, closed off, guarded.

I think I had learned more about her watching her than I had learned living with her.

Guarded. She was now definitely guarded. With me at least.

She pulled her hand away from mine and reached up to my face.

Panic boiled inside me once again. I jumped back from the imminent contact, though this time, instead of falling off of the stool, I fell off of the bed, crashing down onto the floor.

_Why did I react like this?_

She wasn't going to hurt me. At least not physically.

I sat there in some kind of strange shock. Last time she had attempted that and I fell, I hurt myself. I was still a little wary if her touching me now, but something in me had changed. I knew what it felt like to have her hands on me. I knew the gentle strokes of her fingers.

I was safe and wasn't in any danger.

She reached forward, turning on the lamp and looking down at me, looking quite stunned herself. "Are you okay?" she asked in a panicked gasp as she reached out for my hand.

I gave a small nod as I took her hand and lifted myself up off of the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I promise I wasn't going to hurt you." Christ, I knew that.

"I know," I promised. " I just wasn't expecting it. I don't know why I keep jumping like that?" Why did I keep jumping like that? The only time I hadn't was when I was expecting some kind of reaction or when I was drunk last night. God, I had let her near my face with a razor. I had never let anyone near my face with a razor. Especially a girl who was drunk.

She gave a small, dry laugh. "You don't know why?" she asked almost amazed, as if she knew the damn answer. "You're scared," she told me so sweetly as she reached for my other hand. "It's okay not to trust me, especially after what you have been through."

I scoffed. "You don't know what I've been through, and I'm definitely not scared." I had a gun. I could look after myself just fine. It just so happened to be well and truly out of my reach right now. _But I still wasn't scared._

She dropped my hand and crossed her arms over her chest. "So you're not scared?" she asked, her voice almost demanding.

_I think I much prefer Bella when she thinks I am scared._

"No." I shook my head. "I have no reason to be. You just caught me off-guard."

She looked away from me with her arms still folded as if she didn't quite believe me. And now I was beginning to doubt myself.

"Edward," she called out my name without even looking at me. "You are scared. And that's fine." Her eyes finally met mine once again as she slowly turned her head back to me. "You are hesitant about letting people near you because you got screwed over. From what I hear, though, your father wasn't the nicest person to be around."

Who the hell was she to speak about my father? She knew absolutely nothing.

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously "Who the hell do you think you are telling me how I feel? And you have no right talking about my father." My voice grew as my rage did. We couldn't just talk. It was a near impossibility with us two.

She shifted back a little on the bed "Calm down, you're scaring me," She swallowed hard as she looked away from me once again, "I don't know your dad. I know I don't. I don't claim to know him either, but the things people say about him... It doesn't make me want to meet him." her eyes cast up at mine once more and she had a glaze in her eyes that let me know I had to keep control and my voice down or all I would do is scare her into submission.

"But... you wont let anybody in. You don't plan to keep your newly built relationship going with Emmett and all you do is plan to hide out for the rest of your days." her voice was just above a whisper and she looked scared about the words that came from her own mouth.

I was a little taken back by her words, I had to admit it. She was right. I was scared.

Making it back to the bed I sat down feeling anxious. "I shouldn't have come," I mutter out, and as much as I knew I was right, I still don't leave.

She shuffled back on her knees and rests back on her ankles "Then why did you?"

_Because I wanted to come to you_. But I couldn't tell her that.

I sighed and tried to cover it all up. "Last night... we never... we never used anything." I swallowed hard and I could see the realization flash up on her face.

"Oh my god," she cried out. "It never occurred to me. I-I... shit." Her hands were instantly in her hair and she seemed to be pulling it out. Her breathing panicked and as much as I knew I needed to bring it up, I didn't want to see her like this.

"Shhh," I reached for her again and pulled her into me. "Relax, we can still get the morning after pill." I tried to sate her.

Instantly she began to squirm in my control "That's not who I am, I'm not one of those girls that just goes around sleeping with people without protection and then lets it all dissolve away."

_Holy Fuck. Could she be any more judgemental?_

"Excuse me?" I asked, because even I was shocked with her tone. "Don't be like that, Bella. The world isn't so plain sailing you know." I shook her thoughts away. She was still seeing the world as a little too perfect. A little too innocent. "Things happen... and to fix them we have to face them and do what's needed. I can't make you take that pill, but I'm sure as hell not in a mindset to have a kid and I know you aren't. Your head is in your books." And maybe had been in there a little too long, protecting her from the outside world.

"You don't know the first thing about me." She argued as her voice climbed.

"No, I don't. But are you really ready for that responsibility, all because you think your whiter than white?" I asked rhetorically.

"I'm not so white now, thanks to you." She snapped at me.

"Bella," I warned her, I wasn't taking this. I would get her a doctor and all that she needed for any concern to disappear.

Looking down at her her, her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Crying, again. _What was I doing to this girl?_

We were quiet for a moment as we looked at one another.

"Fine." She mumbled out as she climbed below the covers again, shutting me off.

I couldn't just leave her like that. I felt guilty as hell that I was forcing her past her morals, but in reality, it was a risk we could both really do without.

_Could you imagine Charlie with that one?_

Her back was turned to me and all I could see was her shoulders disappearing under the mass of dark brown hair.

I felt so disconnected from the whole situation and it wasn't how I wanted to feel. She was keeping me on the outside.

She went at me, telling me I was the one who was scared, but was she any better off than me? She looked petrified.

I wanted it to be like how it was last night. I wanted what Rosalie said I could have, her friendship. We were both so alone right now. We had no one.

I stretched out on the bed, uninvited, along side her, my chest to her back.

She continued to ignore me, but as I once again reached for her hand, she softened and I felt her against me.

"I don't know what's happening here. I don't know why we can't just seem to get along, but I don't want arguments, Bella."

I could hear her sniff into her pillow and I tugged on her, pulling her around to face me.

She fought a little but before I knew it she had turned around and her face crashed into my chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that... it's just never how I thought this would all happen." she shrugged into me, her warm breath against my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her and tried to sooth her. "It's been difficult for you. This isn't how life is meant to be. Not for me and not for you. But we can't keep snapping at one another and trying to push the other for a reaction. We'll kill each other."

She let out a dry laugh and looked up at me, her cheeks all tear stained. "Am I really that bad?" She asked joking, trying to make it that little bit better.

"Bad," I sighed "You're a damn nightmare." I teased with a wink.

She pulled away slightly and I could see her become serious once again. "I'm sorry. Its just not what I expected it to be like."

I looked at her confused. "What to be like? Hiding out from some mob? You've thought about this one before?" I half tease.

"No," She shook her head. "Just this... some man in my bed. I've never shared a bed with a guy before. Especially not one like you."

_Like me? What was I like? Hideous?_

I kept my calm "What do you mean?"

Her eyes fell between us and I wasn't going to get an answer out of her. She nervously bit her lip and made some hesitant moves before she looked back up at me. The air was thick and I was sure she thought I could read her mind. Her eyes looked like they were screaming out at me, telling me what she couldn't say, but I still didn't understand.

"Bella," I sighed in frustration.

Her breathing quickened and before I knew it, she's pulling herself up against me and her lips land on mine. _She was kissing me?_

But it was all over a little too quickly and she pulled away. Without a word or a though of doubt, she rushes to her bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

_What was that?_

She kisses me then just leaves me?

_Does she like me?_

She wants more. I know she does. I'd have to be stupid not to realize it.

I rush off the bed and chase after her but as I try to open the bathroom door I find that it's locked.

"Bella, open the door." I plead.

A mumbled tearful "no" comes from the other side.

"Bella, please," I don't know what to say. What do I say? I wanted more, I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted from her, but I knew I wanted more. "Just come out and... and..." I have no idea what to say.

A few silent minutes tick by and I can't think of what to do. Do I give her time alone? Do we speak about it? Do I kiss her back?

Thinking its going to be along night, I let myself drop to the floor and camp out side the bathroom, waiting for any word from Bella.

Reaching the carpet, the bathroom door opens and I fall in through the entrance as she climbs over me in some great rush.

"I really want to thank you, Edward. You have done a lot for me, but it's time for me to go." _Go? Go where? _No, she's not leaving.

I gather myself to my feet and try to grab hold of her as she ducks my touch, weaving past me to get to her things.

She walks away from me and I grab a tight hold of the back of her vest top, desperate to get hold of her. "Bella, no. You can't leave." I beg as I tug her back to me.

Her thin straps pull though and as she fights to escape my touch I realize that I'm exposing her, exposing her perfectly formed pink nipple.

Instantly I let go of her. "Sorry, I never meant that." I finally reach out and manage to grab her hand this time, capturing her one in my two, not letting her escape me. She avoids my look and tires to fight her way out of my grip, but I cant give up on her. "Bella," I shout at her in frustration and she instantly stills.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She mumbles out with her eyes to the floor.

I reach for her other hand and I take the two of them in my one and tilt her face to look at me with my free hand, my index finger softly dragging her chin to my direction. "Why did you?" I needed to know if it was just a moment of madness or if it were something else.

She scrunched up her eyes "I don't know... last night... the flowers... I'm just having a hard time of seeing this line between us." Opening her eyes she looked hurt. "I know that- that I'm only hear because of Charlie and-and... well all I am is a favour."

Was this her concern? That I was only putting up with her because of her father? "Without Charlie, I would never have met you... and right now, I don't want to think about where I would be or what I would be doing. You were my distraction from my own hell and I couldn't help but watch you... But you weren't this person then. You were different-"

She interrupts me "Different, how?" She asks incredulously, as if she became something so evil.

"You don't know who you are right now. You cry and I know that your scared, but you – we – use it to hurt the other." You can see the look of deep thought on her face and I know I'm right. "I'm right. I know I am. You don't know how to deal with this so you are constantly sitting on defence, waiting."

She gave a small shy nod and looked to the floor.

I needed to get back get back to what had happened though. The kiss she gave me. Perhaps it was best to ignore it, but something inside of me couldn't. I wanted to know why she did it. Our conversation had sparked it after all.

"You kissed me?" It was a question. I needed the reason but it just came out sounding like some statement. She only gave a small nod and sat down on the small stool that matched up with the dressing room table.

"Why?" did I want to know this answer?

She only shrugged, confusing me more.

"Why?" I pushed again. My voice grew louder and my frustration showed with my impatience and I could see her sink lower into the seat, her shoulders rising as if to protect her.

Closing my eyes, I let out a small breath, calming myself before crouching down to her level and cupping her cheek.

Her eyes were closed and as I stroked the pad of my thumb across her apple, she opened them, revealing her watery pools of brown.

"I want to leave," her words were barely a whisper but they rang loud in my ears. "I'm safe, I'm out of Seattle and I can go out on my own. I'll take a road trip... I'll... I'll visit friends. A friend from high school lives in California, I'll go visit her." I was shaking my head the full time she spoke. "Please... I don't have to be this – this burden any more. You got me out of the city, let me go on my own from here." I was still shaking my head, but her hands were on my neck and in my hair, trying to make me see sense.

"No. No, Bella. No." I argued back. "You are staying where I can see you, where I can keep an eye on you."

Her eyes filled with tears but her face remand impartial. "Keep an eye on me? Edward, I'm not a child. I can look after myself. I look after my father."

"I know you do, but just for once in your life, let someone else be the adult. Let someone else look after you." I felt like I was begging her. and being crouched down on my knees wasn't helping me stand my ground.

"Why do you want to look after me? Why do you have to push this so much, Edward." her hands still gripped onto my hair and I still cupped her cheek. Despite our arguing, we were positioned a little too intimately for what would be considered appropriate.

I couldn't answer her that one. I knew that something inside of me was still desperate to get to know her. I was getting agonizingly close, but further from her all at the same time.

Her intense gaze burned into me and I dropped my sight.

I wanted good. I wanted last night. I didn't want to see the unshed tears in her eyes and I didn't want to hear her pleading with me, to let her go.

The kiss ran though my head once again and I needed to know why she did it.

"Why did you kiss me, Bella?" I met her eyes once again to try and gage some sort of reaction, whether it be repulsion or adoration, I just needed something, something to tell me what was going on here.

That knife was back and it was penetrating my soul, if I even still had one.

Something was going on. It wasn't just me anymore. I wasn't stalking her in the streets. I had a face and I was right in front of her and she needed to at least acknowledge that.

A tear fell from her right eye, leaving a small trail down her cheek in its wake. Her eyes closed off from me once again and the tension... it was painful, agonizing... I wanted her to look at me in that moment and explain herself.

But she didn't look back up. Instead, she pushed forward and reached for my lips once again, kissing me. The force of her movement had me flat on my back as she only push my back harder into the floor, straddling me.

Her hands fisted my hair and tugged on it, pulling my face closer to her mouth.

Her kiss was hard and furious and she let out a small sob into my mouth.

My chest grew tight as I held my breath and pulled her away from my mouth.

"No." She argued with me. Her voice was gasping, desperation rang from it. Her lips continued to push forward as I tried to hold her back off of me. "No, don't stop. Please, just don't stop." A cry tainted her words but as our lips once again met, I couldn't pull myself away.

What was she wanting here? Was this just a kiss... was it last night?

My answer was quickly given as she tugged on the button of my jeans, trying to open them.

Her fingers trembled and she pulled away so she could see what she was doing and I reached for her. I didn't know if I was trying to stop her or sooth her.

"Bella," her name caught in the back of my throat at the though of this moment disappearing away from me.

She ignored me though and still struggled with the button. Her nervous hands were stalling our antics and I wondered if it was a sign. She wasn't really ready for this, was she? Not after last night. Not after today.

I grabbed her hands and tugged her harshly up to me. "Stop." I ordered her, even though I had already done that for her.

She shook her head and tried to pull her hands out of mine.

She was scaring me. She was in tears and the only thing that she was fixating on, was having sex with me.

"Does it mean anything?" I shouted as I tried in vain to still her. "What you want to do, does it mean something to you, Bella?" It needed to mean something. I didn't expect her to love me, but she had least of had to have wanted me. I wasn't being used to cover up any pain she might have had. She was better than that, to lower herself to that level. She was a innocent last night and I would kill myself if this was all my fault.

It all meant something to me. All of it.

"It doesn't have to mean anything." She roared at me in sob. All the time she still tried to pull her hands out of mine.

"It does." I argued back, my voice just as loud as hers.

"It doesn't mean anything to me and it never will." At her angry words she pushed herself into my hands and lifted her self up from the floor and I released her grip seeing she gave up.

Before I could do anything though, her fisted hand came down at the speed of lightening and struck me next to my temple and cheek bone, catching the corner of my eye in the process.

_FUCK_

That seriously hurt. The pain ripped through my face and sent shock waves rippling though the sensitive skin of my scars. It was going to leave a hell of a bruise come morning.

I couldn't react to Bella though. She had ran out of the bedroom and I had no idea in which direction she had went. I was too busy trying to gather my equilibrium on the carpet floor.

_What the hell was that all about?_

I held my head as I tried to let the situation wash over me. I took calming breaths as I tried to regain some kind of composure from the strike to my head and I lay flat on my back, looking up at the ceiling.

What had happened? What had gone through her head in that moment?

I didn't know if I should leave her or if I should chase after her. What good was my presence going to be to her? She didn't wan to be here. She wanted gone.

Finally after a few minutes, I sat up and looked out the door that she had raced though. The hall light was on, but it was the only one I hadn't turned off. The rest of the house was in darkness.

I stood up and walked out slowly, a little too worried of what I was going to find. Was she going to hit me again?

I braced myself for the fall out and began to look for her.

I walked into the darkness as I headed down the staircase and headed for where I would hope to find her. In the study. Opening the door, I turned on the light that I had been so sure wouldn't have been turned back on today. Glancing around the room she wasn't to be seen. I headed to the lounge next only to find that empty, also. After that, I began to call out for her as I started to feel the panic set in.

Moving onto the kitchen, I stopped as soon as I entered. I still hadn't reached the light switch but there was no doubting the sound. Rain. I could feel the cool breeze passing in through the door and as I panicked, I rushed out in my bare feet, following after her.

Rain pelted down on me as I ran through the garden and up into the trees. I shouted on Bella but got no response at all. My clothes were saturated in seconds and my body froze up with my feet on the damp dirt.

"Bella," I screamed. "Please, come back to me." I pleaded and as I did, I felt that tight sensation in my chest again. My heart. "Bella. Come back here right now." I ordered angrily and I instantly hated my tone. She was scared of me. Well actually, I didn't know what she was scared of, but something was upsetting her.

Pushing up through the terrain, I let out a small yelp as I stood on some stray rocks.

It was useless. I couldn't see her. It was too dark. Finding her was an impossibility.

"Bella. Please, come back inside. In the morning, you can leave." I promised. If she was this upset, I was doing more harm than any good I could do.

There was still nothing.

Why did I let her get so far ahead? I should have got up straight away and went after her.

"Bella," I gasped for air as I climbed in to the edge of the forest, the trees making it even more difficult for me. Part of me though it was best to let her calm down, but this huge piece, this huge guilty piece of me knew I couldn't.

What if she were lost?

What if she hurt herself? We were out in out bare feet.

I slowed, catching my breath and bearings as I tried to fight through the rain and dark to see.

That was when I heard her.

A shuddering gasp from somewhere on the floor of the forest.

"Bella." I whispered out so not to scare her. I squinted in the direction from where I though I heard her and pushed forward, slowly, to try and find her.

A few short strides and I found her lying on the ground, as wet as I was and shivering in a little ball of tears.

A sharp hard lump formed in my throat at what I had done to her, at what I was doing to her, by keeping her here. I knelt down on the ground beside her and very carefully, reached for her hand.

Freezing. She was like a block of ice. She was going to get sick if she didn't get warm soon.

I wanted to cry myself for what I was needing to do next. I was going to pick her up and take her back into the house where she could warm up and I only hoped that it didn't cause any more upset.

Sliding my arm behind her neck, she whimpered at the contact.

Slowly and carefully, I continued on with what I needed to do, what I really needed to do. I picked her up, her light frame feeling almost weightless in my arms.

The journey to the house was silent and tense and Bella only continued to sob into my chest.

Walking into the house, I climbed the stairs and instantly headed for the bathroom in Bella's bedroom. Opening the door to the huge shower cubical, I turned on the water and brought her under the warm spray as I sat with her in my arms.

She still trembled and I didn't know if it was fear or the shock or even the cold. All I knew was she wasn't doing too well.

I wanted to shake her. I wanted to know what was going though her mind. So I did all I cold do, I asked her.

"Bella, you have to tell me what happened. What's going on here?"

She shook in my arms and her long brown hair looked black with the water and her lips were turning back to pink before my eyes.

She shook her head, refusing me.

"Bella... please, you need to tell me something. Tell me what's wrong. Please."

She still never answered me, her eyes looked off into the distance and she seemed so detached, so lifeless.

"Is this because of last night. I'm sorry if I hurt you, that was never my intention but if you want to leave, I'll let you go. I'll sort it all out for you right now." If she wanted a flight to the other side of the world within the hour, I'd have it for her. I'd give her anything if she would only just speak.

She continued to sob.

"Bella, please..." I begged, my heart breaking for her. What had I done wrong? What did I say? Did she hate me?

She gasped for air and shifted, only just, in my arms. "I-I. I was attacked too."

* * *

_**An: Are you still with me? Please let me know. **_

_**Also add me on twitter to know what's happening, or just the usual crap I tweet ;)**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/n: This is for Lee and the others that mailed me over my time away from posting. I was nice to have people search you out because they want to know the end. **_

_**Big question at the end of the chappy tho. Let me know your thoughts.**_

_**Thanks to Ozza for fixing this out for me too.**_

* * *

**Chapter ten**

_BPOV_

The shower rained down on us, and as I looked up to Edward through my own tears. I knew I had over reacted. He was never going to hurt me, but my mind had been made up in that moment, and all I could feel was the fear of him pushing too far.

"You were attacked?" he asked, completely dumbfounded at my revelation. My attack wasn't as severe as Edward, but it nearly was, and my will to hide my story was lost as the pressure of the moment and the situation grew tense.

I nodded, telling him yes. His head was no doubt swarming with a million different thoughts. Or maybe there weren't any at all. Maybe he wouldn't believe me. I never told anyone, so why should he?

"When?" he pushed, his tone gentle and his arms still held onto me as I sat on his knee in the warm rain.

When? A long time ago. But not so long ago that I'd forgotten or that I've let it stop interfering with my life. I knew what it had done to me, and I knew I had to work through the issues, but I had boxed it up and pushed it to the side. Generally, I never let it affect me. Except when it came to men. There was reason why I was single.

Taking in a gasp of air, I avoided the stream as I began to speak, feeling myself calm in his arms. The same arms that I had not long ago, ran from, fearing him.

_Why did I fear him?_

His voice pulled me back from my thoughts once more. "When, Bella?" He was looking down at me intently. He was worried. His head _was_ racing with thoughts. I could practically see the images flash across his irises.

I shook my head at him. "No. Not like that. Not like you." my words mumbled out. "I fought him off. I-I don't know how... I just managed it." I shrugged.

Why did it cause me to freak out like I had, though? It was nothing more than being pressed up against the outside wall of some nightclub but it had put me off of contact from men. Then Edward came along, and although I initially feared him – thought I think all I really feared was my life being taken from me – I wasn't scared of him now. Not any more. But I wanted to push him and take what I could get from him simply because I could. I didn't fear him. He could touch me, and I never felt paralysed by it. I wanted his touch. I wanted more of what I had last night, because with him I could take it.

_I didn't know what it meant._

When I had been grabbed at the club that night, I was pressed into a dark corner, and for a moment in time I didn't get to choose. He pressed up against me and tried to have his way. To let his hands roam across me. I tried pushing him away, but nothing happened. He was too strong. And he didn't listen to a word I said. My cries were ignored and the music drowned my sounds out to others as my free will disappeared from my grasp.

Any man could do that with me. I was small and there wasn't really that much of me. I was easily pushed around in a crowd, so what chance did I have against anyone one that decided to force themselves on me?

Pulling away from my social life wasn't hard. I had a few friends but I never told them what had happened. I had Jacob, and I knew that with him I was safe. I didn't need any other man in my life. It was easy. I focused on my studies.

Then Edward saved me.

I found myself being more and more drawn to him.

Then we had sex, and as good as it was, he rejected me. Pushed me to the side and told me to forget about it. _The one man I had ever put trust in._

I wanted to test him and push for more, but his moral compass seemed to show, and he rejected me telling me it had to mean something.

It was sex. Why did it have to mean anything? It wasn't going to mean a thing to that man at the club two years ago. With Edward, it could have been fun, like last night had been. I wanted more fun and Edward was the only person I could seem to go near without freezing up.

Maybe I was sick in the head. I just wanted to be reckless with him and he wasn't allowing it. And now he had me crying, telling him that I had been attacked.

I wasn't attacked – not in comparison to how he had been brutalized. He was going to hate me for making him worry, worry over nothing. Some guy got handsy outside a club and I couldn't control myself.

His arms tightened around me, and I loved how it made me feel. _Safe._

He was my piece of safety and I had hit him. _God, I had actually hit him._

Maybe it was the whole situation that was getting to me or maybe... maybe... I didn't know what to think any more.

I was growing irrational with cabin fever, and Edward was the only one that I could take it out on. He wasn't a saint himself, but we had to find some way to live like this or we were both going to go insane.

I fought my way out of his clutch, and he let me go. I shook on my bare feet and pulled at my pyjama bottoms, pulling them down and off of me. I had my underwear on, though. Besides he had seen me naked before.

Turning away from him, I pulled off my tank top and wiped my eyes and my stupid, fruitless tears. They weren't real tears. Tears of sadness. They were tears of realizing my own insanity.

Walking out of the shower cubical, I reached a towel and wrapped it around me before facing Edward. "Can we talk about this another time?" I asked, not quite meeting his eyes.

He didn't answer, though. Instead, he stripped off his own clothes, down till he was at his boxers and reached for a towel, just like I had done.

I could feel his eyes on me as he went on his way, but I didn't looked back up at him. I didn't want to feel weak for this man. I had thrown myself at him after he had practically tossed me out with the trash, only this morning. I was glutton for punishment.

His long, nimble fingers reached out and gently touched my shoulder. My eyes snapped to the spot, and I could feel a low hum of energy transport though my body at his contact. After a moment he let his thumb brush against the skin of my shoulder too. It sent another bolt of electricity through me. I hated it. And I loved it.

I wanted to ask him to touch me some more – to put his hands all over me and to let me really feel him. I wanted to know if last night were a fluke or if it were him that had something over me. But I didn't say a word. I kept quiet because he already thought I was barking mad. I didn't need to give him more evidence.

His stare was still on me, and I still avoided those green eyes. The tension was monumental, but I still ignored it. I waited for him to leave me, to walk out. But he never did. He stood there in his towel and his jaded jade eyes pierced through me as I finally found the guts to look him in the eye.

What was he waiting for? Why wouldn't he just leave me already?

Guilt passed thought me as I saw the side of his face was marbling with purple and blue hues. No doubt come morning it would be a whole lot more colourful.

"What?" I finally snapped. Why did he keep looking at me like that?

He looked away for a moment, and I could see him thinking though his choice of words. "I-I can get you anywhere you want, you know? Tell me where you want to go and I'll let you go. I'll make sure you get there." His words were low and empty. His eyes seemed so hollow as he spoke. He didn't want me to go. I knew it. He would be all alone if I did.

Did I really want to go? Did I want to leave him? Finally I was getting to make a decision and now I didn't want it. I wanted to stay here.

I shook my head as I looked at him. "No," I told him. But it didn't sound like me. My voice sounded foreign. It was low and desperate, pleading not to be sent away. "I want to stay here." I let my eyes drop once again. I was standing in a towel and I felt like I was totally exposed to him, but not physically. I was emotionally exposed to him. And I still wanted him to touch me.

_Touch me._

_Touch me._

_Touch me._

The words played over and over in my head and I was surprised they hadn't come tumbling out of my mouth.

_Touch me._

What if I touched him? Would he pull away from me again. Would he stop me like he had or would he embrace it this time.

His fingers still ghosted my bare, damp shoulder. I wanted to put my hand over his. I wanted to reach for him.

Then his hand was gone.

He dropped it by his waist before picking up a hand towel to dry off his hair.

As if nothing had happened, he turned away from me and wiped at his gloriously damp skin as if I weren't even there.

Turning to the mirror, he turned his back to me, and I could see the small droplets of water slide down his pale skin. His skin was snow white.

I reached out and let my fingers graze off his skin, and at my touch, he froze.

His eyes met mine in the mirror. I had a million questions come into my mind but only one stood out. "Why did you come to my room?" He had come in and had lain down beside me. _Why__?_

His eyebrows raised, looking a little taken back by my question. "Why did you kiss me?" He asked the question I really didn't want to have to answer.

I straightened my shoulders, challenging him. "Because I wanted you to touch me."

He frowned and his eyes fell to the floor instantly. I could see him swallow thickly as he took in my words. "Did you want to touch me?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little bolder than what I should have been.

Turning to me, he folded his arms across his front. "Why would I want to touch you?" he laughed a little nervously. I had him nervous. I could tell with the way he refused to meet my eyes and the higher pitch of his voice. He was trying to avoid my question.

I stepped forward, closer, and silently reached out to him. My right index finger traced along the length of his scar on his chest. I didn't get to reach the end of it, though. He had grabbed me by the wrist and fury burned in his eyes.

"You're still scared." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Last night he had let me touch him and I let him touch me, but in the sober light, he refused to come near me and didn't want me to touch him anymore.

_Touch._

It was all done with fingertips trailing along the skin, but it meant a whole lot more than its simple action.

He didn't want me to touch him, and all I wanted was for him to put his hands on me.

_It's meant to mean something._

His words came back to my mind. It did mean something, but I just didn't know what. What did this all mean? Why was I here and why was it that only this man _could_ touch me?

With my left hand I reached for his chest once again and once again my hand was grabbed.

He had me now. He was touching me, he was controlling me... and I still wasn't scared. It was a whole other sensation I felt.

I looked from my hands to his face and silently challenged him. I didn't know what I was actually even trying to get from him, but I needed more action.

His jaw hardened and he all but threw my hands out from his grip. Pushing past me he tried to leave the bathroom but I tugged on his towel, exposing the damp boxers that stuck to his skin.

I was met with his eyes instantly, and I was sure I heard a growl come from him. "Mature, Bella. Now grow up." He snapped his towel back out of my hand and continued to glare at me. I needed him to stay and he was going to leave. So I did all I could do in some vain attempt to keep him with me. I pulled my own towel off of me.

Standing there, exposed with the exception of my damp underwear, his eyes roamed my body. It was a body, a female body, one that had him acting out already. Surely he would come to me and just touch me. I needed his hands on me now. I wanted his large hands to cuff my wrists and let me feel that sensation again. I wanted his fingers dancing along my shoulder again. I wanted him to hold on to the tips of my fingers and pull me into him again.

"Do you have any idea how mental you are right now?" he spat. "What the hell do you want? You expect me to come near you after... after all of that." I only nodded.

"You told me you were attacked," he reminded me and all I did was shrug. I couldn't think about that moment that had paralysed me in life. All I could think about was the force that was standing in front of me, bringing me back to life.

He frowned. "That's it?" he asked "That's all you're going to say?" He looked disgusted. He turned and walked away. The look of contempt that he held in his eyes haunted me for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Tossing and turning in bed, I realized the stupidity of my words and actions. I made it all so trivial and it wasn't. Least not for Edward.

I wanted him to touch me because he could, and he wanted me away from him, but I kept pushing. Then to shrug my attack off as if it were nothing... It wasn't nothing, it had left a permanent mark on my life, but right now it didn't feel like that. It felt like something that was long ago, in the past. Edward's attack was new and very serious. No wonder he was mad at me and my childish behavior.

Should I apologize?

I couldn't seem to sleep without him. I wasn't sure if it was guilt or the fact that I was still in this strange house, in this strange situation.

What had I said and done? Was he ever going to forgive me for this?

What if he had enough and decided to send me away. He already said he would if I wanted. But what about what he wanted?

_I had to go to him. I had to explain._

My hair was still damp, but I ignored it and continued on my way to Edward with only the tank top and shorts I wore.

Tiptoeing, I reached his bedroom door and slowly opened it. I held my breath at the thought of catching him off guard and me promptly being held up with that stupid gun again. I let him know it was only me, but I was sure he already knew. "Edward," I warned as I paced the carpet, edging my way to his bed.

He shuffled in the covers and I could hear the fine rustle of the material. "How the hell did I know that you would be back?" he asked a little sharply, but tiredly.

"Because you knew that _I knew_ you would huff until you got an apology?" I quipped back as I gently slapped his arm and climbed over him to the other side of his bed.

I felt strangely relaxed around him. Especially for being turned down by him when all I had been in was a damp pair of underwear. To be honest... they weren't the nicest of underwear, but they were my kind of underwear. Little boy shorts. But still, I was almost naked.

I heard him sigh as he shifted in the covers once more. "Are you in here for the duration?" he asked, a little pissed sounding and no doubt going by my actions of getting comfortable in his bed. _Tough._

"Okay, can we get over this, Edward? I know what I said didn't really make sense, but if you let me explain, it will sound at least a little bit better." He let out a low groan.

"A couple of years ago I had this run in with some guy outside a club. He wouldn't stop touching me. His hands were all over me and he just kept grabbing me and pulling me into him... I know it sounds kinda stupid, but it freaked me out, so bad that-that I don't let guys touch me... I mean... I can't." Quick, straight to the point and hopefully some understanding of how it affected me.

That was a stupid thought. This was Edward; he was going to want to know more. Reaching for the lamp, he switched it on promptly lighting up the room from its darkness. The same darkness I felt brave in. I wasn't feeling so brave now with the light shining in my eyes.

"What do you mean you can't? You were asking me to touch you. Why would you do that?" His eyes narrowed as he tried to focus on my features and let his eyes adjust to the light at the same time.

"I know. But you kissed me last night and I never panicked. We... we did what we did and I still didn't freak out. Guys can't put their hands on me without me panicking," I explained. "I just wanted to see if it was the same when I was sober?"

"So you tried to have sex with me?" he spat.

"Sorry if it seems like your slumming it," I nipped back. "But, yes. You were touching me and... and I wasn't freaking out." I sighed feeling like a total fool. He wasn't going to understand where I was coming from. The serious deep fear inside of me when a man approached me.

Generally I could hide it well. I served men in the coffee shop often enough that I could have general conversation with them without the need to hide below the table. But the men that looked at me as if I were prey, they were the ones that terrorized me. I waited to be grabbed and whenever I walked home, I was careful not to walk into trouble. Even though that was exactly what happened the night Edward had saved me. I had trusted James because he pretend to be looking out for me, for my father – he wasn't going to be trying it on... I just never realized that I was prey for some gangster as well.

Rolling toward me, he reached out and took my hand while offering a small smile. "I'm not slumming it with you. You just need to see that there is more to it than that. I bet if you actually let yourself talk to someone and built up trust like you have with me, you would be fine."

He was severally misunderstanding my fear.

I didn't want to even try to start a connection with a man in the hope of having trust with that person. I just wanted to be alone and for no one to try to touch me.

But Edward had. And now I was begging for more of it to see if it really was the alcohol. I knew that he had held my arms, but I trusted him. Maybe it would be diffident if he tried to be intimate with me again.

How the hell did I ask for that after he had knocked me back – twice. And yet here I was, back in his bed. _Did I have no pride__?_

He had always touched me though and it wasn't a thought. I went to him like a magnet. I hadn't even realized. When I was scared, I would run to him.

He looked after me. He kept me fed, he kept me safe, and he kept me clothed and even educated.

I was beginning to hate this situation. I was not a woman to be kept. I didn't want his money. All I wanted was his touch.

Thinking about it, I had asked him to touch me and if I could touch him. What the hell had the tequila done to my mind? I lost all my fear. Was it all about being bottle brave or was there something else there?

I slipped my hand out from his grasp and reached to touch his chest.

Of course he stopped me instantly. "Why do you keep stopping me when you let me touch you last night?" I had cut his hair, shaved him, felt his chest. Was he all about being bottle brave as well? "Why don't you let people touch you?" I snapped.

He pulled away from me and closed himself off. "I do let people touch me. It's all I have done since the attack. Everyone touches me. Do you know what it's like to feel open like that? Some doctor had his hands on my heart. It's still sensitive and... I hate it. I just don't want you having access to that part of me," he grunted.

I sat up and looked down at him. Reaching forward he gently swerved my hand as I reached for his face.

Here I was trying to conquer my own fear and Edward was running along with his.

I reached for him again, capturing his cheek in my palm and stroking his face gently. He swallowed thickly and his eyes were huge like saucers, but he didn't try to pull away this time.

That was strange. His skin felt like it was on fire, his skin clammy. "Do you feel all right?" I asked a little concerned by his temperature.

"Yes. I just don't like people touching me. I'm sure you can understand that." His tone was crisp, but it wasn't as harsh as it had been.

I shook my head. "No. I mean your temperature. Are you feeling all right? You're awfully hot."

A smile crept onto his lips. "I'm still not touching you, Bella." I playfully slapped his arm and shook my head again.

"No. Seriously. You are burning up." I put my hand to his forehead and he accepted my touch without trying to dodge me this time.

He was defiantly forming a temperature. No doubt I had been the cause of it after he followed me out into the rain earlier.

He looked at me, and his eyes were tired. He needed rest in the hope of stopping whatever was working on him. "You should get some sleep." I told him gently. He nodded at my words as his eyes fluttered.

Reaching over, I turned the lamp off and the room turned to darkness again. He hadn't looked too great at all so I decided to lay down beside him in case he needed me for anything.

He tried to argue and tell me to go back to my own bed, but I really didn't want to be there alone anyway, and this was my excuse. I stuck close to the edge of the bed to give him all the space he wanted and with another half hearted, half exhausted argument, he gave up and let himself fall asleep.

He slept thought the night but he was restless. The covers were on him then they were off him, only to be put back on him once more. That was how it went all night.

By the time morning came, he was sound asleep and worn out. His face was an ill colour of grey and under his eyes were pretty dark too. As I reached over to check his temperature, he woke up, his eyes never really opening all the way.

"How are you feeling this morning?" I asked as I let my fingers sweep across his forehead. He made no attempt to escape my hand this time, so I knew he wasn't well.

He mumbled a "fine" into his pillow before he rolled over on to his front as I reached for the back of his neck. He was soaked with sweat.

"Edward, you are not fine," I argued. "I'll get you some Tylenol to bring down your temperature and get you some water and some orange juice." He needed to try to replenish what his body was ringing out of him.

Watching him try to get up, I pushed him back into his bed. "No, Edward. You should stay in bed."

His arms seemed weak as he tried to lift himself up and as I headed for the door, he was trying to get out of bed. He wobbled from side to side and I could see him become dizzy and lost on his feet. His legs buckled and I rushed to him to push him back down to the mattress before he hit the floor.

"Easy, okay." My fingers swept at the side of his hair and his eyes closed at my touch. "Let's get you tucked back in and I'll get you what you need."

With his eyes still closed he shook his head. "No. I'm fine. Just give me a minute." I don't think he even believed his own lie. The tone of his voice wasn't doing much to encourage me.

"Please... Just let me look after you, okay? I think I owe you one." I kept my tone light and continued to sweep my fingers through his hair as I watched him. His eyes were still shut.

Sliding up the mattress, he got back into his position and eased onto his pillows. He let out a tired sigh as his hand reached out. Reaching for him, I took it in both my hands and brought my face to his before moving my right hand to his forehead in the aid to wipe away some stray hairs that were sticking to his forehead.

Eventually he opened his eyes and asked for his cell phone. I was adamant that he wasn't going to get it, but I knew if I refused him, he would only get back out of bed to get it himself.

Walking to his vanity, I picked up his phone and took it to him. Leaving him alone, I headed down stairs to get him what he needed to help bring down that temperature.

* * *

Of course, Edward being Edward, he still had control of any situation from the confines of his bed. He had been quick on the phone to make me an appointment with a doctor to get the morning after pill.

I knew it was needed, but it was more than embarrassing having him sort out my appointment with the gynaecologist for me. Not only that, but he had arranged a car for me – a proper chauffeur driven car – not a cab or a lift from perhaps someone trustworthy, like Rosalie. Instead I had Riley. He was young, a little shorter than Edward, and had dark brown hair. He was pleasant enough, but something told me that he was all about business because Edward was all about business.

After seeing the doctor, and having her thrust about six months' worth of contraception at me (despite my protests), I made it back to the car.

Riley leaned against the door of the gorgeous black Limousine as he looked up to the clear sky that had recovered from last night's rain.

He heard my footsteps and his eyes jumped to me. He was back on his feet, standing straight. His body was ridged as he opened the door for me. I gave a shy smile and a "thank you" as I got in, closing the door behind me.

Looking around the back seat, I didn't know what to say or do. Riley's eyes checked on me every so often and I would smile at him.

The silence was deafening and I needed to have conversation. I needed conversation with someone other than Edward. "So... have you worked for Edward long?" I probed.

His eyes met mine in the mirror before giving a quick, "Yes, mama." I nodded and sank further into my seat.

Did he know much about Edward? Edward had spoken of driving himself when Jasper had taken us up to Forks. Why did he have a driver?

"Do you drive him around a lot?" I pushed.

His eyes met mine again and he gave a hesitant nod come shake. What was that meant to tell me? "I don't mean to speak out of turn, mama, but I don't want it to appear that I'm reporting him to his new partner."

_Partner._

_Partner?_

"I'm not his partner," I spat out at him a little too quickly and loudly as I pounced forward in my seat. "I mean we're friends - Sort of. And can you call me Bella?" I asked, hoping that he would drop all the formal graces as they were starting to grate on me a little.

"Sure, Bella." He quickly turned his head over his shoulder and gave a small smile.

I tried again, "I don't know Edward _that_ well." I emphasized on the word _that_, because in reality I knew him lot more than I had known any other man. "He is a friend of my dad's." I told him. It was almost true.

I leaned back into my seat and let the silence fall between us. A few minutes passed before he let out a small sigh. "His girlfriend usually was the one to be driven around," he told me. "Dr. Cullen would only really be driven if it was some kind of event or important meeting."

"Event?" I asked a little confused. Do doctors tend to go to events?

"Yes. There were a few celebrities that used his _services_," he rolled his eyes at that one. "They had a lot of press surrounding them. A few charity events to keep higher powers happy, and of course just their general PR." He let it all come flying out of his mouth so fast, he stopped himself with wide eyes.

"And?" I pushed once more.

"I think I have said enough. Like I said, I don't want Dr. Cullen to think I'm reporting on him." He gave a shy worried smile that asked if I was going to keep the conversation between us.

"What about his father?" I tried. Riley remained quiet. He kept his eyes on the road and it was as if I never spoke. "His dad?" _Why did he go quiet?_ "I won't tell anyone," I promised.

He let out a little frustrated groan, but gave me what I wanted to hear – well some of it. "Cullen senior... he's - he's an interesting man." Another groan escaped his lips before he quickly looked back over his shoulder at me. "Do you want to hear what I should say, or do you want to hear what I think?" Looking back from the mirror, his eyes looked at me with raised brows. He was cutting all the crap if I wanted it that way. _Of course I wanted it that way._

"Is he as bad as they make him out to be?" I asked.

"He's probably worse," he told me truthfully. "He had some serious control issues and Edward – I mean Dr. Cullen was his main puppet."

I sniggered at his fear of Edward's name slipping out of his mouth instead of Dr. Cullen. _Geezo, __Dr.__ Cullen._

"And do you think it's helped Edward to be away from his father?" I asked. I knew I had seen changes in him myself and I hadn't even known Edward as long as Riley had.

"I really couldn't tell you. He sacked me right after his attack – But I got my jab back this morning." He beamed with a fake smile and some kind of after thought.

"You don't like him, do you? Edward, I mean." He didn't seem to be that pleased to be working for him.

"I like him. I do. He's up front and honest but he's a little too... damaged. And a little demanding. I already had another job but he doubled my salary if I started this afternoon." Riley began to grow a little hesitant after he spoke. He never said anything, it was how he was acting. It was as if he wished to take back all he had said.

"Thanks for talking to me. It's helped me to figure him out a little bit more." I replied just as we began to pull outside the house.

It still didn't feel like _Home of the Free,_ but at least I knew that someone was inside waiting for me.

I only hopped that Edward was feeling a little better now.

* * *

I let myself in to the house and closed the door behind me. On the stair, Edward sat waiting. His eyes were still tired and he looked even worse than he had before.

"What are you doing out of bed?" I snapped at him and then regretted it. I didn't want it to sound like I was telling him what to do, but at the same time he was clearly sick.

"I wanted to know if you were all right?" He was being genuine and it made me hate myself for being sort with him.

"Fine," I nodded. "She was very nice to me and so was Riley." I was just trying to keep the lorry load of contraception out of his view. I said I didn't need it and I didn't want Edward to think that I had ideas far beyond my station.

He nodded. " Riley's nice. That's why I hired him for you. He's there for you, whenever you need a car to go somewhere. I know I'm keeping you in close, but I understand that you might want away from here for a little while. I trust him and he won't take you anywhere that I don't agree to."

_He hired a driver and car for me? Why?_

_But of course, it came with Edwards stamp of __a__pproval_.

"I don't need a driver, Edward. And you should be in bed," I reminded him a little pointedly. Walking toward him, I reached for his face to check his temperature. He still felt like he was burning up.

As per usual, though, he swerved my hand. "Do you mind not touching me?" he mumbled as he tried to stand.

He stood tall above me and tried to assert some kind of authority over me with our height difference. He failed miserably, though, when his legs buckled and he reached out for me, grabbing hold of me for stability.

I caught him in my hands and he huffed as he tried to stand up straight and act as if nothing had happened. "What's this?" he asked as he reached for my prescription bag.

"Nothing that is any business of yours," I snapped back and pulled away from him altogether. "Get back into bed and I'll bring you some lunch," I ordered a little more gently. He was looking worn and earlier he had said he had a head ache. I didn't want to make him feel any worse.

"I can look after myself, Bella." His argument was weak, and so was his tone of voice. He could barely stand up straight, and I was already worried. Was it so hard for him to be the one that needed a little help? Even only if it was only this one occasion.

I turned away from him and shook my head as I walked away. "Bed, Edward," was all I said to end the argument.

Walking to the kitchen I headed for the huge pot of vegetable soup I had made earlier. It had been left to simmer, letting all the flavours and stock develop properly. Taking bread out of the pantry, I cut off a couple of slices of the thick wholemeal for Edward and poured some soup in a bowl and fixed the lot up on a tray. I added a bottle of fresh water and some more fruit juice to the tray along with some medication for his fever and his sore head.

Pusing through his bedroom door, I smiled at him doing what I asked of him. _Lying__ in bed_. He gave a tight lipped smile as he sat up and waited for me to bring his food.

I was careful to place the tray on his lap so not to spill anything on him. His eyes fluttered again and I knew it was because there was something wrong with him. He was so decisive though. He wouldn't hear of me calling out a doctor to check him over. His argument was that he was a doctor and he said he was fine so I was to quit nagging.

_Nagging?_

_Seriously?_

"You know you don't have to do any of this," he wheezed out. That sound was new. _That sound_ _had me worried._ Why had he wheezed if there was nothing wrong with him?

I ignored it for the moment and answered him. "Well I wanted to." I shrugged as I stroked his hair out of his sweaty face. He didn't jump away from my touch this time. He was probably concentrating on the boiling soup that sat on his lap.

He let out a small moan of pleasure as he tasted the soup and I left him be while he ate.

* * *

I had spent the day deep in the midst of my books as Edward had tried to sleep off his fever. It was almost eight o'clock when I decided to check on him.

I left the study and climbed the stairs, going straight in without knocking on his door for warning. When I opened the door, I got a bit of a surprise. Edward, naked, sitting on his bed with all but a towel barely covering his modesty.

"Bella," he called my name with anguish as he tried to cover himself up with the duvet. "Get out," he ordered promptly.

I tore my eyes away from him and looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep... Did you just have a shower?" As if the evidence wasn't right in front of me.

"Not that it's any concern of yours, but yes. I had a shower." He let out a sigh. "Will you leave and let me get dressed,"

I put my hands up in surrender before quickly turning my back and scurrying out the door. Was he okay? He had struggled on his feet this afternoon.

Without even a beat, I heard a clatter from inside his bedroom alerting me that he, in fact, wasn't okay.

Rushing through his door, I didn't wait for niceties, not after I had heard that commotion. When I opened the door I found him lying on his back, but this time with boxer shorts covering him up.

"I'm fine," he groaned, answering my question before I even had time to ask it. "I just got a bit hot and dizzy from the shower." His eyes closed as he rubbed at his smooth face, his pink scars keeping their prominent colour.

Getting down on my knees, I checked him over. He felt cold, but he said he was hot and dizzy. "How are you feeling right now?" I asked as I felt his chest for his body temperature. His hand came down over mine but he didn't say a word; he turned to look me in the eyes.

He looked exhausted. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and call for a doctor, but he would never accept either one.

His eyes fluttered closed again, but this time they stayed shut. He seemed like he was almost sleeping as he lay out on the floor.

He let out shallow breaths and he continued to have a small wheeze follow his inhales and exhales. It had me really worried. Only two months ago he had his heart literally stitched back together. He was still weak and frail, even if he didn't look it or even seem to show any sign of fragility.

So I was there for him. Because he was cold and because he needed someone to simply be there for him. Pulling on the duvet, I brought it down to us on the floor and rested my head on his chest. He tried to argue but I ignored him again. It was becoming a habit.

Like I said, he tried to argue. He put up a moments fight before quickly conceding to me and my ways and wrapping an arm around my waist, subsequently pulling me further into him, into his chest.

My ear rested against his scar and I could hear his wheeze a little more clearly as he breathed.

He smelled fresher. I was sure there was some infection starting on him and if he got any worse, I was calling a doctor. Nine-one-one if I had too.

On the floor, the two of us lay in silence as the darkness filled the room, stealing our daylight. Edward gave a little shuffle every so often. And that was it. It was a strange moment, but it was a moment without upset or a battle between us. Or tequila for that matter.

After an hour or so, I got him back into bed and wrapped up in his covers. He was beginning to grow more and more hot again, and I was within an inch of calling for medical intervention.

He lay down slowly across his mattress, and as I began to pull away, to leave him to rest for the evening, he reached out for me. His arm stretched out and his clammy cool hand captured the tips of my fingers.

Turning to face him, I was met with a set of little, lost eyes. He looked young, not with youthful looks, but the look of innocence in him.

"Are you all right?" Did he want something? Did he want a doctor? My knees bent as I pulled myself closer to him, trying to fathom out his needs.

He let out a little, tired cough before he spoke."Will you stay with me?"

_Stay with him... In his bed?_

It wasn't unusual for us to share a bed. But for Edward to ask me to stay with him, that threw me.

"What?" I shook my head. "I mean, yes. Of course I will." I somehow began to fuss around him as a swarm of butterflies took off in my stomach. Nerves? Now I felt nervous? "Is there anything I can get you first?" I asked as I began to tug on his pillow.

With a gentle grip, he pulled my hand away from my tugging and my nervous behaviour and he shook his head. "No. Can we go to sleep?" He did sound tired. I nodded and told him I would be right back once I had changed into my pyjamas.

* * *

He did sleep. In fact, he slept like a baby.

After he had spent thirty minutes to get comfortable, he passed out and rolled straight onto me. I couldn't just ignore him and pretend that his sleeping body wasn't trying to seek out some heat and comfort to get through the night. I cuddled back into him and listened to him breathing. It's what I had been doing for the past four hours.

Despite his sleeping form, he still didn't seem to get any better. He shivered more and more and his grip grew tighter and tighter. His wheezing was quite frankly scaring the shit out of me. and I was laying, there, with baited breath, half expecting him to give up on me.

With hard fast strokes, I tried to warm him up with some friction but only succeeded in waking him up.

I took the moment to jump to his needs instantly. Picking up a blister pack of Tylenol, I popped a couple into my hand. "Take these," I ordered as his sleepy eyes tried to adjust. Switching on the light, the room glowed. I reached for a bottle of water for him to swallow the pills with.

_I had enough. I was calling a doctor._

Getting out of his plush super king, I reached for his bathrobe and wrapped it around me as I reached for the phone. Edward only watched with curiosity.

"I need a number of a doctor that can get here right now or I'm taking you to the hospital." I was sharp, a little too sharp, but I wasn't having him tell me no.

"I'm fine, Bella," he argued faintly as he rolled his head back into his pillows.

"No, you're not. You have some kind of virus or infection - and you just had surgery," I pushed.

"I had surgery two months ago. I'll be fine. I just need to shake it off." His hands wiped at his face, and he grabbed on to his hair, struggling to keep arguing.

"Please," I begged. "Just do this and rest my mind. I'm going to go insane." I went to his bedside and landed on my knees as I took his hand in mine, pleading.

He shuffled up on his elbows. "Get off the floor, Bella." He was so done in that he couldn't even begin to put up an argument. He flopped back down into the bed almost instantly.

From my spot on the floor I picked up his cell phone and called the person who Edwards said would be there for me. Riley.

He tried to get his phone back but he was too frail to even get up and take it from me so it served as my point. He needed medical help. "Who are you calling?" _Wheeze._ That damn sound was going to haunt my ears. It sounded like he was gasping for his last breath.

"Riley," I told him quickly as I tried to work my way around his phone. God, I hated technology. I could manage the basics, but anything beyond that and I was lost.

_Wheeze._ "You can't call him."

"Watch me."

"He'll be asleep," he tried to reason.

"I don't care. You might die."

He sighed and wheezed."For Christ's sake, Bella. I'm not going to die. I'm just ill. Stop overreacting." I probably was overreacting but I didn't care. It wasn't too much trouble to get a check over from a doctor and for your driver to actually drive you there. He was the one making a mountain out of a molehill.

Was it so hard for him to just settle my mind? To stop me from worrying about him? I didn't like to see him suffer. He had suffered enough already.

The cell phone connected and began to ring. I waited, hoping for Riley to answer. I'm sure if he saw Edward's name flash across his phone, he would answer.

He did. He answered after three rings, and I felt myself relax a little. Our conversation was short, but he was more than obliging. _I'm sure he was after Edward doubling his salary_.

Ending the call, I knew I had to get Edward and myself ready. Riley was going to take about thirty minutes to get here, but it was better than nothing.

I was wearing Edward's bathrobe, and realizing exactly what I had on, and whom it belonged too, I felt some annoyance at having to take it off._ Why? It was a bathrobe._

Putting the thought in my head to the side, I pushed on with what was needed. I would get myself dressed first.

"I'll be right back and then I'll help you get ready," I told Edward. He rose an eyebrow, as if he was simply having none of it. I didn't care, because right now I was the one that was taking control of the situation. I was in control.

_I was in control._

For the first time since I had been with Edward, I was beginning to think that this situation wasn't entirely out of my hands. I had some grip on the things that went on. Hell, it wasn't as if Edward had forced himself upon me. It had been me who allowed it. I had control over myself and to a point, control over Edward in the same way I let him have control over me.

I knew he blamed himself, but I was as much to blame as him. It was just something that had happened.

I left him in his room and quickly threw on sweats and a hooded top that belonged to Edward. _Why did I have his top?_ I shook it off and hurried to get ready so to help Edward.

He put up a fight and a good old fashion moan about his modesty and that I shouldn't see him undressed. Was he forgetting the floor-hugging only hours ago? Or better yet, the sex we had around this time yesterday.

He rolled his eyes at me, and I helped him steady on his feet as he pulled on his sweats before bending down to put socks on him. I won't even begin with his words on that one. Something involving the words "fucking" and "geriatric". I kept my snide comments to myself only because he was unwell. If it had been any other time, he would have got the wrath of my tongue.

Edward was almost sleeping again by the time Riley had arrived. I met Riley at the door and asked for him to help me take Edward to the car. Edward was never going to manage it by himself. He seemed to get worse as the minutes ticked by, and I was beginning to feel genuinely sick with worry.

What was happening to him? I hated having no clue and not being able to even attempt to help him. Tylenol wasn't cutting it anymore and I had run out of options.

Another argument. Edward only wanted to wear his t-shirt to the hospital. He was too warm now. It would do him no good though to go out in the cold night only half dressed. He still needed to keep warm.

_Who the hell was the doctor here?_

Edward was definitely the patient and a really bad one at that. He was about to kill my own patience.

* * *

The hospital was a blur.

Who knew so many people got sick during the night?

All we seemed to do was wait.

Riley was shattered and I insisted that he go back to the house and find himself a room to sleep in. I don't actually know why I had called him out in the middle of the night. It would have been a lot better to get a cab to the hospital. The thought of hearing any bad news and me being alone had me worried. What would I do? Who would I call? Sure, I knew to call Emmett and I could call Jasper. But what if it was really bad and I just couldn't handle it? What if I couldn't make those simple calls? Would the hospital do it for me?

So Riley left us. It was me and Edward and countless others all waiting for help. My chest continued to tighten as Edward struggled more and more. He just kept stumbling down that hill.

His head rested on my knee and his body was all crammed up on the two seats next to me. I had no idea how he could get his six foot odd frame tied up like that, but he managed it. He was tired and would fall in and out of sleep. His fingers gripped deep into my thigh as he continued to tremble. He was hot and he was cold. Even I couldn't decide what he was. His forehead was blazing but he kept saying he was cold and that was with my hoodie over his shoulders.

I sat in my t-shirt. I was cold too. I still had no jacket and that hoodie was the warmest thing I had with me at Edwards. But all I cared about was that it helped Edward. If I did have a jacket, I would have given him that too.

My own eyes began to close. The sting behind my eyelids telling me just to let it go and get some rest.

"Edward Cullen?" A male voice called from across the Emergency department. My eyes darted up.

I rose my hand trying to signal to the doctor. Edward was asleep once again and had heard nothing. "Over here," I called.

A man with short dark hair came toward me with a warm, knowing smile.

"Edward," I caressed his cheek lightly in an attempt to wake him. "Edward, there is a doctor ready for you."

His green eyes shone with sickness, a glazed expression crossing his features.

"Hey, Edward. I'm Dr. Ross. I'm gonna take a look over you, all right?" Dr. Ross's arms reached out for Edward, helping him to his feet and have him walk to the examination room. I followed behind him, unsure if he wanted me there or not. I suppose he would let me know if he didn't.

After I had explained his symptoms to the doctor and Edward drawing dirty looks at me, the doctor began listening to his chest.

Pulling up his shirt, he was met with Edward's scar. Dr. Ross stopped and focused on it for a second before he began. "How did you get that scar?" the doctor asked gently as he trailed his fingers over it. Edward looked at me and I could read the words from his eyes. _Look, see, he's touching me. _I could hear the snarky tone of voice and all.

"I was stabbed. Went right through. They had to patch me up in the OR," Edward quickly explained.

The doctor frowned, thinking. He never spoke though.

"I thought it might be a chest infection with his wheezing," I put in to the silence as the doctor stood there thinking.

Dr. Ross turned to me and gave me a beautiful smile. God he was gorgeous. Why hadn't I noticed before? "I think you are right about that. I'll order an X-ray and see what's going on." His smile faded and he looked back at Edward in thought. "I'm going to call in a scan for you too, okay?" He nodded to Edward.

_Scan._

_Why?_

"Why the scan?" I jumped to Edward's side, clutching his hand.

"I'm just checking that everything is okay. Nothing to worry about. Like you, I think it's a chest infection. But he did have surgery not too long ago. I think we should take a little look and make sure everything is okay."

"I am still here, you know?" Edward gave out with a bitter tone, annoyed.

"Edward, be nice," I growled right back and glared at him. He shut up and receded into his bed covers.

"Edward, I'm going to give you an IV of antibiotics and some fluids, okay?" he clarified with a small smile. "There is infection... I just don't know where yet." But I though he said it was in his lungs like I had said?

That worried me.

Edward nodded silently.

"Do you wish for me to contact your next of kin? It's down on your insu-"

"NO!" Edward actually shouted and sat up in his bed.

I jumped with fright and looked at him. He wasn't mad, he seemed scared.

The doctor nodded. "As you wish,"

Lying back down, Edward gathered his composure. "Yes. Bella is my next of kin now. Anything happens to me, it's up to her."

My heart leapt into my throat as I looked at him. Was he trusting me, practically a stranger, to decide the important issues of his health? Hell, his life?

"Edward," I tried to begin.

"No, Bella. You are it. Okay?" I somehow gave out a small nod, answering him yes. Inside I was anything but okay with it.

"All right. I'll be back soon enough. There will be a nurse in to give you your IV and then take you to X-ray and for a scan at the same time." And with that, the doctor left us.

"You had a big smile for him," Edward randomly bit at me.

_What? What was he talking about?_

"What are you talking about?" I eyed him with a furrowed as I took my seat.

"You and the doctor. All smiles. I mean, he is good looking." _Wait, what?_

"Are you having some kind of fit of delusion with that high temperature of yours?" Where was this coming from? He was in a hospital bed, barely conscious, yet he was picking on me for being nice to the doctor. What did he want? Me to argue with Dr. Ross?

"No. I'm serious. He's good looking, a doctor, so I know he has money and he was interested in you," he told me seriously. _I think?_

I laughed at him. "You have lost your mind. God, I should have brought you here hours ago." I shook my head at his words.

"You should ask him out." _Oh my god_. He _was_ delusional. No man like him would go out with me. Or even take a second look.

"Okay, stop, Edward," I ordered, feeling a little uncomfortable with this entire conversation.

"No. Just go and ask him out." Did Edward want rid of me? "I know you think he's good looking." He taunted. Why was he starting all this? In the middle of the night? I didn't want to ask the doctor out. I didn't want to think about going near him. Yes, he was good looking but Edward's words made my skin crawl.

"Go," he ordered.

"No, Edward. No. Okay? Just stop." I almost shouted the words and only realized my gaff after I let the words escape my mouth. This place was filled with ill people. They didn't need me creating noise.

"Why not? He is good looking?" he pressed again.

"Shut up. Just shut up already." I palmed my eyes and tried to shake his words out of my head.

"But he's good looking," he bit again. _Fuck me._ Shut up already.

I looked at him sharply and the words came from my mouth before I even thought them through. "Do you think I care what he looks like? Do you think I'm that shallow?"

Edward's eyes dropped and I knew that I had just insulted him, because to Edward, looks meant everything. He _was_ that shallow.

"So what, I'm shallow and you just had sex with me because you like to make the mutilated feel better?" His voice was low and it stung.

I ignored him. He was ill and he was taking it out on anyone he could. He felt crap, so he wanted the whole damn wold to feel the same. I couldn't really blame him.

"So I'm shallow?" His words trailed off into the air between us and he was took my silence as a yes. He was wrong. "I'm shallow," he called out again to the air. "I'm so, so shallow."

"Edward, shut up," I yelped at him as I stood up. Looking him in the eye, I was honest. "If you care about what they look like and what is in their wallet more than you care about what is in the inside, then yes, that makes you shallow. But you are not really like that. So don't start your bullshit and try to hide behind words, or try to hurt me. I'll tell you how it is. I know I'm not the best, but least I'm _trying_. You just... you just... you won't even let me touch you." I sighed in frustration. "That's the difference between us. I _try_ to open up... and you just want to shut down."

Edward's eyes burned into mine. His green, sick, glazed eyes,burned deep. I couldn't look away.

Why did he always push me away?

Why did I care so damn much?

It wasn't like I was going to be with him forever. Another week and I would be home. I was sure of it.

I was sure of that the first day, though, too.

When did I get to go home? Edward didn't want me near him. He wanted company, but just enough so not to be alone in the house. He didn't want me. Maybe he missed Tanya.

"Dr. Cullen," a sweet warm female voice called as she walked into the exam room. " I'm Ashley. I'm here to connect you up to your IV and get you to X-ray."

* * *

"Now don't you worry about a thing," Ashley called out as she wheeled Edward in for his scan. I stopped at the door to allow him his privacy, turning my back to the room. "All you need to do is lie back and maybe even-"

"Bella," Edward called my name. He sounded distressed. "Bella, stay with me." Turning on my feet I was met with worried eyes, so I gave him a small smile and rushed back to his side, taking his hand in mine.

He relaxed a little, and I could see the tension leave his shoulders. He was worried about what they would find. I was sure he'd be fine though. He was fit as a fiddle until I had made him come chasing after me out in the rain.

If he were ill, it was my fault, my doing.

I squeezed his hand tighter. "Relax, Edward." And for some unknown reason, I pushed forward and kissed his lips. A soft sweet kiss that only lasted a second but felt like ages.

Meeting his eyes, he looked a little shocked, but he said nothing as he squeeze my hand.

Another doctor entered and began the scan. She squirted gel across Edward chest and he shuddered. I guess that stuff really was cold after all. She prodded Edwards chest with the scanner, and instantly, the room filled with Edward's heartbeat.

I smiled down at him. So the Beast has a heart after all. _Who knew?_

Buttons were pressed. "Hmmm's" fell from her mouth, and all the time, the nerves in my stomach multiplied. God knows how Edward was feeling.

She seemed to focus on some part of his heart. Which part was anybody's guess. All I knew was that some little box kept being placed over the same area. Blue and red colours passed across the screen and with the calming patter of Edward's heart rate playing through the darkness in the room, I felt myself beginning to grow tired and slip onto Edward on the bed.

My head touched his. He looked up at me he was apologetic. He didn't need to be. Clearly there was something wrong with him. It wasn't a game.

"Lie up on the bed." He patted the small piece of mattress next to him.

The doctor gave out a cough, a warning cough. I smiled back at Edward and shook my head. "It's all right, I'm fine." I went back into leaning on him a little, his hand still in mine.

* * *

Sitting waiting for Dr. Ross to come back, I nervously twitched, anxious of what was going on. There was news from the scan. I was sure of it.

Edward had flitted in and out of consciousness. As I watched him, his lashes batted, fighting with exhaustion.

"Edward," Dr .Ross called as he walked in to the exam room "There were things found in both your X-ray and ultrasound. In the X-ray it showed that you appear to be suffering from a lower chest infection," Edward and I nodded.

Dr. Ross studied him for a moment. I felt my gut clench at the thought of what they had found.

_What they had found wrong with his heart?_

* * *

_**A/n: Ahhh and I leave it there. Sorry! Okay here is where you come in. Do you want a well beta'd version of the next chappy or do you want me to go thru it spotting my mistakes and trying to fix it and post?**_

_**I will ask the amazing Ozza to go over this and re-post but do you want me to continue putting up the rest of the story. I have rough drafts up to chappy 13! I thought I was more ahead, but I'm not :(**_

_**Let me know and let me know what you think of the chapter or ever just the story? **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**a/n; completely unbeta'd. I just dont have enough time to go through it so thoughly with my beta. I hope you dont mind. I will try my hardest to make it as good as possible for you though. Sorry for no replys to my last chapter. I loved your reviews and wuold love to hear more of them. Let me know what you think of me flying solo on this chappy. I hope you like it.**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 11**

_EPOV_

"We also found Endocarditus along the stent that they had to place after you had been stabbed." I let my eyes close as the words sank in. _Endocarditus_. I knew what it was. And I knew what it could do to me. It was my curse. I never died from the stab to the heart, so karma decided I was to kick the bucket this way.

"Endo-what?" Bella's voice whispered out as she frowned, I could see the confusion in her eyes.

"It's an infection that kills you, Bella." I spat out, finally feeling the fear that Bella had made me forget.

"Edward," The doctor started. "It's not like that. It's early, you are in hospital and we had already started treating it before we even knew it was there. It's not going to kill you."

_Yes it was_. Karma was still chasing me and if it wasn't going to be this that killed me, then something else would. It wasn't giving up on destroying me.

"What is it? I don't understand what your saying." Panic filled Bella's voice as she stood up and gripped on to my hand. She looked at the doctor desperately.

"It's an infection that builds up on the heart, often after a foreign object is placed into the heart. Like Edwards stent that they put in to help repair the damage. The lung infection cause it to speed up a little."

"This is my fault." She gasped at me. "If I had never ran, you would have been fine." Her brown eyes began to glaze over as she paled. She looked like she was going to be sick. "This is my fault. What if you die?" She began to panic as she pulled away from me. I never let go of her hand. I kept her with me, to save her from running away once again.

"Miss, he will _not_ die. He is already recovering. If it was left untreated then yes, he would have died. He will be just fine." I smiled at her but the panic was still all over her face, she was still trying to pull away. "If anything, you bringing him to the ER with his chest infection, saved his life." Her eyes furrowed forward as she looked up at him confused. "He most likely developed the lung infection because his immune system is still a little low. Add in the Endocarditus and it would have happened in the end. It no ones fault, just bad luck." The doctor looked at me "We'll keep you in for observation and an IV, but you will be ready for home within a day or so."

Bella gasped and placed her had over her mouth, tears threatening to spill.

"I'll leave you be right now," Dr Ross told us as he swiftly left us alone.

She still pulled away from me, but she never argued for me to let go of her hand. Instead she twisted away from me, keeping her back to me, keeping her face and her emotion away from me.

I gave her a moment. I never pressed for words. I remained silent as she took in what was happening. I understood it. It was part of my job._ Was _part of my job.

Finally, she started to fight. She tugged her arm and pulled her hand out of my grasp. "I'm... I'm just going to get you a drink." She told me as she ran out of the exam room and never once meeting my eyes.

Being left alone, I stared up to the celling tiles and briefly wondered how long they had been there for them to turn that yellow colour. I was sure that they had put white ones in. Their always white. Clinical, so-called hygienic.

_I didn't want a drink. _

Why had she left like that?

I knew it was only an excuse. She had pulled away from me again. I only wanted to know that she was all right. I was meant to be keeping an eye on her, keeping her safe. I didn't like not knowing where she was.

The gentle tone of the florescent lights blinked to bright and I knew it was officially morning. We had been here for most of the night. I had slept for the most part and hadn't realized we had been here so long.

Noise passed from the door and I could hear the shift change. The night shift ending and the day beginning.

_Where was Bella?_

I was beginning to worry.

_Give her a moment. _

It was actually hard to believe how strong she had been through the night. She had been there for me. Like was really, actually, physically there for me. Holding my hand, smoothing my hair, there for me.

"I got you apple juice." Her sweet voice had me turning to the door instantly. She was still here and though I could tell she had been crying, I never said a word because the smile on her face was asking me not to.

"Thanks," I croaked. "My mouth is so dry." I lied with a small smile. I hadn't asked for it, but I didn't want to point that one out. So we both pretended.

She fought with the the little carton and pierced it with the straw. Carefully she sat on the edge of my bed and directed the bendy straw to my lips so I could drink it.

Her eyes focused on my moth and the straw while the full time I abused her concentration just so I could look into her eyes without her knowing. Her eyes quickly met mine and I was caught out. Neither one of us broke our look away though. Not even Bella when she pulled the straw out from my mouth and brought the carton to her own mouth and sipped from my straw.

"Sorry, I should have bought two. I-I just wasn't thinking." She blushed a little and dropped her eyes.

I laughed without humour at her embarrassment. We had shared more than a straw. I think we both would survive it. It wasn't like I could pass on my Endocaritus. And it was unlikely that I would pass along my chest infection. But she could still pick up my germs.

I kept quiet. It was doubtful.

She rested the carton to the side, on the patients table and then reached for my face, sweeping my hair back. It was damp from the sweat of my high fever and I cringed at the though of her finding me repulsive because of it.

Her lips widened and she gave a soft smile "You know, you look quite sweet when you smile." her words were knifes to the heart all over again and I felt my own smile fall to a frown. My smile was a joke. The two big scars marring my face on either side took care of that. I looked like some martyred clown.

Her smile fell to and she closed her eyes. "I never..." her worlds trailed into the air and I hated myself for thinking she was making fun of me.

I shifted in my bed and pulled away from the situation. It was my turn to pull away. "I need to sleep," I mumbled as I rolled away from her. I heard some tired sigh from her and the bed shifted as she got up and moved back to her seat, away from me, where she belonged.

* * *

I woke up on a ward somewhere with the feeling of some one watching me. I could feel their eyes on me as I slept and after feeling the thick fingers trail across the back of my hand and on the back of my IV, I felt their hand reach across my face, along my scar on the right side.

My eyes instinctively opened up in fear as my breath caught in my lungs.

Opening them I was met with Emmett and one of his finger pressed to his lips, warning to me to be silent. He motioned to Bella who was curdled up in what looked like the most uncomfortable seat ever. She was going to be in agony once she woke up.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked really know the answer already.

"Bella." He smiled knowingly "Are you feeling all right?"

I nodded, yes. "Actually, I'm feeling a whole lot better than I did when she dragged me in here." It was the antibiotics, but without her dragging my ass in here, I wouldn't have had them and not only would have my chest infection got worse, my endocarditus would have placed me in a lot more of a serious predicament.

Like I had saved her by dragging her unconscious ass out of that street, she had saved me by dragging my infected ass into the hospital.

"That's good. I was worried when she called. She was pretty upset. I didn't know what state I was going to find you this time."

I smirked. "I'm going to be fine. Don't worry." With the time on the clock and how long it would have taken Emmett to get here I was guessing that she had called him when she went rushing out to get my Apple juice. But how did she manage it?

"Rosalie is worried. I'm going to give her a quick call to let her know you are fine and I'll be right back. Okay, bro?" he pointed a finger at me as he silently slipped back out of the door he had must have entered and closed it with a small bang.

Bella jumped at the noise and instantly stood by my side, only half awake. If even that. "Are you all right? I heard a noise." She rubbed her right eye as she clasped at my hand with her left.

"I'm fine. But apparently Rosalie is worried and Emmett is away to call her." She turned crimson instantly.

"I'm sorry. I just thought he should know. I was worried." She rushed her words out as if she were some petulant child trying to explain herself.

"It's fine. It was nice to wake up and have him here actually." It was a nice surprise. He had been so quick to rush to my side after Bella had called him. "Though you could have told me."

She nodded. "I know. I was just worried. You put me as your next of kin. I thought if anything went wrong that it should be Em-"

"Just stop, Bella. Stop. All right? I put you as my next of kin because I know that you would do the right thing. It was just paper work. I needed a name and you were there and I knew that you wouldn't try to bump me off." I smirked. Was she really worried about making any decisions like that?

"Oh," She looked a little shocked. "I-I just... Emmett would make better decisions than me," her tone was a little pointed.

I grasped on to her hand tighter. "Well my family were too far away and I trusted you enough to make the right decision for me." I lowered my voice "Actually don't tell Emmett this, but I think I trust your judgement a little bit more." I winked at her, lightening the tension a little.

"All right, Edward. It's good to see you awake and in to those pretty eyes of yours." A middle aged nurses called as she came barging in through my hospital room. "I need to check out your stats." The woman's hair was long and dark brown. Tied up, but you could tell there was length to it. She was pretty for her age. Womanly.

She came at me with all different means of measurements. My blood pressure, my temperature, my heart rate, my oxygen status, pupil dilation.

She cuffed me and as the pressure grew uncomfortable on my arm, it quickly went down as the machine beeped and gave out my results.

Bella stood off to the side, by the window. She watched and kept quiet while she tried to hide the fact that she was paying some morbid attention to the nurse. She watched her back, her hands. She straightened out her spine as she watched the nurse help me lean forward in my bed.

There was no doubt about it, Bella was acting a little weird. But she was tired. Maybe her body was becoming too restless, like when all you want to do is sleep but your legs decide its time to dance at two o'clock in the morning.

Emmett walked in without a knock and apologised to the nurse. She waved him off as Emmett took a seat by the door as she continued her routine. Emmett smiled at Bella warmly and gave a silent nod. She smiled back at him but turned away from us a moment later and looked out the window.

"All right, I just need to ask you two if you can leave. I need to give Edward a bed bath."

"What?" Bella suddenly turned to me and the nurse. "No, I'll do that." She pushed forward and rested her hand along the edge of my mattress, her finger tips gripping the material.

Emmett of course let out a snigger and raised eyebrows in my direction. _Fuck._

"I'm sorry ma'am, but its hospital policy for the staff to do it." The nurse went on her way, never pausing or seeing anything more with Bella's gentle protest.

"No. I'll do it." She argued again. Now even I was looking at her shocked. "I don't care what the policy is, if you don't let me do it, Edward will sign himself out and I'll take him home."

I looked at Emmett not actually knowing what to say or do. He was clearly shocked by the whole thing as well.

The nurse paused and looked at Bella for a moment. "Maybe you should go home, sweetheart. Have a little sleep." She wasn't being condescending, I think that she knew Bella was exhausted.

"No. I'm fine. I'll rest later. Right now I'll bathe Edward so I know he is okay." I wasn't great, but I wasn't dying or anything.

I looked at Bella for a moment, reaching for her hand to understand what was going through her mind. "You don't like people touching you Edward." She sighed and I knew she was right.

I had complained to her about the doctors, the nurses, the medics. I had complained about them all touching me because they had too. And I had hated it. I didn't want Bella to be touching me particularly, but that was a whole other reason.

She was helping me out here from what I hated.

She was right. As soon as I would be left along with the nurse panic would fill me. I'd have yet another stranger touching my scars.

I looked at the nurse. "Either Bella, or I go home." I warned. Emmett laughed and Bella smiled and the nurse just shook her head, giving up.

* * *

Bella went around, placing a towel over me, trying to cover my modesty. "So why are you doing this?" I asked as she hovered around my waist, trying to keep me covered.

She frowned at me "Because I'm trying to be nice to you. Give you something. Don't turn this in to a joke, Edward." She warned as she came up to my side and wrung out the cloth in the hot soapy water in the basin beside my bed.

I nodded and tired to tame my smile. I didn't said a word.

Bella reached for my face and carefully began to stroke it with the cloth in her hand. My god, her hands were bliss. I remembered when she had shaved me, feeling so completely powerless to the girl with the razor in her hand. Now it was the same, but with the safety of a cloth.

I let my eyes close as she gently began to wipe at my eyes, clearing them of sleep.

Her fingers danced along my jaw line and I opened my eyes to her, wondering what she was wanting. It was a silent question. I knew it.

"Do-do you want me to shave your face again?" She asked as she turned away form me, embarrassed by her own question.

The stubble was growing in and I was hiding my scars once again. I quite liked the fact they were being to cover up again, especially with being somewhere public. "No." I told her "I want to keep them a little more hidden in here, if that's okay?" She smiled at me and nodded before she began to wipe at my face once again. I could have had her do this all day. I felt nervous of the touch she gave me. Butterflies. "Maybe... maybe you could do it when I get back home." I toed the idea.

She laughed a little, confused. "But you will manage to shave yourself then," She looked at me and a silent awkward moment passed between us when she realized what I was asking.

"Oh, right. I see." She flushed. She smiled at me and nodded. "Edward, if you want me to do anything for you, all you have to do is ask." She smiled and then blushed at her words. "You know what I mean. If you like me shaving you, of course I'll do it again for you."

The tension fell between us as she began on my neck and worked her way down to my torso. "It's your call, Edward. I can skip around it or I can wash over it." She was talking about my scar.

She knew I didn't like her touching it but she had already stopped someone else from having to do it. Would having Bella wipe a cloth over it be that bad? She had seen it, she was looking at it right now. Did it matter now if she touched it?

"Scrub away," I tried to sound impassive to the moment but as soon as she went near my scar, my gut clenched. She was going to touch me, she was going to touch my scar. Panic filled me and I closed my eyes away from the sight I was looking at.

"That's it. You can open your eyes now." _Already?_ Bella pushed along and motioned the cloth down my sternum and down to my abs. That was painless. Quick. She had been deliberately quick and I smiled at her to thank her for it.

The cloth cooled at it was trailed across my body and as she finished with my front, she helped me sit up so she could clean my back.

She rinsed the cloth in the water again and it was once again warm on my skin. She let me lean against her as she reached around my back, blindly trying to clean me.

Her hands weren't even touching me but the sensation from the cloth was driving me crazy.

Stroking the cloth around the back of my neck I felt life, pulse through me. Blood passed around my body and reached the places where I really didn't need it to go. Blood pumped to my groin and I felt my self stiffen at her touch.

Before I could even try to block it from my mind, I felt the tips of her short nails in the back of my hair, shifting it out the way, so to wash me. My dick hardened instantly.

_Christ almighty_.

Before I knew it, Bella was up and standing, trying to help my lay back again.

The towel that was being use to cover my modesty was doing anything, but.

"I'm fine," I shrugged her hand off of my shoulder as she tired to push me back. I wasn't fine. She had just held me up as she cleaned me. I couldn't hold myself like this right now. I was feeling too weak. That's why I had to have a bed bath in the god damned first place.

I hated life. If it wasn't trying to kill me, it was simply trying to humiliate me.

"Edward," She looked at me confused. I tried to look away because her brown eyes were only making the situation worse.

She bit down hard on her lip, worried. "Did I do something wrong? Are you feeling all right?" _Bite._

_Fuck me and fuck my life._

I tried to argue "I'm fine... I-I..." _I just need to lie down_. God I was getting dizzy. All my blood was going else where and it didn't help that I was ill and in hospital.

I swayed off to the side and she caught me, caught me momentarily off guard and leaned me back down into my pillows.

I tried to move any other way to distract her from what was going on below the towel.

Rinsing the cloth out, she turned back to me, placing her hand on my thigh. Her eye flickered as I tried to shift yet again.

That was when she noticed it. She never said anything at first but a tight lipped smile spread across her lips.

"Christ, Bella. I'm sorry. I-I never... it just happened." I tried to apologise, tried to make myself not sound like the pervert I felt I was.

She shook here head at me with that tight lipped smile still there. She looked rather smug actually.

Continuing on with what she started to do, she pulled the towel to the side so she could clean my legs, The warm cloth sweeping across my skin.

_This wasn't helping._

"Just stop." I yelped at her, feeling totally ashamed. I pulled her hand away from me and curled myself up below my towel. "Just go. I'm clean." I snapped at her and slapped away her her hand as she reached out for me.

She stood back, looking at me. She wasn't shocked or mad or even scared. She had this easy knowing look on her face that calmed me a little. "It's fine, Edward. It's just how your skin reacts to the sensation. If it were the other way around It would have an effect on me too." She promised. "Not quite as visible one as yours though." She sniggered as an after thought.

"But it's just..." I sighed as I tired to argue.

"It's normal," She tried to ease me but It wasn't working.

"It's my reaction though. And I don't have control of it. I shouldn't be showing you that." I felt mortified.

"We'll it's not if I haven't seen it before." She shrugged her shoulders so simply. "So you are a little turned on... would it help if I said I was a little turned on too?" My head snapped to her, looking to see if she was telling the truth.

"Are you?" I asked a little to amazed and desperately.

"Touch me and see." She smiled again, but it was a wary one. She was actually asking me to do this. It wasn't a game this time.

I had tried to stop thinking about her pleading me to touch her. It couldn't happen. Why did she keep goading me like this. Especially when I was already clearly turned on.

"We're in a hospital, Bella." I tired to reason. She only shrugged. "No. And stop asking that. I will not touch you again. Ever." I seethed.

Reaching me, she stroked the cloth along the back outside part of my thigh. I got harder as my mind momentarily let me believe it was Bella's fingers.

My eyes screwed shut before I could feel the cool material of my bed cover being placed up on me.

Opening my eyes, I looked up at Bella as she proceeded to cover me up and clean up the stuff around her. She had withdrawn from this little argument and I was glad.

Actually, the look on her face looked quite sorry. Her eyes never met mine once. She reached for her hooded top and rushed out the room with out a sound.

Where did she go?

A few moments later Emmett came in. He looked at me suspiciously before he began to speak. "Bella said to say she was sorry and that she will be back later. Want to tell me what's going on?

_Fuck._

* * *

By the time lunch time had rolled around, I was alone again.

Emmett had to get back to Port Angeles and back to his work. He promised that he would be back within the next day or two and that he would call Bella to see how I was doing. Bella was now permanently attached to my phone it seemed. She took it with her as she left the hospital after keeping it on her possession all of the time whilst in the hospital.

A porter had been brief as he dropped off my lunch to me and I was alone all over again.

Lifting the cover from my plate I mentally prepared myself for the hospital food. Opening it, it was even worse than I thought. Watery quiche that instantly had my stomach turning. I couldn't eat that. It wasn't that it was particularly bad for me, it was just a plate full of crap. It was disgusting.

The smell of it wafted in the air and I retched. Placing the lid on the cover, I pushed it way from me on my little bedside table.

The door opened and I was met with Bella once again. I felt relief flood through me knowing she was back by my side again.

Her eyes fell to the floor though and I knew she was embarrassed about earlier. But so was I. We both just needed to move on from it.

"It's true what they say about hospital food," I started the conversation so for this not to be too awkward. "It's rubbish. I can't eat that."

She shook her head instantly at my words and a small smile graced her pout. "Edward, stop being so irrational. You need to eat. You are in hospital." She reminded me. "Let go of your iss-" At her own words she lift up the cover and gagged herself. She covered her mouth and a look of disgust crossed her features. "Is that meant to be quiche?" She asked stunned. "You can't eat that. No one should eat that." She ranted.

For once I didn't feel quite irrational as I knew I was. The food was really that bad. "Did they not give you any choice?" She asked as she fingered the watery egg concoction.

"No. Someone came in and dropped it off. That was it." I shrugged.

She sighed and raced to the door. "Don't eat that," She told me strongly as she rested her hand on the door handle. "I'll be back soon with something decent." With that, she left me all alone in my room again.

* * *

I let out a content sight as I scrunched up the wrapping of my freshly made sub. Bella had went from the hospital and looked around town to see what she could find for me to eat and found a great little café with take-away. I was feeling a lot better after having eaten something again.

Her brown eyes only looked up at me from her seat with a smile on her face, clearly happy to see me eat something that I appreciated. And I did.

"So the doctor said that you can get out tomorrow?" She clarified, I nodded. "Is that not a bit too soon?" She asked worried.

"No. I'm just needing to take my antibiotics and take it easy. Nothing to different from here. With the exception of a comfortable bed back home." Looking at her, she was still tired. She said she had slept, but it didn't look like she had any more than thirty minutes sleep.

She leaned forward and crossed her arms in front of her, resting them on the bed and resting her head on her arms. "You should go back home for a real sleep, Bella." I had slept most of the night. I was fine.

She yawned and closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I'm fine. I want to make sure that you are all right."

"I am," I protested. "I want to keep you here where I can see you with my own eyes, but you need to sleep.

"I'll only worry," She argued. "You might ask some hot nurse for a bed bath." She teased with a grin, her eyes still closed.

"Bed." I ordered. She shook her head again. "Bed, Bella." This time she opened her eyes and stood up. Finally I was getting somewhere. Then she reached for my covers, lifting them and crawling below them. I was to stunned to speak.

"There. Now I won't worry and neither will you." With that her eyes closed. I shifted a little to make her more comfortable. She was tiny, there was plenty of space to take her. And she fell asleep. Passed out. Completely unconscious. And so did I.

Waking up a couple of hours later, I jumped to find my nurse looking at us. Her arms were crossed and she was pissed to find Bella in my bed.

"No girlfriends in bed." The nurse barked at me and in the process wakening Bella from her slumber and turning her beetroot all at the same time. But I didn't argue with her because I didn't need our story to get any more confusing for any outsiders.

Bella mumbled an apology and climbed out of my bed, turning her side of the mattress cold.

We knew that the nurse was only in to take my statistics so Bella backed up to her window once more and turned her back on the two of us. The nurse was still a little annoyed and only continued to glare at me. "We have those rules for a reason. I'm sure its hard for you both, but keep the bedroom stuff until you get back to your own home." My mouth fell open at her word. She was more than a little quick with all the assumptions. But still I didn't argue.

Bella briefly turned to us and narrowed her eyes to the nurse making a face at her obvious annoyance at her words. I kept my face straight and in no time the nurse was gone.

"Someone got out of the wrong side of bed," I joked as Bella made her way to my bedside once again and her little hands wrapped around my hand as she took her seat again. I looked at her, all tired and dishevelled from her sleep. "I'm ordering you to go back to the house and sleep for as long as you need to, okay? Please do it for me." I begged.

Her little brown eyes looked back up at me and she knew I was being serious. No bed hoping this time. She needed her own one.

She bit her lip again but nodded, agreeing. "Fine, but I will be back later." I knew she would. That was Bella. I was learning that about her already.

She stood up form her chair and kissed me on my forehead, leaving me once again.

* * *

By lunch time the next again day I was out. Desperate to be back home as well. Of course now that I was back home Bella wouldn't stop fussing over me. She had been in the kitchen all day and I did worry about what she was cooking. But it was smelt divine.

I could definitely smell chocolate in the mix and that also had me worried. I was going to get no exercise done in the next week so any muscle was going to begin to fade.

"Here," She proclaimed loud and proud "You need to try this." Bella sat a tray of things on the coffee table and I was at a loss what to have first. There was different foods. Ones that I would eat. But then there was a load of thing that I wouldn't touch. Was she testing me? Seeing how far I would bend?

Picking up a strange looking fry, she tried to feed me it. I closed my mouth and backed away from it, never letting it even touch my lips. She looked at me then the sort of orange fry and instantly added it all up. "You need calories, Edward." She sight and pushed forward again.

I threw myself back on to the couch and refused it all. "Edward..." She moaned. "Eat... please. Its a sweet potato fry. Not cooked in oil, but honey. It's not that bad for you."

Sweet potato and honey? Was that even going to taste good?

She rested back down with me and pushed the food to my face as if I were some stubborn child. I wasn't a stubborn child. I was just a stubborn adult. That's even worse.

But I relented to her try and opened up. It was hot as it entered my mouth but as I began to chew it down it tasted like heaven. Holly shit, they were good.

She smiled at me, waiting for me to tell her they were good. I smiled at her and pushed forward from my seat swiping a few more from the table. She laughed and took a few into her hand herself as she handed me a much needed napkin and plate.

"I thought this would be good for you. Pick and choose what you want. But you have to have a chocolate cupcake. My birthday cake had been left open and it was solid as a brick when I found it last night." She laughed as she looked up at the television in front of us, her concentration briefly focusing on the guff that was on at the moment.

"How were you last night?" I pushed carefully. She had been all alone and I hated that thought. She stayed back at the hospital as long as she could to save herself from being alone but it was inevitable.

She shrugged as she put another fry in her mouth and chewed and thought all at the same time. When her mouth was empty she spoke. "I was fine. Really you don't need to worry about me."

"So you will be in your own bed tonight. Alone?" I was pushing her, but I needed to see she was really as fine as she was trying to say she was.

She looked at me for a moment before her eyes dropped again. "Of course." her words didn't seem to sound real but I wasn't going to argue with her. If she had any issues when she was in bed, she could come to me. She knew she could.

We both focused on the television, but I don't think that either one of us was paying much attention to it. Instead I made my way through the food in front of me.

With the two of us just sitting there, I couldn't help but have my mind drift off into thought. Bella was here and going through all of this because she was forced too. I knew that if she could have went home, she would have. I did wonder if she was somewhat content with the situation though. The other night I had promised to help her to get somewhere safe but with falling ill, it had all just disappeared.

"Are you happy, Bella?" I asked gently.

She looked at me, confused. "Well... I'm not depressed or anything like that, if that's what you're asking."

I shook my head. "Do you want to leave here? I can get you out of here if you really wanted." I promised.

She shook her head at me. "Edward, like I said, I don't want to leave. We have got use to one another. All it would mean is that I would be somewhere else, alone. And that you would be here, alone." I was going to be alone eventually. I was it not better, sooner rather than later? I didn't want her to go though. Then panic swept her face "Unless you want me gone? I could go if you want me to."

I jumped on that one straight away. "No, Bella. I like having you here. You know I do. I was just double checking. Least here, I know you're safe." I smiled at her.

"Yeah. We can look after one another." She beamed.

Reaching forward, I picked up one of her chocolate cupcakes so not to offend her. She had actually worked hard in the kitchen all day and I didn't want to seem ungrateful. She really was looking after me.

Stripping the paper cup back, I bit into the sweet moist sponge and effectively getting chocolate icing all over my face at the same time. "Mmmm." I let out a little too enthusiastically. They were absolutely delicious.

Her brown orbs looked up at me, some what proud that she could get that sound out from me. "Oh my god, Bella. These are amazing. Better than the birthday cake any day." I licked at my lips trying to lick away all of the icing. Bella only laughed at me and reached out to me, gently sweeping some of the icing from my face with her finger. She quickly sucked the top of her finger removing the trace and causing a stir in my groin once again.

What the hell was she doing to me? She had never meant to be seductive. She was babying me and it was turning me on. Well actually, the finger sucking was the turn on.

Continuing with the cupcake, I tried to hid my arousal. Shifting in my seat, I pretended it wasn't there.

Bella leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder. This didn't help with anything at all.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself as she watched the television, completely oblivious to what was going on.

"You know, I think that all this nonsense should be banned from television. It's just not right." She mumbled to me about some paternity test that was being screened. She picked up the remote-control and began to pace the channels. She grew more comfortable as she picked up another sweet potato fry and made her way down my side, resting her head on my thigh.

_Oh holy hell. _

No this wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. I shifted again, trying to make it apparent that I didn't want her leaning on me. Instead, I only lead her on to worry about me. Sitting up, she placed her hand on where her head had been and looked me in the eye "Are you okay? Are you feeling all right?" She checked with furrowed brows.

"Fine," I mumbled. "Just a little warm." _Now please back the hell away before you kill me._

In the past few days I had seen our comfort levels crash. We shared a bed, we had dry humped on her bedroom floor. We even had sex. We only seemed to grow closer and more comfortable with one another's touch and it was beginning to push me to my limit.

I had followed her around for weeks, watching her. I wanted to know everything about her and have her. But she was a little more messed up than I though and I simply couldn't do that to her father.

The past few days had been mental. The shower. Her need for attention, or whatever it was.

She had calmed since then, though. I think had she grew afraid of what I was expecting from her. I expected nothing from her, of course. I was keeping her safe. _And I was still telling myself that everyday._

There was some glint to her eye though as she looked at me. Something curious. And before I knew it, she was kissing me.

_Not again._

I pulled away from her a little hesitantly. It was a sweet kiss. Not the desperate ones that she had gave me a few nights previous.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she covered her face, her cheeks turning scarlet.

I wanted another kiss though. And something in me just went. I pushed forward and kissed her like she had kissed me.

I pulled her hands away from her face and pressed my lips on to hers.

She continued the kiss for a few moments before pulling back and looking at me, perplexed. I had pushed for something to happen, for it to mean something and I was beginning to see that it really was. That there was something going on, yet it was still left unsaid.

The way she took care of me, the way she tried to adapt to my surroundings so not to make things any more difficult.

Her eyes shone up at me and her mouth hung open a little. She was definitely surprised by my action.

I wasn't acting on my hormones. I knew I wasn't. I wasn't pushing for anything more than the small chaste kiss we had shared.

"That... was..." Confusion swept over her features as her eyes fell to her lap. "That was you." her voice croaked out as her eyes met mine once again.

"I'm sorry," I jumped to try and apologise. The expression on her face was confusing me and I was sure that I had hurt or offended her. "I-I just... I just wanted too." I admitted a little shyly.

She nodded a little hesitantly before pushing forward and kissing me again. This time there was more to it. She pulled herself up on my knee as her fingers reached for my hair, her gripping it. But before we could continue any further she was back off my knee and standing in front of me. What had I done now?

"I'm sorry, Isabella." realizing exactly why she had been so quick to jump away. My throbbing hard on that was a little too noticeable through the thin material of my sweats. I felt so damn ashamed in that moment._ I was like a teenage boy._

Before I could protest my innocence any more she was quick to put her hands up and silence me. "Don't worry about it... I get it. It was instinct." She blushed furiously. "I-I should go and study. I haven't done anything for a couple of days." her words disintegrated into thin air, her last words barely audible.

"Bella, wait." I urged as I reached out for her hand, getting up from my spot on the couch. "I wasn't looking for _anything_," I tired to emphasise the anything part so she knew that I wasn't only trying to get her into bed when the urge... rose. "It... was..." I sighed not knowing where to even take these words. It was now that I was really seeing her true innocence. I hadn't noticed it before.

"It's fine, Edward." She reassured with a fake smile. "Just watch some television and eat up." She motioned to the food on the coffee table.

"No, wait. I wanted to kiss you." I sighed again as I struggled to admit the truth. "It meant something." I was putting myself out there for her. Was she just going to leave me hanging.

She was quiet for a moment. She seemed lost in thought. "Edward, it was only a kiss. It didn't mean anything." She shrugged nonchalantly before turning her back on me.

As I watched her leave through the lounge door, I had this strange sensation run through me. I think this was how it felt when your heart really did break. Her words left me feeling gutted.

* * *

Lying in bed I felt alienated once again. This time I really did have nobody though. Last night when I had slept, I had missed Bella. I had missed her more than I would care to admit.

I knew I tested her on how she had slept, all alone in this house. But when I was asking her, there was some deep part in me desperate to know that she needed to share a bed with me. That she needed me.

Then she said she had slept soundly. And now, once again, for the second night in a row, I wasn't going to get much sleep because I needed her in with me. She calmed me and her energy just made my world feel right for a little while. Even if it were only in the dark.

Fisting my pillow, I wanted to scream. Why did it all have to work out like this? Why did I get blown such a shit hand in life? Okay, I know I had a pretty easy life, lots of money in the bank to see me through. But it all meant nothing. I was a walking cosmological argument. I had caused my own downfall and I had no one to blame but myself, and perhaps my father. I suppose he could be considered the first cause. I'm sure that he would like to think of himself as omnipotent. Master, creator. _Fucking, God._

I shook the thought out of my head and tried to relax.

Of course she was never going to want anything to do with me. I was thirty, scarred to hell and currently living with a deadly infection. Attractive. Just what she wants.

I would never be able to forget about how she took care of me in hospital. The way she let me rest on her, the way she held my hand when all I could feel was fear. The gentle strokes across my cheek.

_I didn't mean a thing to her. _

But she was beginning to mean the world to me. The thought made me tearful. The past days had been stressful as hell and all I wanted back was that night when we both got drunk and gave everything up. Bella more so than me.

I didn't want to go to her. I mean, I did want to go to her, but I didn't want to seem weak and show my true colours to her. I had done that to a deafening silence already today.

I couldn't go to her.

Besides it was almost two in the morning. Time for my alarm to go off and take my medication to fight off this infection.

Turning on the lamp, I Reached for my alarm, I changed it to go off in another four hours for my next dose. Reaching for my pills, I fought off the ridiculous child safety – child safety, Adult stupidity more like – and scattered two of the pills into my palm. Placing them in my mouth I was quick to chase them down with the water, the antibiotics dissolving a little too quickly on my tongue.

My door crept open and looking up I was met with Bella standing at the entrance with a small nervous smile on her face .

Her eyes fell to the ends of here hair, where her fingers curled it around it. She was nervous. Her eyes slowly met mine once again. "I-I was just checking that you were okay. I was going to make some tea. I heard you with your pill bottle." She explained as her eyes once again fell to the ends of her hair. Was her split ends really that interesting? Not that it looked like she actually had any. "I couldn't sleep." She shrugged with a small shy smile playing on her lips.

"Do you want to come in?" I offered as I patted the bed. She was hesitant. And I was pretty sure the tea excuse was a lie.

She shook her head. "No. I should let you get your rest. Night Edward." And with that she was gone again. My bedroom door closing.

I was curious to know if she really was going down stairs. Perhaps I should keep her company. Check that she is all right. After all, it must have been a difficult couple of days on her too.

Making my way to my door, I opened it up, managing not to make a sound in the process. There was a faint click of her bedroom door telling me that she had went back to bed after all.

Why did she come in here in the first place if she wasn't going down stairs? Did she change her mind?

I closed my bedroom door and leaned back against the cold wood and closed my eyes. Why had she kissed me earlier? She said that it had meant nothing. So why do it in the first place?

Was it a silent challenge to get me to touch her?

Shit. All that was happening to me right now was that I was growing more and more confused.

When she had explained about her being attacked, I could understand her. For anyone to feel that they had lost their control to anyone is scary. Never mind it being some drunk brute Neanderthal that would only have been trying his luck.

Being backed into a corner never did anyone any good. It was fight or flight. And in the case of Bella, it was flight. So much so, that now she seemed to want no other human connection.

Except when it came to me.

But I couldn't just have her like that drunk Neanderthal had tried. I could, it just wasn't moral. The only reason she was trusting me was because I had helped her. She was being disillusioned by the whole situation into thinking that she could trust me.

She was putting her trust into the wrong person. As much as I wanted her and hated to admit it, it were true.

She would have never have put any trust into me if she had met me three months prior. Why should that change? I knew I wasn't the same person I was back then, but I also knew that no human being could change themselves that much. To warrant love off of Bella. Especially as she was actually blind to the real me.

All I would be doing would be abusing her and her fathers trust. She was too good for me.

I knew that my thought would have been the exact opposite a few months back, but now I was beginning to see the world without my rose tinted glasses on. I was seeing the world in its true light, and I was seeing that Bella was far beyond anything that I deserved.

I wanted to go to her though. Not for my own need, but for hers. To check that she was okay, that she was coping still. She had been all alone last night and I hated that she truly had no one. I was lacking to say the least, but if I was able to ease her, I would.

With a deep breath, I turned to face my door and once again, opened it. Without doubt or hesitation, my feet crossed the carpet from my door to hers and I opened it instantly.

Her bedside lamp lit up her room and her glazed brown eyes looked up at me, astonished. She was crying. God I hated to see her cry. It only ever made my gut clench and not being to do anything for her, to take her back to her real world where she would have felt less out of place.

"Why are you crying?" I asked gently as I made my way to her. She shook her head at my words, as if to argue.

"I have something in my eye." She told me flatly as she rubbed at both of them.

I let out a light laugh. "Yeah," I agreed. "Tears. But I don't know why."

She huffed into her palms as she tired to hide her face. "You're going to think that all I ever do is cry. I'm sorry to be such a whinny little girl." Her words were more than mumbled but I could understand her enough.

"I don't." I argued. "It's tough. You must be missing your real life, your dad... Jake." My gut clenched on the last name. I felt like I knew everything about him from seeing him with her. She was safe from him, he kept her protected too. That thought grated on my nerve. I knew that they were only close friends, though.

She nodded "I do. I really do. But you know that normal feeling, the feeling of day to day? Living here, being with you. That's beginning to feel like the norm. What's going to happen when I have to go back home?" Wait, didn't she want to go back home?

"What do you mean?" I asked a little confused.

She wiped away a tear as she looked at me "I miss my dad. I wish I knew that he was all right. I wish I knew that he was eating okay. But what about you? What will happened when I leave? I'll worry about you, I'll wonder if your eating properly. I'll worry that you're all alone, stuck here." At her words, my heart shattered into a million pieces. "Who will force you to the hospital if you're sick? What would have happened if you died? What would have happened if I didn't know you? What would have happened if you weren't there that night?" her words were erratic. She was struggling to breathe with her own panic.

Climbing across her bed, I pulled her into me, holding her in close. "Shhh," I tired to ease her. "That's a lot of what ifs, Bella. You can't worry about it all like that. We're both here, we're both fine. What happens, happens and when you get back to normal, back home, you will forget all about me and I'll be fine anyway."

She looked up and me and let out a cry shaking her head. "No you won't. You're a man, you're like my dad. Too proud. Too proud to ask anyone for help. You need to be forced. No one will be here to force you and you'll slip further away from your family again and you'll be alone. You'll let it happen. And I'll miss you and I'll worry because I will know what you're like." I had to say, as much as I hated the light she painted me in, it was pretty accurate with how I was feeling these days. But I couldn't have her thinking of me like that.

"I have Jasper and Emmett. And for my sins I have Rosalie and Alice to kick me up the ass when needed. I will be fine. You don't have to worry. Just forget all about me."

"But I don't want too." She practically roared at me. "I don't want to leave you. I do want to go home, but I don't want to leave here either." She sniffed into the back of her wrist. "I-I... I don't want to leave you." She admitted as if it were some shame, hiding behind her palms once again.

It was time for me to admit the truth, some truth at least. "I don't want you to leave either. I like having you here. But this, right now, it isn't real. We should enjoy it for what it is and when the time comes, that's it." I told her with some regret. I really didn't want this to be over either.

Looking up at me with misty eyes, she nodded, agreeing. "What if my dad called me up tomorrow telling me it was safe?" I could see the look in her eye, wanting me to hate it. And I did. But I didn't want her to feel bad.

"Well that's good. You will be safe," That was the whole reason she was here in the first place after all. "And you can get back to how it was really meant to be. School, your job... You're life will be better if it's not here." I felt like I was piercing a dagger in my own chest at the moment.

She nodded, thinking. "But what about you? I don't want to leave you." her voice rose.

"You do what you gotta do, Bella. Don't worry about me. I'm thirty years old. I can look after myself." Could I? "Do what you want to do when you're able too." She was so concerned about her schooling, it was important for her to see she still had the world at her feet.

She smiled softly at me, her hazel eyes killing me.

Before I knew it, she was pushing forward, kissings me. Her lips landed on mine and her hands went into my hair. I couldn't do anything to stop it. I didn't want to stop it.

Some how I managed too though. It didn't mean anything to her. She was simply passing time. Breaking away from her, I gasped at needing her again. "No, we can't. We can't do that."

She pulled further away, looking deep in to my eyes. I felt like I was going to deflate with the sharp glare that she gave to me. "No, Edward. We can. You just said I was to do what I could, when I was able. I'm here, I'm able." She huffed.

"It's not what your want though." I pressed.

"Yes it is. I want it, Edward." She was practically shouting now. "It's exactly what I want. For the first time ever, its means something to me as well." I was floored. Did she really mean it or was she just trying to push me further?

In that moment, I didn't care to question her. I honed in on her, capturing her lips on mine. My lips were pillowed in her heavy bottom lip and it felt fantastic.

Momentarily, she was stunned. It took her a second or two to join in, for her to follow me. But once she did... My hand reached up to her face, capturing her cheek and soldering our lips together. Leaning back into the pillow, she followed me, never once breaking our connection.

Her hands rose to my hair as she began to fist it. Her grip tight, she seemed as needy as me for this contact.

Maybe that's all we were. Needy.

Her right hand slid down towards my left shoulder and she held on tight. Her grip slid along with the material and soon enough all she was grasping was material.

Her hand pulled at the t-shirt, pulling me forward and tugging at the shoulder. Was she trying to take it off of me?

Begrudgingly, I broke our kiss. "Are you trying to take this off?" I asked a little amazed. Did she want it off? I hoped to god that she did. Though, not that it would be happening.

"Yes," She gasped as she tugged at it once more.

"No, no. No." I told her as I pulled her hand away from my shirt. "No, Bella. _That_, isn't _this_."

Her bottom lip trembled as she looked back at me hurt. You would have thought I had just insulted her. "You don't want me?" She shook her head as if she were answering her own question. She wasn't. She was getting this all wrong. "I thought-I'm sorry. Of course you don't,"

I had to stop her. I had to get that negative thought out of her head, "Will you wait. I'm only just back out of hospital. I have an infection in my heart and in my lungs. I need rest. This isn't about you. This is about me. And I'm not ready. I'm not fit for that." It was the truth. I couldn't just go jumping into bed. I was tired and exhausted and the only reason I wasn't sleeping already, was because I had been thinking about Bella. Now that she was back in my arms, I felt like I could rest easy. She was upset, but she was fine.

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Lying in bed I was in the land of the in between dreaming and wakening up. Pulling into Edward, I felt his arm wrap around me, bringing us front to front.

Suddenly there was a loud bang from the foot of the bed. Both of us propelled forward and sat up, shocked at the fact there was someone in the room with us. There wasn't supposed to be a soul in the house.

Without thinking, I quickly hid back below the bed covers, stunned. I knew her. I knew the woman at to foot of my bed.

"Edward, if this is your teenage rebellion, your are ten years too late. Put the trash out and I'll see you down stairs. Whatever is going on here, it's over." She told him more than a little pointedly.

Was that Tanya? I was confused by it all.

I knew her. But how did I know her?

I could hear the gentle shift of her shoes on the carpet and the slam of the door as she left. Edward let out a mumbled "fuck" before collapsing back on to his pillows.

_Who was she? _

_Was I the trash? _

_Was I to leave?_

_Where would I go now? _

_What about Edward?_

Panic surged through me as I fought back out from below the covers. He only shrugged and sighed "Time for me to face the music."

* * *

_**Reviews are bette than giving Edward a bed bath**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/n: Kay, I'm so sorry I havent replied to a single review yet! I lvoe replying to them too but I've just had no time. I'm lucky to get this up! Please forgive me and give me some love anyways. Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

_BPOV_

"What do you mean, face the music?" I asked more than a little worried. _I thought he was single._ I thought him and his girlfriend were over. Sitting up I could feel the tears begin to form in my eyes. "Who is she? Is that Tanya? I know her." I shouted a little too loud.

He grabbed my hand and held it up against his chest. On his heart. I looked for a moment seeing where he had put it, but I don't think that he even realized what he had done. "No, Bella. Christ no. That's not Tanya." He sighed "That's my mother." He swallowed.

Suddenly my head was darting all around the room, my eyes never quite focusing on anything in particular. It didn't matter though. This wasn't my room, this was Edward's mothers room and I was in her bed with her son. _Shit._

"I know her," And at my words the sudden realization of who she was came to the forefront of my mind. _Why didn't it click Instantly_? "Professor Masen." I gasped. She was one of my old lecturer's. I had studded with her a few semesters back. _Crap._

Edward let out a groan and closed his eyes. "I never even thought of asking if you knew her. Of course you would have came across her at some point." he muttered more to himself. His hand reached out to my face and he clasped my cheek, running the pad of his thumb across my cheek bone. It soothed me a little. It was nice. "Listen to me, she can cut like glass, but ignore her if she says anything out of turn. We have done nothing wrong." I rose my brows to him "We haven't. She doesn't know why you're here, or probably even realized who you are. She'll probably hate you just because she is suspicious of everyone, but give her time, okay?" He promised. I nodded feeling that knot in my gut grow.

He slipped out of bed and pulled on my hand, taking me with him.

I didn't know what this was. What we were supposed to act like around the other. I was confused and now I was being railroaded into a mother-son confrontation. I couldn't hide from her though. It was her house.

Getting out of bed, I followed him from the room without even stopping to let me pick up my bathrobe to cover myself.

Making our way to his room, he wrapped one of his hooded tops around me and passed me a pair of his sweats that was far too big for me.

What was he doing? I liked the idea of wearing his clothes, I did. But in front of his mother? Before we ever knew what was going on between us?

I held the clothes in my hand for a moment and he stopped as he dressed himself. "What's wrong? You don't like my clothes?" His smile was wary yet playful.

"Why am I to wear these? I have a bathrobe that you bought me." I looked at him a little confused.

He closed his eyes and sighed "If you don't want to wear them, that's fine. Go and get your bathrobe if you'd prefer." his tone was a little sharp. I didn't like it. I had asked an innocent question.

"I-I don't mind... I was only wondering. I thought you would have preferred the bathrobe so it didn't look like we were screwing." I was just as sharp back and you could see him flinch from my tone.

"We're not screwing though, are we?" he was a little more forceful this time.

"It's not my fault that she's here. Don't take it out on me." I yapped back and hated myself when I saw the look on his face.

"I know that. She's here 'cause Emmett no doubt called her. She thinks your trash, Bella. She thinks that you don't mean anything to me..." His lips rolled in, as if he had said too much. My heart missed a beat at his accidental revelation. "I just want her to know that you are a bit more than the set up you had came from, okay. Trust me." his tone turned sweet and almost heartbreakingly eerie. I nodded and he reached forward, kissing me on the forehead.

Without another question, I got dressed and Edward took my hand as he led me to the kitchen, to where his mother was.

Walking into the bright kitchen, the day was beginning to rise. It must have still been early with the sun still sitting low in the distance.

Edward's mother turned from the coffee pot to us and her hand instantly pulled up to her mouth, like mine had when I saw Edward scars on his chest. Her eyes dilated as she gasped to take in a breath of air. All the time Edward never said a word. He only looked at her blankly, as if expecting this reaction.

A moment later, she rushed to him and wrapped her arms around him, embracing him. He responded, but only just. He was cold and held himself back from her a little.

"My baby," She cried into his neck. "What happened? Who did this?" She pulled back from his neck and looked in to his green eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek. I wanted to leave the room. I wasn't part of this.

Her thumb reached his face and he pulled back from her touch like a wounded kitten. She got a fright herself, her body turning rigid at his reaction. She took a step back as well as she examined his face a little more. His face was still covered in his stubble though, making the scars dissipate a little.

Finally, her eyes landed on me, narrowing. She was questioning me? She didn't trust me. I knew it. She thought I had something to do with his face, I was sure of it.

Edward's hand came back for mine and clutched at it making me feel a little braver in her presences. "Mom, this is Bella. Bella, this is my mom, Esme."

Esme Mason. How could I not remember that? I had crushed out on her in _Italian_ _Renaissance_. This woman was an English genius who could make Dante look like a fool. She would no doubt mock me for my online program. Perhaps not to my face though. She had always been nice. Very nice actually. I struggled to ever think of her as having Edward as a son. Emmett perhaps, but not Edward.

I hated that I thought so negative about Edward. I knew it was only part true. He was her son, in some small odd way, I could see it. I just struggled. I think it was because he liked to be so solid all of the time. As if he were made of stone.

"Hi," I gave out meekly as I looked to my bare toes. I was feeling superbly stupid standing next to this pair.

Esme never introduced herself, instead all she asked if we wanted a coffee.

Reaching the breakfast bar, she poured out three cups as we took our seats. I nervously fidgeted, not quite knowing what to say or do. I didn't want to just tell her that she was the reason that I stayed with my degree and graduated. That would look like I was kissing her ass.

No, I wasn't going to tell her that. Edward had some issues with her and I didn't want it to seem like I was taking any sides. I was staying neutral. I was Switzerland.

Sitting there awkwardly, a wall of silence surrounded us. I looked deep into the black of my coffee as if it were hypnotizing me. I didn't want to look up.

Esme cleared her throat and my head snapped up in her direction. Edward turned to me and offered a small smile as he squeezed my hand, reassuring me, silently reminding me of his words from the bed room. _I was to ignore her._

It was Edward who was the first to speak. "Why are you here?" He asked a little curtly. His eyes were tired and I knew that he wasn't ready for this battle. Not when he was still unwell.

"My other son called me to tell me his brother had appeared. Apparently you showed face last week. Emmett only decided to tell me though when you were in hospital." She didn't look as mad or as evil and I had imagined. I half expected her to own her own broomstick with the small things Edward had said about her. I had never thought of her like that in the past and I still wasn't seeing it. Family tension, yeah. Detrimental psychological damage, not quite.

"So... you came to see me?" He asked a little nonchalantly.

"Yes, I came to see you." She nipped. "I heard you had endocar-whatever it is, and I knew it wasn't good. I came to see that you were okay. You're my boy." She exclaimed

"When it suits you," Edward nipped back. He must have felt seriously hard done by going on his tone alone.

"I made my choice. I maybe never mad the best one, but I never made the wrong one, either. I couldn't live like that anymore." She reached for his hand that rested on his coffee mug but he pulled away from her before she could get a chance.

"You never gave me a chance, leaving me with him. I'm as bad as him. Maybe even worse."

"What's happened, Edward? I'm not understanding any of this. Last time I saw you, you were practically married to that bitch and you ignored every word I said." She ran her fingers through her long caramel hair, trying to release the stress and confusion. "Your face, this girl, the-"

"Bella." he snapped "Her name is Bella. Learn it and stop looking at her like that." His fingers gripped tight on to mine and I was sure he was going to pull my hand off.

"Bella, okay. I'm sorry." She stuttered on her own words, panicking. "What happened? Where is your father?"

"He doesn't know where I am. He...he left me all alone in a hospital bed after I was attacked like I was shit on his shoe." For the first time, I saw Edward weak. _I mean weak._ He was gutting himself open here. His heart was breaking and it was pouring from his eyes. My own eyes began to fill up with tears. I pulled his hands to my mouth and kissed the back of his hand and held his hand tight so he knew that I was here. Whatever this was, I was part of it. I couldn't just leave Edward.

Esme's eyes glanced at me with curiosity. She seemed almost confused as if she had never saw any affection before. "So, Bella. How do you know Edward?" Her tone was friendly and she was also trying to tread very carefully.

Edward rested his arm on the island and let his head fall into its cradle as he let out a sigh. No doubt about the prospects of having to try and explain this one.

I swallowed hard. "Ac-actually... he saved me. Some one tried to kidnap me." I rose my brows in disbelief of knowing exactly how crazy this sounded.

"You're kidding, right?" She asked gob smacked as she looked from Edward to me. I shook my head as Edward sat back up straight once again.

"No, she's not. I'm keeping her safe. That's why I brought her here." He told her so simply. He was turning to stone again now that the topic was off of him.

"And so what... You just kept her? Like a pet?" Esme was looking totally bewildered by the whole scenario. I couldn't say that I blamed her.

"No. not like a god damn pet, mom. Christ." he sighed.

"So is this when your face..." she trailed off not quite finishing off her sentence.

"No. The face was the reason I saved her in the first place."

Esme's brow crumpled in confusion "What? Edward I don't get this. Explain it." She snapped.

"I was attacked and a police officer saved my life. He's Bella's father. After Carlisle walked away from me in the hospital I had no one. Tanya left me too." He explained, the tension setting in his shoulders once again.

"This is what happens when you base your life around people like them. I told you." She nipped.

"I know. All right, I get it now. I was wrong. You were right. I got screwed over and now I'm here." He fisted his hair with his hand and I reached for it, releasing it. Esme sat there wide eyed as I tried to calm him. "Charlie... Bella's father, he always worried about her. And so at night when he was working late and she was getting the bus home, I followed her – just to make sure she got there in one piece. One night, this guy started talking to her and that was it..." his words trailed into the air.

Esme looked at both of us "So your father knows you are here?" She asked me trying to clarify.

Edward answered though "He knows she's safe and he knows she's not in the city any more. We have one another's cell numbers until this _thing_ is sorted out... There might have been a possibility that they were planning to pitch Bella for a ransom. The guys that grabbed her are connected to some drug dealer who had a raid on him recently." He shrugged.

God this was my life. When did it get so messed up?

"Are you safe? Does anyone know that you're here?" She asked calmly but with anxiety still lacing her words.

"Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose and Riley, my driver." he shrugged.

"And how are you?" She asked as I looked down at me and Edward's hands.

He never answered her. "Bella, How are you?" she asked. _Wait? Me? _My head jumped up in confusion.

"Me?" I squeaked.

She smiled and nodded. "It must be hard for you to find your self here... alone with Edward." Her eyes flickered to her son and I knew she was curious about our contact.

"He's great. Really. I-I can't thank him enough." I swallowed deeply, my emotions catching in the back of my throat.

"And you two are now... a couple?" She peered over the coffee cup in her hand and down over the other side of the island at our joined hands.

I stayed silent and so did Edward.

She laughed lightly and shook her head, "I'm sorry. It is what it is. I understand that. Just be careful... both of you."

"I'm on the pill." I protested a little too loudly and a little too quickly. My cheeks turned scarlet at my admission.

Edward's head turned to me, his expression shocked "Since when?" He all but roared.

Esme put her hands up, stopping us "No. I do not need to be witness to this conversation. I was meaning with your hearts. Be careful with one another's hearts. It's clearly been a little tense for the two of you."

Edward nodded. "It was Bella who saved my life. She made me go to the hospital."

Esme beamed at me. "Thank you." Her words caught in her mouth. I could see that motherly glow in her eyes. The one I saw in my own mothers before she passed.

* * *

Tugging at the bedding, I pulled away the covers from the duvet. I needed to get myself out of here, out of Esme's room.

A small knock alerted me to her presence as I tried to move as swiftly as possible to quench my guilt of being caught in bed with Edward. I felt some shame in it some how. I didn't know why.

"Bella," Esme smiled as she entered the room, closing he door behind her. I swallowed hard at being trapped alone in the room with her. She had been nice to me, but I still panicked a little.

I smiled at her, letting her speak. She had sought me out after all.

"Bella Sawn. Right?" Her eyes narrowed on me as she looked me up and down. I was still wearing Edwards clothes and had yet to shower. Her on the other hand, she was looking impossibly perfect.

"Yes." I croaked out letting my eyes drop to the floor.

"I knew that it was you. Do you remember me?" She asked as she took a seat on her vanity stool. I nodded feeling a little ashamed. Imagine being caught in bed with an old teacher's son. "Are you all right here? With Edward I mean?"

Dropping the covers, I took a seat on the edge of the bare mattress. "I'm fine. It's just a little strange. I suppose we're still getting use to the situation." I shrugged.

"Edward? Has he been treating you all right? The two of you are involved." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"He sleeps in beside me. I get scared sometimes," I admit, feeling ashamed. "He has been really good to me. I only hope that I haven't been too much of a burden on him." All I had done was live off of this man. I hated it.

"Bella, it's not my place, but I think I need to say something. You are young, impressionable and living alone in the middle of nowhere with a man you don't know. I don't want you to feel forced into anything. Not by him or anybody else. I love my son... but he's too much like his father. I can't see this going anywhere else except with you getting your heart broken." What was she saying here? Was I to stay away from him? "You are too good for him, Bella. You have a lot of promise. A lot. You were the top student in my class. The top student in my class for the past six years. I know your grades for everything else. You graduated with honours. Don't waist your time on him." I wanted to shout at her for ever saying that. For ever putting someone else above her son.

"Edward is right, you are a cow." I snapped and Instantly hated myself for saying it. What the hell was I thinking?

She only laughed though. Not a menacing laugh, but a laugh of understanding. "I'm not quite the picture painted-"

"And neither is he." I yelled at her. "I know he's snappy and he can get moody, but that is Edward. And I didn't mean to say that to you. All I'm saying is that you haven't been here. That is not your fault, I know. But he's nice to me." I shrugged. I didn't need to tell her that I begged him to touch me because he was the only one that could. I didn't need to tell her that he had been the one that had his hands full, dealing with me.

"Your son is kind to me. Too kind. I honestly don't know what will, or is happening between us, but I know that he saved me and is keeping me safe. I also know that my dad is allowing this, so he must see something in Edward too. Something that his parents never." She flinched at my words. "And I understand that this is your house and if you want me to leave, then I will." I promised.

"No, Bella. You are getting this all wrong." Standing up, she reached the bed and sat down with me. "You have this life. This passion. You are young and full of romantic ideas from the books your read. I know. I was that girl too once upon a time. You are perfect the way you are. Don't change."

"I don't plan on doing so." I exclaimed. "Edward is not your ex-husband. I have no idea of Edwards past and that's okay. He was a different person then. I know he was. He's a different person from the man I met three weeks ago. That's allowed. He shouldn't have to have his past follow him around, and as his mother, you should be helping the process instead of hindering it." The anger boiled in me at the audacity of this woman. Edward was not his father. I didn't know who his father was and I didn't care. All I knew was that he wasn't well liked.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You are right. Please try to remember though, my son pushed me away. I don't know who he is. All I know is that he was a lot like his father, and his father never changed." her eyes dropped to her hands. A big beautiful diamond sat on her finger. It was huge. I never said a word though. I let her have her thought.

"I've missed him. He is my baby and he just grew up to be exactly the opposite of what I wanted him to be like. When his father and I separated, he wouldn't come with me. I know I should have fought to keep custody, but I gave him what he wanted and I did the worst thing possible. I turned my back on him." She sniffed at her own words and as she brought her head back to meet my eyes, I could see the tears waiting to pool over. "Seeing those scars on his face... I thought I had died. How someone could do that to him?" She mumbled to herself.

"I got a shock too. Especially when I saw his chest." I swallowed thickly, thinking about it.

"Chest?" She turned to me looking confused. She didn't know about his chest? About being stabbed in the heart?

"He-he was stabbed." My words were a whispered panic, realizing I had said too much. I thought she had spoke to Edward properly. Why hadn't he told her? How did she think he had his infection?

"In the chest?" She asked stunned, her eyes wide like saucers.

I nodded as she rushed to her feet and to the door. "Edward," She called as she rushed out the door.

_Hell._

I had truly put my foot in it now.

Following her out the room, we both stopped short, seeing Edward dart from his bedroom in panic. He looked worried too. No doubt at the sound of Esme's voice.

"What?" He panicked with his gun in his hand.

What the hell was he doing with that thing? Esme's eyes bulged at the sight of it. "Why do you have that?" She asked after a moment. He waved her off. "Why?" She demanded with a shout. Both of us jumped a little at the sound of her voice.

"To protect myself - and I can protect, Bella as well." Esme's eyes landed on me as if I had insulted her.

"No. Do not give me that look. I hate guns too. I don't want him to have it, but he had it before he met me." I was not taking the blame for anything.

I knew that Edward, despite his age, was a little naive to the world. He thought he was invincible. He was learning that it wasn't the case and taking action to restore his faith. Me, being the daughter of a police officer, I knew exactly how the real world worked. I knew I took stupid chances at times, but I understood the implications. I was a lot more street smart than Edward. But he would never admit to that.

"I-I should have had it on me. Last night... I forgot about it. You could have been anyone." he gritted his teeth to his mother.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Edward. This is wrong. Let me see your chest." She demanded. "That's why you have this thing, right?"

Edward looked at me and he knew that I had let it loose. I never knew it was such a secret.

With a sigh, carefully, he placed the gun on the floor before pulling off his shirt. He was still stunning. I wanted to reach forward and touch him everywhere. I wanted to have my hand on his heart again, like the way he did this morning, but without the shirt.

Esme burst into tears and reached forward to his chest. Of course, he pulled away and scowled at her. Reaching for her, I put my arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her. To me it seemed normal, almost. To Esme, it was as if his attack had only just happened. She was in shock and no doubt hurt that she never knew anything about it.

"Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you just put everything to the side and have me with you? You knew I would have been there. I am not your father. I would have been there. I could have looked after you." her arms reached forward and she wrapped them around his neck, slipping from my grasp.

Edward looked back at me, expressionless. Was I in trouble? He wrapped his arms around his mother and consoled her. He even kissed at her temple as he pulled her into him. I swallowed hard and looked back down to the gun and looked back up at him. His eyes were still burning into mine and he gave a small smile, reliving me of my worry that he was mad. I smiled back and kept quiet while they had there moment.

* * *

Grabbing the last of my things, I closed the door to Esme's now sparkling clean bedroom and moved along the hall. Stopping out side Edward's room, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to stay with him, but I also didn't know if he wanted to share his space with me.

Shaking my head, I moved along and carried onto the next vacant room, Emmett and Rosalie's. I suppose I would have to be in here. The other two rooms had nothing in them. I looked a the door and looked back to Edwards. I wanted to be in his room. I wanted... I just wanted to be around him. He made all this so much easier.

"What are you doing?" I jumped at the sound of Edward's voice as he came marching up the staircase.

Looking to him, I was met with his frown. I shrugged. "I don't know where to go," I painfully admitted. I was feeling so confused by the whole situation. The way Edward would touch me, the way he wouldn't kiss my lips. Was that what I was looking for? _Of course that was what I was looking for. _I was looking for him, to have me. Like he did the last time.

"My room," he continued to look at me completely bamboozled. "Where else would you be?" He smiled softly at me and I could feel myself melt a little. He pulled forward, lifting most of my belongings from my hands and taking my backpack from my shoulder.

We made our way to his bedroom door in silence before he stopped and turned to face me. "That's-that's if you want to stay in here with me?" He looked at me a little sceptically "I mean, you don't have to. You can stay in Emmett's room if you want. If that would make you more comfortable – to have your own space."

I smiled softly at his words and concerns "I have the whole house to roam if I want my own space. You know I don't sleep well without you." I shrugged feeling like such a kid. I was a grown up, I should have been able to sleep alone.

"I thought you said you were fine when I was in hospital?" He questioned me with those furrowed brows.

Blushing, I admitted the truth "I lied." My eyes briefly flickered to the floor, only to meet Edward's once again. He held a pensive stare, no doubt a little annoyed at my words.

"Don't lie to me again, Bella. We're all we have right now." I nodded knowing how right he actually was.

His features softened and a small smile graced his lips. "Come on," He told me as we crossed the threshold of his bedroom.

Once inside, he closed the door behind him and dropped my things to the floor. I placed the belongings I had onto the bed and turned my back to him.

What was I doing? We were going to be living in one another's pockets. I would drive him insane and he would hate me for it.

_But I didn't want to be anywhere else._

He crept up behind me and wrapped an arm across my torso, pulling me in to his chest "I'm sorry that my mother showed up." he whispered into my ear. "I doubt she'll stay long though. A day hopefully." he laughed lightly.

What about after that, though? Where would I go? Would I go back to her bedroom?

With Edwards arm around me I was feeling confused. After yesterday, all he did was push in closer to me. I liked it... I just didn't know what it meant.

Turning to face him, I smiled. I didn't know what to say in response. Instead, I reached up and let my finger tips rake through his short beard. "I think you should shave this off. Maybe show her what it really looks like so she gets no more surprises."

He frowned at me and his fingers ran thought the stubble as well. "Maybe another time. I just need... I need to talk to her. For real. Have a conversation." he sighed and rested his forehead on mine. It seemed so intimate.

I only nodded at his words. He turned from me, leaving me to unpack and allowing himself to go to his mother.

* * *

Pacing outside the lounge, I didn't know if I should go in. I was limited on the unpacking and I had spent thirty minutes looking at the ceiling trying to kill time. I got bored.

Boredom was the third person in this house – technically, fourth right now – and without Edward or my work distracting me, I was at a loss.

I just knew that I could never focus on my work with Esme here. I felt too on edge, too much like a try hard in comparison to her. In all honesty I wanted to hide my work from her, the English professor.

Knocking on the door, I let myself in. Looking at the two of them, they were worn out. Both sat on the same couch, Edward looking deflated and Esme was close to tears. I had definitely interrupted something. "Sorry, I was only wondering if I could get you anything... Something to eat? It's almost lunch time." I shrugged.

Edward smiled and shook his head softly "No. But why don't you come join us? Emmett and Rosalie are on their way and bringing food." He motioned me to come in, so I did. Sitting down on the couch opposite them, I swallowed hard trying to fathom out the situation. Were they arguing? Were they mad with each other?

"Maybe I should give you both some more time and space." The words came out a blurb, nervous. I wrung my hands together looking between them for their nod to my escape.

Esme laughed a little "It's fine, Bella. You don't need to go anywhere. Actually, Edward was telling me all about you." She smiled from me then to him and my stomach dropped.

"Not much to tell, really." I shrugged as I nervously tucked away a stray piece of hair.

"Modest too," She told Edward almost flatly, almost sarcastically. It wasn't malicious though. "He was telling me about your MA – well told me you were doing one." She shrugged and looked back to me again.

"Yeah, online... it keeps me busy I guess." I spoke vaguely.

"I always knew she was too modest for her own good," She smiled at Edward. "She's smart. Smarter than your ass, anyway." She winked to Edward playfully. Now they were joking about – _about me?_

Least they weren't killing one another.

"You will take good care of her, Edward. I feel like I'm intruding being here. Clearly you have your own little set up and I don't want to muddle with that." She spoke to the both of us this time. Was she going to leave? I had only just cleared out her bedroom. I washed and Ironed her sheets. Geeze.

Soon enough the ring of the front door had us heading in its direction. Emmett and Rosalie and her killer culinary skills combined changed the whole atmosphere of the house. Quickly, we were all placed at the table, eating, chatting and even laughing away. Edward, Esme and myself had a glass of wine each as we all relaxed and I heard all the stories about Edward from his child hood. Emmett too.

Esme really was a proud mother. The looks of adoration she gave to Edward only pointed out exactly how much she must have missed him.

Edward laughed. He truly laughed. His world seemed so... so normal. As if nothing were out of place.

His smile was gorgeous and infectious.

Lunch lasted all day. Well it felt like it, but also it didn't . It was long and it was fun and I didn't want it to end. I felt comfortable here. I was happy to be here, to be part of this. I missed Charlie, but this was a whole new experience.

Edward passed out my chocolate cup cakes with one of the many rounds of coffee we sipped on in the afternoon. He told them all that they _had_ to try them and told Rosalie she was to get me a job at the bakers where she had bought my cake. Esme laughed and said that I was too smart for that and that I was to focus on getting my Phd.

By eight, Rosalie was growing tired. She was needing to get home for some sleep. Edward insisted that they stayed but they had to decline as Rosalie had left her parents back in Port Angeles for the day. She felt it wasn't right that they should be here in a crucial moment between the family. She told me that in confidence though, so not to upset the others.

Esme agreed that she was going home too. She had planned on staying, but that was when she though her son was holding himself up in the house in self-exile, hiding from the world, ill and dying. Now, now she was comforted in the thought that I was with him and that it was best that she left us two, too it.

With promises of seeing one another soon, we closed the door on our day, the three of them heading to their homes.

Edward let out a contented sigh as he led the way back to the kitchen. "Wine?" he asked, lifting the bottle up. He poured a glass out for me anyhow and I nodded, accepting the drink.

"I'll have a fresh orange," he laughed "I better not drink anymore than my one glass with my antibiotics." I felt guilty at having something he couldn't, but I still enjoyed it anyway. He would be well again soon enough.

He poured his glass of juice as I took a seat at the island and watched him intently. That smile was still playing on his lips. "What is it, Swan?" He looked across at me, his smile only growing wider.

"You're smiling. Like actually, smiling." I nodded, trying not to laugh. "You had a good time with the wicked witch of the west." I laughed at how I imagined her to be.

"That's my mother you are speaking about. Be nice." He warned, teasingly.

"How does it feel? Today, you had fun?" It was a question that I already knew the answer too but I wanted to know if he had any after thoughts on it.

He sipped on his drink before taking a seat and answering me. "It was good. It was nice to be nice." He frowned a little. _No, please don't frown_. I can't bare to see that smile fall from his face. "After years of having things put into your head, it's kinda hard to go against them." he laughed "Even that glass of wine – All I could hear was my father."

"How do you feel about that?" I asked carefully.

"Honestly... Quite happy that I drank it. Even though I really shouldn't have. In fact, especially since I shouldn't have. It was like a big massive "fuck you" to him." his frown disappeared again and his smile shined. He sighed contently resting his chin on his hand. "I really enjoyed today. At first, when I saw my mom, I thought that was it. After last night..." he shrugged and may have even of blushed a little.

"See," I told him, my voice full of hope "Once I'm gone, you will have them." I smiled at him. At my smile, his fell.

I didn't necessarily want to leave, but we both knew at some point that it was going to happen. I had my life, and I really hopped that he would have his. I didn't want him to hide.

I sipped on my wine as I watched him. His green eyes followed his finger as he traced it along the brim of his glass. He was deep in thought and he looked tired.

"Are you tired?" I asked almost in a whisper.

He nodded as he looked back up to me, his green eyes on my brown ones. They held so much depth, so much thought. I wanted to know what he was thinking but I didn't want to ask anymore questions.

"We could go to bed. I know it's early but we had an early rise and you didn't sleep much." I told him. "We should go to bed." I nodded and spoke to myself. I left my glass of wine standing on the island and walked to Edward. Reaching for his hand, he took mine and stood up, following behind me as I led him to his bedroom.

Standing outside his door, I thought. Esme was now gone. She never stayed. Was I to go back to my room? I wanted so badly to crawl into Edwards side though. To rest in comfort.

He opened the door from behind me and gently pushed me in first. "You're still in here," He chuckled as I relaxed and smiled back to him.

Stripping away my jeans, I couldn't be bothered to look out my pyjamas. Instead I climbed in with my tee and my underwear. Edward stripped away his jeans and socks, copying my movements and pulled me flush against his chest.

I felt the warmth of his body seeped on to me as I relaxed and embraced the contact. I let my arm fall around his waist while I pressed my cheek up against his chest.

It was so easy and natural, it was scary. I still couldn't understand how he could hold me like he did and that I was actually comforted by it. I wasn't scared at all. I loved how he just held me. It was so easy. As if it were meant to be.

I was still desperate for him to touch me. I wanted to see how far he could push before I panicked. I had been a little to forceful last night and for it, I was gently put back in my place. Edward was right, this wasn't only just about me, this was about him too. He was already accepting me, letting me in closer. He didn't need to. I knew he was scared to get too close. He was scared that I was going to let him down too. He didn't have to tell me. His back story and situation was enough to tell me that.

His lips reached down to my forehead and I wanted to ask him to kiss my lips. He hadn't – not since last night at least. But again, I never said a word.

Reaching to his long stubble, I let my fingers graze through it, stroking his jaw. It was doing things to me and his smell wasn't extinguishing any of the flames. Reaching up, I pecked my lips against his jaw.

His head pulled back a bit, and for a moment I thought I was in trouble.

He smiled down at me and reaching forward, he kissed me on the lips. I pushed forward, needing it. Without doubt, my hands reached for his hair and I let my fingers thread thought the ends as I tried to pull him closer to me at the same time.

He didn't relent. Actually, he only pushed on further. Before I knew what was happening he had me rolled onto my back and his fingers pressed deep into my hip.

I still wanted more. I couldn't feel fear or panic. All I could feel was need. Desire.

My leg hitched up over his hip and I pulled him in closer, reeling our bodies together.

He grew almost erratic as he let his other hand reach for my side. With his two hands on me, he pulled me in closer to him, our bodies looking for union. I could feel his hard on through his boxers.

I still wanted more. I needed more. I was going to demand more.

I let my other leg hitch over his other side and I crossed my ankles behind him, locking him in my embrace. My hands let go of his hair and I reached for his boxers wanting to feel him.

My shot was screwed and it killed the whole illusion as he pulled back up away from me. His breath was quick and shallow. You could see the rise and fall on his shirted chest. "No," he croaked out a little too weakly before coughing a little.

His cough was almost all cleared up and that was only a little one but I still felt guilty. He wasn't well.

"Sorry," I covered my face with my hands and I wanted to cry for my own stupidity. "I-I-I didn't want you to stop." I shamefully admitted.

I felt him lean down on me, his head resting on my stomach. He was still a little out of puff "Neither did I." He chuckled a little.

Pulling my hands way from my face, I looked down at where he lay. "You didn't?" I asked dumb struck.

Leaning up on his elbows he shook his head. "Why would I want to do that." He asked rhetorically as his fingers trailed along the line of my underwear. "But I know I should." he told me rather mournfully. "I should be-"

"No." I shouted ."No, don't say that." I knew fine what was going to come from his mouth. That he was to take care of me. "It's us. Lets just do what we want to do. No one else counts." I promised.

His eyes dropped to where his finger was still trailing along the material of my panties. I wanted him to touch me. Anyway possible.

"Edward, are you using being ill as an excuse for nothing to happen?" I asked carefully. "I know you can't... you know... but is that the only reason stopping you?"

His mouth twisted as he thought. "I want to," He sighed as he rested his forehead on my stomach once again. "I suppose I see it as some kind of sign, not too." He shrugged as his head lifted back up to me once more.

"But you can do other things..." I quirked an eyebrow.

He quirked his right back. "How do you mean?"

Letting my eyes drop to his fingers that rested on my undies, I took a deep breath, "Touch me."

My eyes turned back to him and he continued to stare at my underwear. He was going to say no. Back away and leave me alone in the room. But I was still glad I said it. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to have me.

Looking back up at me, I waited for the fall out.

But it never came.

His pointing finger trailed along the thin waist band of my underwear and I felt his finger slide below the material at my side. His other hand followed suit but with the other side.

My breathing shallowed as I watched him. I let my eyes momently look back up to his but I let them drop once again so I could watch him.

Butterflies exploded in my stomach and I felt myself wetting with the anticipation.

Slowly he began to pull away the material from me, my pubic hair beginning to show.

I still panicked that he would stop. He couldn't stop now though.

He backed away a little as he pulled down my underwear off of me, revealing me. He pulled them down between us and I felt him slide the material down the length of my legs. I helped kick them off when he reached my feet.

Assuming his position once again he looked up at me again, asking if I was sure. His voice was crooked and I could hear his own arousal in the tone of his voice.

I nodded, telling him yes and gasped out a silent please as I waited there. I could feel the wetness between my legs growing out for control. I was sure I was spilling my need all over his bed sheet.

Sitting up on my elbows, I continued to watch him, I didn't want to miss a moment of it. I wanted to revel in every single detail.

Slowly but surely, his lips landed on me. My legs were still closed and his mouth landed in a soft peck in my pubic hair just below where my waist band had been.

His right hand grasped the top of my thigh and gently tugged my legs a little more open.

Gasping for air, I still couldn't turn away.

A shiver ran up my back as soon as I felt his fingers contact with my centre, I actually jolted away from the contact at first by accident. Edward paused and looked deep in to my eyes. I nodded, telling him to continue.

His finger tip reached down low and bringing it up thought my folds to my clit. A wave of pleasure rippled thought me and I needed more. Repeating his action, he moved slower this time and used my moisture to tease my clit, running his finger around it.

His finger then made its way back down the fold and rimmed my entrance. _Oh god._

I was desperate to push forward, to feel him inside me. This feeling was all new but I couldn't deny it or even be scared from it. All I felt was need and the pleasure he was giving me.

This time when his finger ran up my fold again, there was more pressure and instead of teasing my clit, he pulled his hand away bringing it to his lips and sucked on it.

_Holy hell._

My breath shallowed even more and I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

Removing his finger from his mouth he looked back at me and not at all apologetic for what he had done. Instead a small smirk played on his lips. I wanted him to do that again.

I swallowed hard and began to speak. "Does... does that not taste funny?" I asked knowing I was blushing like a beacon.

He bit his lip, trying to rain control on his smirk. He shook his head. "It... it tastes perfect."

I hated that word, but right now I loved it.

Edward's hands reached for the backs of my thighs and pulled me forward, opening me up to him even more. I gulped, desperate for him.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked. I nodded expecting his lips to come to me, to my face. No... his head disappeared down between my legs.

As soon as he made the long slow trail from the bottom of my fold, to the top with his tongue, he made it all the way back down again. His tongue circled around the inside of my centre and at that, my elbows gave out.

Collapsing onto the bed I felt the most odd sensation travel from my toes up along the backs of my calf's to my ass. I became almost dizzy and I closed my eyes trying to regain my composure.

Feeling his tongue trail back up, he let it circle my clit before sucking on it. His stubble was also running against the inside of my thighs and and the surrounding area of my folds. It tickled slightly and I loved it.

I couldn't help any action my body did now. It wasn't me that was in control. Edward was and he was making my body react in all manners of ways.

My pelvis thrust forward and my hands reached for the back of his head, pushing him further into me. He lapped me up, sucked, twirled his tongue and even nibbled on my folds.

I still needed more. This knot in my stomach was growing out of control.

Edward let out a laugh and fought out of my grip. What was he doing? He couldn't stop.

I wanted to cry. Force him back down.

"Please," I begged.

He looked deep into my eyes as he came back up, briefly turning his head to let out a small cough.

_Fuck._

Of course, he was still ill and I had mostly likely cut his of his oxygen supply.

"There is this feeling..." I tired to speak.

He laughed again, brining his mouth to mine and kissing me deeply.

He broke away and looked in to my eyes. I felt his fingers trail along where his mouth had been only moments ago and I relaxed under his touch once again "Is that the feeling?" he asked looking pretty damn smug.

I nodded. It was all I could do. He had rendered me speechless. At that I let out a moan.

He chuckled a little and if I wasn't enjoying it so much, perhaps I would have felt self conscious, but I never did.

His finger dipped into me and trailed my juice back to my clit, circling it and applying more pressure.

Blood rushed around my head and then I was sure it left me for good.

I lay further back into the mattress, completely disabled with what he was doing to me. But some how I managed to reach for him. I reached for his t-shirt and fisted it as I rocked to the side briefly and then flat on my back.

My legs opened further and Edwards hand looked for more fluid as he dipped into me once again. I loved to feel the change. I loved the sensation of his finger inside of me.

He moved so that he was hovering above me and looked me deep in the eyes once again. His breath was on me and his sent surrounded me. I wanted him in me. I knew I couldn't have it but I still wanted it.

His forehead rested on mine as my shoulders pulled back. The expanding ball inside of me was stretched to capacity and was in danger of exploding. I couldn't take it any more. I felt like I was going to pass out.

I let out another moan and Edward smirked again.

My eyes grew heavy and I closed them. "Open them, Bella. Now." His sharp tone had me opening them and I panicked a little at the thought of doing something wrong and him stopping.

He continued though. He repeated his motions and the pressure grew heavier. I moaned again and felt the muscles in my back constrict. It passed a huge wave of contractions through me all the way to the depths of the inside of my pussy and my stomach.

I bucked forward and Edward pressed on with his motion as he let his other hand grip on to me.

The image of Edward in front of me blurred and my breath caught in my throat as I struggled with all the pleasure that was rippling through me.

I came and I came hard.

It was nothing like I had expected.

My body slowed and I fought away Edwards hand, not in panic, but because I just felt so damn sensitive now. Catching my breath, I was still looking Edward in the eye, his features coming back into focus.

"Good?" He questioned already knowing that answer.

"Does it always feel like that?" I gasped letting my eyes close for a brief second.

"Sometimes... sometimes not as good... Sometimes even better."

My eyes snapped open "Even better?" I gasped. "Any better and you will kill me." I smiled and Edward chuckled.

"Maybe I'll show you a few other tricks if you liked that. Maybe when I'm better." he chuckled lightly. I liked that plan. I nodded closing my eyes again.

* * *

_**Leave a little love if you wanna see a little more lovin between this pair ;)**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/n: omg – I know – I'm back. Bet you thought I was dead or something! I had to study and had been pretty ill and been in the hospital twice and ended up waaay behind. Anyways I hope you'er still with me and this is for all the folk that mailed me and chased me on to continue the story. Told you I would be back ;) But it does mean a lot that you were all so keen. My other stories will be UD'd too! Give me some time. I'm actually moving this week and I'm still studying too. Eek!**_

_**This is a little slow to start, but it speeds up a little. Please don't bail on me now! **_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

**Chapter 13**

**Epov**

I didn't know if I had done right.

Okay, really, I knew I had done wrong. But it felt right... so could it be that wrong?

I had done what she asked of me. More than what she had asked of me.

Letting the water pour down me, I let the thoughts of last night come floating back to my mind.

We had both been sober and I suppose that there should have been no regret. It wasn't that I regretted it. It was that I felt like I was screwing Charlie over – again.

I wasn't going to apologize for what had happened. Especially as Bella had been the one to ask me to touch her. I bet she never realized I'd go down on her.

I was growing hard again.

_Fuck. It was amazing. _

My head struggled to think of anything else other than last night. It may have strayed to another thought once or twice, but all it strayed too was thinking about Bella lying in my bed, sleeping, without any underwear on.

Was this right? What we were getting into? There was something happening between us and I couldn't deny it after yesterday, or the day before.

Were we a couple?

I shook my head, telling myself no. We were not a couple. We were... people, just doing... what we were doing.

Seriously? Was this all my mind could come up with?

Turning off the shower I climbed out and reached for my towel, quickly giving my self a brief pat to dry the moisture and wrapping it around my waist, headed for the door to my bedroom. Opening the door I was met with Bella's ass. Quite literally.

She was bending over, reaching for her underwear that I had threw to the floor last night.

Turning around, she faced me and blushed as she tugged on the hem of her t-shirt down, trying to hide her modesty. I _tried _to hide my amusement.

"Now you're shy?" I joked as I glanced to her hem and then back to her eyes once more. Her face only blushed more as she bit down on her lip. She was cute standing like that. Her messed up bed hair, a t-shirt that was hiding nothing and her sheer embarrassment of the situation.

I walked closer to her and she shuffled on her feet, growing, what seemed to be nervous as I approached her. "Are you feeling better?" She asked seriously. I was in way too good a mood to play serious though. I was up for a game and the game was Bella.

"Trying to get more out of me?" I rose my brow "Last night not enough for you?"

I could feel the flames from her face as she looked down to her feet. Bella was young. She still felt this whole "awkward morning after thing". I didn't. I questioned my judgement on it, but I wasn't embarrassed with what I had done. I loved what I had done. _I wanted to do it again._

She only let out a few noises of discomfort as she kept her eyes trained to the floor.

_Shit._ What if she was regretting it? What if she really didn't want it?

Composing myself, I checked with her.

My hand reached out to her, my finger catching her chin and tilting her face towards me. Her sweet brown eyes shone up to me and something was written across her face. Shame? Hatred? "Are you okay, Bella? After last night?" I questioned her gently.

Her eyes fell on to my chest and I sharply tugged her chin up, telling her to keep her eyes on mine.

She had saw my scar. It didn't mean that I wanted her to keep looking at it though.

She smiled at me "I'm-I'm embarrassed. You kissed me... _down there_." She blushed once again.

"I did." I nodded "But what's the embarrassing part?" I shrugged as I dropped my hand away from her chin.

She brought her two hands up to her face cupping it. Her panties in hand too. She quickly realized her gaff and pulled back down on the hem with a nervous giggle. I laughed too.

Reaching for her hand that was trying to cover her modesty, I tugged on it, pulling her to the edge of the bed and sitting down. She was smiling but I still felt nervous. I had been enjoying what had been going on between us. I didn't want my diving in, to screw everything up. It was only the two of us. I cared for her and I wanted to see where this could go. I didn't expect it to last because as much as I didn't want it to end, I knew it would. I didn't want to think about that right now though.

"Are you okay about last night?" I checked with her again.

She nodded silently biting her lip. She was definitely beyond her sexual comfort level.

"Will you say something?" I asked feeling a knot in my gut.

"Can you do it again?" She spat out and quickly reached for her hand with her mouth and once again, panties in hand.

I laughed and reached for her underwear, taking them from her and dropping them to the floor. "If you want," I was only happy to oblige in that task. "Anything else?" I asked as I let my fingers graze off of her thigh. I was only teasing but I was knocked for six when she pushed forward and kissed me.

Her hands reached for my hair and tugged on it, pulling me closer to her. Christ she was jumping in head first. Her tongue pushed though into my mouth, curling along with mine. It was automatic.

Placing my hand on her arms, I pulled her back and away from me. "Wow. Slow down. Where is the fire?" I smiled at her as she reached for my hand a little nervously.

"Can you touch me. Like you did last night?" She smiled up as if I hadn't spoke.

"Like I said... Where's the fire?" I looked at her curiously. Was she okay? I hadn't messed her about or anything had I? I had tried to be good... gentle.

Letting out a sigh, she relaxed her shoulders a little. "I'm sorry," She spoke a little more calmly this time. "It was fun. I just thought we could..." She shrugged but never finished her sentence. Though I knew exactly the point she was getting at here.

I laughed a little. "Breakfast?" I asked rhetorically. "Perhaps use of the bathroom?" I joked a little more.

Her face dropped and her eyes cast down toward her hands. Her fingers combed with one another and looking down I was met with Bella's legs and the clear visibility of her pubic area. _God help me._

Looking back up at her face, I tucked some of her messed up hair behind her ear. Her eyes made it back to mine and I reached in, kissing her forehead.

"I'm guessing last night was a one night thing?" her voice croaked. "It's okay. It was fun. I've-I've never had that done before." She shrugged dropping her eyes.

No, it wasn't a one night thing. "No, it's not. It's whatever it is. Whatever this is." I motioned between the both of us "I only thought that we could - I don't know... Wake up, first?" I smiled at her.

She laughed a little "Sorry. I didn't mean to try to force you into it." She shook her head as if she couldn't quite believe how she had acted herself. "I was just a little bit excited. It was fun. And I'm not sore today."

That hit me hard across the face. I had hurt her? Last time, I had hurt her?

"I hurt you?" I whispered. I could barley hear my own words, never mind Bella.

"No." She put her hand on my arm "Not like that... I mean it was my first time - It didn't hurt -it was just a little... sensitive?" She questioned, looking for the right word. She shook her head "Anyway, I liked it. I only wanted to see if you wanted to do it again. Maybe try other things like you had said." She looked away shyly.

Right now, Bella seemed very young and it was beginning to scare the hell out of me.

I had been given a cops virginal daughter to keep safe and now I was screwing her and showing her all sorts of things she had never experienced before.

_Yeah. I was going to end up with a bullet in me._

Somehow thought, I could only find myself agreeing. "Can I touch you?"

Bella took in a deep breath as her eyes snapped to mine. She bit down deep on her lip, unsure of what to say or do. She nodded though.

Reaching my hand forward, I let the tip of my finger glide down the centre of her nose. She was looking nervous and last night she had been a lot more relaxed about the situation. In the light of day, she wasn't as brave. But still brave enough to ask for this.

I quite liked that juxtaposition.

It was touching though. I wasn't going to get all x-rated on her.

Gently pushing her pack, she collapsed down onto the mattress she sat on. Her leg hitched up, trying to cover herself up a little. Placing my hand on her thigh, I pushed it back down, showing herself to me.

I grew hard instantly.

I knew I should have masturbated in the shower. The only reason I hadn't was because I didn't want to do it when Bella was in the adjoining room, sleeping.

Looking up at her, her eyes fixed onto mine and she gripped onto the covers looking more than a little nervous.

I wanted to see her chest. I had only fleeting images of what it had looked like. Would she be agreeing to removing her t-shirt as well?

Tugging on it. I silently requested for her to take it off. She never quite caught on though. Pulling it up she lay there looking at me almost confused. "Can I take this off?" I asked carefully.

She flushed crimson but nodded eagerly with a smile on her face, briefly sitting up and practically tearing the thing off her and tossing it to the floor.

Lying back down on the bed, she tired to cover herself up, using her arm to cover her bare chest. Wrapping my fingers around her wrist, I pulled her arm away from her magnificent body. She was way too gorgeous to hide.

"What would you change?" She asked. "Like, if I had came to your practice. What would you think I would need fixed?"

Confusion and a little bit of anger passed through me at her words. She was stunning. There wasn't a thing I would I change about her. Not her shy attitude or anything that made her, her. Especially not how she looked.

"Nothing," I sighed shaking the thought out of my head.

"Not even bigger boobs?" She pushed as she looked down on her naked self. Like I had said, she didn't have a big chest, but her size suited her frame.

"No." I told her whisper as I captured her nipple in my mouth. Her head dropped back and she let out a small moan at the sensation.

"There must be something that you would want to change," She gasped out as her fingers reached for my hair. I really didn't want to have this conversation with Bella at all, never mind whilst I was in this position.

Pulling my lips away from her nipple, I sat up. Looking her in the eye, I put her on the spot. "There must be something you want to change about me?" I snapped. How could she push like she had when I looked like I did. "Something that you don't like looking at?" I bit my words at her once more.

Awkwardly, she sat up and tried to hide herself away from me. "I-I didn't mean anything by it. All I meant - I don't know. It's your job. You know what would make people look better." She swallowed with panic setting in her eyes.

"Anything that you think would make me look better?" I pushed getting into her face. She flinched away from me, ducking her head away from mine.

"Yes," She whispered out nervously. I knew it. That's what it all came down too. Looks. I wasn't shallow. The whole damn world was. She gasped and stuttered "I'd take away your scar." Her hand reaching forward towards my chest. And for some reason I let her fingers land on it. I could see what she was doing. But I didn't stop her, not this time.

Her nervous eyes flickered from the scar on my chest to my eyes as she tried to gauge my reaction. I was a little confused. If she wanted this scar gone, why didn't she want the scars on my face and head gone too?

_Because she was to afraid to admit that._

Snapping at her hand, I pulled her warm fingers away from me. "I should get dressed and take my medication. You should... do what ever it is you want to do today."

Standing up, I walked back into the bathroom leaving Bella on her own.

* * *

The day passed and we never spoke. Bella had stayed out of my way for the entire day, even opting out to acknowledge me when I had asked her if she wanted any food. She had ate, but she got it of her own accord.

When night time drew in, I was beginning to wonder exactly where she had got to. It wasn't that late, but I hadn't saw or heard a thing out of her for the past few hours. I didn't want her to feel completely alone, so I went looking for her to ask her if she was going to bed soon.

The last time I had seen her had been in the study so it was the first place that I had looked. But she wasn't there. I checked the kitchen, but she wasn't there either, nor the lounge.

I began to feel some wave of panic in me. Not at the prospects of her perhaps running away, but the prospects of finding her in one of the other bedrooms and not mine. She wasn't to be seen in my mothers room or Emmett's.

That was when I grew worried.

_What if she had left?_

I checked out the other spare, empty rooms and nothing.

My only option left was the den that she had never used or the garage. I had checked all of the bathrooms. All of her stuff was still in my room.

Reaching the den, I took a deep breath and gently opened the door. The room was in darkness and I couldn't see a thing. I switched on the main light, illuminating the entire room.

On the big deep couch lay Bella. She was a tiny ball in comparison to where she was resting. I couldn't see her face, all I could see was the mass of long brown hair peeking out from the throw she was using.

Why did she come here? Did she think I was that mad? Maybe she was mad with me, for speaking to her like I had.

I had been wrong to speak to her like I did. I knew that. But I still didn't like the way she had asked me to pick out her faults on herself. She was fine how she was. I didn't want her to have this self doubt. I knew all about self doubt these days.

I had snapped and got angry with her and let it grow out of control by not apologizing. She was right to stay away from me.

I didn't want this though. This tension between us. I should have ignored her question and carried on with how we had been. Now I didn't get to have her. Not even to keep an eye on in my bed.

Making my way to the couch, I lay down beside her an wrapped my arm around her waist. She was awake. I knew because she tried to pull away from me. She put up a weak fight and I knew that today's tension had only been a small glitch. She would forgive me.

"I'm sorry I was such an ass earlier," I apologized in a whisper in her ear. She tried to shrug me off of her but my grip only grew. I couldn't have her pulling away from me. She was all that I had left. "Please forgive me," I begged as I kissed just below her ear. She tried to pull away from me again, still refusing to speak to me. "Let me make it up to you." I pleaded.

Quietly, she turned to me, hugging into my chest and draping her arm around my waist. "I don't want anything from you," She mumbled sleepily. "All I did was ask a question." she huffed into my chest.

"One that you had already asked before and I had give you an answer too." I reminded her with a little bitterness.

I hoped she wasn't going to constantly be comparing her body to others because of my job.

When we had been in Seattle, we had argued about this. I said I changed people. Changed who they were. But Bella was right. It was all about self confidence, letting someone be at ease within themselves. That was my job. Bella was already confidant within herself. She wasn't overly confident, but she seemed at ease in her own body. Why was she asking me to put doubt into her head? She really was perfect already.

Yes, her chest wasn't massive. But it wasn't fake either. They felt so much better than Tanya's fake double D cups.

And that round ass... Christ, that ass. Not even I could create an ass like that. I let my hand drift towards it, cupping it and pulling her towards me, towards my erection.

_I was going straight to hell anyway._

I heard a small laugh come from her at my action and I felt the tension disappear somewhat. Reaching down I kissed her hair, taking in her sweet scent.

"Are we staying here all night because I have a bed that's a hell of a lot more comfortable than this thing?" I let my eyes trail across the white suede. "Were you going to stay here all night?" I asked, never letting her answer my first question.

She pulled away form me slightly and her big doe eyes look glazed. "Well you didn't want me," She shrugged. "I didn't want to go to Emmett or your mom's room either." Her lips pouted as she let her eyes fall away from me.

Using my index finger, I lifted her chin back up to make her look at me. "I want you Bella. I just got pissed and like I said, I should have apologised for how I acted. I-I just think that you are incredible the way you are. Don't doubt that okay?"

She gave a small nod. "It was only a question. Not even a serious one, Edward. I was only messing around." I didn't know if I should believe her. She surely could understand my anger at it.

"Well I don't want you to even joke about that okay. I don't find it funny." I was a little hard assed, but I wanted this to be the end of it. Looking into her eyes, I could see she knew I was serious. She never argued any further.

We stayed quiet for a moment, just lying there, hugging. It was nice. This felt normal. Easy.

"Can we go to bed?" I asked, feeling my eyes growing heavy. It was still early, but the whole stress of the day had worn me out. Besides it was a lot warmer in my bed. It was beginning to get pretty cold these days.

She looked up at me and sat while tugging on my hand. I pulled myself up too and grasped our grip tighter, pulling her away from the couch. "Come on then." she mumbled, following behind me.

Reaching our room, we stripped to our underwear and t-shirts, climbing below the covers. I pulled her back into my chest, wrapping my arm around her waist. Nuzzling her neck, I smelled her hair. "If I'm a prat again, just ignore me. Please." I didn't want another day like today. I knew it was only a petty argument, but I didn't see anything good come out from it. Other than hating myself more.

She hmmm'ed as she grew comfortable. My grip grew tighter. With her laying beside me, with her in my bed, with her touching or even kissing me, I felt like I was giving everything up. I was never as easy with Tanya. We fought. We were mental together. I fell to my knees with her without an argument, to make life easy. Some how with Bella, it was all different.

I laid the ground with Tanya. I told her what I wanted and when. Her requests were met and if I failed I got hell.

With Bella, it never worked out that way.

I struggled to explain either situation. All I knew was that they were polls apart.

Bella was young and I think I let that influence me more than I should have. I should have let her be an adult. At the same time though, she was an adult, just a little inexperienced.

Unlike Tanya, she hadn't worked herself through the football team before she had even graduated high school.

In the aspect of sex, it was definitely me who was in control.

I let my hand rest on her stomach and tried to put the thought of her inexperience out of my head.

Quickly we fell asleep. Though, we both woke up only an hour later, rejuvenated.

I was awake before she was. I watched her open her eyes and stretch out below my arm, taking in the room.

"You're awake," she mumbled as she let her finger trail across my stubble.

"So are you," I kissed her cheek, trying not to completely consume her instantly.

She let out a very brief giggle as she looked up at me. She reached forward, her lips pouting. She reached for my lips, kissing me.

We were only growing closer. It seemed as if every passing hour, we connected more and more. But it wasn't real life. This wasn't how either of our life's were going to last. Confinement with the other. We'd eventually kill each other. Wouldn't we?

The doubt was in my mind though. I could have lived a hundred years with only Bella beside me and I could be happy.

That's what really worried me.

She pulled into my side, resting her head on my shoulder, allowing me to wrap my arm around her and drawing her even closer to my side. Her hand rested on my chest, but I noticed that she never placed it anywhere near where my scar was.

From my peripheral, I could see her eyes fluttering. She was gradually wakening up more and more. I should have encouraged her to sleep. To try to get back to sleep. But I didn't want too.

"What time is it?" She asked, her voice clearing of the sleep. She rubbed at her eye.

Craning my neck, my eyes managed to focus on the clock that read it was a little after midnight.

_Midnight?_

"Midnight," I groaned out knowing that I was never going to fall back asleep soon.

Her hand raised a little off my chest so that her fingers grazed the skin that was peeking out from my t-shirt. She began making little shapes across my lower torso and I struggled to focus in the dark to see what she was doing. I could see, just not too clearly. I wanted to see exactly where those fingers were going.

Pressing her hand between mine and my stomach, I stilled her. She never spoke but I could feel tension grow from her at my silent command.

Lying In silence, I tried to see exactly how tired she was. "Are you going to fall asleep soon?" I asked with some hope. In the dark silence, I only felt more confused with our whole predicament. I wanted to move in closer, while all the time I knew I shouldn't.

"No," She sighed. "I-I think I'll go down to the study... get some reading or something done." I felt her shrug in my arms. "You?" She asked back.

Shaking my head "No." I had no idea what I was going to do if she was going to the study. Perhaps try and relive myself of all the sexual tension she had built up in me?

She laughed. Properly laughed. I switched on the bedside lamp to see the amusement on her face and I was met with a wide smile and two beautiful rows of white teeth. Raising my brow to her, I felt a little out the loop.

She continued laughing and shook her head "Don't even ask. I'm-I'm just losing my mind. Cabin fever..." She laughed again rolling on to her back and brining up her knees below the cover.

She continued to laugh and I sat there, bewildered and bewitched all at the same time. "Are you laughing at me?" I asked a little lost.

She shook her head fervently telling me no. "It's me... all me... and I think I'm going crazy." She began to calm her laughing a little.

Rolling onto my front, I looked across at her, "What's got you crazy?" I smiled, her infectious grin plaguing me.

Letting out a content sigh, she caught her breath "You," She told me simply. I had her going crazy? What, was she fed up with me? Wanting to go home?

"What did I do?" I asked trying to hide the panic in my voice. I didn't want her to think anything bad of me, so I wanted to fix it.

"Nothing." She let out amused "And I never did anything too. That's the problem." I looked at her confused. And what came out her mouth next stunned me. "Can I touch you?"

_Can I touch you?_

I was sure my jaw had bounced off the mattress at her words. She wanted to touch me. My semi hard on turned solid at her words. What the hell was she asking me that for?

Why wasn't I knocking her back instantly?

"Why would you want to touch me?" I asked trying to hide the visible deep swallow that ran down my throat, shocked by the whole incident.

"Why wouldn't I? You did it for me. It's only fair after all. Besides, I like touching you." her hand reached out to me once again, landing on my stomach and beginning to trace patterns all over again. "Would you let me touch you?"

Tying to compose myself, I took a moment to sort this out in my mind. She was very inexperienced and I had suddenly piqued this great interest in to her. Only days before she had been practically going insane from worrying that I wanted things from her. Now she was asking to give them to me.

I began my argument. "Bella, it's not the same you know. Touching me here," I motioned to her fingers, gently trailing my index finger along hers. "to touching me here." I grabbed myself, trying to put her off.

Why the hell was I trying to put her off?

_Morals. _

Right... I forgot.

Rolling onto her front her smile turned into a frown. "I know, Edward. I'm not some kid, okay. I know what I'm asking." She pfff'ed and swept her hair over her shoulder all the while her eyes dropped to the almost invisible pattern on the pillowcase.

I wanted that. I wanted more. More of how it had been the first night. I wanted her but if we were to act on our hormones, couldn't we at least try and go a little slower?

Reaching out for her, I pulled her back into my chest and she allowed me to. No fight, no words, just contentment.

My nose swept in the the back of her hair, inhaling her for a moment before I began to put my words together. "Can't we just slow down a little? What is the big rush?" I asked carefully. She shrugged and I felt her pull away slightly. I tugged her back to where she was and tightened my grip.

"Do you think I'll go home soon?" she asked timidly. Was she wanting to go back home?

"I honestly don't know. Why do you ask?" Was she beginning to miss it all, her freedom, her family?

She sighed "No reason. I just worry that I'll get a call tomorrow and it's time for me to go home and this all ends." _Oh_.

"You worry? Why? Don't you want to go home?"

Turning to me she embraced me, wrapping her arm around my waist and resting her head on my chest. "I'm worried that I'll go home and that I'll never see you again. You know, like this was all a dream. I just want to take what I can, while I can." I could understand that a lot more than she probably realized. "I'm not stupid. I know what this is. It's a fantasy. Once I'm back in the real world, I'll never have a chance with you." Couldn't she see it was the other way around? I was abusing her trust. I was taking advantage. I knew exactly how this would work out in the real world. It wouldn't. All simply because of my age, how we met and the whole situation surrounding it.

Letting my fingers comb through her hair she relaxed a little. "Bella, You have a chance with any guy you want. I love having you here and I don't want you to go, but you will. It's the way its meant to be. You're fun to be around – when your not completely losing your mind," I teased and she slapped my chest playfully before resting her hand around my waist again. "But we're from two different worlds. You have so much promise, Bella. You need your home. You need to keep an eye on that father of yours, too. You're lucky you have him." I was so unbelievably jealous that Bella had a father like him. It actually hurt to think that I had screwed up in life so much that all I got was a narcissistic asshole. "This is what it is. We'll enjoy it and when it comes to an end, least we have the memories." I was going to be living a life off of those memories.

"What about you? What will you do?" She asked, her brown eyes looked up and I could see the sadness in them. Why did she need to worry about me so much?

I shrugged. "I-I'll see my family." What else was there for me to do now?

"And?" She pushed gently.

"And... I'll – look I don't know what I'll do." Without her here my life was going to be empty. I didn't like to think about her not being here.

"What about work?" She asked actually being sincere. I didn't need to work so I never saw myself going back to it. Honestly, my love for it had been tainted. It was my work that had been my downfall.

"I don't know yet." I shrugged not wanting to get into this right now. Telling her I wasn't going to work was never going to go down well.

She was deep in thought for a moment before she began again. "You know, you can do anything you want. Nothing from your past can stop you." Her words were quiet and thoughtful, if only a little bit philosophical. Rolling away from me, she scooted off of the side of the bed and left me alone with her words.

* * *

"No. I don't care. Tell him nothing. I don't want to speak to him, never mind see him." I argued down the phone. "If he comes around again, tell him to fuck off." I roared. I wasn't listening to this, Jasper should have known better than to even call me to tell me this.

"_All right,"_ he argued back. _"I was just the messenger. Don't shoot the messenger."_ he laughed a little and his tone just relaxed me a little. He was right. He was the messenger. This wasn't his fault.

My father had made a trip to see him yesterday, asking for my whereabouts. Jasper of course refused to tell him anything, making my father resort to the next in line. Alice. She was scared shitless, finding him by her car late that night after leaving her work. Thankfully she kept quiet too, chose to ignore him and back away to safety before he could truly bully her.

She should have never have been put into that position. I hated the thought of him anywhere near any of my friends. Alice could hold her own, but we all knew what my father was like. Alice and I never got along great, in fact it was me who tried to throw her out of my house in Seattle. But she didn't deserve any threats from a man like that.

"I'm sorry," I apologised taking a seat. "If he goes near her again, let me know. Okay." I ordered after a moment of letting it sink into my mind. "Maybe I should just call him. Tell him to piss off, once and for all." I sighed an quickly turned around, hearing a creak behind me to be met with Bella.

I smiled at her and she smiled back, stepping into our bedroom that little bit further.

"_Don't do anything rash. Don't call him. Let him stew."_ The line went quiet for a moment. _"Listen, I need to go right now but Alice and I will be up later. Take care and say hi to Bella."_ he told me before his goodbye and ending the call.

I was really beginning to miss my old life. Not who I was, but what I had. After living with Jasper for the past ten weeks before I had came to Forks, I was feeling alone. Not that Bella didn't compensate, she did. Ten fold. She just wasn't Jasper.

Putting my phone down on the bed, Bella pulled up beside me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me on the cheek. "I heard you shouting..." She waited for me to elaborate on my phone call.

"My father," I stammered out, "He's looking for me. He showed up at the hospital to speak to Jasper, and when he wouldn't talk, he went after Alice, catching her alone in some deserted car lot late last night." Bella gasped at that one and looked up at me in shock.

"Does he know where you are?" She asked worried.

I shook my head. "No one is going to find us, okay." I didn't know who I was trying to kid here. Myself or Bella. If Carlisle was looking for me it was all a matter of time before he would come here.

Maybe we needed to move again.

Surely Carlisle would never try here though. He'd never expect me to arrive here. And I never would have done if it weren't for Bella's safety.

It was stupid to worry. It wasn't as if I was just going to open the door and invite him in. This place was like Fort Knox once locked up.

Bella looked at me a little hesitantly. "You want to do something fun?" She asked with a grin, clearly trying to change the subject.

"What? A game or something?" I asked a little confused.

Pulling away from me, she reached for the top drawer of the bedside table. The one with the gun in it. Pulling it out, she waved it in front of me, "We can go shooting." She smirked.

Was she completely crazy?

"What? No. I'm not letting you fire off a gun." I practically shouted at her, grabbing it from her and checking the safety was on.

She let out a little laugh. "Relax, I empted it after your mom showed up. I didn't want any nasty surprises because you didn't know how to fire the thing."

I furrowed my brows "And you do?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yes, I do. My dad taught me on a fishing trip when I was fifteen. He knows I don't like them, but in case of any situation that I find myself in with a gun, least I could use it if I had to defend myself." She told me a little smugly.

"Charlie taught you how to fire a gun?" I asked more than a little shell shocked.

"Yeah. It's not that big of a deal. I can work a hand gun and hunting riffle." Holy shit. I was impressed. "I can show you how to use it if you want?" And suddenly she was looking nervous again and her wide smile was fading. I realized I was sitting there, not actually speaking or even moving.

I snapped myself from my stupor. "Yeah. Okay." I jumped at the chance. This I had to see. I hadn't even fired a gun off in my life and here I was, about to get a lesson from, not meaning to sound patronizing,but, a girl.

This should be interesting.

* * *

Her fingers work quick as she loads the bullets and with a swift thud of the heel of her hand, the bullets were loaded and secure in the Colt. I swallow thickly at the look in her eyes. Confidant. Its a little scary to see. She's twenty-two, she's a college student. Yet here she is, loading a gun as if it is second nature to her.

"Ready?" She asked as she smiled broadly at me. The look of excitement is written across her face. Showing me something I didn't know. Showing me up.

Her eyes focus on soda cans that I picked out of the recycling and placed upon some log. She stretched her neck from side to side and rolled her shoulders back as she took aim.

Fire.

She missed. The bullet dissipates into the foliage and I had to laugh at her. After all the prep, she missed. She smiled back up at me. "Hey, give me a minute. Its been a while. I usually practice with my dads hunting riffle." Jesus.

The smile is still plastered across her face but it drops as she once again takes aim at the cans.

Fire.

One down.

Fire

Two down.

Fire.

Three down.

Fire.

Miss.

Fire.

Four down.

I stand there momently stunned as I look at where the cans had been lined up. I notice she turns on the safety before turning to face me with a wicked knowing look on her face._ Yeh. She's good._

"Jesus, Bella. How the hell did you manage that?" I am truly in awe of her right now.

She shrugs as she kneels to the ground and picks up more bullets and releases the chamber into the palm of her hand "Just something my dad taught me. After my mom passed away, I don't really think he knew what to teach me." Standing up, her eyes stay focused to the gun and the bullets as she pieces the puzzle together, once again with lightning speed. "Girls with mom's were taught about make-up, and girls with cop dads – well I guess we get taught about guns." She shrugs as her eyes focus onto me. There is sadness there. Something that is missing.

"It must have been hard growing up without your mom around, but your dad did a good job. I'm sure she would be proud of who you are now." Its a weak condolence over something I can't understand. I kept my mother out my life for so long and here is Bella, clearly still missing her mother despite not trying to show it.

"Who knows," She shrugged. "Maybe." She seemed to doubt herself a little. I'm sure after getting a grant to pay for her Masters, her mom would have been thrilled. It's not something you would take lightly. Someone willing to pay for your education because they think you have the brain power and potential to go far.

She came up behind me, wrapping her arms around me and taking my hand in hers along with her other one and the gun. I wrapped my arm around the cold metal and felt Bella's cold fingers wrap around my hands. She was freezing. "Okay, now relax the shoulders and bring them back a little." Her right hand left mine and she gently pulled at my shoulder, straightening my back a little. "Space you feet a little for when you pull the trigger. It will help you keep the gun straight." She tapped my foot a little and I moved it out feeling my self stable a little more.

Her right hand ran down my arm straightening it along the way and she lifted my hands a little brining them into my vision a little better. "Okay focus on the object in front of you and line up the barrel with it." I tried my best to focus on the can in front that had been left for me but all I could think about was Bella pressed up against me and her arms struggling to get round me. This would have been easy if it were the other way around but unfortunately I needed my ass to be schooled by a girl. And she was pretty damn tiny in comparison.

"When you're ready, pull the trigger." I nodded silently and took aim like she had told me. I released the trigger and the force of the bullet leaving, it ricocheted through me, causing me to ricochet into Bella.

The Bullet missed. _Of course it did._

"Sorry," I mumbled. For failing to get the shot and for stumbling into her. She ignored my words though and only encouraged me to try again.

I miss.

Again.

I miss.

Again.

I hit it.

I hit it? I actually hit it. I was stunned and Bella cheered on behind me, encouraging me to fire again.

I miss.

* * *

Twenty minutes passes and a number of bullets are missing to the foliage, thanks to me. Bella shivers and reaching for her hands she is stone cold.

"You're freezing. Where is your jacket?" She looks up to me surprised and looks away again shrugging me off. She takes the gun off me and checks that its empty before piecing it back together. What? That's it? "Bella, where is your jacket?" I try again. It's October and it's damn cold.

The penny drops. She doesn't have a jacket?

"You don't have one, do you?" I ask reaching for her hand, her eyes looking ashamed. Why does she have that look on her face? It was a mild night when I saved her, she never wore a jacket. All she had on was the clothes she had on, and now it was getting cold and she was outside. She needs one. She shook her head gently and let her eyes drop again. She suddenly turned mute on me. "We'll order one for you. Or maybe Alice could pick something out for you and bring it up."

"It's fine. I don't need it." She whispers out, turning her back to me and making her way to the house. I grab the bullets that are left in the box on the ground and chase after her.

"You need a jacket, Bella. You'll freeze."

We reach the kitchen and Bella sits at the island with determination in her eye. Oh no. "I don't need you to buy me anything else. I'll be gone soon and I'm never out of the house, anyway. Why bother."

"It's only a jacket. You can use it when you get back home too." I tell her.

" I have a jacket. I have quite a few jackets, actually." She nips. Why has this conversation suddenly turned sour. A stern look is plastered across her face and her words are curt.

"We'll you'll have one more, won't you." I push.

"I don't have the money, Edward. I already owe you so much as it is. It's all getting to much. I don't have money to throw around like you do." And there we have it. She thinks I want her money.

"I don't want the money, Bella. All I want to know is that you are comfortable and have what you need." I make my way to her and sit beside her in the other bar stool. I reach for her hand again. "I'm not taking any money from you Bella. Please, let me make sure you're warm." her hand are like ice and all to awkwardly, I have to remove my jacket as the heat of the house is too much for me.

"I don't want to live off of you. I don't want to live off of anybody." She tears her eyes away from me once again.

"You think that's what you're doing? We're a team. How great have you been to me? You have cooked for me, looked after me. You took care of me when I was in the hospital. I could have died if it wasn't for you." I let my hand reach for her cheek and with a pouted lip she embraces it, letting me stroke her cheek with the pad of my thumb. "I like knowing that you are all right and that you have all that you need. Is that wrong?"

"No. But I need to be able to do it for myself. I need to take care of myself." She sighed sadly.

"Why?" Why did this have to be an issue?

"Because – because. All right?" She pulled away from me and rubbed at her eyes. "It makes me feel uncomfortable. We're on a different level already. I-I-I can't even comprehend trying to compete with you on that level." She stuttered out. Was she serious?

"What levels are we different on?" I felt hurt by that one.

"You're so much better than me." She shouted out. "I don't want you to think that you have to give me anything. You have already done so much for me."

"So what? I did all those things because I care for you. I care that you're Charlies daughter and that it would kill him if anything were to happen to you. Are you looking to get hypothermia?" Standing up, I wrapped my warmer body around her colder one, resting my chin on her head. She pulled into me, embracing the warmth. "I'll give you anything you need. I'd give you the world if I could. Money doesn't make me any better than you and I and I'm definitely not better than you in any way. I don't even know what would make you think that. What do you think makes me better than you?"

Pulling away, I look deep into her eyes. She looked sad and took a moment before she spoke. "You have all this life experience that I don't have. You've had girlfriends and you had a real career. You're a doctor for crying out loud."

"That doesn't make me any better than you, Bella. I'm a little older. Get to my age and you'll have had life experience. Hell this time together has been a heck of an experience, don't you think?" I smile and try to take the serious tone out of the conversation.

"You're... You're pretty great."She tells me as she blushes.

I laugh at her words and reach down to kiss her, pecking her soft pouty lips. "Well I think that you're pretty great, too. In fact, I think you're pretty damn amazing." I reach for her lips once again but refuse to let go and pull her up off the stool and into me. She's still freezing. I break away from her lips. "What you say about getting you a hot shower?"

Taking her hand we climbed the stairs and reached our bathroom. I turned on the shower before facing her, her stare holding a little apprehension.

"You all right?" I checked with her. She gave a small nod and cast her eyes to the ground.

"Is this about down stairs?" I asked, reaching for her hand and letting my hand run up her sleeved arm.

"No," She whispered out. "Not really. You do know where I'm coming from, though? Don't you? You understand me?" Her voice was soft and child like. Reaching for her zip on her hoodie, I pulled it down, opening it.

"Yes. I understand where you're coming from, but you have to understand where I'm coming from, too, Bella." I couldn't just let here freeze to death.

She sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"You want to be independent. I see that. But it doesn't mean you're not by letting me give you the things you need and want. Actually, I probably understand a lot more than you realize." After being told what to do, when to do it for so long, I realized that I actually had no real independence of my own. It was all about my father.

I pulled her hoodie off of her shoulders, careful not to get wet or dirty since this was all she had to keep her relatively warm for the next couple of days. But by the time I laid my hands on her waist she was chewing off her lip and her eyes off into the distance. I let out a groan as I tugged at her lip. "Is this still about down stairs?"

Her eyes snapped back up at me. "No... I-I was just wondering... if you're coming... you know... the shower." her stutter was adorable. I couldn't help but let the huge smile take over my face.

"Do you want me to?" God, I hope she say yes. Please, god, of all the crap I have endured, let me see this. I don't care if I die tomorrow for it. Let me see this, just once.

I pulled at her top removing it, leaving her in her jeans and bra. Her heart rate increased. You could tell by the subtle quickened rise and fall of her chest. She seemed almost a little panicked but her hands rested on my fore arms as I held on to her waist once again. "Yes – But I don't want to do anything in the shower. Not yet." Her eyes once again focused on the distance so I pulled on her jaw to make her look at me. "Nothing is going to happen, Bella. I promise." I swallowed down and thought of the throbbing erection in my jeans that would possibly scare the living hell out of her. I had no way of being able to control that at all.

Since her request to touch me a few days ago happened, things had been heating up a little. Kissing had grew to hard core groping sessions and if it weren't for the fact that we were on the couch and fully dressed, acting like a couple of horny teenagers, I wondered where exactly it would have carried on to. Bella still hadn't touched me intimately and she hadn't asked since. But it was all a matter of time.

She reached for my t-shirt and began to pull it off of me. Standing in front of me she revelled in paying attention to my chest. Her fingers grazing my collar bones, my chest hair, my scar, and her hand sliding down across my stomach, down the trail of hair. She stopped when she reached my jeans. Like she had been doing for the past three days. Every time I felt her fingers move down my happy trial, I thought I was going to explode.

With one hand I quickly unfastened her bra clip letting it slide forward and pulling it away. We were both topless now.

Her palms swept across my chest and to my shoulders before she jumped up into my arms, kissing me ferociously. She was going to kill me. I was fit enough to handle this – my hormones were another matter though.

Her nails seemed a little longer and they scrapped gently in my hair and the back of my neck. Her tongue was needy as she pushed forward into my mouth.

Taking her to the unit, I rested her on the edge so I could get in closer without being concerned of dropping her. I ran my hands up her sides, cupped her breasts while she moaned into my mouth.

I swear to god she was trying to kill me. She just asked me for nothing to happen. But I couldn't stop now.

I broke away from her lips and began leaving a trail of kisses down her throat. I reached her chest and took a nipple into my mouth and she pulled me in tighter, moaning my name.

_Christ, save me now._

Her arms let go of me and I felt her reach for my jeans and open the button. Breaking away, I tried to catch my breath and rested my hands on the unit at either side of her. "No, you can't do that. You only just said you wanted nothing to happen." I gasped for air and the only thing I was inhaling was Bella's scent.

"In the shower," She corrected. " I said nothing to happen the shower. Take me to bed, Edward. I want more – and so do you." She indicated with a shy smile as she pulled at the waist band of my jeans, pulling me towards her. "All you need to do is turn off the shower and take me to bed." With that, I threw her over my shoulder pressing the shower off on my way and straight for our bed.

She let out a squeal as I threw her down on the mattress and shyly covered herself with her arms. _God damn it. She was blocking my view_. Lowering myself above her, I reached for her arms, opening her up to me and kissed her before quickly breaking away again. "You know, I have no ideas of what will happen here. Tell me what you want and tell me if you want me to stop. Just say the word, Love."

Her eyes glazed over slightly and I though she was going to cry, but she blinked it away, smiled and reached up and kissed me, pulling me down on to her. Her legs drew up my sides and I felt myself being surrounded by her. We kissed desperately, passionately and without ever stopping. My hands skimmed her sides again. Down her waist and grabbed at her ass that was still covered in those sexy skinny jeans. Her hands ghosted my shoulders and down my back and entering the back of my jeans and boxers, where she rested her hands on the top of my backside and pulled me further into her. Her nails scratched off me again and I though I was going to come.

She began to push the material away from me, sliding my jeans and boxers down. _Take it easy, Cullen, take it easy. _Her hand moved forward and she took hold of me in one of her tiny hands. Her hold was light and the sensation had me gasping for breath. Butterflies exploded in my stomach.

She was new to this, I had to guide her so I wrapped my hand around hers and let her stroke me. Before I knew it though, I had rolled off of her and gasped for air. I wanted her so damn much and I was to horny to control my hormones. I didn't want to get carried away here. I didn't want to grab her hand and use her to get me off.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she sat up, looking down at me.

I shook my head and tried to compose myself. "Nothing. But I'm about to explode. The past few days have kind of taken there toll on me." And why the hell did I ever think it was inconsiderate of me to be jacking off in private. _I was being inconsiderate to myself. _

I grabbed her hand and sat up, reaching for her lips once again. I broke away quickly when I felt her hands at my jeans once again. "You're not the only one who is about to explode, here. I need you – to be with me." There was no desperation or worry that etched her tone, only sincerity.

I let out a deep breath and nodded. "Are you sure?" I double checked.

"Stop questioning me. I'm sure. I wouldn't have asked other wise." She was gentle but adamant that I take her seriously.

Suddenly it was me who was the nervous one. "I-I need to get condoms." I stuttered out. Maybe it would buy us some time. We need to be careful.

"I'm on the pill, Edward. It's fine. It's been more than a week since I started it." She reached forward and kissed me again and suddenly it was happening. I gently pushed her back into the bed and kissed her at the same time. My hands reached for her breasts once again and I let my fingers trial down to her jeans, unfastening them.

Pulling away, I stood up and pulled down my jeans and boxers, freeing myself and Bella's eyes grew wide at the sight as she swallowed thickly. Reaching for her jeans and her underwear, I pulled them off of her, her white legs silky smooth laid out for me. Opening her to me, I rested my knees between her legs as I reached for her lips and pulled her up on top of my knee.

Her arms wrapped around my neck and her fast heart rate bounced off of my chest. "Relax," I whispered into her ear. "Relax," I called again. "You call the shots, okay." She trembled in my arms and let my hand stroke her back, calming her before I made another move.

Once she was a little more comfortable, I rested her on her back once again. I let my erection rest into her lower torso as I kissed her and let her just feel me be there. Last time it had been fast and reckless and a total blur. This time it was going to be perfect.

Letting my hand slide between her legs, she contracted forward into my touch. I let my fingers trail into her, seeking moister and then moved onto her clit. She moaned let her hands grip at my back and bicep. I was glad she was on the pill because I didn't know if I could handle having something wrapped around me that wasn't Bella. She was all I wanted.

I teased her and teased her some more. She writhed below me and begged for me. Only when I was satisfied that I wouldn't hurt her, would I let anything happen. It was only her second time. It still wasn't going to be plain sailing. Her nerves had tried to see to that.

Lining myself up with her, I slowly began to enter her. I tried to take my time but she tried to push on by pushing down onto me. I stalled her when she gasped and froze. I kissed her, relaxed her and pulled out a little before trying again. She wasn't as adamant to push to far this time but her back lifted up as moved further in. We stilled when I couldn't go any further. She looked up to me, waiting. Gently pulling out, I pushed inside her again but with a little more speed and weight behind it. She gasped and I checked she was okay. She nodded looking for more and in no time we were rocking to a steady speed. I would push in part of the way at times, and other times I would go as far as I could. Bella let out a deeper moan but she didn't complain. It felt so damn good.

Our pace quickened and I stroked her as we went, making her come before I let go inside of her, empting myself. I thought I was never going to stop. My days of foreplay had me done in. Collapsing on top of her, I struggled to move but I managed to partially slide off of her in order to allow her to breathe properly.

"Are you okay?" I gasped out as I reached of her hand, placing it upon my chest.

She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and a small smile, "Perfect.".

* * *

She was full of confidence now. I don't know what had happened since we had made love, fell asleep and woke up, but this was a new Bella.

She wore one of my t-shirts as she stood above me on the bed. She had this crazy bed hair that looked gorgeous and a prefect glow under her skin. She looked amazing. Especially since the view she was giving me was her, knickerless. I don't think she had any idea of where my eyes kept darting to. I was ready to have her again.

"Will you sit down already?" I asked, trying to hide my laugh. She was about to explode with energy.

"I'm sorry. You wore me out and then I passed out for like, two hours," She sighed as she dropped to her knees and braced herself around my legs. "God, I'm so hungry too." She complained.

"Go make us some food then," I half joked, not really wanting her to leave but hoping it would burn out some of her energy. I had slept too, but only for a little while. Most of it was spent just watching Bella sleep.

"Make it yourself," She huffed with a slap to the top of my thigh.

"But you're the better cook," I whined so pathetically.

"No. Make me something. Be a gentleman," She laughed. "You cook just a well as me."

"But you're the girl," I joked as her mouth dropped and her eyebrows went shooting up into her forehead.

Before I had the chance to say anything, she jumped forward, grabbing hold of my nipple and twisted it. "Argh," Jesus that hurt. "I was kidding, it was a joke." I gasped out as I fought her hand away. Bella couldn't do anything but laugh.

Her hand pulled away and her hand clutched at her stomach, laughing at me. Shifting up, I flipped her below me and decided to get her back. I let my hands trail up the inside of my t-shirt that she wore and began tickling her. Her face grew scarlett, eyes streaming with tears and all the time she struggled for breath because she was laughing too hard.

"Stop." She yelled and tried to pull away, struggling below me. She gave a good fight and soon she was out below me and we were suddenly edging around the bed, Bella trying to keep out of my reach.

I couldn't help but laugh either. She was trying to compose herself by taking deep breathes but she was still laughing. Moments later she turned on her feet and fled through the door. I followed on after her through the door and down the flight of stairs. Bella was on the third or fourth step when she slipped and kidded down the rest of the steps. She let out a yelp as she landed and I rushed to her side checking she was okay.

She was still laughing. "Are you all right?" I asked checking her hands and arms for carpet burns.

She nodded, "Fine. I think I burnt my ass though," She laughed out as she tried to pick herself up off the floor. She caught her breath as we both stood. I reached down and kissed her, sweeping her hair out of her face. Her face was damp with all our carry on. Least I knew she was warm now.

And at that, of course, we were interrupted - again. Jasper and Alice came rushing through the door from the rain that was now falling outside.

I tucked Bella in behind me as the the other two's mouths fell open at the pair of us, half dressed, in front of them.

Was it really only this morning I had spoke to Jasper and told him I'd see him later?

_Shit._

* * *

**_Please, guys, let me know what you think and say hi! I've missed you all so much. _**

_**fd** _


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry - I have been moving and been away studying. RL sucks ass at times. Hopefully next chappy will be quicker up!

**The Diffirence Between Us**

**Chapter 14**

**BPOV**

"I-I-I don't need to see this." Jasper yelped as he turned his back to us. Alice was left a little stunned and only took her gaze off us when Jasper pulled her away in the direction of the kitchen.

Edward turned round with a worried look on his face but all I could do was laugh and hide my face in his chest. I was mortified, but I really couldn't sulk about being caught half dressed. I guess I forgot all about them arriving today.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked and I nodded into his chest before pulling away and smiling up to him.

"Just a little embarrassed," I shrugged. "We should go and get changed." Why did they have to arrive? I had been having a great day with the exception of me and Edwards little fall out over a jacket.

He turned me around and smacked my ass, chasing me upstairs. All I could do was laugh and squeal all over again. Edward had been right behind me and grabbed at my waist, picked me up and threw me down on the mattress where he began kissing me again.

I didn't want to go back down stairs – _ever_.

Quickly things got heated and we broke away before we got too carried away. "We need to get dressed. They are waiting for us." Edward pecked my lips once more before standing up and reaching for his clothes.

He was dressed in no time and I still lay out on the bed just watching him. "Take your time. I'll go down and entertain them. Come down when you are ready." I nodded but still continued to lie out on the covers smiling at what had transpired earlier on today.

It felt so great. Edward had been questioning me all the time, but I was ready for him. It felt good to be with him.

I quickly got dressed and then headed down stairs. Walking up to the kitchen I could hear Jasper and Edward arguing.

I held back, waiting at the edge of the door.

"I don't care, Edward. You shouldn't be messing her around like that." Jasper snapped. "What are you thinking? She's the cop's daughter." He sighed. "You should be showing him and her a little more respect."

I was furious at Jasper. He wasn't here. He didn't know what had or was going on. And I already knew how bad Edward was feeling about this situation and my dad.

"Jasper, she's an adult. It's not your place." Alice chided him. I was a little surprised at that one. Alice was no great fan of Edward's but I think she knew I had a stable brain in my head.

"Thanks, Alice." Edward croaked out. His voice was weak and walking through to the kitchen I could see a look of shame washed across his face. _Damn you Jasper_.

"I don't think it's any concern of yours or my fathers, Jasper." I went straight to Edward and took hold of his arm, wrapping mine around his. Alice's eyes widened and a small smile played on her lips but I knew she was trying to hide it.

"Really Bella, you think your dad is going to be happy when he finds out what's going on?" Jasper snapped at me. "Your dad done a lot for Edward. And this is how he repays him?" He exclaimed waiving his hands at us. "This is really shit on Charlie. This isn't fair. He thinks he placed you with someone he could trust. He's your father. No father wants this going on."

Edward still wore the same look across his face, in fact, I think it got a little more grim. Jasper was right on some level and it was Edward's biggest fear and now his best friend was reprimanding him for it. The best friend he trusted with his life.

I gripped Edward arm tighter as I felt him receding down within himself.

Alice looked at me, rolling her lips together, dying to say something. You could see it written all over her face.

Jasper let out a groan and turned his back to us before turning to Edward once again. "You are un-fucking-believable, Edward." And with that he walked out of the kitchen leaving the three of us standing there.

"You're turn, Alice?" Edward asked as he pulled away and pulled out a stool at the island and sat down.

"I'm not saying its wrong. Just the pair of you be careful with what is happening. It's a bit of a weird situation. I can't judge on what's going on between the two of you." Edward's brow furrowed as he looked across at Alice. She sighed and took a few steps forward. "Jasper is right, this is going to upset you're father if he finds out – _if _he finds out. There is nothing wrong with this being what it is, you know." Implying it was a sex thing. "You're old enough to make your own mind up on this one. It has nothing to do with anybody else." Alice fidgeted a little and I was sure there was more she wanted to say, but she never did.

Nobody said anything else. Edward hid his face in his arms as they rested on the island and all I could do was rub his back to try to sooth him.

Alice turned around and began fussing at the cupboards and with the coffee pot, trying to give us a little privacy while sorting us drinks.

"Are you all right?" I whispered to Edward. He shrugged a little and I moved my hands from his back to his shoulders trying to dispenses his stress. "Don't let this affect us. Jasper doesn't know what he's talking about." I placed a small kiss on the back of his head, unable to see his face.

Fixing mugs and the water in the pot, Alice turned around to us once again. "Bella's right, Edward." She sighed a little. Edward looked up at her surprised. Why was Alice being so agreeing to this? Even I was wondering that, never mind Edward.

"Why are you on my side?" Edward asked Alice. She shook her head at him and leaned against the counter. "There is no side, Edward. You and Bella have some form of relationship going on and it's no concern to anybody other than yourselves." She crossed her arms. "Act like a prick towards her though, and then its a whole other ball game." She smirked.

Edward only shook his head again as he stood up. "I'm going to talk to Jasper." he informed us as he headed for the door.

Alice turned round once again and began to move the mugs around all over again. What was going on with her? Alice wasn't much for reason when it came to Edward. "Rosalie called me." She said as if she could read my thoughts. She turned around to face me once again. "She said the two of you were pretty sweet together, that he was taking good care of you. I didn't tell Jasper because we thought it was Edwards place to tell him – if it wasn't for the fact we walked in on the two of you. She was letting me know to shut my mouth for a change and just to back off and see what happens." She smiled a little as she reached around for the coffee pot and began to pour two cups. "Rosalie is too much of a romantic and I swear those baby hormones aren't doing much for her. But I'll do as she asks." She nodded as she handed me a coffee mug and motioned towards the seats at the island.

"You think Jasper will calm down? If you haven't already noticed Edward really values his opinion." Reaching for the seat I sat down and felt nerves grow in my stomach. What if Jasper talked Edward out of what was going on between us.

She shrugged. "Edward always did his own thing. He never paid much attention to Jasper when he was being an asshole. Why should that change?" She laughed a little.

"I realized I was being really hard on Edward. He could drive me insane and after Jasper spending so much time with him after the attack, I became jealous. That wasn't fair on Edward. I suppose I thought he deserved what he got and I was happy to have a go while he was down, but Rosalie said he had been pretty down but that you had seemed to make him happy." She sipped on her drink and let out a groan. "It's that father of his. He is such a prick. He made Edward this other thing. So serious, so straight laced, so emotionless. I have not saw Edward smile like how he was smiling in years. _Years_." She emphasised. "You're a sensible girl, Bella. You can work out if it's worth the risk for Edward."

I nodded, feeling that she was encouraging the relationship if it made the both Edward and me happy.

At that, Edward and Jasper walked back into the kitchen, Edward looking a little happier than when he had walked out.

* * *

"Bella, I don't care what Jasper thinks. All I have done is base my life around what people think I should be doing. He'll get over it. He pretty much already is." He told me as he pulled me into him, chest to chest. His arm secured tight around my waist with his hand on my back. "Anyway, never mind him. How are you?" He asked with serious eyes. "Are you all right? You know, after today?" Worry etched his face and I didn't know why.

"Today was perfect," I shrugged, pulling myself further into his chest. Unfortunately, he had his shirt back on. I hoped he would get over that soon. I had enjoyed having him topless earlier. His body was stunning to look at.

I pushed at his chest, shifting him on to his back so I could drape myself over him easily. I let my leg rest between his two, the warmth in between the cool covers. I let my head rest on his shoulder as I felt myself being lulled to sleep by his warm scent.

It was late and we had only made it to bed a short time ago. After being up relatively early today, I was worn out. I wanted to push for more though but I felt embarrassed that Jasper and Alice were only next door in Esme's room.

They didn't plan on staying long. Only tonight.

Edward had already spoke to Alice and asked her to take me shopping in Port Angeles come morning. He thought I needed to go shopping sooner rather than later, if only for a jacket to keep me warm. This time when he suggested it though, I swallowed it without an argument or complaint since all knew all he was trying to do to me was take care of me. I wasn't entirely comfortable with it, but I wasn't trying to seem ungrateful.

"It was pretty damn good," A coy smile playing on his lips. "If only we hadn't been interrupted." His smile grew bigger and before I knew it he, was rolling me onto my back. "I had been hopeful of round two before they they arrived." He reached down, letting his nose graze off of my jaw and feeling his warm breath down my neck. I laughed at the sensation as he teased me into oblivion. Though he wasn't game for round two with them next door.

Damn it.

* * *

"Edward, it will be fine. We don't need him." Alice sighed as she rested her purse onto her shoulder. She was talking about Riley. He wanted him to drive us and make sure we were escorted through the shops. Safety measures – apparently. "The poor guy can do without following us through town. We'll be back in no time." She assured him with a small smile as she tugged on my shoulder, trying to escape before Edward could argue anymore.

"Famous last words. _Fine_." Edward spat as he huffed away from us, but not before giving me a peck on the cheek.

Jasper stood there rolling his eyes. He had been a little more understanding between Edward and I as we carried on as normal. I think seeing that I could handle myself with Edward, it took away his doubt. "Call us if you need anything. Call us if you are worried about anything," Jasper nodded at Alice as if to tell her to take heed of his words. Oh, Jasper could be bossy? I always thought Alice wore the trousers, but looks like they shared.

Alice reached in for a quick kiss from Jasper before grabbing my hand and pulling me through the front door.

We raced there and chatted the entire time. Alice never ran out of things to say. She didn't mention Edward though, or our relationship. I wondered if that were to come when I was least expecting it?

"What bout this?" She held up some gorgeous trench coat that was honestly not going to keep me warm. But it was nice. "Nice." I commented. "Perhaps a little too light though. I need something a little warmer." I pointed in to the direction of the ski jackets, hopeful to get her to change direction.

"Bella, those are great if you are on the side of a mountain," She let out a groan. "You can get warmth and style, you know." She smirked at me before shuddering at the jackets.

"This," She called from beyond another rack. I shook my head. I was never going to find anything practical that Alice approved off.

"Lets try another store," She motioned for the door and I followed her out.

In the distance I saw a book store and was tempted to ask to head into it. I knew I was looking for a jacket, but it couldn't hurt, right? The books, new titles. Old titles. I missed my books. I had most of the material needed for my study but I did wish that I could read something with a little more escapism.

"Here?" Alice motioned to another store. I nodded, not saying much. This was beginning to feel like a drilling exercise. I couldn't take it.

We browsed the store and there was actually a selection of jackets that I liked, and that passed Alice's standards.

Placing one on, I zipped it up feeling the snug faux fur lining with its durable outer layer. It was so cosy. The black material sat perfectly on me and I felt myself practically moan from warm that I knew was bound to stay. It belted across the waist which made it seem a little more dressy, but it still went well with my converse.

"Do you like that one, Bella?" Alice smiled as she took me in from all angles, nodding in approval.

"I love it," I purred as I began to look for the tag. This had to be expensive.

Finding the label, I almost died. "Eight hundred dollars," I practically screamed. "I can't afford this." Oh god, get it off.

"Relax, Bella. Edward is picking up the bill. He won't be happy if he find you spent the money on something that was cheaper, but not as good quality." She laughed a little "Haven't you came across his issues on that one yet?" She smiled. "This is a great jacket and it will last and keep you warm. Let Edward give you this. He wants to make sure you have everything you need." Pulling away, she waved over one of the sales assistants.

"I know he does, but I'm not his responsibility." I moaned. God wasn't it only yesterday I had this conversation with Edward? Talk about repeating yourself.

"Bella, Edward doesn't have much to give. He's trying to better himself – and I have to agree that there is a change in him. But he struggles. He's showing you he cares with the only way he knows how to. Making sure you want for nothing." Alice's lips pursed a little and she looked a little sad at her statement.

"Edward gives me plenty already. He doesn't need to spend his money on me." I sighed as I pulled the jacket off, thanking the sales women as she took it to the cash desk.

"So this is serious? You and Edward, I mean?" She glanced at me as she pulled out Edwards amex and I felt myself die a little at being bought.

"I don't know. It feels like it is, but we know it all ends once I go back home." I shrugged. "It's just the way it is."

"It doesn't have to be like that, though," She sighed while shaking her head. "If you're going to end up hurt, why bother? And if you're willing to suffer, why isn't good enough to keep the relationship running once you go back home?" I didn't know. All I knew was that it wasn't fair, but that it was more than I deserved to be spending my time in the way we were.

"Because... because real life is out on the outside of the house and when I leave, I go back to that life. The way things were. The way they should be."

The woman served us as we spoke and before I knew it we were at the front door of the store and heading out onto the street. "I don't get it, Bella. You both like each other enough to risk it, why is it such a risk back in the outside world? And don't give me an excuse that you don't deserve him. He doesn't deserve _you_." She pointed at me with her manicured nails.

"You saw Jaspers reaction last night, Alice. Why are you acting as if this is fine? It's not. It's wrong." What was I saying? I was only saying what other people were thinking.

"So now its wrong? When Edward spent most of last night convincing Jasper it was right. What is it to be? You can't change your views on it to suit yourselves. It's either right or wrong. Now I took Edwards side on this one because Rosalie was sure that there was something there. She called me up – I haven't spoke to Rosalie in over three years. She calls me up, telling me to give Edward the benefit of the doubt and keep my mouth closed and to encourage this because she thought it was doing both of you some good. Are you telling me that this isn't the case? That this is just some messed up, friend with benefits thing." Her voice grew louder and I could see she was becoming annoyed at what I was saying. She couldn't understand.

"No. It's not. It is what it is. I care for Edward, a lot. But I'm not going to kid myself on and pretend that this will last out in the real world. Look at me." I was barely twenty two, a college student and living at home with her dad. No experience in relationships or sex, with the exception of Edward.

"What am I looking at Bella?" She asked with a dry laugh. "Tell me? I don't get it. All you and Edward are going to do is end up hurt. Do you want to hurt, Edward?" I had never thought about it like that. But Edward was tough, strong and could get through anything. He didn't need me when others would be back in his life soon enough. If he let them.

"No. Of course not. I like what we have but it just isn't going to transpire out into the real world. It just wont."

She let out an annoyed deep sigh. "Fine. Do what you want. Stab yourself in the heart if that's what you prefer." She looked away from me, further up the street. "What else do you need?" She asked changing the subject.

I shrugged. "Nothing. I have enough. I'll be home soon."

"Come on. Edward gave us use of his Amex. Use it. He'll be happy that you did." I didn't want to spend his money. I had already spent more than enough on the jacket.

"Alice, I really don't want anything else. Can't we go home now?" I asked feeling a little annoyed. Alice was only going by what Edward had said, and to be fair, I knew she was only trying to get me to see sense with what was going on between Edward and I.

"Nothing. Are you sure there isn't any little things that will make staying locked up with Edward a little more pleasurable?" She winked before looking up at some lingerie boutique. She must have been kidding? Right? "I know what you and Edward have been up to. If you want to kid yourself on, why don't you do it with some style." She laughed as she pulled me into the store with her.

There was an abundance of lace and silk. It was all I could see. To be fair, the underwear was beautiful, but I don't think I could ever have the courage to wear something like that.

Alice continued on through the store, picking up sets and asking me if I liked some pieces. Te her credit, the things she picked out was a little more subtle to the second pile she has started in her other hand. I think she knew what I liked. But I'd still never have the courage to wear it.

"You're right. There is something that will make my stay a little more pleasurable. I saw an old book store at the other end of the street. I'll leave you here and I'll see if there is anything I want from there." She looked at me but nodded with a smile, clearly happy that I was giving in.

"Give me ten minutes and we'll go." She beamed.

"Why don't you stay here and I'll go over. I'll be quick." I promised.

"Edward won't like that. I'm under strict instructions to keep you with me. You should be thankful I managed to get rid of Riley. Could you imagine him in here?" She glanced around the store before letting her eyes land on me once again, trying not to laugh.

"I'll be fine, Alice. It's only along the street. No one knows I'm here." I tried to put at here ease in the hope of getting my get out of jail, free, card.

She hummed but finally agreed and with that I left her with the lingerie and headed to the book store with Alice forcing Edwards credit card in my hand.

It was a cold day yet again and with my jacket still folded up in the shopping back, I stopped and pulled it out, yanking the tags off and relishing the warmth instantly. I kept hold of the receipt whilst I binned the bag. It was bought to keep me warm after all.

Walking along the street, I paused. I had this distinct feeling that someone was watching me. Glancing around I could see nothing. People walked along the side walks, crossed the roads. But no one was paying attention to me. I picked up my pace knowing I was only letting Edwards worry get to me, and continued on to the store.

I felt so warm. With my hands deep in the pockets I stopped once again before one final look down the street from the stores door. I really was going insane. No one knew I was here. No one knew who I even was. I blended into the background as just another girl. I ignored my doubt and pushed through door of the book store.

"Afternoon," The male cashier smiled at me as I entered. He was built a little like Jacob. Tall, Strong. Same dark skin and long dark hair too. I smiled and nodded in response as I made my way over to the fiction section.

I fingered the spines as I read along the shelf's looking for something to pop out at me. There were a few titles that intrigued me but I settled on only the one book and took it to the cash register.

After I paid, I made my way back to Alice, where I had left her, in the lingerie store. She was on her way out with not one, but two bags in hand. "That was fast," She quipped, pulling her jacket closed. "And you have on you're jacket. Edward will be happy." The smirk on her face was small with the knowing look on her face. It made me a little nervous to her thoughts.

"Do you want to find somewhere for Lunch? I'm getting a little hungry." Her eyes danced along the street looking for places to eat, but all I wanted was to go back home. Edward would only worry if we stayed away too long.

"Can we go back home?" I asked a little worriedly. I'm sure Alice could handle a night in. It wasn't as if it was her who had been locked up in a house for days on end. She still had her life. "I can cook something and it will save Edward from worrying. He'll be calling us soon. We left hours ago." God, it really had been hours. I had Alice drag me around the shops for the last two hours.

Alice was happy to oblige and I think she knew it was the sensible option. I was safe here, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

We reached Forks an hour later and as I pushed through the front door, I could see Edward relax at my arrival. I made lunch with help form Edward and the four of us sat down enjoying our meal before Alice and Jasper left. They had work the next day and it was a long drive back to Seattle.

The rest of the day was spent lounging around the house.

Laying in the deep couch in the den, I let my head rest on Edwards knee as he tore through the television channels as I read my book. His hands absent-mindedly played with my hair and it was too much of a distraction. I loved his hands on me. Having him play with my hair seemed to relax him and it only made our contact seem more intimate.

It was too much. His hands in my hair. I threw my book to the side knowing that I really didn't want to try to attempt to read the page for the fourth time. He was just too much of a damn distraction. This was why, when I studied, I hid in the study with the door closed.

"You giving up on the book?" He asked as he switched off the television and throwing the remote control to the side.

I nodded and let my head lull further back into his lap, feeling him stroke my jaw. I was in trouble. After Alice calling me out on the specifics of our relationship today, I knew she was right. I was going to stab myself in the heart. When I had to leave here, it was going to put a hole right through me.

"Are you bored?" Edward asked this question one to many times. Yes it was slow and sometimes a little monotonous being in the house all of the time, but I had Edward. And I couldn't be bored when his hands touched me like they did.

"No," I whispered out, my eyes closing with his fingertips still caressing my skin.

"Want to do something? See something?" He pulled away slightly and I opened my eyes to look up at him.

"What? A game? Go out?"

Shaking his head, he smirked and pulled on my hand dragging me with him from the couch. He ran up the first flight of stairs and continued along the hallway to the second set of stairs. To the top floor. I hadn't been beyond the first floor before.

With excitement on his face he burst through a door leading to a huge room. The back wall was heavily shelved with old books filling it up completely. The windows were long and narrow, with four of them along the external wall. Inside the room though, it was packed full. Boxes and large squared dust covers wrapped around what appeared to be clothing racks.

"I don't know if you're even interested in all of this. I thought it would be fun to have a look through though." He pulled me further into the room with his hand still wrapped around mine and stopped at one of the covers and releasing my hand before zipping it open. "It's clothes. My great grandmother loved to shop. Everything she, my grandmother and mom have bought is here. Well, most of it." He shrugged. "I know you're not a dress kinda girl, but I thought you would like a look." He seemed nervous as he flicked through the clothes. I couldn't see much because of the cover that was used to protect them.

"No," I said. "This... this is really cool. Can I have a look?" I asked before he moved out the way, letting me in for a better angle.

Silk, lace, satin, softest of cotton. My fingers trailed through the material and I pulled out a dress, far more excited than I had ever been before when looking at clothes.

These were antiques. They we're classy pieces of art. Not some mini skirt to show off as much flesh as possible.

"Edward, these are amazing," I gasped, feeling like a true girl for once in my life. I held up a long cream dress. It was loose on top with a drop waist that would flow down to the ground. Edward nodded and pulled out another dress. This one was a black flappers dress that was black with beaded derailing. I laughed a little. Okay, that was a little on that short side, but still not half as short as some of the dresses today.

He rested the dress across the cover before backing away and messing around with boxes. "Shoes," He called over. He pulled pair after pair out of plastic sealed boxes, laying them on the floor to look at. With a dress in my hand and crouched down onto the floor to look at them.

"I can't believe you have all these and they are still in great condition." Packing all these clothes up so well must have taken ages.

"My mom did it all. She started packing up her old clothes one day and then what she found in boxes." Boxes – someone had put these in boxes? Esme had saved them. "Keep digging and you'll find her platforms from the seventies." He laughed a little as he looked up at me.

Looking back down I pulled out a pair of white satin peep-toes. They had little ankle straps and a heel that even I should have managed to walk in.

"Oh my god, these are my size. Can I try them on?" I didn't even own a pair of heels but these were too great not to try on. I looked up at Edward, worried that I had asked too much.

He only laughed. "Try it all on, Bella. Try the clothes on too." He nodded at the dress in my hand.

"The dress will never fit, Edward. It's tiny" I blushed at the thought of twirling around in it with the shoes. God I had spent way to much time with Alice today.

He smiled at me, shaking me off. "Of course it will. You're tiny too. Try it on. There is a mirror across there on the wall and I promise I wont watch you change." He smirked as he motioned to the far end of the room.

I _hoped_ he would watch me change.

I didn't argue. Before I knew it I was rushing to the mirror and peeling my clothes off. I heard music being turned on in the background. Old classical music. My head began to sway to the sound as I looked in the mirror and looked at the clothes.

Quickly dressing, I put the shoes on and turned around to be met with Edward wearing a Fedora hat and heavy black jacket.

I bent, laughing. "Can any one say gangster?" He looked gorgeous but it still made me laugh. He looked like something out of _Public Enemies_. Jonny Depp had nothing on him.

"Do you like it?" He asked as he eyed up his sleeve length. It was a little small on him and I doubted it would fasten, but he could still carry it off.

"I love it. You look fantastic." I said while reaching up to the brim of the hat. "You can carry off anything." I smiled up at him before he reached for my hand grabbing me forward into his arms. "Wait, you need to fasten me up." my words mumbled into his chest before turning myself around in his arms and felling his hands on my back. His finger trailed down my spine and I felt myself grow with want. Slowly, he buttoned me up.

Taking my hand, he twirled me under his arm, bringing my front to his once again. He pulled me in further and began to sway to the music. His hands rested on my waist and I could feel his grip on me tighten somewhat. Waves of his breath fluttered across the skin of my forehead before he reached down, kissing me there and resting his lips on me.

My grip grew tighter and before I knew it it was pushing forward and pulling at his neck to bring his mouth into contact with mine. His mouth opened for me and pushed my tongue to his and we deepened the kiss. My hands brushed to his hair, feeling the soft strands pass through my fingers as I felt his fingers reach for my waist and dig in deep to my skin from through the dress.

Pulling me away from his lips, suddenly, I was left gasping and my eyes opening wide. He had that smirk on his face again so I knew he wasn't mad with me. But why would he have been mad? But why did he stop kissing me also?

"You're going to have me dragging you though to our bedroom if you you try that again?" I laughed at his words and his half serious, half joking face.

"What if I wanted you to drag me though to our room?" I teased. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Opening his eyes once again he smiled at me. "You're going to be the death of me, Isabella Swan. Now try and behave for at least a little longer... and if you do, I might just drag you though after all." His eyes darkened and there was a serious tone to the air. _I think he had plans for us tonight. _

I shrugged, "I'll behave... for a little while at least." With that I turned around and began to look though another rack. Edward began raking thought boxes off to the side of me.

We played about in relative silence with the music playing on in the background, Edward changing records when they stopped. I was in awe of all the clothes, except perhaps Esme's platforms. Edward wasn't joking. They were bad ass but I was sure that I would kill myself in them. Some of them were almost a foot high. How the hell had she manage to walk in them?

Zipping down another cover, I gasped instantly at the sight of a white, silk and lace wedding dress. It was breathtaking. I had never though about weddings, or even the though of getting married, but I could still appreciate this.

"What is it?" Edward asked, worry etched in his voice.

"This. It's a wedding dress. It's so beautiful. I gushed, carefully picking it up and holding it up against me." I twirled round to Edward with it held flush against me.

"You keep on surprising me here, Bella. I never though I would have heard those sounds and words come from your mouth over a wedding dress." He quirked a brow at me, clearly amused at my inner girl coming vomiting out of me.

"Me either," I laughed. "But this is just so beautiful. And it's so great that someone in your family wore it. It's just so special," I gushed some more. _Okay, so I'm a big fat girlie girl. Sue me_.

"Try it on." God I wanted to, I so so wanted to.

"No I can't. It's a wedding dress... and I'm not getting married. It's bad luck." I told him a little too seriously.

"I think you've had enough bad luck to last you the rest of your days." I may have pouted a little to myself at his words. Was I really that badly off? Being here with Edward didn't seem such a bad thing to me after all, despite my initial thoughts. I _had_ been in shock.

"No. I still don't think I should," I said a little mournfully, and a little gutted at the though of not getting to try on something so miraculous. And I didn't want the embarrassment of not being able to fit into it in front of Edward. Carefully, I placed it back on the rack and closed the sheets over before zipping it away.

"What about this?" Edward asked with a laugh in his voice. Turning to meet him, he held a fur coat in his arms, holding it out for me.

"Is... Is that real?" I asked a little surprised. I wasn't a lover of the idea of fur but I understood its practicalities to some cultures. Also that back in the nineteen twenties, it was a fashion statement and something that they used to keep warm. There was no Tinsulate back in those days.

"Yes. I don't know how you feel about it. Sorry, should I put this away?" His face turned concerned and I think he was worried about my own personal thoughts on dead animals.

It was dead. Wait, it was more than dead. It was killed in a time before PETA and all the other organisation were founded to save the poor little creatures. But it was still dead. I could try it on.

I shook my head. "No, let me try it on." I could try this on and leave the wedding dress alone. That was fair.

Edward helped me with in on and I pulled it closed feeling myself warm instantly. It reminded me a little of my new jacket. The faux fur interior was almost as soft as the real fur on this ones exterior. Edward brushed my arms several times, hypnotised by the gentle softness.

Facing the mirror I looked at myself dressed in heels, fur-coat and the little flappers dress. I felt like I was a completely different person. Not in a bad way, and not something I was searching for... just someone else.

"What about this?" Edward called once again. What did he have for me to dress up in this time?

My head turned a little as I saw him come up to me with a completely unfathomable look on his face. He looked concerned. His face was etched with trepidation and his eyes looked soulfully into mine before he reached from my wrist. He brought it up between us before kissing the back of my hand oh so sweetly. I felt a lump form in the back of my throat it the intensity that surrounded him in this moment. Was he all right?

Taking my wrist, he let go if it and I held it in the air where he placed it. His long fingers came into view first then the sparkle of something blue and white. Cuffing a bracelet around my wrist I looked at him astonished.

This must have been worth an absolute fortune. Little square-rectangles joined together in a pale silver metal with each piece holding a big blue stone in the middle with what looked like diamonds resting in the remaining space. It was an array of diamonds and what appeared to be sapphires. It was stunning.

Why did he put it on me? It was one thing to dress up in the clothes but something like this should have remained in the box. It was far to old and delicate to be played around with.

"Edward, that's too expensive. Put it past." I chided him. I'm sure Esme would have had things to say about her son playing around with such priceless things.

He shook his head a little. "It's only costume jewellery. It's old, but it's still just some costume jewellery." Holding out my hand he looked down onto the bracelet, smiling at its presence on my wrist.

Well... if it were costume jewellery, maybe I could wear it. And just be very careful with it – because it is still old.

I looked down between us, admiring it myself. I wonder how much it would have been worth it it was real?

We dug deep raking though to see what other treasures we could find but eventually time passed on and it grew late.

Pulling the shoes off gently, I placed them back in their box and asked Edward to unbutton me. He did. With slow and gentle fingers, caressing my back the entire time. Once he was finished with the buttons he swept my hair to the side and began with sweet hot kisses down my neck and down my exposed back.

I turned to face him once more and his dark eyes we back once again. Desire and lust poured out and I blushed knowing that he had that look because of me. "Will you come to bed with me, Bella?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.

That alone was enough to do things to me. I nodded. "Can you take off the bracelet and I'll hang the dress away," I asked, nerves deciding to show their face. _Of course they had too. _

He smiled at me as his hand reached for my face, cradling my cheek. He kissed me once. A sweet chaste kiss before speaking again. "The bracelet can stay on," Tugging at the dress pulled it up over my head leaving me exposed in my bra and underwear. "And the dress can lay here till tomorrow." Throwing it over one of the covered rails.

He reached forward once again, kissing me and this time reaching for me. He bent down grabbing at my thighs and pulling me up, into him and allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. His hands were secure on my ass, holding me into him while his legs carried us to his room and, impressively, down the flight of stars to it.

I broke away from his mouth and stared deep into his eyes and it's now that I know I'm in trouble. Like... big deep shit, trouble. My heart races and I try to rein my laugh by biting onto my bottom lip. Edward only looks further into my soul. I swear I can feel him in my heart. Like he is part of me now. And that perhaps somewhere, if only a tiny spot, I am a part of him too. The idea is too romantic, too out of my league.

The moment is all we have, and if we're lucky, perhaps a few moments in the coming days. Maybe even weeks. If I'm that lucky, and I get to stay with Edward.

I know I want to stay here forever with him. That is a scary thought, but one that doesn't actually scare me.

His smile is soft and as he lays me onto the bed with the most gentle landing, he hovers above me. Never moving away from the few inches that is between us. His stare is on me and it never leaves. Unyielding. My heart stutters a beat and he must notice. Perhaps hear it? Because in that moment he looks down to my chest and looks directly back up to my eyes.

He pulls away and his face turns ashen as he nods to himself, looking away from me. I thought he was going to talk himself out of this but he pulls at his t-shirt from the neck, and pulls up, revealing himself to me. It's tossed to the side and the swiftly moves on to the dark denim jeans and lets them slide and kicks them away also. We're both in our underwear, in the dim light. Both struggling for breath. Both looking far to nervous for laughing and smiling only moments ago.

Something turned serious, but not too serious that it has me worried. Not too serous that either one of us is pulling away. No too serious that it keep the laughter and smiles away.

Edward cracks first. I swear it looked like he was blushing. A small smile playing his lips caused one to stir on mine. He moves down to me, to my underwear and strips me of them, me only lifting my bottom up to help with the process. He loses his boxers. Then he takes my bra off.

All I have on is the bracelet. He pulls at my hand and smiles at it. Another knowing, secret smile. It piques my interest but right now I don't care. All I want is Edward and this silent charade is doing my head in.

"Edward, I need you." I gasp and blush all in one go. I feel almost ashamed for the tone of my words and the true feeling behind them. I need him. I need him with me, in me and in my soul._ I need him._

I feel like I've given him my heart. I've cut myself open for him and my blood is flowing out of me, my heart ready for the taking.

_I think I love you._

Think?

Is that even possible?

You either do or you don't.

Do I love him or not?

Do I love him?

My stomach tightens, my breathing stops and I feel my hands, arms and legs stiffen, frozen still at my words.

What did I say?

What did I mean?

I'm thinking way to much. I need to stop. I'm terrorizing myself with my own thoughts and the possible thoughts of Edward.

What does it even matter? Nothing is going to be the same on the outside of this unreality we have created. Nothing.

And that pains me.

And I know. I love him. I love Edward.

But I can't say it out lout. He would never understand. He would never _get it_.

"I need you too, Bella." he gasps as the worlds fall into my mouth and the meaning into my heart with a kiss. He deepens the kiss and I feel his hand in my hair and its fall to my waist, pulling my centre closer to his.

Does he need me the way I need him? I doubt it, but I still hope it.

I let my hands grasp onto him and hold him close, beg him to enter me quickly because I need to feel him right now. I need to have it right in this moment.

Our kisses are feverish, and passionate. We hold on tight to one another and with the union we created, we fall into a state of bliss. Holding onto the other for dear life as we run, jump and head to the waters below us, emerging from the waves entwined.

His head rests on my shoulder. Our legs wrapper around each others and our arms wrapped tight, with our fingers gripping on the the others flesh, even tighter.

He sighs and lets out a small laugh. Looking at him he seems so completely carefree and relaxed. He has became a whole new person since the day I met him, back in Seattle.

I love this person. I utterly adore him.

I'm in big trouble. But still, I have to run with my heart. I have to have him, keep him close as possible and relish every moment I have left with him.

Rolling onto his back, he takes me with him. My cheek rests on his heart. On his scar and I know he doesn't care anymore. Not really. Some odd moment of self-consciousness may have him rushing for a t-shirt, but really, with me, he doesn't care. He lets me close. Letting my fingers trail the end of it, centimetres from my eyes. He doesn't flinch. He only braces his arm across his body to my shoulder, gripping me tight into him. We seem to merge as one again.

"We should sleep," a gruff voice speaks and I can hear the tiredness in him. He has been up early. We both have. I nod a _yes_ into his chest. "I have to be at the hospital for ten." I nod again, knowing this already. He has an appointment with the cardiologist to see about his infection in his heart. He seems better though. Healed.

I lift my head up to face him "I'll come with you." I smile and I already know he will shake his head, _no_.

He does. "No. You need to study and it could take a couple of hours. Besides, I'd much prefer you safe here." I nod a _yes_ and rest my head back down on his chest. It was worth a shot.

Quickly, we fall asleep, still wrapped up in each others arms.

* * *

I'm woken up with a kiss on my cheek. "Bella, I'm off now," He whispers into my ear. I'll be back as soon as I can." I nod and try to open my eyes. Glancing at Edward he is dresses casually but still looks impeccable. He stands proud with a smile and his face completely void of any stubble. His pink scars almost glitter in the light. A faint silver illuminating the skin. He looks beautiful. So much more handsome when he stands proud with his scars. I honestly never thought I would see him look so confidant. My smile spreads and so does his. He knows why I'm smiling and I can see he is proud of himself.

"I didn't want to wake you, but I didn't want to go without letting you know I had left either." His face looked a little confused.

"I'm glad you woke me. You look beautiful today." I say honestly. He looks away and rubs at the back of his neck, a nervous twitch that he seems to do.

"I-I thought I should try." He shrugs a little. "But I better be going, or I'll be late. I'll see you in a couple of hours." With his words, he leans in and kisses me sweetly and rushes out the bedroom door to Riley, who will be no doubt waiting for him at the front door.

* * *

Okay, so I couldn't resist. I'm standing in the wedding dress, somewhat fastened up, to the best of my ability. It fits. It fits perfectly. Much like the other dress had last night.

Standing in front of the mirror, I twirl round and I blush at myself and my stupidity. God I became such a girl. How did this happen? I need Edward to take me out the back with his gun again or I may turn into Alice.

Straightening my arms out, the bracelet that Edward gave to me slips out from the long sleeve

_Something Blue._

I blush at my own thought and the simple stupidity of the swarm of butterflies I got at that thought and the thought of Edward. I bite my lip and hold in a laugh at myself.

Edward is special. And I don't want to have to leave here. Ever. I don't want to ever have to leave him. I love him.

And that thought scares me a little, like it should, but it doesn't stop my body becoming a trembling mass at the thought. And then it doesn't scare me. Not even a little. Not even at all.

I'm such a loser.

I can practically see my reflection nod at me, telling me I'm right. I'm a loser. But I don't care. I smile anyway.

Playing with my hair as I sort it to look nice with the dress, I hear the door knock. The front door.

I'm alone in the house and as I quickly panic and strip from the dress, afraid of being caught in it, I rush to the bedroom simultaneously.

Reaching Edwards bedroom I throw the dress onto the bed and reach for my bath robe, covering only my panties and the rest of my naked body.

I flush in panic at the thought of Esme arriving and catching me in the dress. Could you imagine what she would have said?

Actually, she probably would have laughed – which would possible be even more humiliating.

But what if it isn't Esme who is at the door? Or Even Emmett?

It's to late now as I've called to them, letting them know I'm coming, running down the stairs, almost slamming into the door face first.

I catch myself and catch my breath. Drawing in a breath of air, I pull myself together and answer the door in only a bath robe to possibly someone I don't even know – without Edward even being here.

Opening the door I meet a man. He's almost as tall as Edward. Striking blonde hair for someone who looks around forty – a young forty at that.

"Hello?" I try. Perhaps he is only looking for an address – directions? The nearest house is a few miles out and town is about seven or eight miles away.

Instantly he pushes past me and he is standing in the foyer before I know it. "I'm looking for Edward," He tells me as he looks around the vast space. "I'm guessing that you are keeping him entertained these days." He turns to me with a tired expression on his face.

I only nod, feeling a little intimidated by him and his brazen actions of pushing past me to gain entrance to the house. "Can I ask who is calling?" I ask as nicely as possible trying not to draw attention to myself, my situation or even Edwards.

"Carlisle Cullen. His father," His lips draw into a tight thin line and I can tell it got to him I didn't know who he was. Honestly, he doesn't look old enough to be his father. He doesn't even look like the sort to have kids. Kids. Well I suppose he doesn't. He abandoned Emmett and worked Edward like a puppet since day one. He's not a father. A father wouldn't leave a son like he did.

And then I'm angry. All the pain and hate Edward feels is because of this man. The inability of being able to let go and enjoy an experience has been ruined because of this man.

I cross my arms, lick my lips in anticipation of an argument as draw my eyes away from this man. I want him gone. "Well as you can see, he isn't here. You might as well leave." My voice in more cutting that I expected and his eyes narrow down on me.

I ignore him and walk past him, holding him off from going any further into the house and stand all of a couple of feet away from him. This is Esme's home and he as no right to be here.

"You can tell him I'll be back." The glare in his eyes and the tone of his voice sends a shiver through me but I stand strong.

"No. No I won't be doing that and I'm telling you not to come back here again." What does this man have to offer Edward?

He laughs at me and tilts his gaze off to the side as if to inspect me. Or like a predator watching its prey. "I said let him know I called. His girlfriend has been trying to reach him." His voice climbed and I could see the infuriation in his eyes.

I don't let his words deter me. I know he is not with Tanya. I know everything. There is no secret of his past relationship.

"I said I won't be telling him and I am telling you not to come back here again." This time my word were a shout. I didn't know where the boldness came from, only that I would do everything I could to shield Edward from his father. He did not need him. Carlisle's words only showed me I was right in doing so. "In fact. I don't want you to get in touch with Edward ever again. Or Esme and Emmett for that matter. They do not need someone like you in their lives. You are an absolute bastard for what you did to Edward." My word fired out, louder and louder and on my silence, he came at me.

His hand struck the side of my face connecting with my cheek bone and eye. My feet lifted up off the carpet below me and my body sailed through the air before I landed with a heavy bang on one of the bottom steps. My head battering off the edge of one of them.

I lay there stunned. He had hit me.

I could feel the pain flush though my head and my back. My eye felt like it was going to pop out it's socket. My vision blurred and I was momentarily stunned.

_He had hit me._

Before I knew it he was above me and pulling at the neck of my bath robe, his fist below my chin making me look up at him. His eyes were black with rage. My hand reached for his, trying desperately for him to move his hand. In my movement, my bracelet slipped out once again and his eyes landed on it instantly.

He let go of me and grabbed at my wrist. I thought he was going to break it. He fought with the clasp and took the bracelet from me. "You dirty slut. Don't you know not to take what doesn't belong to you. My son brings a street walker here with him and you steal. Do you have any idea how much that is worth?" He pocket's the bracelet before pulling on my robes cord, exposing me to him. "You aren't much to look at. Must be going cheap." His hands are back on my jaw and I can't even try to begin to speak with the pressure I feel on my jaw.

I look up to him and let the fear flood me. His hand comes down and strikes me on the face once again. And again. My vision is blurred again, but only in one eye this time. He pulls my hair and I go with him instantly. He holds me in his arms quickly before he lets me drop to the floor and then a kick to the back. My lungs are winded and I can't for the life of me catch my breath. I'm kicked again but this time by my ribs.

He freezes and breathes deeply as he looks down at me. I don't know what he will do next and I fear for my life and pray for the arrival of Edward to save me, like he saved me last time.

This time he will be to late though.

Carlisle's face is close to mine once again and he grabs for my jaw forcing me to look at him. "Pack your shit up and get out of here. I want you gone before Edward arrives back here."

With that he is gone, slamming the door behind him in the process.

I lay there at the bottom of the stairs unable to move for a few moments until the urge to vomit becomes to much and I rush and reach for the toilet bowl in time to empty my stomach of what little contents it has. Sitting next to the toilet it sinks in. What happened, what I must look like. All I can do is cry.

* * *

**Gulp! what do you think will happen next? Let me know what you think guys! Love xx**


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/n: I almost lost this today so I thought I'd put it out there. I'm worried that people are not going to like this, but this was always was part of the story in my head. Also this may be my last chapter for a while. There is talk of surgery possibly next month. I will work on something and try to get it out but you might not hear from me for a couple of months. Right now I'm not sure of much on that front.**_

**The Difference Between Us**

**EPOV **

The hospital had given me the all clear after x-rays and scans. The bloods were still to come back but they said I was healthy. I'd get a call in a couple more hours with the results, and there may be a tiny chance that I could do with some more antibiotics, but the result was, it has been annihilated.

Reaching the front door, I opened it and called on Bella. I was met with silence so assumed she was showering. However, I raced up the stairs to our bedroom. She might have been still asleep.

_Lazy bugger._

I smiled and prayed that she was still asleep so I could sneak back into bed with her. Yesterday had been amazing. She had such a fun time playing dress up. And then I got to take her to bed.

"Bella," I called out quietly, in case she was asleep. Turning my head into the room she wasn't there. I smiled when I saw the wedding dress discarded off to the side. _Rumbled, baby._ Ha, I knew she had been desperate to try that on. Bad luck bullshit, my ass.

Looking across the rest of the bedroom, my eyes landed on a holdall with Bella's clothes lying half out of the bag. Where was she going?

"Bella?" I called again.

Instantly I headed to the door of the bathroom hoping to search her out. "Bella?"

She wasn't in the bathroom either. Turning I saw her walking though the bedroom door. Her head was down so far all I could see was her hair. My gut knotted.

"Bella?"

She carried her own laptop and the one I bought her in her hand, holding on tight to the cables too. She marched past me and only when she had her back towards me did she start to speak. "I'm sorry Edward, but I need to leave. I have to go right now." What? Where? What was with the change?

Her voice was broken when she spoke. "Can you call Riley to take me to some station? I don't know where I'm going from here and I don't have any cash on me right now.

I looked at her back, her drooped head with hunched shoulders and stood there absolutely stunned that she had given me no explanation or even so much as a glance. "What's going on? Why do you need to leave?" I was sure that there was no air in me. I felt like I was going to drop. She was leaving me.

I clenched my fists in order not to just grab hold of her. I felt angry. I felt like my world was falling apart, but I wasn't going to terrorise her and give her more reason to leave.

She zipped up the bag with her clothes and the laptops but still kept her back to me. She still didn't answer me. She stood so still. And as soon as she moved, I was on her. I grabbed the top of her left arm and pulled her towards me, crashing her face into my chest as I locked my arms around her.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" My own voice broke and I felt myself totally disintegrate as I held onto her for dear life. What had I done to her?

Her arms wrapped around me and I could hear her sob into my chest. If she was crying surely she didn't want to leave? _She was holding onto me._

"Why?" I snapped at her and pulled her away so I could look at her face.

This time, all air truly left me. My arms fell from Bella and I fell to the floor on to my knees. Who had done that to her?

"Wh-who? Who done that to you?" I asked as I gasped for air.

Her beautiful face was marred with bruises beginning to shade, a swollen eye and a burst lip with dry blood crusting on it. On top of that her whole body trembled and tears ran down her face.

She never spoke, she only cried and trembled.

Collecting myself, I gathered myself to my my feet once again and reached for her, pulling her into me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her hair to sooth her. Anger still coursed through me, but I needed to remain calm if I wanted answers out of her. She would only close up more if she became afraid of me, of my reactions. She trusted me and I wouldn't let that change.

"Bella, you need to tell me what happened? Who was here?" God someone was in my home. Some had came in and attacked Bella.

I felt sick. What else had they done to her? Her face I could see – but what about the parts I couldn't. I swallowed down the vomit that I could feel making its way to the surface.

Stay fucking strong, Edward.

I pulled her down to the bed and she winced when I pulled her into me as we sat down. That look on her face, it just made me want to lose my mind.

Who the fuck had touched her?

She let out a painful sigh as she tried to get comfortable – pulling my hand away from her. "It was your dad," she started trying to control the sobs. My father? _My father?_

I'll fucking kill him.

He had found me. But why the hell did he do this to her? _Why?_ It wasn't that I didn't believe Bella, my dad was an evil bastard. _How?_ I felt anger course through me and I pulled away from Bella to stand up. Pacing the floor I only grew more and more frustrated.

_Why?_

_How?_

I wasn't surprised he found me. But for him to attack a defenceless girl?

"You need to tell me everything, Bella." I snapped and I saw her wince at the tone of my voice. I wasn't snapping at her. I fell to my knees and pulled myself up between her legs and reached for her face. Her face. Her poor beautiful face. I knew that it would heal but for her to have been struck in order to create those bruises made me so damn angry.

Anger. It was all I could feel. I was trying to be better for Bella but looking at her face made it near impossible.

She sniffed but began. "I-I was trying on the dress and I heard a knock at the door. I rushed to get changed into my bath robe and ran down and answered it. I hadn't though about who would be on the other side until it was too late. He pushed past me and came in. He told me to tell you he'd be back later. I said, no." She broke down again and so I reached up and comforted her. I pulled myself up beside her and pulled her into me once again, kissing her temple. "I shouted at him and then he just came at me. He hit me across the face so hard I went flying and I hit my head on the stair." Tears streamed down her face and it took everything in me not to let my own fall. She must have been terrified.

She trembled in my arms and sobbed before quickly standing up and beginning with her bags again.

"What are you doing?" I asked, panicked that she still seemed as if she was leaving.

"I have to go. He told me to be gone before you got back." She fought with her hair as she fought with her bag. Her hair was a crazy mass and it only seemed to add to her distress with its persistent annoyance. I half thought that she wanted it that way, though. To hide her face.

Standing up, I pulled her hand off of the bag and pulled her towards me. I combed her hair out of her face, sweeping it into a make shift pony tail. Her eyes closed as I reached for her face but she wasn't scared. She embraced my hand. "You are staying here. After all I have told you about him, why would you even consider doing what he says?" Her eyes opened up to me, fear deep within her irises screamed out to me. "He's never going to get near you again. I won't let him. I'll kill him before he ever tires something like this again. That's if I don't kill him before that." She closed her eyes once more, tears escaping. "No one will ever hurt you again. I promise." My hand reflexed and I gripped onto her back, tight. She let out a squeak at my touch and I knew that he had done much more to her than what she had told me. The marks on her face told me that.

"What else did he do to you?" I was aghast with panic at the thought of him forcing himself on her. I wouldn't have imagined it, but again, I never could have imagined that he would attack her either.

Her eyes scrunched shut and more tears fell. "He punched and kicked me. He said I was a theaf. He thought I stole the bracelet. I still had it on from last night." Her eyes opened up to me with worry. "I wasn't stealing it, Edward. You told me to leave it on and I forgot I was still wearing it when I tried on the dress." What? She thought I would think she was stealing. I was trying to give her the bracelet in the first place.

Before I could reply, she was coming back at me. "He made out that it is really expensive. It's not costume jewellery at all, is it? It's real." I swallowed and nodded knowing I had lied to her. It was only a small lie so that she would wear it, and hopefully take it.

"Yes it's real," I admitted. "I'm sorry I lied but you would have taken it off otherwise." I shrugged knowing I was wrong. But how could I have ever of have expected this to be the fall out from it?

"Well he has it now," She snapped. What? He took it from her? "He thought I was a prostitute." she growled but you could see the tears build up in her eyes again. "He pulled open my bath robe. I didn't know what he was going to do. It was fine though, because apparently I look like a _cheap_ prostitute." She sobbed.

I was going to gut that bastard.

"Bella, don't listen to him. Don't listen to word he says. It's lies. You know it is. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Don't let his poison affect you like he affected me." I pulled her into me but she pushed away from me, and sat down on the bed.

"He also said your girlfriend had been trying to reach you." she snipped at me with a glare from the only eye that was properly open.

"Okay, you know that's a lie." I shouted. "I don't have a girlfriend. And if she had been looking for me, I'm not interested. I'm with you." We had never admitted out aloud that we were something, an item. Only that we acted as we please with the other. But she was mine and I didn't want anyone else.

"You're with me?" She asked a little taken back.

"Yes." I sighed. "What do you think all this is? I wanted to give you the bracelet but I knew you would never accept it. I wouldn't give that away to anyone. It was meant for you." It was. I knew as soon as I saw it again that Bella was to have it. And now that prick has went and ruined it for her. But I'll get it back if it takes me having to break into his house and take it myself. He didn't honestly think he could just take it? Unless he really did think Bella was some prostitute and that if she left before I was back that I'd think she had taken it. Nothing about that man would surprise me any more.

"Why?" She asked surprised. But before I could even answer her she was back with another question. "How much is that thing worth, Edward?" It wasn't blind curiosity, she was mad. The look in her eyes told me so.

"It doesn't matter." I told her sharply. Really. Who asks the price of a gift?

"It matters to me when its a god damn family heirloom and I'm walking about with it on my wrist. What would Esme have said? Or even Emmett and Rosalie? What if I broke it?"

I shook my head. "You wouldn't – and if you did, it could be fixed. No one would have said anything about the bracelet. If I gave it out as a gift, they would accept that." I sighed and sat down beside her on that bed.

"How much is it worth, Edward?" _Seriously?_ I shook my head. "You said you were trying to give it to me. Imagine I accepted it and I was walking around with it thinking it was a piece of costume jewellery."

"You liked it, right?" I checked being a little too abrasive.

She closed her eyes and nodded a little. "That's not that point, Edward."

I wrapped my arm around her knowing she was finished with this argument. "How are you feeling?" She still trembled in my arms.

She shrugged a little. "Sore... scared... alone." she breathed out slowly.

"You're not alone, Bella. Please don't say that. I'm here for you. What do you need me to do? I can get you some painkillers." I panicked out. Perhaps now all she wanted was to go back home.

She shook her head gently and her eyes begin to well with tears once again. "I just... I just need you to hold me. Please don't let go of me."

I nodded at her words, my grip growing tighter. I knew I had went too hard when I saw her wince and again anger flooded through me.

_My fucking father. _

_How the hell could he do something like this?_

_How could he ever hit a woman?_

I understood why he dropped me, somewhat. But this – this was too much and I would see to it that he paid.

I only hoped that he had the brass neck to come back so I could beat the shit out of him.

"Edward?" Bella whispered out to me, breaking me from my stream of thought. I looked to her, waiting for her to speak. "I don't have to leave?" It was a question. She was asking me if she was to stay here. _Jesus_.

"No. Of course you are not leaving. Why the hell would you?" I knew she was thinking about Carlisle, but what say did he have in anything? She never answered me, thankfully.

* * *

After a lot of tears, Bella fell asleep. I was a little glad of it. She was exhausted and her mind needed a rest from today's events.

I never left her. She still lay asleep in the bed and I peered out into darkening sky, waiting for any sign of car lights. I was sure if Carlisle had been here earlier on, that he would be back.

I still couldn't comprehend what he had done to her. The fact that I struggled with the thought kept it lodged in my head and it was growing out of control in my mind. I was just so damn angry. I had even been more than a little harsh towards Bella and I really shouldn't have. I hated myself for that.

Glancing at the clock it was a little before five o'clock in the evening. The day had clouded over and looked like a down pour would hit us before the night was out.

Bella shuffled below the bed covers and cried out once again. She had done this a few times but had never woke up from it. Again, I went to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, bending my body around her, trying to show her any support I could. She was sleeping, but she calmed when I lay with her.

By six the rain was still yet to come but the blackness from it had turned the world outside the house to pitch black. Bella now lay awake in my arms in a pensive silence. I stroked her hair and face and it kept the tears at bay, though I could see them tempt to fall from time to time.

When I saw the light hit against the window, I knew that Carlisle was back. Instantly, I pulled away from Bella and rushed straight to the window, checking. It was him. And a nice shiny new car. The reason I knew it was his car was because it was the one he had mentioned to me about purchasing only the night before my attack. It was just some thought back then, but obviously having so much damn time of his hands, with turning his back on me, he went through with it and bought it.

_Nice... dad._

Bella had followed me up to the window but by the time she reached for my arm, I was on the move again.

I raced through the bedroom door, Bella still following me. She stood confused as I continued on to Emmett's bedroom as she stood at the top of the stairs. I picked up Emmett's baseball bat and by the time I reached her, tears were flowing from her eyes once again.

"What are you going to do with that?" She asked, her tone panicking.

"Nothing that he doesn't deserve." I replied back as I raced to the front door and swung it open to be met with my father standing in his finest Chanel suit.

This was going to be too much fun for me.

I ran to him, slamming his back against his brand new BMW z4 coupé. I grabbed at his tie and shoved at his neck, choking him and bending him over his car, backwards. I held the bat below his chin and had to keep all control possible, not to just smash the bat into his scull.

Instead, I lifted it above my head and with all my force, slammed it down on the roof of the car, right next to his head. He jumped away from me in fear and I lost my hold on his tie. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He shouted at me. _He was asking me what I was doing?_

I grabbed a firm hold of the bat in my hands and swung it into the back window, smashing it out. "What the fuck do you think you are doing? Did you think," I swung the bat across the roof once again, denting the roof and knocking at the door frame. "that you would get away with it? That you could do that to a girl?" I paced in front of him briefly before swinging the bat again. This time it landed on the hood of the car, smashing the light in one swift go.

"Is that slut still here?" He snapped at me, looking clearly unamused at my actions but to much of a coward to even try to take me on. But at his words I snapped. I slammed the bat into the wind shield then charged for him instead. I took him down to the ground and onto the stones of the driveway and held the bat up above his head desperate to smash it into him. For Bella and for me.

"Edward, No!" Bella's panicked shriek snapped me from my thoughts and I looked up to find her standing there, horrified at what I wanted to do. I had flipped, there was no way of her telling weather my stance towards my father was a threat or it was action. Honestly, I didn't know what It was either.

So I threw that bat away. Because I needed to be here for Bella, not in a damn holding cell.

"Do you do everything that little bitch tells you? You should let her know her place." He goaded. So I went for it. I swung my fist at his face and I hit him. And again. And again.

Bella was screaming and now she was pulling at the top of my arm.

Blood poured out from Carlisle but he was still coherent.

I stood up from him and shielded Bella with my body as I watched him gather himself to his feet.

"I told that little hooker to walk, earlier." He spat as he swayed. Instantly, I went for him again, shoving him back up against the car once more.

"Speak about her like that again, and it will be your last. She's my girlfriend." I yelled into his face. "You even expect me to think that that kind of behaviour is acceptable? I can't believe you would ever touch a woman like that? What the fuck are you? Have you saw what you did to her?" I gapped him by the arm and locked a hold on him by using my arm around his neck, making him look at her.

Bella receded into a ball and turned away from us and I felt terrible for how she might have felt with me doing that. She was petrified of him.

I threw him back up against the car determined to get what was mine. "Where is it?" I snapped.

"What?" He looked at me confused. Blood was dripping from his face and onto his designer shirt. That was all going straight for the trash.

"The bracelet. Don't fuck me around. Give it to me or I call the police. You stole it." I shouted, scaring Bella into the bargain.

He reached for his pocket and pulled it out, tossing it off to the side, into the stones.

I wanted to hit him again. I wanted to keep hitting him till he were dead. But Bella was messed up enough so I pulled away from him and picked up the bracelet on my way to her.

"You know son, you have just became another one of them. I tried to teach you better. For you to command respect from these women. Tanya wasn't bad. But you choose to mess around with someone like that," he motioned behind me, towards Bella. I kept quiet. "She's got a mouth on her. She'll become just like your mother. And you can continue on becoming the fat fuck that you're becoming so well." He motioned to me, to my body. I swallowed knowing that he was right, that I was gaining fat, but I still stood strong, all things considering.

I felt Bella fist the back of my top, letting me know she was there for me.

"Look at your face. You're a joke. I came here to help you, and this is what I get." He motioned to himself with a tired sigh.

I let his words churn though my mind and before I knew it I was at him, forcing his car door open with a great struggle and pushed him in. "Get the hell off my property and if I ever, and I mean ever see you again, you will be behind bars. Hell, that's if you're not stuck behind them already. Bella is the daughter of Seattle's chief of police. Good work, _dad,_" I said bitterly as I slammed the door closed, which didn't quite shut right. That didn't stop Carlisle though, he turned on the engine, racing out of the grounds.

Turning around, I was met with the open door Bella having left me on the step. "Fuck," I muttered below my breath as I walked in through the front door and slammed it behind me.

This entire situation was growing out of control and while trying to protect Bella, she had been brought to more harm under my care than she had the night they attempted to kidnap her. Not only had my dad beat her up, I had also sent her flying across a room. In Seattle during a panic, I had flipped out and pushed her away from me and sent her crashing. Was she going to think I was just like _him_?

I could hear banging from the kitchen and walking towards her, I could see her sob. Her face was horrifyingly sore looking and her wet cheeks and red eyes did nothing to help.

She sorted a bowl with antiseptic and some cotton wool, no doubt about to take care of my hands. My knuckles were cut up, but only a tiny bit. The blood was my fathers. Looking down at my hands it was then I realized my top was covered in his blood too.

I stripped it off there and then, desperate to even get rid of this trace of him.

I threw my t-shirt in the direction of the laundry room, and picked up another that was set off to the side in a pile of clean laundry. Next I pulled Bella in towards me and I knew I was hurting her, but I just couldn't let go. I just had to grip her tight, to make sure she was okay, that she wasn't too shake up. Clearly she was though – and sore. As soon as she let out the first painful groan though, I loosened my grip on her.

It had been hours since I had came in and found her. I never checked her body, despite her telling me that he kicked her. All I wanted to do was undress her and take away any pain.

I pulled at her top gently, but she pulled away, looking at me, silently telling me to back off. She knew what I was trying to do and I wasn't going to argue with her. I would see soon enough.

She grabbed hold of my hand and sat about cleaning my knuckles. I would be fine. There wasn't much damage. It was the pain that was the issue. She was quiet through the whole process and it unnerved me a little. I think she was mad at me, but I couldn't be sure.

Surely she must have understood though. Why I hit him. I knew two wrongs didn't make a right but he needed to pay. Jesus, he got away lightly. I'd have happily have set him on fire.

"I'm going to make some dinner. We haven't eaten all day." She reminded me as she set about looking through the cupboard after attending my hands. I let her cook because I knew that she actually enjoyed doing it and it was a distraction for her. I stood and watched her, asking if she needed any help. I felt so useless standing there, watching her. To be honest though, my hands were too sore to do much.

She shook me off and proceeded to go about making dinner all on her own. She began boiling up pasta and while that bubbled away, she started on a home made Bolognase sauce and browned some mince.

I sat at the island watching her silently as she continued on with her motions, letting out the odd sniffle as she went. She was still upset at me. I was sure of it. I wasn't apologizing though.

Wondering down to the cellar, I picked out a bottle of red wine for both of us. After the day we had I knew we both could have done with it, if only to help settle both of our nerves. I uncorked it and poured as Bella served up the pasta on the plates, creating two massive mounds of food.

Once she had placed back down the pot of bolognase, she rounded the island and went to her seat but I stopped her before she could sit down. "Are you mad at me?" My voice was so quiet and I realized with trembling hands that the evening had taken its toll out on me also.

She shook her head. "No. I'm not mad a you. Why would I be?" Stroking my face, she pecked me on the cheek and took her seat.

I shrugged. "I thought you were mad because I hit him. I was mad and I'm sorry if I scared you but you do know that I would never touch you, right? I'm not my father. I mean... I thought I was... But I'd never do that to you or any other woman."

She looked at me in shock a little. Her wide open eye glazed over and her now black, swollen, closed one let a tear escape. "I never thought for a moment that you were anything like you're father. I know the reaction to Carlisle was for me, I know that. But you also needed to do it for yourself. You complained that you were as bad as him, but you weren't. You aren't. You never will be and it's sad to see that it took this today for you to see that, Edward."

I looked at her feeling completely stunned. What could I say to that? I had nothing. And I knew she was right.

Our eyes stayed locked for a few moments before Bella broke away to start on her dinner. With that I began to eat. I was starving having not ate a thing all day. The food was too delicious and the wine was exactly what I needed. I hoovered the mass of food away within ten minutes and began drinking my second glass of wine once I was finished. Bella on the other hand picked at her food. She barely touched it and when I tried to encourage her to have a little more she only shook me off.

Once we had finished with the food, we made our way to bed. All I wanted to do was to crawl under the covers with Bella and never let her go.

Stripping my t-shirt off of me, I caught my reflection in the mirror. My father had been right. I was fat. My stomach was rounded and muscle definition was gone. Since I had brought Bella to this house all focus on exercise and diet had gone out the window.

At first I thought it was a big fuck you to my father, but now I was realizing what I was turning into.

As Bella climbed into the bed covers, I made my way to the bathroom, carefully locking the door behind me.

It was my own fault. I had been so greedy.

_I was fat._

_I was a joke_,

Like Carlisle had said.

As I felt the shame of my father sink into me, I sunk to my knees in front of the toilet.

**A/n: guys please let me know what you think. I'll try to be back as soon as I can.**


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/n: Ah lovely people. I wish I could say that I had took so long cos I had my surgery, but I haven't had it. My relationship fell apart and I moved back home. It's taken me a while to get settled in, caught up on study and some space to write. I'm unsure of pretty much everything right now, but I know that I'll try to do some writing everyday so the next chapter is out a lot sooner. If I get called for surgery, I'll give you what I have and let you know. You are all brilliant to me and I thank you all for being so kind to me in the last reviews. Enjoy! xx**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

**BPOV**

My head snapped back at the bathroom door as strange noises came from it once again.

_What was that?_

Was Edward all right?

It sounded like he was throwing up.

I didn't know if I should knock on the door and check that he was okay, or to leave him alone. Clearly today had got the better of him, like it had to me this morning. I doubted it was some bug. I knew without doubt that it was fear that had caused me to be sick.

I heard him throw up once again and hoped that he was all right.

Letting my head rest on my pillow, I tired to leave him to it. But my mind was still on Edward.

The way that he looked at himself in the mirror, taking in all angles. I had seen women care less about their bodies.

Something in my head was ticking. Edward wasn't afraid like I had been. He had been somewhat calm after eating and a couple of glasses of wine.

Carlisle comments came to my mind instantly and I sat up straight, eyeing up the bathroom door.

Chokes came from the other side and I instantly paled at the realization of what exactly was going on. He was purposely making himself sick._ I knew he was._

Quickly I moved from the bed to the bathroom door and tried the handle. Of course it was locked. "Edward," I called out to him, panic in my voice that even scared me. "Edward, open the door." I called again, shaking on the door handle.

I could hear another wave of sickness pass him and worry filled me. Dropping to my knees I managed to pick at the lock with what little nails I had, unlocking it from the outside. I knew he had no intention of letting me in.

My nail tore but I still managed to unlock it and I fell through the door frame landing on my palms.

Looking at him he spat down the toilet before pulling himself back and resting along the wall, never letting his eyes meet mine.

I stayed on my knees, stuck at the image of him doused in sweat and tears. His eyes were red from crying and his breathing laboured.

I knew. I knew without doubt or hesitation that Edward had done this to himself on purpose. The agony of his actions clear in his eyes, despite his attempt to evade eye contact. I knew.

Without a word, I crawled to him on my hands and knees, wrapping my body around his when I reached him. I climbed his knees and sat down, looping my arms around his neck. His hold on me tightened and he held me close as his crying picked up again. His agony crying out against the walls of the bathroom.

"Shhh," I tried to sooth him, settle him a little. "Shh, you're all right, Edward. Just breathe." His breathing was erratic, catching in his lungs and he was gasping for air. Combing my fingers through his hair, I kissed his neck.

His hand gripped on tight to the material of my shirt, willing me closer to him before he began to push me away. I pulled away from him, trying to grasp the look on his face. He still hid away from me. "Look at me, please." he shook his head before clearing his throat.

"Can-can you give me a moment?" His voice horse from throwing up.

I didn't move. Made no motion to even attempt it. I held my gaze on Edward and the tight fist that he still held onto me with by my top. "Please. I need... I need to brush my teeth – wash my face." he sighed still not meeting my eyes.

Slowly I got off of him and made my way out of the bathroom, leaving the door open behind me and pausing on the other side. I kept my eyes on him and watched him lift himself up off the floor. He walked the few steps to the door before taking the door handle and beginning to close it. He could see me standing there and obviously sensed my worry, choosing to no close the door properly.

I could hear him. The tap being turned on, him brushing his teeth. I could hear the splash of water hit off his face and all through it I could hear him trying to calm his sobs. My heart ached for him.

I decided to trust him and give him a moment. Peeling myself from my spot on the carpet to my position in bed. I climbed below the covers and sat up against the headboard waiting on him.

Eventually he emerged but with his eyes still cast down. Again, I was on my knees reaching out for him to come to me. I didn't know what I could do or say, but I also realized right now, I was all he had. "Please come to me," I begged, hoping that he would embrace me again. Let me hold him and take care of him, like how he had taken care of me.

He shook me off, instead he continued to stand in his spot. Eventually though, he did look up at me. I gave him a small smile and relaxed my pose, hoping it would be enough to draw him to me. He looked back down to the carpet though.

He was tense, upset with tears still escaping him but I knew I had to ask. "Do you make yourself sick, often?" His eyes snapped up, meeting mine clearly a little surprised I had taken the initiative to ask so bluntly.

He shook his head. "No. I don't do it often. I don't do it." His head tilted off to the side in thought and he cringed at himself. "I mean... I don't do it often. Just a few times." He sighed, his hand reaching up to his shoulder and gripping on tight trying to dispense the tension. "Maybe half a dozen times in the past ten years." He shrugged. That was a relief I suppose. It was still clear that he had some issues though and I knew exactly who was the root of them. His lips puckered together and I could see the agony wash across his features once again before a tear slipped from his left eye.

I couldn't take seeing him like this. He stood so far away from me it was as if he was trying to take control of the situation all on his own. He didn't have to be on his own. Not anymore. "Edward, please come to me." I could feel the words catch in my throat and tears threatening to spill from my own eyes but I had to be stronger than this.

He shook me off with a shake of the head and turned away from me, sitting himself on the edge of the bed to catch his breath. His elbows rested on his knees and his hand ran through his hair. He tried deep breathes to try to calm himself. I went to him, crawling the bed space. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I felt the heat of his back penetrate through my top. He was roasting hot from exertion in making him self sick.

"I think you should lie down. Cool down and calm down a little." I tried to keep my voice soft, praying he would listen to me.

He only shook his head once again.

I kissed his shoulder before resting my cheek along the plane. "Do you mind if I hug you? Do you mind this?" I asked worriedly as I flinched my grip around his waist, indicating to the hug. I wanted to be there for him, but I didn't want to crowd him. Honestly though, I needed to do this for myself. I needed to make sure he was okay because he was in pain and there was nothing I could do to take that away.

He opened up my arms and stood up, pulling away from me. I swallowed thinking I had pushed too much. He needed space.

But before I could let the worry fester, he came back to me. He keeled down on the bed reached out for me and pulled me into him. "I wish you didn't sound so worried, Bella. Don't be scared of anything I do or say. You don't need approval from me to wrap your arms around me." He reached forward kissing my temple and his breathing calmed back to normal. His cheeks were still wet though. His arms grew tight around me before he pulled me up onto his knee, making me straddle him.

His hands rested on my waist and he kissed my lips so tenderly it was almost as if it never happened. He pulled away, looking into my eyes, apprehension written all over his face.

A moment of silence passed between us before I spoke. "You know you don't need to wait for my approval either, Edward." I told him rubbing gently at his scar with my finger, letting my eyes break away from his intense stare onto his bare torso.

His finger reached out form me and he gently forced me to look back up into his eyes. "I want..." he sighed. "We need to forget all about this day. If only for a little while." His eyes welled with tears as I noticed him focusing on my black eye. Once again he looked deep into my eyes "I-I need you. No one will ever be able..." He stopped, swallowed and licked his lips before he spoke again. "No one will ever be able to make me feel as good as you do." I felt his words penetrate to my heart. He didn't really mean that. He couldn't have. But the man was in pain. So, I nodded and pretended to accept the words like I knew he needed. I knew what he was asking for. I loved him. I would have given him anything. Especially me.

His fingers gently ran down the column of my neck and I felt my skin pebble from his touch. His fingers swept down my front and under my top, his hand grasping onto my side, tight. I wanted to whimper at the touch, pull away on instinct, but I was quickly learning to hide it from Edward. He would only worry and hate himself if he though he caused me pain at all.

He was still hesitant though. "Edward, you can have me." I promised. He was upset and all I wanted to do was forget today. I wanted us to go back to our little bubble like it had been, before Carlisle came along and burst it.

His hands rode up the plane of my back, taking my top with him. It bunched up at my shoulders and he slowly pulled it further up, over my head and it was gone.

He didn't look anywhere but my eyes as the doubt still swarmed him from the inside. I reached forward, kissing him on the lips, my arms wrapping around his neck as I deepened the kiss.

The heat built up between us quickly and we were soon gasping for air. Our noses played off of one another as we looked each other in the eye. Edward soon began to place me down on to the bed and kissed me as he did. Gentle pecks lacing my cheek, jaw and neck.

He placed me on my back and held himself up with his hands, his lips trailing down further. I let my fingers slip in his hair, holding on to him. He struggled against my grip and moved to look up at me. His eyes were dark, tried and a little sad but they still held so much more in them. He came back up to my face, kissing my cheek and stroking the other with the pad of his thumb. "I need you now," I whispered out to him, a small grin tugging at the side of his mouth, be it marred from his thoughts of tonight.

Our slow sensual touching and kissing was lost on my words. I pulled him to me and our need, our speed increased. The few clothes we still had on were gone within moment and we rolled around the bed as if we were in battle, fighting for the upper hand. Once again I was above him, but at my moment of glory, he sat up and entered me swiftly.

The desperation I had felt for him eased a little as we motioned between us, me lifting myself up and Edward helping me, all to slide back down on him once again. This was new, a little awkward but amazing. We worked fast and I could feel the pound of him deep inside me. The tension in the sexual chemistry, our pained emotion and the deep need I felt for him combed together and had me climaxing fast and Edward came to his own release as I did.

We collapsed into a heap, me lying on top of Edward. We both gasped for breath and let ourselves cool down. There was no words. Nothing. Only silence.

After five minutes, Edward pulled me into him, lifting me up from the bed as he stood up and quickly pulled back the covers. Again, silently, he placed me down, gathered in behind me and turned off the light. A small kiss to my shoulder was his way of telling me good night and I let my hand reach back, my knuckles brushing his cheek as my own silent good night before we both fell asleep almost instantly.

It was a little after three when I was lying in bed. I was watching Edward sleep as he lay on his back with his arm loosely around my waist. I let my fingers trail off of his slight stubble as I watched his puckered lips exhale and inhale. He seemed so peaceful. Calm. I still couldn't help the knot in my stomach though at the thought of what he had done to himself earlier. It broke my heart to think of the image of him on that bathroom floor.

I needed him closer.

Reaching up I kissed his lips. A small peck. Another one. He stirred a little. I let my fingers smooth his cheek to ease him back into his deep slumber but I ruined it when I had to reach for him once again. That agonizing need to feel him like I had done earlier had came back. I reached his lips and kissed him. I kissed him like he was awake. Desperate, needy and needing a response.

He flinched awake from my touch and his eyes flew open to meet mine.

Again, there was no words as he swiftly had me on my back hovering above me and inside me. And once again the pain and the passion was all too much as we climaxed quickly together before falling into another slumber once again.

Come morning I was met with the rough of Edward stubble in the inside of my thigh and his hands holding me open in the space between my thighs and bottom. It was slower but still silent with the exception of my hard and sharp gasps.

I pulled at Edward hair fervently, pleading for him to be deeper. He was when he placed his fingers inside me which disappointingly brought me to my climax a lot quicker than I had expected. The knot in my gut had grew tighter and tighter and with Edwards fingers it was like he popped that knot and I exploded.

I was too weak to move. I lay in the covers, Edward placing them up to my chest before he left me and headed for the bathroom. The spray of the shower was the last thing I heard before I once again nodded off, sated by Edward.

"Bella, love. Wake up." His gentle whisper called into my ear, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down me.

I let out some form of answering moan as I blindly reached for him, wanting to pull him closer to me. "You need to get up and get showered." He told me.

I could feel the confused frown pass across my features trying to figure why I had to get up now and why I needed a shower right in this moment. After being with Edward so long we slipped into times of late mornings and afternoon showers a lot of the time. We did what suited us.

"Why?" I mumbled out trying to open my eyes and being pleasantly surprised by Edward stretched along the bed beside me in only a towel and beads of water falling from his hair.

"I need to go to Seattle." The tone of his voice was unsure and I bolted up right in looking at him.

"You're leaving me? Again? After yesterday?" I shot the three questions at him with desperation screaming out. I wasn't shy to admit it either. Did he really think he could leave me again? So soon?

"I need to go, Bella. But don't worry. I'm dropping you off with Emmett and Rosalie. You will be safe there." He promised as he cupped my face, his eyes automatically focusing on my black eye that I couldn't open at all now.

"But why? Why do you need to go?" I felt the tears prick in my eyes and I was temporally blinded before Edward closed my eye with his thumb, wiping away my tears before they even had time to fall.

He swallowed thickly. "I need to speak with your dad. I need to let him know what happened and I'm going to have to take pictures of your injuries so he can report it."

I shook my head. "I have to report it, Edward. Me. I'm not going to. I want to forget about it. You don't need to tell him anything." My voice stuttered. "Please, get back into bed and forget about it. I want you here, with me. You can't go." I shook my head defiantly.

He sighed and stood up, reaching for his underwear that was stored in one of the drawers. "I need to go. I need to tell him. Could you imagine what he will say when he finds out, if I don't tell him?" He pulled on his boxers up under his towel and tossed it to the side before once again coming to me. I sat on my knees on the bed still shaking my head. "I _have_ to do this." his voice was assertive as his eyes burned into mine as he made his way to the bed, to me.

He wrapped his arms around me, dragging me from my spot on to his knee. He was warm and still a little damp from the shower.

I knew from the tone in his voice that this wasn't up for discussion. So I nodded as I let his strong arms hold me close to him, taking what I could, when I could. I didn't know if this could be the end. The end of everything we had here. With the ache in my heart, I couldn't help the tears surface. I blinked them away furiously praying that Edward wouldn't notice.

"I-I should make you some breakfast." my words coming out rough with the lump in my throat and peeling myself out of his embrace.

"I'm not hungry, Bella." he sighed. I looked at him sharply, the memory of last night still deep in my mind.

I didn't care if he could tell I was upset by him leaving to go to Seattle. I looked at him squarely. "I'm making you breakfast, Edward. You will eat it."

His left hand nervously reached for the back of his head, his fingers playing with the damp strands. He looked a little guilty, a little nervous of refusing me. He gave a nod but I could tell that he was anything but agreeing to this. "Go get showered, I'll take the needed photos and then we can eat together." he promised and I nodded as I walked away from him.

* * *

After some struggle, I was clean. My shower wasn't the easiest task. My body ached and it seemed like every move I made, there was some new shooting pain or dull ache to go along with it. Of course I had tried to keep it from Edward so that he wouldn't worry but pretty quickly it was evident that I was in pain. I couldn't walk right. I couldn't stretch out to reach for things. Even sitting was a difficult one.

I was staring deep into my half finished cereal and chewing down on my lip when Edward drew me from my daze by placing his hand over mine. I turned to his empty bowl and gave him a small smile happy to see that he had eaten. Though I did know that whether he kept it down or not was going to play my mind all day.

His face was sour. I knew it wasn't at me, but it still hurt to see him like that. He was livid at the markings across my body.

"What if he makes me go home?" I finally voiced my fear. It had been all I could think about. Leaving Edward. It was going to hurt. I had been so stupid to allow myself to feel so much for him.

"Is that what you're worried about? After everything, you want to stay here?" He asked completely gob smacked but his own features darkening.

I nodded and I tried to keep the tears away. "I don't want to leave you," I painfully admitted. He would see that I was in too deep. That I was falling in love with him.

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head at me. "Bella, if he says it's time to go home. It's time to go home. You can't be staying here because you are worried about me. Last night was stupid. I won't do it again. I promise." He thought I was concerned about his health. I was. But I was far more concerned about my heart and the pain it was in right now. Of course Edwards state last night made me want to stay, but Edward simply being Edward made me want to stay too. I didn't want to ever have to leave him.

Last night he had even said that I was _with_ him. What did that even mean? Why did I have to ask about that stupid bracelet? He was worried, angry and panicking. I could have had everything out of him. I could have asked more, pushed for answers to what he meant when he said that he was "with me".

With a honk of a horn from outside, I knew that Riley was here to drive us. We would drive to Port Angeles and then Edward would continue on to Seattle.

We walked from the kitchen to the lounge, Edward picking up a jacket that rested on one of the couches. He threw it over his shoulders as we walked to the door and he paused, looking at me. "Where is your jacket, Bella? The one you bought with Alice."

I shook my head. "Edward, it was too much. You need to return it. I'll be fine. We're going to be sitting in a car anyway." I shrugged.

"Go get it right now. Don't be ridiculous. It is freezing out there today. You need it." I shook my head once again. It was ridiculous the amount of money was spent on that.

"Do as I say, Bella. For once." He shouted at me. Shouted. I jumped a little and my body filled with tension. My eyes glazed over with unshed tears as I nodded and quickly made my way for the stairs, to the bedroom where I had left my jacket.

"I'll be out in the car," He called on me, the front door banging closed.

In the room I pulled the jacket back out from the bag and began to look for a pair of scissors to cut off the tags. I had saw a pair only a few days ago in one of the drawers of the dresser.

Finally I found them and had snipped off the tags to hear commotion come from out side. Looking out the window, Edward was getting himself into a fight with Riley.

I rushed towards them, placing my jacket on so not to anger Edward any more.

I let the front door slam behind me knowing Edward had keys to the automatic snib lock on the door.

I rushed up to the pair but I was too late as I reached them as Edward knocked Riley onto his backside. My anger flared at his attitude that he thought he could blame any of this on Riley. I knew what he was thinking and though I knew little of Riley, I also knew that he didn't like Carlisle so I doubted that he would have told him where Edward was. I knew, deep in me, I knew that this is why Edward was fighting. I could see the anger in him. The anger so easily snapping at me moment before was proof that Edward was ready for blowing up. He needed to get his anger in check. He was angry at everything that had happened, but he couldn't just take the blame out on someone who was innocent.

My speed gave me strength as I pushed Edward back against the car. Grabbing hold of his jacket I began shouting at him. "What do you think you are doing?" I glanced to Riley who was now making his way back on his feet.

Rileys curled lip in anger and the stiff jaw he held slackened as his eyes met with my face. "Jesus," he whispered out, stunned at my face. "Carlisle did that to her?" He asked, horror etched on his features.

Edwards face was dark with anger but it had calmed. His furrowed brows and eyes held a steady gaze on me though as he nodded answering Riley.

Riley sighed. "Okay, we forget this Edward," I couldn't help notice the casual tone and the use of Edwards first name. "I can understand why you're mad and I know I look like an easy route to information for Carlisle, but I didn't speak to him and I wouldn't have told him anything if he had came to me. I wouldn't do that. Sorry, but I hate your father. It would give me great satisfaction knowing that I had information that he didn't have."

Edwards hands raked his hair at his own frustration. "I'm sorry, Riley. I really am." He spoke to the ground but eventually met Rileys eyes for Riley to shrug him off.

"Don't worry about it, man. I can understand." Riley looked to me concerned. "Are you all right, Bella?" I only nodded briefly at him before reaching for Edwards hand.

"We should get going," Edward motioned as he pulled on the door handle of the car, letting me slide in before closing the door.

* * *

Sitting next to Edward I vibrated with the tension that rolled off of him. His hand were clasped and his head rested on them, his eyes closed. He wasn't doing well today at all. I knew that the last day had me eaten up inside, but I knew I wasn't letting it affect me as much as Edward was.

I couldn't take it anymore. I reached for his arm, opening him up to me and let myself slide in the space, my head resting on his chest. I felt him relax a little as he went with me and leaned back in the seat of the car. I let my head slip down further, resting on his knee and kicked my legs up behind me letting myself stretch out on the small space of the back seat.

Edwards hands reached for my hair, wrapping and unwrapping strands from around his fingers. "I'm sorry if I upset you. I shouldn't have shouted like that." I shrugged in his lap enjoying the touch of him too much to care. "I'm sorry for fighting again. I know you don't want to see that. It was really stupid of me to not even think how that would make you feel." I shrugged again. "Are you even talking to me?" he asked slightly worried, his hands stalling in my hair.

I rolled onto my back and smiled up at him. "Of course I am. I'm only trying to forget about it all. I don't want you going away down to Seattle to tell my dad all about this, but at the same time I know we have too. That you have too. He'd be mad if you didn't." I sighed. "I only wish we could have stayed in bed." I smirked and he smirked right back.

"Me too. This is the last thing I want to have to do. To have to leave you. But you _will_ be safe with Emmett." He promised. I knew I would be. I nodded, knowing.

"You will be back tonight?" I checked.

"Of course." He said without doubt and I believed him. "How are you feeling now?" He asked with concern as his fingers traced the edge of my black eye.

"I've told you. I'm fine. Stop worrying about me and start worrying about what my dad is going to say." The knot in my gut tensed at the though of having to leave once again. What was I going to say if he told me to go home. No? I doubted it.

"I don't think Charlie is going to send you home. You're still a lot safer here than in Seattle. In fact the only people who will be anywhere near you will be the ones who I allow. No one will be getting past me again." His jaw clenched.

"Oh really?" I asked as I sat myself up and brought my body flushed against him "Think you own me, do you?" I teased and as I did, I saw him relax a little bit more.

"I'm pretty sure I did last night." He playfully boasted and my face turned scarlet.

I reached in to him, kissing his neck. His head lolling backwards onto the headrest. My lips found a short path and were quick to reach his ear. I let my teeth graze off of his lobe which loosened some deep groan from deep within his chest. Pulling my lips away, I spoke. "Well, we'll have to see who owns who later on, wont we?"

* * *

After some private time in the back of the car, Edward and I were growing a little hot and bothered. So hot that both of us had discarded our jackets and I had discarded Edwards t-shirt. I didn't want to upset Edward with seeing any bruises or having any reminder of the day before disturb our mood, so I simply laughed it off saying it was too cold for me to take off my top. Edward gave me it. Whether he believed that I was cold or knew I was trying to shield him for it ruining the moment, he accepted it without question and had only continued on with our make out session.

Pulling up, out side Emmett and Rosalie's home we were quick to finish sorting ourselves out to look presentable.

Of course, the house was huge. Not as large as the one in Forks, but on a similar level to Edwards town house in Seattle, except it was laid out a little wider and covered two floors instead of the narrower build and four levels of the town house.

Edward was full of smiles as he dragged me behind him as he raced to the door, desperate to get back into warmth. He didn't knock, he simply let himself in and called on Emmett and Rosalie as if it were second nature to him and their relationship. It made me smile to myself. Though it also had me worried that the house was so accessible when I was being sent here to be kept safe. The house in Forks had been locked, but I had been foolish enough to let Carlisle in. Here though, he could simply walk in.

"Through here, guys." Emmett called from another room. We followed the voice through the door frame and entered the lounge. Rosalie was laying stretched out on the couch and Emmett was trying to help her get comfortable, him crowding over her, and her slapping his hands away looking a little aggravated.

I felt Edwards hand slip from my back as we stopped in the room and Emmett standing up finally focusing on us. Rosalie tried to sit up a little, but she faced the opposite way from us.

Emmett only stood there, momentarily stunned at he looked at my face, his face concentrating on my eye and split lip. "Em," Rosalie called, unknowing to the silence. "Guys," She lifted herself forward at the same time Emmett's eyes darted to Edward. "Bella?" Rosalie screech filled the room as she called my name and grabbed hold of Emmett's arm, to pull herself up.

"What happened?" Emmetts voice was low and eerie and almost accusing as his gaze fell to me and then back to Edward.

"I didn't touch her." Edward rushed out, his hands going up automatically to protect himself. But Emmett never came at him.

"I never said you did. I asked what happened?" Emmett stood rigid and his tone was sharp. Rosalies touch instantly soothed him, his body slacking under her finger tips as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

Looking up to Edward, I was surprised to see him looking so afraid. He was as rigid as Emmett had been and his chest was heaving. His hands still stood out in the air, but not as high as they had been.

"Was he at the house yesterday?" Emmett's voice calmed a little.

"Who?" Edward asked confused. "Carlisle?"

"Yeah. Who else has such a way with the Ladies?" Emmett grunted and shook his head. "I can't believe you never told me this is why you were bringing her over. It was him, right?" Anger radiated from Emmett but Edward looked surprised.

"How did you- Why would you say that?" Edward asked, confused. "How did you know it was Carlisle?" Edward looked to me, still confused. His looks shifted to Emmett once again.

"Isn't that his usual style with women? Beats them senseless?" He shrugged.

Edward stood there, confusion running over his features. He looked at Emmett, to Rosalie then to me. Rosalie looked to Emmett and her face dropped. "He doesn't know." She cupped her face, her eyes going as wide as saucers.

"I don't know what?" Edward asked, his voice laced with worry. His arm reached around me and drew me into him, under his arm as if to try to protect me. "Emmett, what don't I know?"

Emmett sighed, "Dad – he used to smack mom around."

* * *

"Oh my god. I can't believe he never knew. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Why? Why did no one talk about this? How did he get so far in life without knowing. He must have had some idea." Rosalie was muttering to herself, all the time pacing the floor of her bedroom.

She was quick to pull me out of the lounge as Emmett began to explain the past to Edward.

I had been pulled away by Rosalie, leaving Edward as white as a ghost. She brought me up stairs all for her to freak out, and I was standing here completely lost to the situation.

I rushed to Rosalie, stalling her. "Aren't you supposed to be on bed rest and taking it easy?" I asked, trying gently to get her to sit down on the bed.

"I can't believe he didn't know." She all but screamed in my face. Still clearly visibly shocked. She sat down on the bed behind her. "How could he not know, Bella? How?" She asked to me, looking for an explanation. Truth was I couldn't tell her anything. I had no idea on what was actually going on.

I sat down on the bed beside her. "Will you tell me what happened? I'm confused. Carlisle hit Esme?" I asked as slowly. She nodded.

"He did it a good few times. Last time he did it, he beat the living shit out of her, Bella – like he did to you. I mean, I wasn't there or anything, but Emmett was. Bella, he's going to go crazy." She shook her head and tried to calm her breaths. "Emmett saw it happen. Not it all, but a good part of it. It was the night she left. That was the reason Emmett never left Edward. But Emmett always assumed Edward knew. I mean, he had saw her that night. Before she left." her gaze was on the wall as she thought about it all, trying to piece it together in her head. "Oh my god, Bella. He must have been too young. He doesn't remember. That must be it – or that his mind blocked it out." She shrugged before finally letting her eyes land on me. "He's never said anything?" She asked.

I was worried what to say. I knew that Edward had felt his mom had left him, but on the other hand, it wasn't my place to say. "Bella, please. Anything?"

Rosalies eyes pleased with me so I told her all I could. "He felt his mom left him. That she just... _left_. I don't think he ever thought that there was a reason, except that she wanted to leave. I mean, he knows that he wouldn't leave and that she felt she had no option but to let him stay with his dad." I shook my head. "I don't know what else to say, Rosalie. Edward is very private about that."

She nodded and placed her hand on my knee. "I know. I'm sorry if I pressed there. I just – I can't believe it. Poor Edward." I nodded at the thought. "Oh my god. No. Never mind Edward, how are you? Shit, Bella. What happened?" Rosalie tucked her legs under her as she focused all her energy into me.

"I-I didn't think. I opened the door. It was stupid, but something in me did what was natural and I rushed to the door to answer it. He walked in, wanted to speak to Edward and when I told him he wasn't in he told me he would be back. He had told me who he was by that point and I just shouted at him, no. I told him he wasn't to come near Edward." I shrugged feeling foolish but Rosalie had the biggest smile on her face.

"I would have paid money to see that. Carlisle getting a talking down." She laughed.

"Yeah. That was a great Idea." I rolled my eyes at myself. "He came at me, threw me around, punched me. He got in a good few kicks when I was lying on the floor." I could feel my eyes begin to pool with tears at the thought.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. That was so inconsiderate of me. Oh god I'm such an idiot. I didn't mean to pry – or to laugh. I-I-I..." She sighed as she cupped my face, drying my tears for me.

"It's all right." I shrugged off.

"It's not. I'm such an idiot at-" She was interrupted with a knock on the bedroom door. "Come in." She shouted as I furiously wiped at my face.

Edwards head swung round the door, unsure.

"Come in," Rosalie motioned with her head and the softest of voices.

Edward stepped into the room and stood nervously. "I was coming to tell you I'm leaving now."

I nodded, trying not to look at him, trying not to show how upset I had been. He had enough to deal with.

"Bella?" I nodded again, still trying to avoid his gaze. I gave a quick glance up before letting my eyes fall to the floor. I didn't mean to appear so distant. I knew he had just received a shock. He didn't need my waterworks as well.

He sighed and walked in, crouching down on the spot in front of me. "I really need to go, Bella. You know I wouldn't go if I didn't have to." His eyes met mine and the small smile that played his lips let me know what he was thinking about. That he wished we could still be in bed.

I nodded, "I know. Go. Honestly, I'm fine. I'm more concerned about you." He waved me off with a shake of the head.

"I'll be fine." He promised.

"You'll call me?" I asked hopeful.

"As soon as I'm leaving." His hand reached for mine, grasping onto my fingers. "I'll be as quick as I can."

His eyes darted to Rosalie before he looked at me once again. He looked like he wanted to say something but I think he was uncomfortable in doing so without any privacy.

Rosalie was of course quick to see that she wasn't welcome and tried to rush to her feet. Though her state wasn't exactly giving on that one and I stopped her before she could fight her way to her feet. "Sit," I ordered, reaching out to her and placing my hand on her knee and smiling at her. She needed to calm down before she went into labour early.

Edward laughed and it was nice to hear it and the small genuine smile play his lips. Me and Edwards eyes met once again. "I really have to go now." He smiled.

I laughed. "I know. Go. I'll see you soon enough." As he gathered to his feet, he reached to my lips, gently kissing me. His eyes still bore into mine and he didn't let go of my hand.

"Where's my kiss?" Rosalie joked, breaking the moment between us.

He dropped my hand and rushed to Rosalie, taking her face in his hands and smacking a loud kiss on her cheek.

She screamed and laughed and fought out his grasp. "Ugh. I need another shower now." she called as she fell back into the mattress of the bed.

Their moment of fun seemed to lift Edward a little, and he headed out the door with a smile on his face, his eyes on me as he left and closed the door behind him.

"Oh my god, you pair must be at it like bunnies." Rosalie exclaimed from the bed, shaking her head.

My face turned red at her words and she only laughed harder and sat up. "Are you going to tell me what's been happening? Jesus, Bella. I needed to leave there. All that sexual tension was too much. What has been going on with you two?"

"Nothing." I shouted, feeling embarrassed.

"Nothing?" She asked sceptically with a raised eyebrow.

I sighed, "Well, no. Not nothing." I shrugged.

"So, something? What's been going on?" She looked like she was going to burst with excitement.

I was praying that this wasn't going to set of her labour.

"I don't know. I feel like we had been getting along great, then yesterday happened. It's been a lot to deal with, you know." She nodded, her face a little more serious. "After yesterday, I feel closer to him, but further away from him at the same time. I'm terrified that he's going to go to Seattle and my dad is going to tell him to send me back to the city. I've been so stupid, Rosalie." I shook my head at my own stupidity and avoided her eyes.

"Why? What happened to make you feel further away from him?"

"I don't even know where to start with that one. We had a stupid argument over a bracelet. He gets angry at my injuries and I know he's blaming himself for it. He even made himself sick because Carlisle said something about him being fat." God I wanted to cry.

"What?" She asked stunned. "Okay, he's going to blame himself for you getting hurt. Forget that, It's him that has to deal with that. Emmett still beats himself up about his mom. Nether of them could have done anything." She clasped onto my hand, making me listen to her. "What about this making himself sick?" God, I had said too much. But I didn't know what to do. Rosalie was all I had to talk to.

"He makes himself sick. He locked himself in the bathroom last night and made himself sick." Her face paled with horror. "I managed to get it open but I was too late. He had threw up everything by then." I cried again at the thought. "He promised he wont do it again. He said he has only done it a few times – when things get stressful. I think its been Carlisle that's led him to do it. The pressure." I shook my head not even sure what I was speaking of now. "I shouldn't be saying any of this. It's not fair on Edward. Please don't say anything." I begged.

"Bella, sweetie, you need to calm down and Breathe. That's not fair for him to put that on you and not allow you to talk about it. You will go mad with worry. But you need to speak to him about it properly. Try and encourage him to get some help." I nodded, knowing she was right.

"I've been so stupid though. I'm too involved. I'm going to end up broken when I have to leave him. This is a casual thing. Edward doesn't want me like I want him."

"Are you sure?" She asked, "It looked to me like he was more than a little concerned with you before he left. I really think he cares about you, Bella. You don't know the old Edward. He was so... so detached. That wasn't him there."

"Yeah but I keep pissing him off. I mean he tried to be nice and give me a present and I shouted at him. I'm tiring him out with it all."

"What did he try to give you?" She asked with a small smile on her lips.

"A bracelet. Some expensive antique that belongs to his mom." I shook my head exasperated by the thought of that thing.

"What does it look like?" She asked curiously. "Diamonds and sapphires?" She asked, already knowing. I nodded. "I can't believe he tried to give that you to. Why didn't you take it?" She asked, her voice getting louder.

"Because it's his moms, and I'm sure her or Emmett would have something to say about it." I shrugged.

"No. It's his, Bella. It belongs to Edward." She was up on her knees with a look of excitement written across her face. "What did he say when you refused it?"

I shook my head. "I didn't refuse it as such. I kinda took it – but only because he lied and said it was costume jewellery. But I had it on when Carlisle came and he took it off me. He thought I was trying to steal it. He took it." Rosalie gasped, horrified.

"Carlisle has it?" I shook my head.

"No. Carlisle came back and Edward beat him to a pulp. I thought he was going to kill him. He got the bracelet back at the same time."

"Hmm. I bet that made Edward feel good for a bit." She laughed lightly. Silence fell between us as Rosalie sat in deep thought.

"Did Edward try to give you the bracelet again?" I shook my head, telling her no. "Do you think he will?" She asked.

I frowned, hoping not. "I hope not. I can't accept that. It's too much. Seeing Carlisle anger was enough to alert me to how much of an important piece it is."

"Exactly, Bella. Edward gave it to you. You said that you didn't think he wanted you like you want him, but I don't think you are seeing things clearly here. Edward is awkward and unsure. I mean, he might look like he knows what he wants, but he has never been open like he is with you. Okay, I know we haven't saw much of one another over the years, but Edward is reserved, too caring about his public image to act on lust – or love. I've never saw him show affection to anyone, like he showed you. And that bracelet means a lot to the family. He's not going to give it to someone that he doesn't plan on seeing again." She chewed on her lip and looked a little nervous. "Bella, I have a similar bracelet. Emmett give it to me not long before he proposed." _What? _

"What are you saying?" I asked panicked. That was something that wasn't going to happen between us – no matter how much I hoped and dreamed.

"I'm not saying he's going to ask you to marry him. I'm trying to tell you that it means a lot for him to give it to you. You might see it as some flashy expensive gift, but for Edward it means a lot more than that. He's obviously struggling to admit his feelings so he gave that to you, hoping you would understand. Truthfully, Bella, I think he's falling in love with you. Why else would he give you something that's part of the family, if he didn't plan for you to become part of it?"

_**a/n: Guys, as always. I ask for you to give me some love ;)**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**a/n: First of all I'd like to apologize for not getting back to a single review! They were all amazing and it made me feel great that you are there for me. I'm sorry I didn't reply but I had two essays due and I managed to type this in the process. I'll try to be quicker, tho. I'm really aiming for a chapter a week! Thanks for the encouragement guys and I really will get back to your reviews this time! **_

_**Happy BD pt. 2 ;) I'm off for the marathon tomorrow. Anyone else?**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

**EPOV**

On the drive to Seattle my head churned and churned with everything that had transpired in the past two days. Bella, me, my mom. It was too much to take in. How could I have not known what happened all those years ago? Why had it never been mentioned before?

I wasn't surprised at the fact my father never mentioned it. Though now, his words last night, that Bella would be like my mother rang louder and louder in my head. The thought was almost painful. A knife slicing in deeper and deeper to my brain at Bella ever becoming my mother. I saw Bella like my mom. A lot, actually. Well from what I can remember when I had been close with her. But that wasn't a bad thing. Her traits and similar personalties were ones to be cherished. Now I understood a lot more than I had, I was realizing my mothers bad traits weren't there in the first place. I thought my mom had packed up and left of her own selfishness, but now I could see she ran away from us to protect herself. I couldn't be mad at her for that. But the thought of Bella being placed into a situation like my mom had been trapped in; it was unthinkable. It made me want to be sick.

Carlisle had struck her. Her face, her delicate body. Threatened her. Bella would never be put into that situation with another man as long as I was going to be around.

The worst thing about it all though was how things could have been so different. I wanted to hit myself for being so stupid to not know what had happened. For not suspecting, for not asking, for not looking further into why my mom had left, other than to listen to Carlisle telling me she was selfish, that he was sure she had another man in her life. It was all lies. There wasn't a doubt about it in my mind. There had been no one. She had cared for us, was always there for us at every turn. I remembered that – so why didn't I remember her being hit?

Emmett was visibly upset as he spoke about it. All these years later and you would still think it was yesterday it had happened. Maybe seeing Bella was too much for him, but I have never saw Emmett look so upset and mad at the same time. And I had pushed him in life many a time.

Emmett had heard it go on, but had never saw anything. He hid, being too afraid of what to do. He was still so young. He was a big kid, but he was so soft and full of emotion. Then that last night, after not being able to take it any more, he walked in and rushed to our mom, subsequently letting Carlisle know he knew and that he wasn't going to let it happen. He was an eleven year old kid and he had to take Carlisle on. And I never knew a thing. I was eight years old and my brother only stayed because I had been to suborn to leave so he stayed there in case Carlisle ever struck me.

How could I not hate myself now? I had made Emmett's life a nightmare making him stay and he hated me thinking I was taking dads side, yet he still never left me. He never left me. Not until it was apparent that I was just as rotten as Carlisle.

Emmett was surprised that I didn't know, but at the same time, he only berated himself for not making sure that I understood what was going on. That I had a clear view of the divide. But I hadn't and I had spent my life with someone that I wouldn't have given the time of day too.

Rosalie was obviously getting something out of Bella. She was upset but I knew it would be good for her to speak about it. I wish she had spoke to me about it more, but she was too tough for her own good. Always with a solid front. But there were tear stains on her cheeks when I walked into the room and I hoped it was helping. God knows I wanted to cry myself. I had shed considerably more tears than Bella had last night. She needed to open up more. She was too closed to me.

I struggled to know where I stood with her. She was mad that my father had referred to Tanya as my girlfriend. It hurt her, I was sure. Then when I told her that I was with her. She was stunned. What was this we were playing at? I knew she thought it would all fall through when she was back in Seattle. I knew it too. But there was a part of me that hoped that we could make it back together. Even if the Chief did shoot me.

I could be a man and admit I had reservations about our relationship. There was the age difference and generally the difference in attitudes that came with that. She needed to learn her own confidence. She was still a little shy and needing to come out of her shell. She was holding herself back and and I knew it. I had watched her for weeks before she took shelter with me and I knew she was holding herself back. She had a mouth on her. My father was right about that. But I loved it. It was completely unfiltered and it was about the only slip up Bella gave to how she was ever truly feeling. She would hold herself back, tie herself in knots. But too much frustration and it came flying out of her mouth. I needed that from her body too. For her to be completely relaxed around me.

The simple fact that she tried to hide her distress with me when I had been in the bedroom got to me. I couldn't open up my mouth and say how I truly felt if she couldn't even be comfortable around me, that she was even worried to wrap her arms around me.

Eventually we pulled up out side the police station. Riley went off of of his own accord, me telling him I would call him when I was ready. I didn't know where Charlie was, but he was no doubt out on call so I'd have to wait. I hadn't warned him I was coming down. I didn't want to leave him with worry until I had go here.

I had been right. He had been out on a call and I sat for almost an hour in the waiting room. The receptionist looked at me skeptically as I sat with some leaflet in my hand, trying to keep me distracted. I had said I was here under the guise of my own open case off assault. I didn't want to draw attention to myself in anyway.

The longer I waited though, the more nervous I was becoming. What if Bella was right? What if Charlie made her come home?

Eventually, Charlie walked in, crisp navy uniform, hat in hand and gun on the hip. He looked tired and worn out. He hadn't noticed me as he walked in. Deep in conversation with another office he made it to the front desk before the receptionist pointed my way.

There was a mixture of happiness and worry on his face. "Cullen," He called on me and motioned me to follow him with a jut of the head. He was way ahead of me but I knew the layout of the place well. I had visited him a few times over my own attack. The odd time I came in because of the simple fact I had just wanted to see Charlie and have someone to talk to. Jasper and Alice were always working, and if I wasn't following Bella, checking she was safe, I was alone and that was a lot of time to myself to think. Thinking had never done me much good.

Reaching his office, I walked in and closed the door behind me. Charlie sat back in his chair with a smile on his face. "Well look at you," the smile laced his voice.

I was looking a lot different from the last time we spoke. Gone was the black hoddie that sat up over my head and my scarf that covered my face. No thick beard or uneven haircut either.

My scars were visible, though the day old stubble had eased their prominence on my face.

I only shrugged as I took my seat. "You really do look good, son." He smiled at me, looking genuinely pleased.

"Your daughter likes to push." As means of an explanation to the change in me since the last time we had met. "Bella even cut my hair." I shrugged with a smile, knowing I couldn't go into full detail of that one with Charlie.

He nodded with a smile. "She does. Likes to order and boss people around too much. _Eat this, eat that. You can't wear that_." He mocked playfully. "It's like a vacation without her around." He smiled but you could see it wasn't genuine. All joking aside, he was clearly still very upset that his daughter wasn't with him.

"She's doing good, Charlie. It's been hard, but she's coping okay." I told him truthfully.

"That's good. I worry about her all the time. And it's not fair on you either. But she's safe at least." He sighed and the room turned quiet.

"Charlie," "Edward," we spoke at the same time.

I kept quiet, letting him go first. "Edward, I learned something the other night. I don't understand it, so I need you to explain to me." I swallowed thickly, worried what was going to come out of his mouth. "We did a raid on a spot used by the same gang that tried to take Bella." I nodded, understanding. Opening the file that sat on his desk, he pulled out a pile of pictures and began to lay them out in front of me. Picture by picture, all showing Bella. Out side her work, waiting on the bus, on the bus. All pictures held Bella as the main subject. The other subject, one circled off in red marker. In the distance, caught on the edges of the frames. Dark hooded top and scarf. A few of them with eyes focused on Bella. It was me. I was practically unrecognisable, but it was me. I knew that and Charlie knew that.

"You said it was coincidence, when you walked on them trying to take her." He stated the lie I knew that was coming out. I shifted in my seat knowing that this was never going to look good to him. "Coincidence that it was Bella. That you didn't know it was her until you saw her ID." I leaned forward and scrubbed at my face. "The photos are all dated. The dates that you are missing from the shots are nights that I was meeting with you. I double checked my diary." He held the black leather bound A5 diary up, showing he had evidence. I had told Bella the truth, I needed to be honest with Charlie too.

I nodded, "I know I lied. I never expected something like this to happen, Charlie. I saw the two of you one day out in the car. I was driving back form a hospital check up and I followed you home." His eyebrows raised to that statement. "I don't know why I did it. Jealousy or something stupid in my brain. You spoke of Bella so much... I only wanted to see... see that you treated her as good as you treated me. Maybe to prove to myself that fathers weren't all like my own." His moustache twitched and he still looked pissed. "Bella left shortly after you arrived. I followed her, curious to where she was going. You we're always complaining of her being out at night and worried in case anything happened to her. She went to work. I pulled up across from the coffee shop and waited. I thought I could wait until she finished and make sure she got home all right. I didn't have anything better to do with my time. I knew I couldn't tell you that she was safe, but I also knew that if I watched her, she wouldn't get hurt. I don't know what to tell you, Charlie. It seemed like a great idea at the time. In fact, it was. I was there when someone tried to abduct her. I was there. I kept her safe." I sighed and rubbed at my face. "I kept an eye to her, followed her home on the bus. She didn't even realize. I wasn't creeping her out. I didn't want her to become suspicious of me. I blended in with everyone else." I shrugged knowing I had done no harm to Bella. "You have been so good to me, Charlie. You have. I appreciate it. You visited me when I wouldn't talk to anyone. You put up with me, listened to me. You stayed with me in hospital when my own father walked out. I know you feel it's your job, but you know you have went out a lot further for me than you have ever needed too. Why couldn't I do the same for you? Bella is the one thing you have left, except your work. I know it would kill you if anything happened to her because you felt you weren't there for her. God, I know that feeling more than you realize." my tone lifting at the end.

He sighed. "So you did it only to watch over her and make sure she was safe?" I nodded. "So why did you lie when you said you had found her that night?"

"I was scared that I would get into trouble. I didn't want you to think I was stalking her. She was – is safe with me. You can trust me."

"You're an idiot," He grumbled below his breath,

"I know. I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry for Bella being safe. You worried me with your own fear. You would pick her up and drop her off if you could – I would have too if she knew who I was back then. She didn't though. So, I did the next best thing." I shrugged.

He still didn't look too impressed, but I was sure I was forgiven. "Well that nice red circle around you in all those pictures wasn't me. They were on them when we found it. It was up on a wall along with a profile from what the two goons had said you looked like. Height, weight, age. All wrong, but still close enough. They are looking for you too, Edward." _Christ._

I looked at him blankly. "Am in danger?" I asked a little worried.

"We don't know. It's almost impossible to tell its you in the pictures. Even harder that now you've seemed to grow about four inches taller, shaved and not hiding behind that hood any more." he told me a sharply.

"Hey. I was feeling kinda down." I tired to argue but I knew from his tone and the look on his face, that I was forgiven and he was being cheeky.

"I want you to keep out of Seattle. Stay out of sight with Bella until we get this sorted. We're getting closer though, Edward. We were close the other night on the raid, but we just missed them. There was warm coffee left sitting." he shook his head at the situation. I suppose it was lucky for me. Either that or Bella would be going back home.

"Charlie, I came here for a reason though." He looked at me worried.

"Is it Bella? Is she okay?" Panic washed over him.

"She's fine. She's tough." I licked my lips, my mouth turning dry at the prospects of telling Charlie this. "My dad came looking for me."

"Son, do your self some good and keep him out your life." he was quick to interrupt me.

"Please, wait. Give me a minute to speak. This involves Bella." he nodded and closed his mouth, waiting.

"Yesterday I was at the hospital. I had a check up. I fell ill and Bella made me go to the hospital the other week. I got the all clear yesterday. I had went on my own leaving Bella asleep. It was an early appointment. She was safer in the house, anyway." I could feel my throat close up and my voice grow horse as I spoke. "We'll I thought she would be. We've been living at my old family home in Forks. My dad showed up and Bella answered the door to him," I screwed my eyes closed, petrified of his reaction. "He attacked her." I finally let out.

"What do you mean attacked her?"

I opened my eyes to see a very dark look on his face. "He hit her." I swallowed. "Badly." I continued.

Tension shot though his features and I swear I thought he was going to hit me. "What happened?" He shouted.

"She said something to him that pissed him off and he... he- punched her." I cupped my mouth, refusing myself from saying any more as his face broke. His jaw was still tense, but his eyes clouded with tears that never fell.

I shook myself off, knowing I need to explain it all. "He threw her and she got a bash to the back of the head and then he kicked her, while she was on the floor." I covered my eyes and blinked my own tears away, remembering how frightened she had been. "I'm so so sorry, Charlie. I would give anything to take it back."

"How is she? Did you take her to a hospital?" his voice rough and desperate.

I shook my head. "No. She didn't want anything. I checked her over and I promise you, she is fine. Bruised, sore and shaken up, but she is okay. She is so tough, Charlie."

"Where is she now?" He asked, his voice a lot smaller.

"She really is safe this time. She's with my brother and his wife." He looked at me surprised. "We're trying to mend some things." I shrugged talking about my family. Charlie was well aware of that situation. "Bella has been encouraging that process. They had been in Forks when we showed up and then Bella called him when I was in hospital."

Charlie was quiet while he took it all in. "I think the day with Rosalie will help her. They get along pretty good for not really knowing one another." I shrugged.

"Where did he kick her?" He asked, his voice gruff.

"A few places. Legs, back... her ribs are a little tender when she tries to move. She thinks she's hiding it too." I shook my head knowing that I knew too much of Bella for her to hide those sorts of things from me. "I have photos." I reached for my phone. "I said that it was going to be reported. She said no." I passed it over to him and he began to slide through the photos on my i-phone. "But I knew you would take care of it." As much as Charlie was a good cop, I knew he had it in him to be the bad cop if it meant that he would take someone down that deserved it.

He nodded knowing, sliding the phone back to me. "Keep them." he ordered.

"If it makes you feel any better, I battered the shit out of him. He came back thinking that he had scared her enough that she would have left before I got back. I would have killed him if Bella hadn't been standing there. It made me feel good for a while. I only wish I could do more."

I rolled my head back, stretching out my spine in the process and sat back up again. "I found out this morning from Emmett that he battered our mom too. All these years I thought she left because she was selfish and it was because she was scared. I hate myself so much. For Bella and for my mom.

He shook his head. "It's not your fault. You were a kid with your mom and Bella... that was... that was bad timing. I can't expect you to be at her side every moment. I know she's safe... no one would have expected this."

"No one will ever get a chance to go near her again, Charlie. You have my word. She will be safe. If she's not by my side, she'll be with Emmett or Jasper. I have a driver and he's pretty sweet on Bella too. They all are. She wont be left for a moment." I promised him, sure of myself.

He hook his head. "Give yourself a break, Edward. How do you think I feel? I'm the chief and someone tried to take her. I'm glad you're so sure though and I know it wont happen, but don't blame yourself either." He sighed. "What about you being ill? You must have been pretty sick to get a check up at the hospital."

"I caught a lung infection as well as endocarditus. If it wasn't for Bella making me go, I'd probably be dead."

He leaned forward, placing his forearms on the table. "And you're fine now?" He checked.

"Fine." I promised. "Things had been a little difficult with Bella before then. She didn't appreciate being held up in some house, but after some fussing and fighting with me, we get along really good now. She's became really important to me." I tired to be sincere and I tried to be honest. I needed a feel of how Charlie would react if he knew that me and Bella's relationship had transpired into something a lot more deeper.

"Yeah, well I'm sure you both could do with a _friend_." I wasn't stupid to miss the emphasis he placed on the word friend.

"We could," I agreed. "But she means more to me than just a friend." This was the moment of truth. He was either going to pretend to be blasé about it or threaten to kill me. He would not be happy about it though. "I would do anything for her." I promised with why whole heart.

His jaw set tight and his eyes narrowed. "Edward, if you have any plans for my daughter, I suggest you lose them right now. You keep away from her, you hear me? She is too young for you to start with. I don't need her getting messed up by any ideas you might have either. You are still far to messed up to even think of a proper relationship. You are not going to break her heart because you think it might be some fun." This was pretty much everything I had been expecting. "She's too naive to be put into that situation. You can send her back home if this is what you're thinking."

"Chief, no. Don't do that. She is safe." I shouted back, frighted that he was going to take her away from me.

"It's chief, now, is it?" He asked smartly.

"It's... I've come to care about her – a lot. I'm sorry but it was the situation. Don't put her in danger over it. I only wanted to be honest with you."

He nodded. "Fine. You have been. You have been very clear, Edward. But I swear if I her heart is broken by you, I will come after you." _Fuck._ Why did I say a word?

"I won't. I promise. I won't go near her." I swallowed thickly, panic coursing through me.

"I think it's time you left. I have work to do." I nodded, standing up knowing I should move fast before he started taking shots at me. "Edward," He called on me, making me look at him. "Don't let me down."

"I won't. I promise." I lied knowing that I already had. With my head down, I swiftly left his office.

* * *

I felt a ton weight on my shoulders as I pulled up outside Emmetts.

How could I have been so stupid to think that Charlie would have allowed anything to happen between us. She was all he had. He wouldn't want someone like me coming near her. Especially someone like me. He had been right. I was still too messed up for a relationship. What did I have to offer, Bella. Money? That wasn't going to win her heart.

I let myself in, and was quick to find Emmett in the kitchen, cooking. "Look at you all domesticated." I joked as he jumped at the sound of my voice.

"Do you not believe in doorbells?" He huffed as he clutched his heart and continued to stir. "How did it go with the police guy?"

"The police guy?" I laughed. "You mean how did it go telling Bella's dad that she was beat up or do you mean how was it having the Chief of police tell me I need to hide because it seems that the lot that is out to get Bella have me spotted too. Or – better yet – How did it go telling a cop dad that I was interested in his daughter?"

"You didn't?" he rolled his eyes at me. "Why?"

I shrugged. "I was trying to be honest. I like the guy – a lot. He was there for me when nobody else was. Well except Jasper."

"We would have been there for you too." he mumbled lowly and I nodded, knowing I had been wrong.

"How did it go?" he asked curiously as he sprinkled seasoning into the pot.

"How do you think? I'm not to go near her. I'm such an Idiot." I collapsed against the island, taking a seat in one of the bar stools.

"Yes you are. Though, what happened to all this – _we can do what we want, it's only some fun_ – crap that you were doing?" he asked turning to me, taking his attention away from the pot and letting it simmer.

"We're still doing that. But I don't want to mess her around. I care for her. I really do. Yesterday showed me a lot."

He nodded. "What about the day before when you gave her mom's bracelet?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She told you about that?" I asked amazed.

"No. She mentioned it to Rose. Rose thinks you want to marry her now." I laughed at that one. Only Rosalie could take it to that level.

"I care about her and we were going through some stuff and I thought she deserved something nice. It's mine to give to who I want."

"Yeah," he agreed. "To give it to the person who you want to marry. Don't tell me you don't remember that you used to promise mom that you would give it to the girl you were going to marry? You might not remember the bad things from when we were young, but I know your sappy ass remembers that." I nodded knowing he was right.

"I guess I'm not so sappy now." I shrugged.

He laughed hard. "You just asked her dad if you could be with her? You can't get much more sappy than that. Carlisle took that out of you. Made you a little too sterile on the emotions front. You know, I'd never saw you take Tanya's hand, or even kiss her. I've never saw you show any kind of affection to anyone since we were young – except when you landed up in Forks hospital." he laughed and smiled brightly. "Man, you should have heard Rose, earlier. Apparently the sexual tension between you and Bella is still dripping from the celling in our bedroom."

I laughed. "That's nasty. You need to get a gag for your wife."

His laughing calmed down a little. "Think about it though. You gave her a bracelet that is close to all of our hearts and rare. Are you sure you only wanted to give it to her to be nice?"

I shook my head. "I don't want her to go home. I don't want her to leave me. I want what we have all the time. I've thought about being realistic with it. Bella going back to Seattle and school and myself getting a new job at some point. I have a home in Seattle. It's a big nice town house that I only just bought. I bought it for a new start. I thought we could go back to there." I shrugged feeling extremely childish. "But Bella isn't there. She's young and Charlie was right. She's too naïve. It's only going to break her heart in the end."

"What is? The relationship, you or the age difference – which isn't that bad?" His look was serious as he eyed me. "You can't protect her from hurt when you are putting yourself up for the same thing. It could go the other way, too. If you are looking for a bit fun and think she's going to get hurt, then walk away. But you're already there. You're in too deep now."

"Don't act like the hero because Charlie told you too. Be a dick and actually go after something because you want to. Because that _is_ going to hurt Bella, if you don't give her what you both want."

"But I don't want to upset Charlie." I bargained.

"Fine. Upset Bella instead, and yourself. Charlie is going to be pissed at whoever Bella brings home. You know Charlie though. He's trusting his daughter with you-"

"I'm not so sure on that one any more. I think it's just convenient now." I argued.

"Well whatever. That wasn't how it started. Show him he's wrong to question you. Yes you might be a bit messed up, but we all have our issues. I'm sure Bella has some things going on in her mind. Hell, the fact that your father beat the life out of her must be something that she works on. She either trusts you implicitly or she has some concerns over you."

I shook my head furiously, quite frankly a little pissed he was painting it like that. "No." I shouted. "She trusts me. She knows I would never touch her like that. She already told me that."

"Well why the hell are you even questioning any of this if you both have got over that after yesterday. Dude, don't listen to her father. He doesn't know shit. I know you trust him, but he's never going to trust some guy with his daughter if they have never proved themselves. You need to show him you're good enough for her. Prove it to him."

* * *

I didn't stay too long at Emmett and Rosalie's. We stayed for diner, and though Bella watched me like a hawk, It was a pleasurable night.

We reached home by about eight o'clock and we were quick to throw ourselves out in from of the television, on the deep couches in the den.

Bella threw her legs over mine and I pulled her into me, practically having her sit over my lap.

We hadn't spoke much of my trip to Seattle. She had asked how he took seeing the photographs and how he was, but she didn't ask any further questions. I didn't mention to her that it was possible that the group that had been after her, were after me too. She didn't need that worry or guilt.

With the buzz of the television, it seemed to bore Bella and she grew distracted. Her hands reached for my hair and was quickly followed by her lips on my jaw. My head rolled to the side, allowing her access and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of our heated exchange in the car earlier this morning. It took everything in me not to have her on my lap as Riley drove us to Port Angeles.

After speaking with Emmett, I was sure that I could never stop what was happening between Bella and I, though I did have reservations on the physical aspects of our relationships. If Charlie needed me to prove myself as someone decent, who was taking his daughters best interests to heart, I was sure that that didn't include sleeping with her.

I didn't want to take a step back, but I felt it was needed. I wasn't going to step away from Bella completely. We were close. We didn't need sex to provide that for us - as much as I hated to admit that.

Painfully, I pulled my neck away from Bella's lips. She looked at me confused a little. I swallowed knowing that she was probably going to react badly to my idea.

I took a deep breath and Bella's eyes looked deep into mine. "When I saw your dad earlier, I-I said I cared about you a lot." A small smile played her lips as I saw her blush. I scrubbed at my face with my hand and when I saw her face again, it had worry etched all over it. "He told me I was to keep away from you. That if I wasn't going to, I was to send you back home."

Her whole face crumbled, her eyes filled with tears that never fell. She pulled away from me, completely disconnecting herself from me. I reached for her and she battered my hand away instantly.

"Who-who gave you that right, Edward?" She snapped at me, her head turning to me and her eyes glaring. "Why did you say anything?" she snapped.

I shrugged. "I was trying to be honest. I wanted him to say it was all right."

"And he never? He told you to stay away from me?" I nodded and her eyes dropped to her knee. "Do you not think that should have been something you should have mentioned to me? I'm an adult, Edward. Do you really think my dad has any right over who I'm with?" I shook my head but she couldn't see me. She turned to me, snapping "Do you?" I shook my head again, answering her once more. "So why did you do it?"

I sat forward and reached for her, but she pulled away from me not wanting me to touch her. "I thought it was something I should do. I knew your dad before I knew you, Bella. I had to show him some respect. He deserved that."

She stood and glowered at me. "I deserve some respect too, Edward." Reaching for her hand she pulled away again. "I don't want you to speak to me for the rest of the night. Leave me alone, please." She turned on her heels and left the lounge, slamming the door behind her.

I knew Bella had asked for me to leave her alone for the rest of the evening, but after an hour of sitting in the same spot and going over things in my head, I realized I should have taken a different approach.

She was right, she was an adult and she must have felt like I was belittling her, speaking with her father without even mentioning it to her first.

I began looking for her and was quick to find her sitting in a low glow in my mothers room. She sat on the floor with her back to the side of the bed drinking out a low whisky glass with an open champagne bottle sitting next to her.

Her eyes raised up to me at the entrance of the door and she shook her head "Can never do a damn thing I ask." She muttered to herself taking a sip out of the glass.

She had been crying. Her cheeks once again tear streaked and flushed red. Her lashes black with the moisture.

"I'm sorry. I would have stayed away, but I think you are miss understanding me." I shrugged walking into the room and gently closing the door behind me. I sat down on the spot beside her and placed my hand on her knee. I wasn't stepping away from Bella, I was trying to get closer. Her gaze stayed on my hand before she took her glass and knocked it back. "Enjoying that?" I asked motioning to the bottle of champagne that was sitting on the floor.

She shrugged. "I wanted something fizzy."

I laughed at her blasé words and the fact that I really doubted that she knew what she was drinking. "That's a seven hundred dollar bottle, Bella."

Her head snapped from the bottle to me. "Oh," was all she let out, her mouth left in a little O shape in shock. "I-I'm sorry. I honestly didn't realize."

I shook her off. "Don't worry about it." I reached for the cork that sat off to the side and noticed the _E_ that had been marked into it. "Dom perignon. 82. Carlisle bought this the day I was born. Bella, you have excellent taste." I smiled at her and I loved how she was sipping on it, in tears, in a whisky glass. "Can I try some or have you drank it all?" I teased.

She chewed down on her lip as I picked up the bottle. She must have drank about three glasses out of the bottle. Brining it to my lips, I sipped it out the bottle enjoying the fizz on my tongue.

"You like it?" She asked.

I shook my head. "Not really. It's all right. I'm sure it's great in the world of champagne, but I'd much rather have the tequila we had." I winked at her.

"Edward, I don't mean to sound rude, but I just want to be alone." I had to work quick here. I didn't want an argument.

"I don't want to be alone, Bella. I need you to talk to me and I need you to be near me. I gave you an hour, I can't give you anymore." She sighed. "You think I'm trying to stop something from happening, but I'm not. I spoke to your dad hoping for permission that all of this was okay. He doesn't think it is, so we need to show him. Can't we just take one tiny little step back to show him some respect. I'm not telling you we can't be close, that you can't be in my bed."

"What are you telling me then, Edward? What does a step back mean?" She bit at me.

"It means no... you know..." I sighed. "We can't be intimate." She rolled her eyes at that and and let her glass fall to the floor.

"So you mean to tell me you think you can win over my dad by not sleeping with me – anymore?" She asked with her tone full of sass and a raised brow.

"We need to show him that this has some longevity. It can't be all lust and sex, Bella." Why didn't she see this. Surely she could see that I was only trying to make this connection stronger.

"What about living in the moment? Huh? What happened to that one?" She was pissed but she was still up for a decent fight on this one.

"I want more than living in the moment. I want to hold back and guarantee lots of moments with you." her face dropped in shock, her mouth hung wide open.

"Since when did you have this change of heart? We finish when I leave." she shouted, reminding me. But I didn't want it like that.

"Yesterday. When I would have happily have killed my own father for what he did to you." I shouted back, Bella jumping with fright at my tone.

Her eyes fell to the floor but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I reached for her hand and pulled myself closer to her.

"I love you." she whispered out. _What?_

She was wrong she didn't love me. How could she?

"You don't. It's the champagne talking and you haven't slept much." Her eyes snapped up to me, anger swarmed them.

"Don't tell me how I feel. You have no idea." She sighed and pulled her hand out of my grasp. "You're so masochistic. Why? Why do you want to pull me away from you? I love you."

"I can't say that, Bella. I can't say it back. I'm only trying to be respectful to your father. You know the man who saved my life? I'm trying not to shit all over the one chance I get to pay him back."

"Fuck Charlie. I'm the adult here. You already did good by getting me away from those guys. You paid him back." She fisted her hands, angered by the whole situation. She was fuming and I was, quite honestly, a little scared of the anger that radiated her. She had been drinking. She wasn't thinking clearly. "I don't care if you can't say it. I know you care. You are speaking of a future with the two of us. But I won't listen to you tell me we can't be together. That I can't make love to you because you are worried about Charlie. I will leave." The last three words were slow and deliberate.

"I won't let you leave." I argued.

"What are you going to do? Tie me to the bed?" She asked, fed up. "After yesterday, are you seriously saying that I don't deserve to be held close by you? That I can't be comforted by you?"

"I'm here for you. I am. But we don't need to be sleeping together."

"Yes we do. Because I want too. Not because my dad doesn't want us too. Do you know how humiliating it is for you to tell me how my sex life is going to be – from my father?" She shook her head and climbed up on to my lap. "The one thing I've had in my head all day is your smart assed comment about owning me last night. I've been day dreaming about your arms all over me. Holding me tight. Close to you. That's not fair to take that away from me. This is meant to be fun." She reached into my lips, kissing me. She was a little hesitant at first and I knew it was because she must have though that I would turn her down. I couldn't though. She was right. What say did Charlie have in any of this? Maybe he would hate me, but maybe it was worth the risk. I blocked him from my thought and pulled Bella closer to me, deepening the kiss.

She laughed a little as my desperation showed. I needed her so much. To have her back in my arms after being separated from her for most of today.

I let my hands fall into her hair and let my lips fall to her neck. She giggled at the sensation as she lolled her head back, my left arm rushing to secure her close to me.

Pulling back, she reached for the hem of her t-shirt and quickly lifted it up, over her head and tossing it to the side. The glow was warm on her skin but her her bruised ribs showed and I couldn't help the flare of anger that shot through me.

I had made every attempt to ignore them the night before, but now I couldn't. The were growing darker by the hour. The inhale and exhale on her ribs made it almost hypnotising. "Hey," She called to me, pulling my hand out her hair and bringing it to her face, kissing my fingers tenderly.

The look in her eyes seemed so real. Her words ran through my mind, mocking me. _I love you_. She couldn't do. I doubt that she knew what it truly meant. Love me for all my sins? I doubted it.

* * *

_**Please let me know what you think – Bella's pov is next chapter! **_


	18. Chapter 18

_**a/n: Okay, I really have to apologize for not getting back to the reviews. I know It's really bad! But I am going for my surgery! I'm in on Monday for it and I don't know how long I'll be in, but I won't have my laptop in with me. But As I promised, I have what is done of the chapter. It's only four pages and I'm sorry but I have been rushed off my feet getting organized. **_

_**Enjoy this and I'll see you all soon enough. **_

* * *

**The Difference between Us**

**BPOV**

Whisking the egg whites, I let the pan heat up. I was making breakfast for Edward. After last night's talking and the things that progressed from that, I was feeling a lot more positive about what was happening between us now.

He wanted long haul.

It still surprised me but he assured me that it was something he really wanted to try for and that was his reasons on asking my father. We still had a long way to go on a few issues, I knew that, but least I didn't feel like I my whole life was passing me buy. I was here, spending time with my boyfriend. Not some stranger who had happened to find me. This was real. Unfortunately, so was Edwards eating issues.

I wasn't going to go against him. I wasn't going to push. Edward was a structured guy, it was how he worked. This crazy situation had him changing habits, and I knew that that was good, but it was also putting strain on him too. I didn't want him panicking again and throwing up. I needed him comfortable with what he was eating, though encouraging him to relax on his habits enough to keep him comfortable with eating different foods also.

He sat awkwardly at the breakfast counter yesterday eating cereal. It's an issues when that happens. I knew it was only as difficult as it had been because of what had happened the night before and that with time it would go back to normal, his making him self sick forgotten. At least until the next time he found himself in a stressful situation or that he felt disgusted by himself. I was hoping breakfast his way and some gentle talking would be the first steps to him seeing someone.

Pouring the egg into the pan, I added a little olive oil and hoped that was how he liked it. I cut lots of fresh fruit also and had oatmeal at the ready, waiting to be bowled.

"Whatcha cooking?" Came a gruff voice from behind, startling me.

I turned to him and I couldn't help the smile on my face at him. He looked delicious. Screw the breakfast. He could eat me.

I blushed at my thought and was glad that I hadn't actually said that out aloud. "Breakfast." I composed myself, turning back to the pan and flipping it.

"Egg white omelet?" he asked resting his hands on my shoulders and peering over my head.

"Yep." I popped my p. "I thought I'd better feed you well after last night." I looked up to him with a smug grin. Yes I had won the war of sex. I wasn't having Edward and my dad discuss what I got up to. I was still mortified at that thought. He caved pretty quick actually. He dragged me off to our bedroom with the rest of the champagne and we sipped on it as we played on the sheets. "I don't want you collapsing on me later." I elbowed him playfully, handing him the omelet after plating it. "I have fruit and oatmeal too."

His brow rose at me as he cornered the island and took a seat. He never said a word but a knowing look flashed across his face. He knew I was worried and I didn't care. I reached the fridge and poured out some fresh orange out of a jug into a high ball glass and sat it before him before turning away and reaching for the coffee pot. I reached for the mugs I had already pull from the cupboards and filled them up and turning towards Edward. I slid his mug towards him, the look on his face now looking a little hostile.

"What are you doing?" He asked a little too sharply.

"Making breakfast." I shrugged my shoulders as I turned away from him and reached the pot of oatmeal. I poured a bowl of oatmeal for Edward and myself and sat down at the island next to Edward. "You know, I'm not a kid." his words still a little harsh.

I looked up at him, his stiff posture radiating his uneasiness at my actions. "I never said you were."

"So what's with this?" He motioned to the plate in front of him.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked. He nodded with a roll of the eyes. "Don't I make you breakfast often? Lunch, dinner?" His jaw set tight and he nodded. "What is the problem then?" I didn't really see what the issue was. I made him breakfast and it was what he liked or at least what he had ate in Seattle when we had been living in the town house.

"Nothing." he mumbled out lowly.

I tired not to focus on him too much when he ate and we were pretty silent as we continued on with breakfast.

* * *

When I woke up today, I felt myself in more pain than I had yesterday. It felt awkward to breathe but I tried to ignore it. I knew it meant I was healing, but I still couldn't help lift up my top and examine the even darker bruises. My face looked worse also, though my lip was a little better after vast amounts of lip balm.

Rinsing my hair in the shower I was abruptly interrupted as Edward opened the shower door and climbed in with me. I was startled and I covered myself with my hands, trying to hide my bruises.

He laughed at me "I've saw it all before." He raised his eyebrows playfully as he reached for my hand. "I hope you don't mind me in here with you." _Yes. I do_. It wasn't what I wanted him to see. With the exception of last night and when he examined me, I had been fairly careful of letting him see me. It was all dim lighting and well placed clothing and bedsheets.

He pulled my arms away from my body and I felt uncomfortable. I jerked back an arm and clasped it across my ribs. "I'm only looking to check you are okay. It's best to do this stuff on wet skin." He moved in closer to me and I felt his hand carefully trail across my back in calculated moves. It was sore, but not that sore.

Almost instantly, I let go of my nerves and discomfort. He was so caring. I let my arm drop and reached for his sides, pulling him into me, his hands stilling on my hips. His right hand continued across my abdomen and I tensed up from the pain as he pressed down over my bruises.

"You're fine." he told me softly as her placed his hand on my lower back and pulled me in towards him.

"I told you." I mumbled as I let my face rest against his chest.

"I only wanted to make sure. Some times there is no issues until a couple of days later. Your vital organs had been kicked."

I nodded knowing that it was a small price to pay for his mind to be settled. "But I'm fine. And you can drop your doctor act – unless you're practising your bedside manner." He laughed at my words as he pulled me away from him. "It's nice that you care, but perhaps you're being a little over cautious." I shrugged. "Maybe it's time to think about going back to work."

He froze at my words, His head dipped back below the spray. Slowly, he lifted his head back up to look at me. "I'm not a doctor any more." his words were a little pointed, but I knew I needed to encourage him to at least think about the outside world. He would have to visit it again sometime. He couldn't hide away forever. I wouldn't let him.

"Yes you are. You need to get back out there and save lives again." I told him.

He snorted. "Bella, I have never saved anyone in my life. I was a plastic surgeon. I gave girls bigger boobs."

"You saved my life." I shrugged closer towards him, edging back to the warm spray.

"I got you out a bad situation. Your dad would have come and saved you." He told me as he looked away. As if everything that had happened meant nothing.

"You don't know that, Edward. Nobody does." I wrapped my arms around him. "You have a job to do. You are a talented man. That would be a waste."

He sighed but only wrapped his arms around me. "You don't know what you're talking about. My practice – I own it with Carlisle. I'm never going back there. I'll sell my share. Then I have nowhere to go."

I couldn't tell him to keep his share. I didn't want that and I knew Edward held way to much resentment to be able to work with his father.

"You are a doctor though. You don't only give girls bigger boobs, you took care of me. You checked me over."

"That is standard practice on a lot of surgery. Check that the organs aren't ruptured. Some of those surgeries are tough. A metal rod being driven through a body repeatedly to suck away fat. Sometimes people hit the wrong things."

I shivered at the thought. That sounded brutal.

"You could go back and focus on a new speciality." I shrugged hopeful. I felt he had something to valuable to walk away from.

He laughed. "My new speciality is you." I let it go for the time being.

"Okay, Swan. Shower time has run out for you. You need to leave before I lose control." His smile was wide and he looked a little more relaxed.

"Can't I stay in with you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You can," He smirked. "But it might cost you."

* * *

**Sorry folks, that is all I have. I'll work on the rest once I'm on the road to recovery! **

**Thank you all for being so patient with me. I know it can't be easy, but you all have been great. **

**Thank you all so so much!**

**Fd**

**xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**The Difference Between Us**

_**A/n: Hum. Yeah. I know. Where Have I been? Well I had the worst recovery pretty much ever. I almost died too many times to count and, well, to be honest, I still haven't recovered and the doctors don't think I will. The surgery had more bad out comes than good really and I'm in and out of hospital a lot. Like a lot – I'm in hospital right now. I have some issues that keep arising and it makes it hard to focus on writing, and to be honest I think trying to get back to this after so long, was a challenge, but now I have the first chapter done, I'm praying it comes a little easier. This story is not finished. Not by a long shot. **_

_**I would love to give huge thanks to all the amazing folk who have sent love and messages of support to me. You have no idea how it felt to be reading those messages when I was still in ICU and struggling so bad. I love you guys. I honestly do. **_

**_Now I'll leave you to it, let you read, and please let me know what you thought. I personally don't think this is the best chapter, but I know much more exciting stuff is coming real soon._ **

With the flick of my wrist, the damp kitchen towel snapped across Bella's backside making her scream and causing her to promptly turn around towards me. She waved a large kitchen knife in her hand in my direction as I had distracted her from chopping up vegetables that she was preparing for diner.

"I swear, you do that again Edward Cullen and I'll be chopping off something else." The playful glimmer in her eyes and the small smile on her face wasn't much of a warning, but the idea of that knife anywhere near me was.

Sitting down the towel I went to her and placed my hand over her ass, trying to sooth the sting as she went back to the avocado she was cutting up.

It had been over a week since my father had been around and put his hands on her. She was tougher than she gave her self credit for. She got on with things. She was up, ordering me around, studying, cooking, cleaning... It was almost as if it never happened. Occasionally I would catch her looking deep into the mirror and the look on her face would devastate me. Of course I would tell her it would heal and that she was still as beautiful as ever. The truth of the matter though is, I didn't think that she ever truly believed me.

But she was still Bella. Still stubborn and still able to take herself from that day and be here with me all the rest of the time and I was happy, if she was happy.

Sweeping here hair back, I let my lips trail across her neck. She let out a giggle and shrugged her shoulders all the while trying to fight the stone out of the avocado.

"You're going to make me cut off my fingers." She chided me.

"Well put it down and come to bed with me. We can eat later." I let my hand roam from her hip, over her stomach and up to her breast, cupping the soft mound from over her top.

I felt her relax into me and I could tell she was weakening. But before I could pull her up stairs, my cell phone began to ring, snapping her back to reality.

"Who is it?" She asked as she pulled forward and away from my touch, returning her attention to the vegetables.

Emmett's name flashed across my phones screen and I swethered on whether I should answer it or not. All I wanted to do was to sneak into bed with Bella. But I knew I had to answer it. I didn't want to upset the balance that we had just already found.

"Emmett" I called, answering Bella and Emmett at the same time.

"Edward, it's Rosie. She's gone into labour." He panicked out. My attention was on him. "We're heading to the hospital right now. Mom is on her way from Seattle."

"We'll be there as soon as we can." I promised. There was no doubt or hesitation. Emmett called me during one of the biggest moments of his life. I wasn't going to shake it off and wait for him to call me back once it was over and done with. I was going to rush over there as fast as I could and start to build my life back around me.

Bella looked at me curiously, silently waiting as Emmett informed me that they were heading to Port Angeles Infirmary and who their doctor was. Without a goodbye, he hung up.

"Rosalie has went in to labour." I smiled at Bella. Her face lit up and she squealed before jumping up to me and wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me squarely on the lips.

"This is so exciting," she proclaimed as she let go of me and promptly began packing up the veg into plastic containers. "We'll grab some food there. I need to go get ready." She was already dressed and looking stunning so I didn't know what she was needing to be getting ready for.

I held her, stopping her from running up the stairs. "Shouldn't we eat before we leave? It's a long drive." Hospital food wasn't really floating my boat after being forced it only a couple of weeks ago. "Please don't make me eat hospital food again." I pouted.

"We can stop for food on the way." She promised.

Where though? Riley was still in Port Angeles. I told him he wasn't needed. We were going to have to get a cab there. I didn't have a car here.

"We're going to need to get a cab." I pointed out to her.

The look in her eyes changed as she thought about it. Then a small smile played on her lips. "We can take the car here."

What car? "What car?" I asked confused before the penny dropped. Ah. There was a car here. A very nice, shiny, expensive car.

"The Aston Martin?" I asked shocked at her suggestion. I didn't even know who the car belonged too. She nodded.

"We need a car and fast. Why not? It's not like anyone needs it right now." She shrugged.

"I don't know who's car that is, Bella. I can't just take it. For one, I'd really shit myself if I scratched it." I laughed.

"You won't scratch it. Or if you're too afraid to drive it, I will." her face practically split in two with the smile of that idea.

"No." I told her sharply.

"Aww. You're not one of those men are you. Women can't drive and all that."

I shook my head. "I'm sure you can drive fine. But I'm not letting you drive a car when we don't even know who it belongs too."

"We need to get to the hospital." She reminded me.

"We can get a cab." I reminded her.

"We need to stop for food on the way since you won't eat at the hospital." I sighed.

This was going round in circles. "Fine. I'll drive it though. I'm hoping it belongs to my mom and that she won't kill me."

Bella lit up and jumped on the spot a little looking a little triumphant.

The keys. I hadn't saw the keys to the car. Where were they?

"I don't know where the keys are."

She looked a little sheepish as she pointed behind me. "Middle drawer on the island. The one with all the junk in it."

I turned around looking at the closed drawer and turned back to Bella with a raised eyebrow.

"After last week, I went hunting for them. If I'm ever going to be in this house myself again, I need to know I can leave. I'm not being trapped here."

I nodded, understanding her. "Do you feel trapped?" I asked carefully.

She nodded. "A little. At times. Last week when I couldn't leave until you came back, that was a horrible feeling."

"You were trying to run away because of what Carlisle did to you. I'm glad you were stuck here." I told her honestly. "You are right though. You need to know that you can leave if anything like that were to happen again. Though it won't because because I'll always be here to make sure it doesn't. No one will get a chance to hurt you again."

She shrugged, ending the current topic of conversation. "So am I driving?"

Pulling up to the hospital, Bella knocked back her double shot cappuccino. "Finished." She proclaimed. "I'm ready for the night. I'm buzzing."

I shook my head at her excitement. "If you get tired, let me know. We can get a room at a hotel. There is one right along the street."

"Edward, I'll be fine. I'm twenty-two, not two." She reached for the handle of the car and I followed suit, cornering the car and taking her hand in mine. I'd never taken her hand. Not really, at least. I had done so to pull her along in my direction, but here, in the public eye... this was different. And a first for me.

We rushed in through the electronic doors and followed the signs for maternity. It was quiet. The waiting room empty with the exception of an older couple. I asked for Rosalie and they pointed us toward the seats, telling us they would let them know we were here.

We sat and waited.

"Eddie." Emmett's voice called out to me. I stood up instantly, turning in his direction. The smile on his face was huge and he practically skipped along the corridor. Meeting me, he crashed into me, hugging me tight. "I'm glad you came. It really does mean a lot that you're here." Bella smiled at us as she stood up. When Emmett broke away from me, he clamped himself down onto Bella. Bella being lifted off the floor in the process.

Placing Bella back down, he spoke. "Mom should be here in a little while. I'd like to stand here and chat, but Rosalie is almost ready for castrating me. I don't want to piss her off any more." he grinned.

I nod. "Of course. I'll be right here if you need anything." With that, he left us and we took our seats for the night ahead.

–

Bella's head rested on my chest as we sat slumped in a small settee in silence. I let my fingers run through her long dark hair and tried to stop myself from looking at the bruises that she still carried. I was feeling oddly nervous. I hadn't spoke to my mom since the whole incident had happened. Not even to let her know that, now, I understood why she left.

Too many feelings ran through me. My mind was in over drive and the only thing I could think about right now was that I hated myself for not going to see and speak to her as soon as I had found out. My concern had been Bella. I hadn't left her side. Not once, with the exception of speaking to her father. And Bella didn't need to be dragged through all of my family's problems when she had enough to deal with. And even more importantly, I couldn't risk taking her to the city.

"You've been quiet since we got here." Bella's hand rubbed along my thigh in a comforting way. No doubt trying to prise my thoughts out of my mind.

"I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"My mom. I haven't spoke to her after... after I found out." I couldn't say it out loud. I didn't want to. For my own sake and for Bella's. I hadn't spoke to my mom after Emmett had told me everything. I still hated myself for not knowing. Not seeing it. "I should have at least called her..." I sighed.

"She won't care, Edward. Once she sees my face, she'll know why you haven't." I cringed at the thought of my mom seeing Bella's face, black and blue, just like how hers would have been all those years ago. "She's your mom. The only thing she will care about now is that you're here. Could you have imagined all this happening before you were attacked? No. And I doubt she could have either. You're all together again and that is all she will ever care about. Not who was right or wrong or who knew what." Her head lifted up and she kissed my lips softly, pecking them before resting her head back on my chest.

"Edward," My mom's sweet voice called out to me, my head snapping to her instantly as she stopped on the spot. She wore a smile but it dropped as her eyes landed on Bella.

Bella stood up and I followed suit taking a step or two towards my mom. I felt Bella's hand rest on my back as I stopped and shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of my mother.

"Bella, sweetie. What happened?" My mom's tone a pitch or two higher than normal. She leaned to her left trying to angle herself so she could see Bella's face, Bella still trying to hide behind me. My mom looked hurt. Pain I her eyes.

"I didn't do anything wrong." Again, like I had told Emmett the day after it happened, I defended myself in sheer panic at that thought that I could have ever have done that to Bella.

She nodded, positive of herself. "When did he find you?" She was obviously well too aware of who was behind it. Carlisle.

"Last week." I croaked out. "I was out at check-up." I shrugged. I hadn't had felt as devastated since I had saw Bella after the incident. Being here with my mother, standing right in front of me and Bella behind me, supporting me, it was too much.

My mom reached forward, embracing me in one arm and reaching out to embrace Bella with the other. "This should have never of happened to you, Bella. None of this is your fault. It's mine." The certainty in my mom's voice was powerful. Looking at Bella, her eyes welled with unshed tears. She was trying to be strong.

I had to disagree thought. "Mom, none of this is your fault either."

Stepping back, she shook her head. "I should have reported him. I should have done something."

"Mom, I need to talk to you. In private." Her brows furrowed forward in confusion, but she nodded. Turning to Bella, I excused myself and kissed her on the temple. My mom and I walked along the corridor looking for a quiet spot. We found one quickly and sat down.

"I'm sorry." I whispered out.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked with more confusion across her face.

"Because I didn't know. I... I never knew what he did to you. I thought it was all you. He made me think there was another man. That we weren't good enough for you. That's the only reason I stayed with him. I found out last week." She looked shocked, her mouth hung open a little and her eyes wide.

"You didn't know? Until last week?" I nodded.

"I took Bella to Emmett's, where she would be safe. I had to go tell her father what had happened. When I went over and he saw what had happened Emmett guessed it was Carlisle... I never knew." My face fell into my hands and I scrubbed away at my eyes. Looking back up at her, a sad look played across her features, lips tightly lined. "Seeing Bella like that, it's hard. It made me so angry. When I got my hands on him I thought I was going to kill him. I wanted too. Then when I found out about you and that he covered it up blaming you. I hate myself so much. I hate him so much. I feel like my life is one big lie and the fact you two were hurt makes it... I don't know. I still want to kill him."

Her hand reached out for my face and her thumb traced along my cheek bone. "You won't. You know why? Because you are a decent man. And that look in your eye right now tells me that the only thing you really care about is how Bella feels, and she needs you. So you will be the bigger man, walk away from him and leave him to rot alone. Bella is far better for you than your father ever will be." I nodded.

"You are too." I squeaked out. "I'm going to do better. I'm going to prove to you that I'm not him. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

She shook her head as her hand slipped from my face to my hand. "You don't need to prove a thing to me, Edward. You are my son." She closed here eyes briefly for a moment. Her green eyes once again made contact with mine. "I will be honest, I was sceptical that you were able to treat Bella right. The way she deserves to be treated. I see the pain in your eyes and I wish I had someone who felt like that when I was hurt. You love her, don't you?" I nodded, yes.

"Does she know?" I shook my head answering her in silence once again.

"She told me she loves me though." I admitted.

"Why didn't you say it back?" She looked sorry for me as her hand reached for my hair stroking it.

"Because she deserves something better." I shamefully admitted. "I want this to last beyond being holed up in the house but I don't want to say those things for it not to work out in reality." I sniffed. "I want to keep her forever but at the same time, I know she could have an easier life with someone who isn't messed up or looks like how I do."

Her hand moved from my hair and pulled on my chin sharply. "Edward, sweetheart. Listen to me right now. Never in your life have you looked more beautiful than in this moment. You deserve her too. You deserve to be together, to be happy. Don't make my mistake. I knew I shouldn't have married your father. We weren't right together. He was a bad guy from the start and I was naïve. I thought marriage and babies would change him."

"I think we're a long way from that," I mumbled.

She laughed lightly "Yes. I'm sure you are. But don't think that you don't deserve it. If she makes you happy, why complicate it with second guessing yourself. After all, you are the reason that she's happy too."

"Her dad is going to kill me."

She shrugged her shoulder "He's her father. It's his job to scare the life out of you." she laughed again. "He's only looking out for her, like you would look out for her." I nodded.

Silence fell between us as we watched people walk by in the distance.

"Mom, Who does the Aston Martin belong too?"

–

"I can't believe she had a girl." Bella squeaked out as she collapsed onto the hotel bed. I didn't want to start off driving back to Forks in the middle of the night, only to drive back in the morning so I thought it was best to get a room. "She was so tiny. So beautiful. She looks so much like Rosalie." She continued as she kicked off her jacket and trainers.

"She's lucky she looks like Rosalie and not Emmett." I quipped in.

"Aww, Edward. I could have held her all night." She sighed as stretched out.

I laughed. "You sound like you want one of your own." Bella with a baby was a scary thought. Because if Bella were to have a baby right now, it would be mine and that was a thought that my mind would not process.

"Come on, she's cute in all her little baby ways, but I don't think it's enough to encourage me to have one of my own." She let out a little sharply.

"You don't want kids?" I asked surprised.

"Maybe one day. Right now? No." Pulling off her top, she smiled over at me. "I am, however, very interested in the mechanics of baby making. You know, you got a lot of training to do before you can run a marathon." She smiled widely and I had to laugh.

With her laying out on the bed in only her jeans and bra, I was drawn to her. My mind forcing my legs in her direction. I let my body crawl over hers as I felt something incredible pulse between us. "I hear practice makes perfect." I mumbled into her mouth before kissing her lips and letting my hand trail over her hip and towards the zip of her jeans.

We awkwardly shuffled out from our jeans, laughing. As soon as she was free of the denim she pushed me down onto the bed and straddled my waist, reaching down to kiss me. I was drowning in her hair, blinded by the brunette with only my hands to guide me around her curves.

Come morning, the bright day shone through the crack of the curtains. Sneaking out of bed, I left Bella sound asleep as I reached for the curtains, taking in the day. A warm glow shone through the streets but you could see the cold frost on the sidewalks. It was a perfect day for being bundled up and out side. I hated the fact that I couldn't wander the streets with Bella on my arm. I had to put her safety first. I felt it was a big enough gamble going to the hospital.

She came up behind me silently, startling me a little. I was entranced by the beautiful day and thoughts of the beauty who I had woke up beside. I knew now, and after last night that the only thing I was certain of now, that Bella was the only solid thing in my future. And I would fight everyone and anyone who got in my way of that.

"What are you day dreaming about?" She whispered out to me, her grip tightening around my waist.

"Thinking about how great life is."

_**Please leave a little love ;) **_

_**fd **_

_**xx**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/n; Sorry for the long UD. Not always able to write and it's slowing me down. I'll post when I can, thats all I can say, guys.. I'm sorry. **_

_**Read any good fics lately? Anything you want to recommend to me? Give me the name of the author and the title in my inbox, please.**_

* * *

Reaching out across the bed, I felt Edwards side empty. Again. This had been a current theme of late. Me, waking up to find myself alone. I didn't like it. Within a few moments though, he returned, opening the bedroom door carefully not to disturb me.

"Again?" I asked with a sigh as he nodded, closing the door behind him. " I don't like waking up all alone. A girl will get a complex if you keep that up. Loving and leaving me."

He laughed. "Really? We'll maybe next time I'll take you with me."

"Don't you dare threaten me." I snapped back, unable to hide my amusement. "I will not partake in this madness."

"It's called jogging." He looked at me with raised brows and a sweaty forehead. "It makes me feel good. Maybe you should try it. Apparently it can stop you from being crabby." He sat down on the bed next to me and reached in for a kiss. "But now that I'm back, maybe I can join you in bed."

I rose my brows to him "Your sweaty ass dose not come near me," In one quick motion he pulled off his top and the past couple of weeks were beginning to show on his definition. Not that it hadn't already been there. Looking at him I felt all blood rush away from my head to other places and I became hazy from looking at him. "So you can head straight for that shower right now and leave my bed covers clean."

"We'll that's no fun." He mumbled.

"Tough. Go. Now. Go, go." I ordered as I picked up his sweaty shirt and threw it towards the door. He stood up and standing in front of me, stripped off his sweat bottoms and boxers leaving him completely naked with a dirty smirk plastered across his face.

Oh my...

"Are you joining me?" He asked with a jut of the head.

I shook my head. "No. Go and have shower time all on your own. I'm going back to bed like any sane person would be doing at this time of morning." I flopped back into the mattress and let the covers hide my face.

"Bella, it's nine thirty in the morning." He let out flatly.

"_It's Saturday_." I muffled to him from below the duvet. "You know, we used to enjoy late lies until you decided to go all Usain Bolt on me." I could hear him chuckle on his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

It had been a little over two weeks since Rosalie had gave birth. Edwards relationship with his mom and Emmette only continued to flourish, much like our own had. When visiting to see Claire, the baby, any one who had asked who I was was given the pretty standard answer of_ "Edward's girlfriend". _I had to admit that I quite liked it when it spilled from someone else's lips so easily. It fell from Edward's lips pretty easily too.

The day after Rosalie had given birth, I had learned that the mystery car actually belonged to Esme's partner, Charles Evanson. Edward was still yet to meet him, though Charles and Esme had been engaged for several years. Esme kept pretty quiet on anything to do with Charles. I didn't know if she was afraid of upsetting Edward after everything had only settled down, but it was beginning to grate on Edward a little.

In bed, I rolled on my stomach and hugged into Edwards pillow, smelling his scent. I felt so at home here. So safe. Truly like I belonged by Edwards side.

The bathroom door opened and I heard his feet shuffle off of the carpet before I felt the duvet being lifted away from me, leaving me in one of Edwards t-shirts and my panties.

I felt the mattress slump down as Edward climbed on and crawled over to me before feeling a sharp sting on my ass as his hand came down on it and slapped it, hard.

"Oww" I complained. "What is it with you and my ass?" He had picked up a bit of a habit of doing this to me. Slapping my ass. It was never sore enough for me to think it was some hint of violence. He just seemed to be obsessed with slapping it, touching it, kissing it. Generally anything to do with my ass, in fact.

"Nothing. I just love your robust butt." He told me calmly before letting a finger pull down on the material of my underwear and pecking it with his lips.

"My robust what?" I asked in shock. " Are you implying I have a fat ass?" I asked sharply, but not even bothering to try and face him as it would interrupt his hands on my backside.

"It's not fat. It's perfect." This time it was his teeth that met with my gluteus maximums.

Jesus, this boy was all about the ass.

"Perfect?" I asked. I felt his hand slip back into the back of my underwear and his hand ghosted my backside before his fingers reached out further looking for my centre.

"Perfect." He confirmed in my ear. His warm breath hitting me like a wave.

He reached further and touched my centre, letting a finger slide in. "Does my ass slapping turn you on?" He asked with a light laugh.

_Like you have no idea._

I nodded silently into the pillow, swallowing hard and suddenly feeling extremely turned on.

He let a second finger slide in and my grip on the pillow tightened. "Fuck me," I spat into the pillow, unable to take much more of his slow teasing.

"Really?" He asked a little wary.

I lolled my head to the side, capturing as much air as I could. "God, Edward, you can have me any way right now. Just do something before I explode." And with that he laughed and had me.

* * *

Rushing around, we were running late. "What time did you say to them to arrive?" I asked as I patted down the seasoning on the pork tenderloin, preparing it for the oven and the arrival of Esme, Emmette, Rose and baby Claire. Esme was also bringing along her partner, Charles.

"Two thirty," He called back as he chopped through a series of potatoes and vegetables. "How is the cake?" He asked, motioning to the over.

"Shit." I called, leaving the pork and quickly, without care, reaching for a dish cloth to protect my hands on so to pull the sponge out of the oven. It was fine. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't burnt either. I quickly placed the pork into the oven, letting it begin to cook. It should still be ready on time.

"So do you mind Charles coming over?" I asked Edward. He hadn't said much on the topic at all and he had known for two weeks.

"No. Not at all." He shrugged. "I mean, Emmett thinks that he's a stand up guy and he treats my mom right. I'm happy for her. I don't want any drama again. Besides, I think she deserves to be happy, don't you?" He picked up the vegetable scraps as he spoke.

"Yes. Of course she does. But you've never met him, they're engaged and it's all new to you still." I reasoned that it could still feel a bit of a shock to him, to find out he had an impending step-father.

"Who's fault is that, Bella?" He turned to me, meeting my eyes. "If she's happy, I'm happy. It's not as if I ever had some notion that my parents would ever get back together, and knowing what I do now, I never want her to have to see my father again. I'm a big boy. I can handle it." He smiled. "She gets to be happy."

"Okay. If you say so." Maybe he really was accepting of it. All I knew that if it had been Charlie, I think I would have been a little more than on edge.

Turning to leave, I called to him. "I'm off to tidy myself up a little." I smiled. He nodded as he continued to finish tidying up the little odds around the kitchen.

Making my way to our bedroom, I sifted thought my clothes in the wardrobe. Alice had been up once again with Jasper and had brought me a few more little tops, boots and what not. Apparently I needed to be ready for the winter. I wasn't complaining. Alice had seemed to manage to tailor to my taste.

I changed into a well fitting pair of skinny jeans that I knew Edward loved and placed on a low cut top, pairing it with a nice slouchy cardigan. I threw on my flat leather boots, fed up of wearing the same old converse day after day. Edwards wolf whistle at the door was what startled me into realizing he was standing there.

"The converse are cute, but those boots with the jeans... You're killing me. All I want to do is take them off." I laughed at him as he took a seat on the bed. This is what it had been like for the past fortnight. It was like we had turned into teenage honeymooning rabbits. Days we didn't leave the house were days we didn't dress. Nothing seemed so light before. Not in my life, not time spent with Edward. Nothing. The past two weeks were like we were floating in the clouds. Even the arguments we funny. Insignificant fallouts about what setting to put the washing machine that lasted seconds before he sat me on top of the dam thing on fast spin. What happens in the laundry room, stays in the laundry room. That's all I'm saying.

"Do I look decent?" I asked, nervous piquing in me.

"Decent?" He smiled. "You look beautiful." He stretched out his hand to me and I took it, letting him pull me in towards him and sitting on his knee. He kissed me sweetly on the lips before looking deep into my eyes. "Do you know how happy you make me?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Do you know how much I love you?" I asked back. At my words he tensed a little. A small intake of air into his lungs and he looked away from me. I still couldn't help tell him exactly how I felt. He always struggled with that, but never enough to push me away. His eyes met mine once again, a small smile gracing his face, accepting my words before he reached into kiss me gently once again.

I wasn't going to be afraid to voice my thoughts to him. I never would be. That's what made it so easy to tell him, despite knowing that I was never going to hear the words back. Not any time soon at least.

Right then the door bell rang.

"Oh Christ, they're early." He muttered. He really wasn't phased though.

"I'll go let them in." I said, making my way on to my feet, Edward standing with me.

"No, no. I'll answer the door - in case it's not them." In case it was his father. Which I very seriously doubted.

"It's fine. I'll get it. I'll shout you if there are any problems. You get ready." There was a moment of thought in his eyes, indecision. Eventually he nodded before pulling me into him and kissing me deeply with his hands gripping on to my waist.

After our heated moment I laughed lightly at his actions. "I love you, too." I teased him, knowing the words he wasn't saying, but his actions proving everything. He only laughed and rolled his ayes at me as I left him to get ready.

Rushing down the stairs, I swung the front door open, knowing that I had let them wait a moment too long at the front door. It was freezing outside. Emmett stood with Rosalie, holding baby Claire in her arms, sound asleep.

"Sorry we're early, I thought we would travel through while she was sleeping." She motioned to Claire.

"It's fine. You know you can come whenever." I said while motioning them in and closing the door off to the cold day outside.

Emmett sat down Claires bag and her car seat before stripping his jacket off and I was only to happy to take Claire from Rosalie while she removed her coat.

I held her in close to me, her baby scent filling my senses. I had to admit, I was more than a little addicted to this little girl. She was beautiful.

We made our way to the kitchen and I let Rosalie pour drinks as I cooed over Claire. Rosalie was happy to take over hostess duties as I got my cuddles in. We made our way to the lounge and chatted in the soft seats before Edward joined us, him promptly stealing Claire away from me. I pouted and he pecked my lips while his grip secured his niece into his arms.

He stood with such ease, holding her. Never unsure or uncomfortable. His thumb of his right hand ghosted her cheek and her forehead several times, placing the odd tiny kiss on her at the same time. He was in awe of her.

Picking up my wine glass, I headed back to the kitchen to check on the pork as I once again heard the door bell ring. I knew it was Esme and Charles and I heard Edward head off to answer it, taking the baby with him.

The pork never had long to go so I began cooking the rest of the food up in preparation.

"He's not here." Edward spoke behind me, frightening me at his presence. That boy had a habit of sneaking up on people.

"Who?" I asked. "Charles?" I clarified.

He nodded. "Yeah. What guy does that?" He snapped a little.

"Relax," I told him, reaching for his shoulder to try and calm him down a little. "Why isn't he here?" Maybe something important had came up.

He sighed as he reached for my hand that rested on his shoulder. "Mom said that something important came up." He shrugged.

Like I thought. But why was Edward so bitter about it? "So what's with the attitude?"

"What's more important than meeting your partners family?" He dropped my hand and pulled away from me, resting himself against the island. "I suppose I'm just worried that he's like my father. I wanted to sense him out, you know." I nodded going to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Ever thought that something really important did come up and he's feeling just as bad? Emmett says he's a good man. Trust that until you meet him." He nodded a little before letting his eyes drop down between us.

"Fine," he mumbled as he let his face fall into the nook of my neck.

I pulled away even though I didn't want too. "Pour your mother a glass of wine." I ordered as I went back to the pots to check the cooking.

"Do you need any help, Bella." Esme called to me from the kitchen door.

"Hi, Esme. No I'm fine. Don't worry about a thing." I promised to her as Edward handed her the glass of wine.

"I was wondering if it would be all right with you two that I stay the night?" Esme asked, carefully. Of course, Edward was already worried so his eyes looked straight to me. "I mean, I thought I could enjoy some time up here before I need to be back home tomorrow evening."

"Is there something you're not telling me, mom?" Edward jumped, his words a little harsh.

"Sorry?" Esme asked confused.

"Don't worry. Edward is only worried since Charles never came today." I tried to make her a little aware that Edward was only concerned about her.

"Have the two of you fallen out?" Edward asked a little more carefully.

Realization appeared on Esmes face and she smiled and let out a little laugh. "No. Nothing like that." She shook her head with a wide smile and reached in to hug Edward. "His daughter fell ill last night. Crohns disease. He flew out to see her this morning. She was admitted to hospital so he'll be out of town for a few days. I thought I'd make the best of a bad situation since I would be myself this weekend. There really is nothing to be concerned about, but thank you."

Tension visibly left Edward. "Is she okay?" he asked genuinely concerned.

Esme nodded. "She will be. One of those things. Irina, she's at college at UCLA. He worries an awful lot since she's not around."

"So I'll have a step sister?" He asked a little shell shocked.

"Two." Esme corrected. "Irina and Kate. Both beautiful and clever girls. A lot like my beautiful and clever boys. Kate is at Stanford. Both only a year behind you, Bella."

That was a lot of information to take. Even for me.

I looked at Edward and he seemed genuinely happy at the thought of sisters. Or maybe it was the thought of two beautiful girls.

The mention of two other women coming into Edwards life and I assume that he would find them more interesting than me. It said a lot about me. Or more importantly, what I thought about Edward.

* * *

"It's like an Aladdins cave of fashion." I laughed talking about Esmes well organised room of all the clothes she had kept in storage. "I tried on those white platform boots a couple of weeks ago and almost killed myself." I shamefully admitted while everyone laughed at me. It was pretty funny.

"I was wearing those boots the day I met your father." Esme laughed." "I looked hot that day."

The mention of Carlisle though, slowed down Edward and Emmett. Both looked uncomfortable.

"Can we please not mention him." Edward mumbled looking completely disgruntled.

"Whatever we think of him, it doesn't change a thing. He gave me the two best things in my life. I'm not going to pretend that he didn't."

"And I almost murdered him for what he done to Bella." Edward mumbled before filling his mouth with a piece of pork.

Esme looked at me, concern in her eyes. I shook her off and turned my eyes to Edward. The table had turned deathly silent.

"That may be, but I used to look at him, how you look at Bella. We had good times. I'm not pretending we didn't because you don't want to hear it. I'm sorry if that hurts you."

"Well what about how Bella feels? He hit her. You of all people should understand that." He spat.

"Son, please don't turn this into something it's not. I mention him by a slip of the tongue. But I shouldn't be spoke to like that for doing so. I'm sorry, Bella."

"He tried to steal your bracelet too. You want to talk about some abusing bastard and a thief, go ahead. But you can do it without me here." he shouted.

Esme filched at his tone, I was a little more use to it. The first couple of weeks we were lived together it was pretty much all I got from him.

He stood and I grabbed hold of his hand, my eyes pleading for him to stay.

"I'm going to check on the baby." He promised me. I let go of his hand and watched him leave the room.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I never meant for that to happen. That was stupid of me. Of course he's still going to be hurt. You must be too."

"Mom, don't tear yourself up about it." Emmett called to her. "You talk about him, you always have. Give him some time." Esme nodded.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I feel like I've ruined everything. We were having such a nice day. I guess I've healed and moved on and now it's time for you and Edward to start that process."

"_Hey baby girl. You're awake. Look at you, full of sleepy yawns." _Edward voice buzzed across the baby monitor that sat off to the side.

Rosalie smiled. "I'm worried that man might steal my baby."

We could hear his shuffles across the monitor then sounds from Claire. _"You know, I think you might beat Bella at giving the best hugs. Yes I do."_ I laughed and the three of them looked at me thoroughly amused.

"Is he aware that monitor is on?" I asked carefully. Everyone just shrugged.

I tried to contain my laugh.

"_I think I'll hide out here with you for a bit, if you don't mind? Sometimes it's good just to be a kid again."_ Edward continued to speak to the baby.

"Should we turn it off?" I asked a little worried at what exactly Edward might say.

"No!" Rosalie quickly answered. "This is too good."

"_You're a pretty lucky kid... You have got a great mom and dad... Your childhood isn't going to be messed up with lies and someone coming down on you so hard that you think you might break."_ A lump in my throat formed and I could feel my eyes glaze over.

"We should turn this off." I snapped.

"No. I need to hear this, Bella." The look in Esmes eyes told me not to mess with her.

"_Your mom will spoil you rotten, and your daddy even more so. It won't matter if you don't do great at school either. They'll still love you."_ he laughed lightly. _"I'm not saying they're going to buy you a pony or anything, but they will give you lots of love. Emmett knows what not to do. He'll keep you right. He kept me right for a while... Hell, I bet Rosalie will buy you your first cocktail when your twenty-one. That's if she's not slipping you them before then."_

The memory of my birthday came flooding back to me. The night we got drunk and Edward told me so many stories of his fathers control. The way he spoke to him when he had been sick on his own twenty-first birthday and how he hadn't drank since. The pressures of food. How Carlisle walked away from him when he had been attacked.

Looking at his empty place and his almost finished plate and empty wine glass I realized just how far he had come along.

The day I was attacked and the same night that Edward had beaten Carlisle I realized that he didn't do it only for me, but for himself too. I had told him that. So why only a month later was he to be expected to put up with fond memories about him. Esme was right, she had healed, but Edward had only started. He had a long way to go. He had came so far. He deserved this break. But Esme wasn't there and I don't think she truly realized the control Carlisle had forced upon Edward.

I let the tears fall from my eyes as I got up and walk to the baby monitor and turned it off. No one argued. They had heard some of the truth and it was more than enough for them.

Maybe all Edward needed was to talk to someone who wouldn't talk back.

* * *

"You think I was too harsh on him, don't you?" Esme asked, making her way in to the kitchen. It was only me who was here, filling up the dishwasher.

I shrugged.

"Please tell me the truth. I need to know. The things he said... the tone in his voice. Bella, tell me. I'll know your right."

I straightened myself up. "I think you were too harsh. I understand how you feel and your thoughts on that, I do. Edward though... He's been through so much. Much more than I think any of you realize. Honestly, if he never thinks of his dad in a good light again, I think that's fair. The same way that I accept that you still hold onto a few good memories. Carlisle gave you something good. You're world would be a lot different without him. Would it be better or worse – I don't know. But you wouldn't have Edward and Emmett. If Edward didn't have Carlisle in his life, I honestly believe it could only be better."

She nodded accepting my words. "Thank you." She sighed aloud. "I guess he's just a little hot headed when it comes to Carlisle still and will be for a while."

I shook my head. "No." I said. "Not hot headed. Just sensitive." A small knowing look claimed her face and with that, she left the kitchen.

A moment later, I was joined by Rosalie. "Emmett is looking for more beer." She commented as she sat down his last empty bottle and her empty glass. She went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle and taking out a can of coke. "Are you all right?" She asked carefully as she poured the coke out into her glass. I nodded silently. "Esme is off to apologizes to Edward. She's feeling kinda bad, now."

She cornered the island and made her way to me, placing her arm over my shoulder. "They'll work it out. Don't worry." She promised. "They'll kiss and make up soon and it will be forgotten about.

I took a moment briefly before I began my next words. "So what about these step-sisters?" I tried to remain casual.

"Irina and Kate?" She asked a little surprised. "I suppose I kinda have to be honest. They are smoking hot. I swear they should be supermodels."

Could this be any more worse?

"You think Edward will like them?"

"Sure. Emmett gets on well with them. But I'm guessing your asking from between the lines." She pondered a moment before speaking again. "They are going to be family. Any guy would drool over them, sure. But Edward is with you. That isn't going to change for some hot blonde." Her other arm linked around me, embracing me in a sideways hug. "You're his girl. If you can't see what he would do for you then you need to open your eyes a little wider." She pulled away from me, walking towards the door before looking back. "It's you he wants."

* * *

Rosalie was right. Edward and Esme kiss and made up. Not long after, the two returned with Claire and you would think nothing had happened that afternoon. I was glad Edward could see past the fall out and get back to what really mattered. I knew he was trying for all of us, not just himself. He wouldn't want this to be awkward.

Emmett sat on the floor, contently feeding his new baby as the rest of us watched on and chatted. Rosalie and Emmett seemed to have clicked into the whole parenting thing rather well, to be honest. I wondered if it was natural, or that they were just lucky.

After Claire settled, we sat down with coffee and cake, once again the house filled with a happy buzz. Claire soon began to cry again, this time looking for a diaper change and I was happy to take charge. It was a day for Rosalie and Emmett to relax. I could handle this.

"Thank you, Bella." Rosalie smiled with a giant smile as she relaxed back down into the plush of the couch next to Esme.

I nodded, holding the baby close to me and turning for the door to the room where I would find her things.

"I'll help you." Edward called to me, swiftly meeting me as I stood in the arch of the door.

He followed my leave, placing his hand on my waist as we made our way through to the lounge with the white sofas. There was an abundance of baby thing everywhere. He knelt down onto his knees, lining up the things I would need as I carefully found my way to the floor with Claire in my hands, placing her out on the make shift diaper changer that attached to her travel bag.

"You know how to do this?" He asked with a smirk on his lips.

"Yes." I informed him. "How do you think I paid for college? I had to change a lot of diapers to get me that degree."

"You babysat?" He asked a little surprised.

"I did. Many, many babies." Claire waved her hand around her, making me pay my attention to her once again.

"Have you changed a nappy, before?" I asked a little curious. He shyly shook his head and I was sure he even blushed a little. "Not one?" I asked genuinely shocked.

"A woman's thing, is that it?" I asked almost teasing, but I would be a little put off if that was his genuine thoughts on the matter.

He shook his head. "No. Of course not. This is the first baby I've really known. I mean, up until Claire, I don't think I even held a baby."

I laughed "Really?"

He nodded with a blush.

"But you were so good with her – are so good with her. You never seem nervous or scared."

He shrugged. "Maybe it's the surgeon mentality. I know I'm careful with her. Gentle. But I'm not afraid of her."

"Okay then. It's decided. You're in charge of this diaper." I smiled.

"What?" He asked stunned.

"You heard me. Move." I slid out from my spot on the floor and patted the carpet for Edward. He moved straight away, quickly blowing gently on Claries belly, causing her to make little sounds.

"First you need to open it up," I directed, Edward willing to do the job.

* * *

Esme had left us to it in the living room, to tired to stay up much longer. It was a late night. Rosalie was exhausted, but she was letting Edward and Emmett finish off their chess game. It had been dragging out for over an hour though and I was beginning to grow more than a little tired myself.

"It's so good to see them like this." Rosalie commented on the two men sitting on the floor with the chess set sitting on a little table. "I never thought it would be this easy. Not the two of them doing this, at this time of night." She laughed a little. "I'm really glad that this afternoons argument didn't ruin the day... Esme was touched with what you said, you know." I looked at her, curious to what part Esme found touching. I was only being honest. "You're right. He is sensitive. I'm glad he's out of the city and with you while he works through things." My eyes fell, worried that Edward would here. I didn't want him to be upset with the two for us talking about him, with him so close.

"Emmett, will you take your wife and baby home. It's late. They both need to sleep." Edward looked across at Rosalie before looking at Emmett again.

"Dude, that's only because I'm beating your ass." Emmett retorted back.

"Home sounds good. I've had a great day, but I'm so tired." Rosalie reached for her bag and made to stand up. "I'll get Claire and her bag."

Moments later it was Edward and I who were left. We made our way to the kitchen, picking up dirty dishes and sorting the mess.

"Can you deal with this yourself?" I asked knowing I needed away for a moment. "I need to check off some stuff for my next paper. I need to check my emails." He nodded and I turned, quickly making my way to the study.

As soon as the door closed, tears fell from my face. I wasn't sure what had caused it. I knew why I was crying, but I didn't know why I felt so strongly about it all of a sudden. I missed my family. Charlie, Jake and and Billy. The day with Edward and his family made me realize just how much I missed my own family.

Sitting down in the chair, I pulled at a tissue from the box and wiped away my tears. I needed to pull myself together before Edward found me. He would only worry and I knew that there wasn't anything he could do. I was going to have to wait it out. Just like Charlie had told me.

It had been so long though. I loved being with Edward, but I missed my life.

Moments later Edward walked in, startling me. He closed the door behind him with a furrowed brow and eyes full of concern. He walked over to me before kneeling down and looking up to me.

"What's the matter?" He asked, reaching for my face and wiping away a stray tear that I had yet to wipe away.

I shook my head, feeling silly by my state. "It doesn't matter."

"It does." He claimed. "When you get yourself worked up like this, it matters." I didn't answer him.

"Did someone say something? Rosalie?" He asked with an edge to his voice.

"No." I cried. "Nothing. This is me, being silly."

He still wasn't convinced. "You need to tell me what this is about right now, Bella." There was concern still there but I could see him growing short.

I hesitated a moment, afraid of the words. Concerned that Edward would feel that he wasn't good enough at keeping me happy.

His eyes were pleading. Silently asking me once again.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I miss Charlie." I admitted. "I know it sound childish, but being here with you and your family... it made me realised how much I missed my own."

"And you couldn't tell me that, why?" He looked a little rejected.

"I didn't want you to feel bad or guilty." He nodded, understanding.

"If you feel like this, you need to tell me. Remember it's only us. We need to do everything to help each other out."

"And exactly what are you supposed to do to help me out?" It wasn't a crazy question. What power did he have?

He stood up and pulled his iphone from his back pocket. "I have contacts," He winked at me with a small smile gracing his lips. He messed around with his phone for a moment before handing it to me. "Speak to him."

Was he for real? We weren't supposed to get in contact with Charlie. Not like this.

"We can't." I argued.

"No, you can. And you really need too. He won't care, not if it's doing this to you." I looked at him, unsure. "Call him. Take as long as you need. I'll be waiting in bed for you." He turned and left the study, the door closing quietly behind him. I looked at the phone once again before hitting the call button on the "Chief's" name.

* * *

After my call to Charlie, I wiped at my face trying to show a more stable front for Edward. Making my way back to our room, I began to strip off my clothes. I stripped down to nothing and climbed into the bed covers, searching out Edwards body heat. He had been asleep but my shifting in the bed had woke him up.

His bedside lamp turned on and I squinted having already became use to the dark. He squinted as he pulled on my chin, assessing my face. He didn't ask any questions. He only kissed me chastely on the lips before turning away from me and back again.

This time he reached for my wrist. "Earlier I told my mom about the bracelet. She questioned me about it after we fell out and she came to talk to me. She said I was to give it back to you, make you wear it – accept it."

He clasped the beautiful antique around my wrist. I didn't want to argue with him, not when Esme seemed so insistent upon it.

"It belongs to you now." he clarified, looking me straight in the eye. "Don't get mad. Don't worry about losing it... just wear it. A gift from me." I felt like I was missing something but I didn't say a word.

He let go of my wrist and reached for my waist, kissing me deeply. He was wearing his boxers with a t-shirt and I felt oddly comfortable in my nakedness. The warmth of the material pushed against my bare chest and it felt so right.

He reached for the lamp, turning it off. We made our way below the duvet, Edward spooning behind me. I felt so secure, so loved. Edwards hand gently grasped my wrist, the gorgeous bracelet sitting millimetres away from his touch.

_**Please leave a little love ;)**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/n: Yes, I'm back. So soon! Get me!**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

"You're up early." Esme's voice called to me as she walked into the kitchen, joining me.

I nodded. "Edward woke me up when he left for his run." It was eight thirty in the morning and after my late night last night, I was onto my second cup of coffee.

She took a seat next to me, picking up one of the mugs I had sat out on the island and began to fill it full of coffee before adding milk. "Did Emmett and Rose leave late?"

"Pretty late. Must have been close to one this morning." I said, knocking back more of by black coffee.

"You should have stayed in bed. Tried to fall back asleep." I shook her off.

"No. I would much rather talk to you." I smiled to her.

"Am I in trouble?" She laughed.

"No. Of course not. I'm fed up with Edward. I need more friends." I joked.

"I can understand that one. It must be hard to spend all this time together. I know that you are happy to be together and you're in that first flush of love, but still... It must be pretty wearing."

"A little, at times." It was true. We coped well because I took time to stay away and study. "My work helps keep a little bit of a schedule." I sighed. "It's not so much seeing Edward all the time, it's not seeing my family at all."

"Now that is hard." She agreed. "I missed my boys so much when they lived with their father." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry. I'm talking about him again. That's not fair to you."

I shook my head. "I don't have a problem with it. It's Edward who does."

"I'm use to sometimes speaking about him. Emmett never says anything, even though he doesn't really like it. He was ten years of my life. I can't pretend it never happened." She shrugged, sipping on her coffee. I nodded, understanding. I wished at times I could talk about my mom with Charlie, but I knew it caused him a lot of pain, so I didn't.

"Do you think you will get to go home soon?" she asked carefully.

"I don't know. I spoke to my dad last night and he said hopefully soon." Although I might get home, I couldn't seem to hide the fact I felt a little disappointed. I wanted home, so why did if make me feel so sick to leave here.

"And you look miserable at the though of leaving Edward, yes?" Clearly it was showing. I nodded. "He'll go back to the city. That's where he lives. He's only here because of you, to keep you safe. You won't be far from one another." I shrugged feeling my eyes well.

"I've got nothing to give him, Esme. Look at me. The only reason he looks at me is because I'm the only girl around him." I felt so pathetic, but really, what did I have to offer him.

"Isabella Swan. Never in my whole life have I wanted to shake someone as much as I do you, right now. You make him happy. You are there for him, like he has been there for you. It wasn't so long ago, that it was you telling _me _to give him the benefit of the doubt. What's changed?" She sighed, reaching for my hand.

What had changed? Nothing had. It was always the same gut feeling that he was going to leave me. I knew he had changed, like I had told Esme, but I also knew in my heart that he was one day going to vanish from my life. It wasn't because he was a bad person, it was because he couldn't feel what I felt.

Esme's hand rubbed gently at mine, trying to sooth me. "In the real world, this isn't going to be enough." I admitted.

"Enough for who? Because it seems like my son is pretty dedicated to you. Maybe it's you who isn't ready." What? I looked at her shocked.

"I love him." I painfully admitted.

"I know you do. And Edward loves you too." No he didn't. Not really. Not like how I loved him.

"I've told him I love him." I wanted the world to swallow me whole. Why did I have to get into this with Esme.

"I know you have. Edward told me. You know what he also told me, that he didn't say it back because he thought you deserved something better. He wants you but he's afraid that back in the city he won't be good enough for _you_." She grabbed my wrist, pulling it up between the two of us. "Why do you think he gave you this?" I looked at the antique bracelet that I wore. Edward had placed it there, not once, but twice. He was determined that I wear it. "He might not say it, but read between the lines, Bella." She let go of my hand, pulling on my sleeve. "Edwards clothes," She indicated to the hoodie and the sweats I wore that belonged to him. She couldn't tell that I wore his boxers too. "You wrap yourself up in his things, accept the gifts he gives you and all that he does for you, but you still don't think you're good enough for him. Bella, sweetie... you're the only thing in his world." Was I? It looked like he would be just fine if I wasn't here.

"I think he would survive just fine." I swallowed deep at that thought, knowing I would fall apart.

"If that's what you think. But he's put a lot of time and effort in with you. A lot of love – even if he hasn't actually said the words. His father left him, his bitch of an ex-girlfriend... He opened himself up to you when he was at his most vulnerable. If you walk away from him, maybe you're right. Maybe he would survive just fine. But he would still be heartbroken. Don't kid yourself on that it's only you who would lose out on this."

Her hand reached up to my face, soothing my cheek. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but you need to realize the truth." I nodded, accepting her words and furiously trying to blink away the tears that sat in my eyes. I wouldn't let them fall. She wasn't being horrible, she was being honest.

Her hand fell away and we both sipped on our coffees as Edward came crashing through the back door, kicking off his dirty shoes.

"Ah. Both ladies of my life are up." My brows shot up in amusement at his words, my eyes meeting with Esme who seemed to be as surprised by his use of words. "How are you both?" He asked as he walked up to us, kissing Esme on the cheek before coming up behind me, and placing a kiss on my cheek as he hugged me from behind. He was sweating, but I couldn't complain. I was saying nothing to make him pull away from me, even if I did find it slightly gross.

We both mumbled out a 'fine' as he pulled away from me, heading to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water before making his way back to me once again.

"So what is happening today?" Edward asked, like as if we had the options of plans.

Esme spoke up. "I was thinking of us going out to lunch. I know a little place in town that's good."

Edward looked at me. "You want to go?" Wait, we were just going to go out – after we had been hiding for what seemed like forever.

"Is it safe?" I asked a little worried.

"Should be. I don't imagine anyone will know who you are or that you are here." Esme shrugged as if it were so easy.

"She has a point." Edward shrugged. I nodded, accepting. "I'm off for a shower. I'll leave you pair to your gossiping." He broke away from me, heading to the door.

"Do you think that's what we do? Gossip?" Esme called and I could hear Edward laugh at her words, knowing he was right.

"Go after him." She ordered with a jut of the head. I looked at her and felt confused. "Speak to him if you're so worried. Get it out in the open. It's the only way."

I looked at her a little unsure of what to do and what to even start with saying. _Edward, I'm a nervous wreck because you won't tell me that you love me. Edward, I have so little faith in you that as soon as the next girl walks by, I'm convinced I'm going to be out on my ass. Edward, I love you, why don't you say it back?_

I knew how pathetic it sounded, but it didn't stop the fear in me.

"No," I shook my head. "I'll sound like an idiot."

"Who cares what you sound like. Let him know how you are feeling and I bet you he'll be more than willing to settle your nerves." She was so damn sure. The knowing look on her face. What if I upset him though. What if he got mad that I didn't trust him, that I thought so little of him. I didn't want to become one of those girls who needed constant reassurance, but here I was and that was exactly what I was asking.

She was right. This was such a strange situation to be in and after last night my emotions were all over the place. I knew Edward would be happy to take a moment to ease my mind.

I rushed up stairs and entered out bedroom, closing the door behind me. Edward stood with his back to me for a moment, finishing a text on his phone.

I stood with my back to the door afraid to move or to even begin to speak. I was sure I was right, that he would ease my fears, but standing here I was unsure of how to bring it up.

He turned to me, placing his phone down on the vanity table. He looked at me with raised brows, waiting for me to begin. But I didn't.

"Bella?" He asked, taking a step forward.

I shook my head, suddenly having a change of heart. "What is it?" He asked, knowing all to well something was up.

I shook my head again. "It doesn't matter." I lied. As I turned for the door handle, opening the door to leave.

Edward was quick though. He rushed up behind me, slamming the door closed and pressed himself up against my back.

His arms caged me in, with his hand leaning flat against the surface of the door. His breath came to me in hot waves and I felt seriously intimidated. I wasn't scared, but I was most definitely intimidated and I knew now that I wasn't going anywhere without talking about this.

I swallowed and turned in his arms, facing him.

His left brow was cocked upwards and there was some concern in his eyes but when he took my face in, his features faltered into a worried expression.

"Bella, you're chalk white." His hands lifted away from me, and he eased back a step. I knew he was worried that he was to close, but what I really was worried about was that I had to find some way to explain how I was feeling without upsetting him.

"It's stupid." I tried to play it down, because quite frankly it was stupid.

He made no face, no move. He kept his eyes on me, waiting.

_Damn it._

I walked past him and sat on the edge of the bed. "Okay, you don't get to be mad though." I ordered him and he nodded, taking a seat beside me on the mattress. "You know yesterday when I joked that I said "I love you too,", though you never actually said you... well, you know." I felt so stupid for assuming that he did. I was sure he did, but he would never say it. He nodded, waiting. I sighed. "Why won't you say it? I mean, am I too stupid to see that you don't actually care, or am I just a joke to you for saying it in the first place." There I said it – and unfortunately it never came out in a gentle way.

Edward's face dropped. He looked so visibly stunned. He took a moment to gain his composure. "Bella, that's brutal. What you just said to me... why would you say that? Is that how you really feel?" I nodded my head a little ashamed. "So everything I say and do... it's just invalid?" His brows rose and I felt myself shrink a little. I suppose I had never thought about it like that. "Last night, the past week – they mean nothing?" He asked. I was yet to answer any of his questions.

"I told you it was stupid." I tried to argue feeling panicked at what I had landed myself into.

"It's not stupid if it's how you feel, but you need to ask yourself if that is how you really do feel or if that because I'm not saying what you want to hear that you are ignoring everything that I am." He was actually looking genuinely hurt. And that pained me even more.

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled, trying to let it rest, standing up and taking a step away before I felt Edwards hand around my wrist, yanking me back and putting me in my spot on the bed.

"A few months ago I was in a relationship with a woman. We had been together for years. She walks out and leaves me and it made me feel truly shit that this person I had invested so much time with, could just walk away like that. The worst part of it though was that I didn't even really care. I spent years with her and I didn't even realize that I didn't love her any more. Part of me isn't even sure that I ever really did. Me and her, we weren't like me and you. You are nothing like her and I that makes me happy. I was in hospital and she walked out on a guy that she knew for years of her life. You come here and I've never had anyone care for me or touch me like you do – even when we were still practically strangers." He sighed. "I care about you a hell of a lot. If you can't see it with what I've done for you," He reached for my hand showing me the bracelet, "What I've given you... you need to open your eyes here. I told a woman for years I loved her and I don't even know if I meant it. Next time I do, I want to know that I'm saying it because I mean it and that I want to spend my life with that person."

Now I just felt ridiculous. I caught a tear that had escaped my eye and tried to be discreet. I knew I was crying, but I didn't want to seem like some emotional wreck.

"Now do you really think I don't care about you – a lot?" He asked with raised brows and a small smile on his face.

I shook my head.

"No?" He asked loudly.

"No. I mean, yes. I'm sorry." I brought my legs up to me, putting up a barrier between the two of us, wanting to escape from this whole situation and forget about it.

"Do you think I'm stupid for saying that I love you?" I asked genuinely interested.

"It's not up to me to say what you feel or how you should express it. You are your own person. If it makes you happy and you feel comfortable... well to be honest, I quite like hearing you say it. It makes me feel awkward because I can't say it, but it doesn't mean that I don't like to hear it. Because of that, I understand where you're coming from, but I'm not going to say and do things because other people want it. Not anymore." I nodded understanding.

"I guess because I was saying it that I thought eventually you would. Then when you didn't it made me question myself , if it's me you want. What would happen when we went back home? We will be together when we go back home, right? You won't leave me?"

"I'll be with you. I promise." And in those few words I knew exactly what he was saying and what he meant. I had to read between the lines. It was my decision to get into a relationship with a man that had been through so much, I couldn't just pretend it was going to be plain sailing and that we would have our fairytale ending.

"Now, without words, is there anyway I can prove this too you?" I looked up him and smiled giving a small nod before throwing myself at him and wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing his lips.

* * *

I woke up some time later to find myself naked in bed and very much alone. The room was empty and the bathroom was empty also.

Bleary eyed, I reached for the clothes I had been wearing earlier and quickly dressed, noticing that the clock showed it was a little after twelve noon.

I made my way down the stairs silently while trying to waken up. My nap had left me tired and my mind running a little slow.

I headed for the kitchen first, trying to find Edward. He wasn't there so I headed to the lounge to find that was empty also. Esme didn't appear to be around either.

Opening the study, I found him sitting at my laptop. He smiled over to me as my feet shuffled across the carpet, making their way to him.

"I thought I was alone." My words mumbled onto his chest as I took a seat on his lap and rested my head against him.

"Of course not. My mom did leave though. She said she would see you another time and that you were to quit worrying." I looked up at his face, a small smile playing on his lips letting me know that Esme had told all to him, or at least the brunt of it. I let my head rest against him again and I felt his lips kiss my head.

"Shame. I was looking to escape here and go out." I said thinking about the plans we had made to go out for lunch.

"We still can. I'm googling this place right now. Mom said we should go out and enjoy ourselves and I think she's right." I smiled at his words, ready for him to let us out into the world. Though we had been out, it had only ever been for valid reasons or to places we knew we would be safe from view.

"Really?" I asked double checking, looking up at him in surprise.

He nodded with a smile. "She's right. Who is going to know us here?"

I never answered him. Instead I jumped to my feet. "I need to go for a shower."

Edwards hand closed down the laptop lid and he stood too. "Good, because so do I."

He grabbed my hand and we both rushed up the stairs, stripping as we entered the bed room. It wasn't long till we were in the shower, but it was a while before we emerged back out.

* * *

It was mid December when the first snow fell. The cold air had grown and looking outside it was like something out of a Christmas card. The snow covered hills and the white on the ever green made it look like we has been transported to another place. Gone was the grey, damp skies.

Gone was a lot of things. Edward and I had spend a lot of time alone once more. The snow on the ground made it difficult to get out and about many places. Forks was fine. Travelling for over an hour in the snow was quite another. We never complained that it was only each other – and actually, we quite enjoyed it. We made the most of it.

I loved my time with Edward and I was happy to say that to him. I never questioned myself or him again. It wasn't fair too. Edward really did try and it was more than what I could ask for after all he had been through.

Suddenly there was a whack to the back of my head and the cold from it mingled into my hair.

"You little shit. I'm going to get you for that." I cried turning around, looking between the trees to find Edward. He had escaped my sight all too quickly and in our snowball fight, I was losing.

His figure moved through the trees quickly and I could barely focus on him before he vanished into more shrubbery.

The snowball in my hand lay dormant as I looked around for him again. My fingers tingling from the cold and how long it had been held there for.

Another smack and I let out a screech at him managing to get snow in my ear this time. It was over. I wasn't playing any more. Edward wasn't taking it easy on me at all. I could feel the pout on my lips realizing that I hoped that he would have. I forgot that this was Edward though. It was all about competition.

"That's it, Cullen. I've had enough. I'm going back in. You got snow in my ear." I huffed and stood up, wiping the snow off of the bottom of my jeans.

"Aww come on." He moaned, his voice from the shrubs.

"No. I'm freezing and I need a hot shower if I'm to survive this." I could hear him laugh, his hands up in the air and then his face being revealed as he stood up.

"I'll join you, gorgeous." the smug look on his face knowing that I couldn't say no.

"Yeah, yeah." I huffed and began my trek back down the hill and towards the house. Edward was only a step behind me and hurried up, wrapping his arms around me, kissing my cheek.

Reaching the back door, we kicked off our wet boots and tried not to slide on the flooring n our haste. We both knew where this was heading.

Edwards iphone began to ring out from his pocket and he slowed to look at who was calling him.

He stopped in his path causing me to stop with the joining of our hands.

"It's your dad." He said, his face confused. Charlie had yet to call us up for anything. It was me who had called him some time ago. That was the last I had spoken with him.

This was it. I knew it was. Time had ran out and I was being told to go home.

I swallowed, nodding at Edward telling him to answer the phone.

"Chief," He called out, looking me deep in the eyes as he did so. His face flinched, but I didn't interrupt their conversation. I was prepared for this. In all honesty I wasn't ready to leave here, to go back home and to go back to normal, but as soon as Edward had said it was my father calling, I knew it was time for me to head home.

Edwards head nodded and gave my father a few yes and no's. The the conversation was over.

"What did he say?" I asked, desperately needing to know.

"It wasn't your dad. It was his deputy – Stevens." I nodded, knowing who he was talking about. "Your dad... he was shot." At his words all sound cut off. All vision was blurred and it was myself, caged in with the harrowing fact.

I fell to the spot on the floor and a felt like all air had left me.

_Charlie._

It was a moment later that I let out a scream.

I was lost. I couldn't see Edward, I couldn't even hear his voice. All I could hear was myself screaming.

I felt myself shake hard. My body violently convulsing. And a smack across my face that made me flinch in surprise.

I stopped screaming.

Edwards weight crushed me as I felt his arms wrap around me and lift me from the floor. His countless apologies poured from his lips. I didn't know what he was sorry for. Charlie or for him hitting me. I was sure it was both though.

His hand grasped my cheek and I felt his lips cool the sting out from the burn from below the surface, his lips still ice cold from outside. "Bella, love. I'm so sorry. I had to do it." I knew he did. He had to get me thinking. And to be honest, there was nothing in it. Not the force like his father strike, anyway.

His hand pulled at my jaw, directing my eyes to his. "You need to leave as soon as you can. He's in surgery."

He was okay?

"He's okay?" I asked shocked.

"I don't know. Nobody does. His deputy knew to contact you in case of an emergency. You have to go to Seattle." I nodded, knowing.

"I'll call Riley and by the time you get your things together he should be here." Riley was going to take an hour and it was going to take about another three to reach Seattle. Why did this have to be happening.

Edward helped me to my feet and kissed my cheek once again, profusely apologizing while the guilt and hatred ate him up.

He pulled on my hand, directing me up the flight of stairs and into our bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed still to stunned to do much. Edward was of course already packing for us.

He sat a change of warm dry clothes on the bed beside me. "Do you want a shower?" He asked, a little unsure. I shook my head, telling him no.

I sat there watching, but not really. Blurred images moved in my peripheral, but it was all I could manage to focus. Words came from Edward to me, to Riley. Then he was back to packing.

I felt Edwards hands at the button of my jeans, opening them up and pulling me to my feet. "You need to get changed." I nodded in his arms. The warmth and strength of him too much for me to pull away.

"What happened?" I finally asked, focusing my eyes on Edwards as I still stood in his arms, my jeans barely over my backside.

"Your dad?" He clarified and I nodded. "He was out on a call. It's all I know." He bent down to his knees, stripping me of the cold wet denim. I was so cold but I couldn't tell if it was from the snow or if it was the shock.

"I'm really cold, Edward." He reached back up to me, nodding and pulling at my jacket and sweater.

"Will you take a shower? You have time." I glanced at the clock. Edward had spoken to Riley a little under ten minutes ago. I did have time, but my legs felt like lead. "I'll tie your hair up," He smiled as he started on binding my hair up into a bun. I nodded.

"Will you come in with me. I don't think I could stand up for so long on my own.

In the shower, he was methodical. Making sure my hair stayed dry and making sure I warmed up. He held me close through out and it gave my mind a little time to catch up with what was going on. He wrapped my bathrobe around me and I continued out to the bedroom, leaving him to dry off his hair.

Looking around I was met with all my things. Edward had been furious in his quest to get me packed. I hadn't realized he had managed so much. Gazing around the room I noticed it was only all my things. The things that lay out of Edwards were things that had been left lying for the past few days.

He joined me in the bedroom and I turned to look at him. "Where are your things?" I asked feeling totally confused.

"I need a few days. I have some things I need to sort out. I'll be in the city in a few day." What? He was leaving me to go it alone – after everything?

"You're leaving me alone?" My mind had felt so completely empty when Edward had told me about my dad, but now it was in overdrive. A huge hollow formed in my gut at his words.

"A few days." He emphasised. "I'll be with you as soon as I can." I looked at him, his eyes reflecting into mine. He was open. Honest. Least, I really hoped he was.

"But you said..." He said so many time that I was never going to be alone. I didn't even need to finish my sentence.

He sighed. "I know. But I need to make sure the house is properly sealed up and that everything is turned off." I looked at him with a raised brow. "I need to see Emmett." He added quickly. "You will be fine in the city. Riley will be under strict orders to take you to the university hospital. You'll be met with Stevens and you will be kept safe. He's organizing security for you. Your dad will need you. I'll just be an inconvenience to both of you."

How could he say that. He would never be an inconvenience. "But you could keep me safe." I argued.

He shook his head. "I'm not Seattle police department."

"It hasn't stopped you up until now – when you were sleeping with me." I quipped to him instantly.

"That's not what I mean and you know it. They are much better equipped for being in the city and for you being visible. We're not going to be hiding out in Forks anymore."

"We'll I'm not..." I mumbled.

"Bella, please. Stop. You need to go see your dad. Make sure he is all right. I'm not your concern. The police will keep you safer. I'll be there in a few days once things calm down and your dad is up on his feet." He argued.

"And if anything goes wrong, I'm going to be all alone." I cried, tears escaping my eyes.

"He is going to be fine-"

"You don't know that." I shouted, interrupting him.

"A few day's Bella. I'm not asking – I'm telling you." he snapped.

"Whatever, Edward. You know what? You sounded a lot like your dad there." With that, I grabbed my clothes and marched past him to the bathroom to change.

* * *

Edward and I silently packed up my things, never actually talking. He told me where he had packed up some items, but I shrugged him off, ignoring him. It wasn't until Riley had arrived and that Edward had packed the car up that he tried any real conversation. I was to pissed to care and I still was, but it was the last we were going to see of one another for a few days so he was trying. But I wasn't.

He pulled on my hand, resting it on his chest telling me that he would see me soon. I tried to look anywhere else but at him because I was sure I was going to burst into tears. They loomed on the surface waiting to fall. I at least wanted to be away from him for that.

"A few days, Bella." He whispered in my ear before he moved to kiss me. A deep kiss that relaxed my tense body into his arms and let my arms wrap around his neck.

I wasn't sure what I was walking into, going to Seattle, but I knew it would be easier with Edward by my side. But I guess that just wasn't meant to be.

When he broke away his lips, he pulled me into him, his arms almost crushing me. His lips graced the top of my head before he reached behind him, breaking my grip on him, because he knew that I would never be able to let go myself.

With that I turned for my three hour drive to the city. Edward had gave strict instructions to Riley and had even wrote them down for him. I was taken to a safe section of the staff car park where two patrol cars waited. I met with Stevens and two other officers who walked with me, taking me to meet Charlie.

It wasn't until I saw Charlie in his bed, knocked out and a plethora of wires and tubes sticking out that I broke down. The tears came running down my cheeks like a river and I was all alone with the exception of an unconscious Charlie and three of Seattle's police officers outside the room.

* * *

_**A/n: Ugh! What's your thoughts on what's next?**_

_**Sorry for not getting to you lovely folk who reviewed, I have had a very busy and crazy week and I also managed to type this out at the same time. **_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/n: I'm on a roll!**_

**The Difference Between us**

The tray hit the table causing a small thud as I threw myself into a seat. Jake sat opposite me, that worried look still on his face.

It was day number three and there was still no Edward. We had spoke on the phone a few times but he said that something had came up so he was unable to make it today. I was expecting to hear from him soon, hoping that he would tell me he would be arriving tonight or tomorrow.

Charlie was going to be fine. _Going to be _was the phrase. He was pissed off that he was lying up in hospital with a gun shot wound a little below his collar bone, on his left side of his chest. A little above his heart. Two of the main men in my world had almost matching scars and I really hated that thought.

To be fair, Charlie didn't have damage to his heart. It was his shoulder that was going to have the brunt of it. His arm would need some good rehab to get it back to normal.

"Charlie is fine." Jake reminded me.

"I know." I snapped back, irked by him, his dads and Charlies over protectiveness of me, my safety and the whole situation.

"So what's eating you?" His soft brown eyes looked into mine and I felt horrible for my moody strops, and them having to deal with the brunt of it.

"Nothing." I snapped, picking up a French fry and putting it on my mouth. His brows rose at me and my tone towards him. It wasn't Jakes fault and I hated that I was letting myself take it out on him. He did not deserve any of it. "It's all just a little too much you know? I've been alone for so long and now I have you and all these people buzzing around me – Them." I motioned to the two cops that stood by the hospitals canteen doors.

He nodded, somewhat understanding what I meant. "What about that guy, Cullen? He was all right with you, yeah?"

I nodded. "Edward was fine. He was actually pretty nice to me once we got use to one another. His family too." Talk about understatement of the year but no one knew anything. No one was aware of our relationship and what exactly had happened between us.

"It must be good to be away from him though. I mean living with some older guy must have been creepy. Did he seem like that? I mean, come on. He had some young student living with him. It must have been like some wet dream for him." Jake sniggered and I felt myself grow angry.

"Older guy? Jake, he's thirty. And no, he was not creepy in the slightest. Please don't say things like that. He was nice and he was good to me when he didn't have to be." I picked up another fry but threw it down almost instantly, not even hungry.

"I'm sorry. I was only trying to make light of it." He shrugged.

"Light of it?" I shouted. "Light of it?" I repeated. "Are you kidding, Jake. I was locked up away from everyone I knew and I was lucky enough to spend my time with someone who didn't take advantage of the situation. Don't talk about him like you know him." I stood up, frustrated and fed up and having enough of the food that I never ate. I picked up my tray and binned its contents before swiftly leaving he canteen with the two policemen on my tail.

Charlie had been careful when mentioning Edwards name and after Edward telling me what he had said to my father when he went to Seattle to see him, I didn't let any of the conversation carry on much further. I didn't let him get any ideas to make him think he knew the situation. It was between me and Edward and I intended it on staying that way until Edward got here.

Walking to my fathers room, I pushed the door open to find him pushing away his meal tray. It looked like he hadn't touched it and I couldn't blame him if it were like anything that Edward had been served up when he had been in hospital.

"You're back fast, Bells." He smiled. "The food as bad down there as it is up here?" I smiled.

"Pretty much, yeah." I pulled his tray away from him, not even attempting to argue. There would be a few of the guys from the station here soon enough, I would ask one of them to go out an pick something up of both of us. They were good that way.

"What's the matter?" He asked, trying to sit up a little. His face wincing as he did. "You look like you have been chewing on a wasps nest."

I looked at him, and shook him off.

"Bella?" He asked again.

"Jake pissed me off." I threw myself back in to the seat, curling my legs below me.

"How did he manage that?" He asked curiously. I didn't make any attempt to explain. I ignored him. "Come on. You can tell me. I won't say anything." And with Charlie, I knew I could. I had always been able to talk to him. The only subject we stumbled on was mom, but apart from that, he was always good with an ear and never judged me, never tried to persuade me. He always accepted me and my decisions. I had a feeling that anything to do with Edward would be a different story though.

"He was talking about Edward. He was implying he was some creep." This could open up a whole other can of worms.

"And he wasn't?" Charlie asked carefully.

"No." I shouted, a little appalled that he had to ask.

"Good. So what does it matter what Jake says then?"

"Because he shouldn't assume that. It's not fair to Edward." I could have stamped my foot. I felt so frustrated.

"Did Edward ever tell you what he said to me when he came down here that time?" I knew the answer to that, but unfortunately I didn't want to answer it. Maybe to Charlie it would make Edward seem like a creep. I shook my head, pretending I didn't know. "He said that he liked you more as a friend... I told him to stay away from you."

I looked away from Charlie, ashamed of the lies that I knew I was going to create if he pressed any further.

"He never... he never tried anything with you did he? Never tried... I don't know to kiss you or anything else?" I shook my head, lying to him. I hated myself and I hated Edward for not being here so that we could be honest. Maybe Jake was right, maybe he was a creep and he had his time with me and now he was done. He wasn't here to support me. He was hiding in Forks, leaving me to deal with all of this myself.

"You do know that he had been following you for weeks?" He asked, his tone a little worried. I nodded, still silently refusing to look at him.

This conversation wasn't making me feel good at all. I was beginning to question everything now.

That night, I never heard from Edward.

* * *

Charlie grew well enough to be let out of hospital the day before Christmas. It was a small celebration lacking any presents or much of the feast I would normally prepare, but we were together. Charlie, Jake, Billy and myself.

I had became use to the officers that would follow me around, the patrol cars that were never too far away from me or the one that sat outside our house continuously.

Charlie had been shot when an an attempt to foil a deal with the same criminals who had been after me, had went wrong. So they were still at large and Charlie still believed I was in danger.

I hated the fact that I had escaped my hideout in Forks for hiding out in Seattle. Her I felt like a sitting duck. Surly they were aware that I was back and that Charlie was still breathing. What I truly hated the most was that I never had Edward. I tired calling him but his phone constantly went to answer machine and I was growing concerned.

I dressed for the day and made my way down stairs to find Charlie at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. "You're up early. Are you heading out?" He asked as he glanced to my heavy boots on my feet. I nodded.

"I need to take care of a few things." I said as I poured out a coffee, topping up Charlies in the process.

"You should have asked first, Bells." he sighed. I knew he was only concerned, but after having him out of the hospital for the past two weeks, I needed to try to gain some semblance of a normal life.

"I'm not hiding out any more, dad. I've had enough. I have things I need to do." I needed to find out where Edward was.

"You need to stay safe." he argued.

"I am safe. I have a cop car tailing my every move. I can't be anywhere without one of them standing behind me. It's suffocating."

He chuckled "How did you manage for so long with Edward?"

I ignored his question.

"Ask Jake to go with you." He ordered.

"No." I huffed. "I don't need Jake. Besides, it's not something that he needs to hear about?"

That got Charlies attention. He sat up, looking at me confused.

"What would that be?" He asked.

Ugh. "Nothing that you need to hear about either, okay?" I did not need to go into the details of my day or the fact I was going to harass Alice to find out where Edward was. Someone needed to know something and I was taking my guess that if anyone knew where Edward was, it was Jasper.

"Fine, but the guys will drive you." Was he kidding?

"I don't think so. I'll take a cab." I argued.

"Take the pick-up," He sighed, defeated.

"It's not worked in years." I reminded him. It was mine back in High school and it was supposed to be fixed, but it just lay out the front, an abandoned wreck.

"It does now. Jake needed something to keep his mind occupied when you were gone so he worked on it so that you had it when you got back." I looked at him, shocked and really surprised that he would do that for me. I knew Jake was good with engines, but some of the parts were hard to find so he never got round to doing it. He must have search like hell to get those parts and to build it up so much. The longer it sat there, the worse it got. I really didn't think it would ever run again.

My guess was that Charlie had been keeping this up his sleeve in an attempt to keep me as close to the house for as long as possible.

He motioned his head to the unit. "Keys are in that drawer." directing his gaze that held all of the houses bills. "Be careful and don't you dare try to get past those guys. They are trying to keep you safe, not from ruining your fun."

"Yes, chief." I called to him, grabbing the keys and quickly giving him a peck on the cheek.

Climbing into the cabin, the smell of a little tree freshener filled the air. I'm guessing all its idle time had caused more than a little bit of a damp musk. I put the keys in the engine and buckled up before letting myself start the ignition.

The dull soothing rattle that reminded me of high school played out and I felt myself relax, soothed by something familiar in an all too unfamiliar time. It made me feel safe.

I saw the two patrol cars sitting out on the street, one coming to life at the same time my truck did. One always followed us and one stayed at home. I was hoping Charlie didn't have any plans to escape for the day because I doubt he would get very far with me taking the bulk of our security. Not that he could drive anyway.

On the way to Alice's store, I put my foot down, finally feeling the freedom of driving once again. I had loved my pick up but I also knew that to get it fixed and the parts I needed were going to cost money so I had stuck with the bus since my first year of college. It wasn't all that bad. I actually liked to walk. And I was in the city so most times it was the easiest option.

Eventually I found my way to Alice's store. I had googled it this morning, desperate to see her face to face and for her to let me know where Edward was.

Pulling up, I quickly bound out of the truck and holding my hand up to the two officers in the patrol car, telling them to stay where they were. I was going into a small clothing boutique. I doubted I would be in danger here.

I opened the door wearily, worried about what I would hear. Edward had left me. No matter what way I looked at it. He wasn't with me – he was gone. He had lied.

Alice's head looked up from behind the cash register, her eyes widening when she saw me. "Bella," she practically screamed, rushing towards me and wrapping her arms around my body. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "What happened?". I felt so confused. Did Edward not tell her?

She pulled on my hand, directing me to a little bench for the both of us to sit on. "Don't you know?" I asked confused.

"Know what? We haven't heard from either of you in so long." She cried out.

"You haven't heard from Edward? At all?" She shook her head.

"No. We called but got no answer so we went up there and the house was empty." Wait, what?

"Empty?" I asked confused. Then where was Edward?

"Bella, we were so worried. Jasper called Emmett and he knew nothing, so we called up Esme and she knew nothing. We managed to get hold of Riley and he told us that you were gone and that he dropped Edward off at the airport."

_Oh my god. He left. He's gone._

I try to hold myself together and try to piece together what she does know.

"Why did you leave him?" She asked desperately.

"My dad was shot on call. I packed up and left. Edward said he would be with me in a few days. That was almost three weeks ago and I haven't heard anything from him since." It's all too much and a flood of tears come to me, my body heaving from the panic inside of me.

"Is your dad okay?" She asked concerned.

I wave her off. "He'll be fine. It was his shoulder." I shrugged. What about Edward? "So no one has heard from him?" I asked trying to clarify the situation.

"No one can get hold of him. His phone must be off. Esme wanted to report him, but doesn't feel like she can since he was dropped off at Sea-tac. We don't know what to do. Esme tried going to the station but hasn't been able to speak to your father... and I guess we know why. I mean, least we know that you're okay." I nodded.

"I'm fine. But I miss Edward." She carefully wipes away a few tears from my face and offerd to get us some coffee.

"I can't. I have some things to do." I tell her. "Do you have a back door though? I'm trying to keep a low profile since it's still not safe." She looked confused as I lied to her face, but still nodded.

"Sure. Do you want me to take you anywhere?"

"No, I'm good, Alice. I have an appointment not too far away. If anyone is watching me then they are going to be lost in the next five minutes." I smile, trying to make light.

"Should someone not be with you?" She asked, growing suspicious.

I shook my head. "It's fine. I have a ride." I lied again. "It was my dad's idea. Back doors and all that..."

"If you say so." I don't think that she was genuinely convinced, but she went with it.

She showed me the back door and how to get up onto the main street behind us and with my directions, I rushed along, determined to blend into the crowd and lose the police and anyone else that may have been watching me before I entered the building that caused my nerves to truly fray.

It wasn't until over an hour later that I made my way back to my pick-up that I faced a very pissed off looking deputy Stevens and Alice. that I knew I was in trouble, I knew doing what I did was going to get me into bother, I just didn't realize that in my hour away that my life could spin me any further out of control, but I was wrong. But I also knew I had to keep it a secret to minimise the damage that this could cause.

"Back door huh?" Alice snapped, leaning against the door frame of her store.

"I'm sorry I lied." I tried to keep my own tears at bay. The day had became too much for me to handle. "I had too. Don't be mad."

Stevens shuffled on his feet, looking anything but amused. "I'm sorry, to you too. I... I just needed to do something."

"Get in the car and go home, Bella. I'm going to have to tell the Chief." I nodded knowing fine well he would. I knew there was no possible way to escape this, but I also knew it was better than trying to explain where I had been.

* * *

"That's it. You're not getting out unless you ask and that you have someone by your side at all times. I mean it. They are going to stick to you like glue, Bella." Charlie roared.

To say he was mad was an understatement.

"You can't make me." I argued. But I silenced myself, reminded of how much it felt like I argued with Edward on this situation.

"I don't care. You will do what your told. Where the hell did you even go?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter. I needed some time away. To think. To be on my own for the first time in months." I stood up from the couch, heading to my room. I needed to be alone.

I closed my door behind me and looked out the window to the dull day that was growing darker. It made me feel cold and I desperately wished that I had Edward to wrap his arms around me and make me feel better.

I made my way to the window and closed my curtains off to the day before making my way to my bed and balling up on the covers. Feeling so trapped and so completely alone, I let the tears fall like I did every night.

I had been wrong to trust Edward. Stupid to believe that I could make him happy. All his bullshit and lies made me doubt myself, doubt the knowing feeling that I always knew in my gut, that was that he would, and did leave me.

I couldn't even begin to think of where he could be. I remember once him saying that he should leave and travel the world, but that was before we had been together. Was he in the States? If none of the others had any idea of his where abouts, how was I supposed to know?

What I never understood though was that he left everyone else too. Claire, who he adored. His new relationship with Emmett and Esme. His best friend, Jasper. He left them all behind too. How could he be so utterly selfish? How could he walk away from all that he had? Me, I could understand, the others... it just confused me more.

Pulling at his bracelet on my wrist, it seemed like it was all a bunch of set up lies. Expensive lies at that. It belonged to Esme. I needed to return it to her. It never truly belonged to me. It was all some moment in the past that we could never make our way to again. It was over. The secret affair we had. The loving touches and days in bed were all just a memory. Something to learn from.

I stripped myself of my clothes and crawled below the duvet. Tears continued to rain down as I let them lead me to sleep.

* * *

The next two weeks went by and I never left my room. I let my work slide and I slipped further and further into the black void that had been left in Edwards absence. I nnew I needed to be stronger than this. Not to let a man mess up my life, but the truth was, it already was messed up and I had no idea where to even begin to fix it.

Charlie flung open my bedroom door, standing in his jeans and shirt with his arm still resting in its sling. "Bella, its noon. You need to get out of bed and stop acting like this. You haven't spoke to me since you sloped out of sight a couple of weeks ago. You cant keep this going." I turned away from him, facing the other wall instead of the door.

"At least study. I know that you haven't been and that you're falling behind. This isn't you. You need to pull yourself together." like he had any idea. Like he could understand how I was feeling.

"Is this to do with Edward?" he was just so blunt about it. I let my fingers trace the bracelet once again, knowing that I really did need to send it back to Esme at some point. It wasn't like I didn't know where she worked. "Did something go on between you pair?" He asked carefully as he walked in to my room, taking a seat at the foot of my bed.

"No," the word was whispered and bleak.

"I don't understand you, Bella. What did Alice say to you?" He was aware of where I had been when I had lost the two officers and it didn't take him too long to make the connection of who she was.

I shook my head, refusing to answer him.

"You can't be like this, Bells. Not over some boy." Like I said, he knew nothing of what was going on. "What did he do to you? I told him not to go near you. I warned him I'd go after him if he broke your heart. You're too young for all of this."

I sat up, sharply looking at him. "This?" I questioned, fury in my voice. "You don't know anything. All you are doing is guessing. And I'm not too young. I'm not that little girl I was when mom died. I'm twenty-two. I was five when mom was my age right now. Did you think of her as some kid?"

He shook his head. "No. But she was young... too young to have a five year old. Too young to be tied down to someone like me."

What was he saying? Tears surfaced in my eyes and I silently pleaded with myself not to let them fall. "She was in love with you. You loved her too. Because you were young doesn't mean it shouldn't have happened."

"Is that what you tell yourself?" he asked, surprising me.

"This is not about, Edward." I yelped. It was, everything was. The thing that scared me most though was that there was absolutely no way of hiding it. It seemed to pour out of me. I tried to keep it a secret, but it was like everyone else already knew.

"You spent all that time with a guy, locked up in a house in the middle of no where. You come back alone. I hear nothing from him. He's vanished and now you hate yourself for letting yourself get too attached... maybe you even loved him." I swallow down the bile that I feel rising. "You used to tell me everything, kid. Why not this? If he hurt you... made you do something you didn't want to do, tell me. If you got involved with him and you wanted it – that's your decision. Either way Bells, tell me. I'm not going to judge you. But your here, hiding away from me. You cry yourself to sleep every night. You don't say a word to anyone. It's like someone has died. Least that's how I acted when your mom passed." My tears began to fall, realizing that maybe Charlie wasn't the enemy. Maybe all he wanted was to protect me from any heart ache and pain that he suffered.

"I'm going to ask you once more. Did Edward ever touch you in a way you didn't want to be touched. Did he ever strike you, hit you?" His words were slow, articulate.

I shook my head. "No. He never would." He never would have. That was never a doubt. But his disappearance I never thought would happen either.

He nodded "Is there any reason that you can think of to why he never came back? He seemed to care about you that day in the office." And then I realized.

It wasn't me who he had ran away from. It wasn't me who he had left. It was Charlie. "You."

Saying it, it made perfect sense. I was so sure. I knew somewhere deep inside of me that Edward loved me, but he had always been afraid that Charlie would never have allowed it. I knew it would have taken time for Charlie to agree to it, for him to realize that he made me happy. So why would Edward run away and make the situation worse?

* * *

_**a/n: Please leave a little review. I have a feeling that a lot of people bailed out after my time out and taking a while to get back to the game.**_

_**Thoughts on this chapter? Where do you think Edward is?**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Warning - Fast paced chapter!**_

* * *

**The Difference Between Us**

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. I took Charlies advice and began studying again. I went back to the books and worked as hard as I could. Jake was actually very helpful on this on. He would come to the library and sit with me, collecting or searching anything I might need. I still felt miserable though.

The longer that I never heard from Edward, the more I let go to the notion that he would come back for me. The fear of him being afraid, to stay away, ate me up. The thought of giving myself so completely to this man and the fact that he was able to walk away from me was horrendous. I would have given my life for him, but it was clear that I wasn't even a second thought.

I thought about going to see Alice once again, but I realized that if Edward was in contact, he would have been able to direct her to find me. He knew where I lived. He knew all the places I went. So I decided to put a line below him, just like he did to me.

His bracelet still cuffed my wrist and I couldn't seem to part with it, but I never pushed myself to take it off. I knew that there would be a time that I realized that this was truly over and I would take it off without as much pain. Least I hoped.

Charlie was careful never to mention Edward. He did on the odd occasion, but it was only to try to find out what had happened in Forks. I didn't ever want to talk about it. I was sure that he knew something must have happened. The way I allowed myself to lose my mind and with Edward having already telling him that he saw me more than a friend.

Finishing for the day on my paper, I switched my laptop off, closing the lid down. I made my way to the oven, pulling out the roast that I had started on earlier. It was looking good and after too many days with take out, I couldn't wait to eat something a little bit better for me.

I heard the car engine pull up out side the house, knowing it would be Charlie being dropped off from the Station. He was still on sick leave, but this being Charlie, he was in the office any time he could.

Pulling out the roast potatoes, I knew it was all ready to be served up and that Charlies timing couldn't have been any better. Reaching for the plates he called on me from the front door.

"In the kitchen." I called, reaching for the cutlery and sitting them on the worktop.

"Can you come through here a second, sweetheart?" I rolled my eyes at his demand as I was juggling food and dishes.

"I'm kinda busy. Dinner is ready. Come through."

"Bells," He motioned his head, telling me to follow him to the lounge as he stood in the arch way.

I sighed. "Fine." I mumbled as I put everything that was in my hands, down then swiftly following him through.

He sat on the couch, patting the space beside him.

The look on his face wasn't his normal demeanour. Something seemed wrong.

I took a seat and waited for him to begin.

He reached for my hand and then I knew something was really wrong. "A few days ago, Esme Masen came into the office. She's worried about Edward. No one has heard anything since you and his driver saw him last." _No one? At all?_ I kept quiet. "He was dropped off at the airport and that was the last we herd of him. Esme wanted to put out a missing persons, but there is not much point since we don't know where he went."

_Airport?_ "He's not missing." I told him, sure. "He left. He said to me he would go travelling once." It was a long shot, but it was true. He went to the airport, leaving us all behind. He did like he said he would.

Charlie nodded. "I ran a check on his passport. He never left. He never left the country, he never left the state... I had airport security back check and he left the airport the way he came in." He passed me a print out of an image from what I assumed to be the airport camera. There he was – blurred – but it was him. Walking out of the airport with a bag slung over his shoulder and what looked like his passport in his hand.

"Where is he?" I asked desperately, my voice breaking and tears beginning to shed.

"We don't know. He got in a cab – the driver remembers him because of his scars but can't remember where he dropped him off, but he's sure he dropped him off in Seattle."

A smile broke out across my face. "He's here?" He must have been. He never left me. So why wasn't he with me?

A new realization dawned upon me that he was here, but that he still didn't want anything to do with me. After feeling my world had stilled for that brief moment, I now felt that it had instantly picked back up and everything was still bad in the world.

"If he's here, why didn't he contact his family or friends?"

I furrowed my brows confused. "What are you saying?" I snapped, my patience thinning.

"When he was here in Seattle, I showed him pictures of you. They were ones we picked up on a raid trying to find these guys. Edward was in the background. He had been circled. The guys that tried to take you must have been able to identify him or something... I don't know, Bella. He left the airport for Seattle. You are so sure that he wouldn't have left you." His eyes dropped and he rubbed his hands in his hair. "What if he didn't leave you, Bells? We have to take this seriously. I told him to stay out of the city for his own safety when he came to the station to let me know what had happened between you and Carlisle. I think he was in as much danger as you were."

I couldn't be hearing right. He had to have it wrong.

"You think someone took him?" my voice trembled, pleading to hear another story. I would much rather he had left me than to think of him in danger.

"It is a possibility, yes." He swallowed deep. "As of this afternoon he was reported as a missing person." My eyes bulged at the thought. It had been weeks since that could have happened. The longer you were missing, the less chance you had of coming back.

"There is no other option?" I asked, my eyes burning deep into the print out of him.

He nodded. "There is. There is countless other scenarios that we have thought of. Truth is though, this is the one that makes the most sense."

I let the tears fall, begging him. "Please don't say that. If so, this is all my fault. If he's hurt I'll never forgive myself-"

"Bells," He tried to sooth me, pulling me into his chest.

"No you don't understand." I argued. "I'll die without him. I need him so badly. I need him to help me. He needs to be here. I haven't been honest with you-"

He cut me off once again. "I know, Bella. I'm not stupid. You and him. I've always known. I just wish you didn't keep it a secret from me."

I nodded into his chest, happy to feel his arms around me. I knew that wasn't where the lies ended, but for the moment, it was all he needed to know. I had to make sure he had a clean head for helping find Edward.

* * *

Over the next week Esme, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice all made visits to see me. They held me, let me cry and even talk about Edward in a way I hadn't since I had been in the house with him in Forks.

It felt like he died a little more each day. My hope slowly fading as the police tried to search for the criminals. It was a living nightmare.

Charlie backed off and gave me a little more room than normal. He hid out in other rooms, brought in take out and even offered to cook. For the most part I lay out in my bed, imagining Edward beside me. I swear, I imagined having him beside me so hard that it felt like he was right there.

The other four looked just as glum. Jasper hid away from it, Alice saying that he spent more and more time at the hospital.

Apparently Carlisle had been pulled in for questioning and struggled with the news somewhat. I suppose having the parting that they did on his conscience wouldn't have don't much for his sleep at night – but it was what he deserved. If it weren't for him, I doubt that we would have been in this situation in the first place and I would still be some naive student.

The days were slow. The snow falling was about the only thing I remembered from my time alone – that and thinking of Edward, of course.

* * *

I was jolted out of a light sleep when there was a hard banging to the front door. "Let me in, Bella." It was Alice. Her voice I could tell a mile off.

I wiped at my eyes, struggling to focus and to manage to get myself up off the couch. She banged again.

"I'm on my way, Alice." I called to her, making my way to the front door and unlocking it.

As soon as the door was open, she bolted through the frame, anger evident in her eyes.

"Close the door." She snapped as she began to pace the carpet. I signalled to the patrol car that everything was fine, though they were now well aware and use to seeing Alice after the past week.

"What's the matter with you?" I snapped feeling shaken from her attitude and being snapped out of my sleep. It was well known that I hadn't slept much at all.

"I... I don't even know where to begin." She paced some more. "I think you will need a seat though." My gut knotted but I took the seat anyway. "I don't know what happened... or even what was said, but Jasper and I ended up in an argument." her eyes closed and she palmed her forehead, thinking. "I was telling him off for not coming to see you more. I thought you could have done with Jasper. He's Edward's friend. He's the best person in a crisis..." She shook off her thoughts, looking at me in the eye.

"It's okay for Jasper to be having a hard time, too, Alice. The man isn't made of steel. His best friend is missing." I tell her off. It must have been hard on Jasper. Last thing he needed was to face me.

"He's not." She snapped.

"He's not, what?" I asked confused. "He's not having a hard time?" I tried to clarify. Maybe it had became too much for Alice also. Maybe it was guilt. It was know that their relationship hadn't always been great. Maybe she was worried it would haunt her, like it was haunting Carlisle.

"He's not missing." She snapped. "Jasper has talked with him. He's in Seattle and he's safe." _What?_

I genuinely couldn't form a sentence in my mind. Nothing that would make sense to the current situation, anyway.

"He said that he is here. Once he let that slip, he ran out the house. I don't know anything else. He must be at his home." She let out, exasperated.

"But he's missing." I argued. Admittedly, the press never took any interest in the story. What is another missing thirty year old man in the streets of Seattle? There was no posters on the streets, but he was still missing.

"No he's not. He's here in Seattle."

"Why would Jasper lie?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I don't know. We hadn't saw him in a few weeks. They only asked if he had been in touch-"

"So he lied? Jasper lied to the police over a missing person?" _What the hell was this man thinking?_

"Yes." Her legs gave out and she dropped into the seat next to me. "I swear I never knew a thing about it. I would never have let it go on. I only found out now."

"Why is he doing this then? Why would he put us all through this?" Surely he must have known what it would have been doing to his mother.

"I have absolutely no idea, but since we're not going to get answers from Jasper, maybe we should get them from Edward."

"How?" I snapped. "If he's managed to evade us up until now, where are we going to find him?"

Alice shrugged. "His house?"

I looked at her, trying to absorb all what I had heard. To be honest, it wasn't a bad idea. In fact, it was the best idea that I could come up with.

* * *

We sat outside his house. This was my moment. I could go and bang on that door and demand that he let me in or I could walk away. I knew the truth now. He hadn't stayed in Forks hiding. He hadn't left the country trying to escape it all. He was here, in the middle of Seattle, not all that far away and he was avoiding me.

"What do I do, Alice?" Asking in a panic feeling genuinely confused. I looked at the front door, willing it to open and to see Edward on the other side.

"I really don't know. But if I were you, I'd be looking for answers." She sighed. "We both know we didn't come out all this way only to look at some front door." And for the first time in a while, I felt that someone genuinely understood my pain. Someone could imagine what it felt like to be me, just for a moment. I appreciated that. She wasn't making excuses for Edward. She wasn't dancing around the facts, telling me to wait. She was by my side and she was ready to support me on this one.

I looked at her. "Thanks... for everything. I really don't think anyone else would have brought me out here, knowing what you do." She shrugged.

"If it were Jasper..." She didn't need to finish off her words. If it had been the other way around, she knew that she would have felt as lost and as hurt as I did right now.

I laughed a little. "Hell, Alice. You didn't just tell me where he was. You drove me to his front door."

She laughed a little too, shrugging with a shy look on her face. "Jasper is going to murder me later. I hope it was worth it." She laughed a little bit more.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked carefully.

I shook my head, telling her no. I was needing to do this on my own. I knew she would be waiting right out side. To be honest, for her to have the balls to go behind Jaspers back and bring me here, that took guts. I didn't want to look weak in front of her when I collapsed down at Edwards feet.

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I opened the car door to the quiet street and climbed out. My steps to his house were matched with waves of nausea. He didn't want me. That much was clear. All this was going to be was a fight about him having the courtesy to tell me it was over. There wasn't going to be any happy ending. Then I wondered why I was even bothering trying at all. I was forgotten about. It would have been better of me to do the same. But I just couldn't walk away as easily as he had.

I stood in front of the heavy looming door and took a moment to catch my breath before I knocked. I let a moment of hesitance pass through my head before I decided that I really needed to push on. Even if I didn't confront him, it didn't mean that this still wasn't over. It was what I owed myself. Closure.

I knocked on the door, patiently waiting for an answer. There wasn't one.

Reaching for the door bell, I could hear the tune carry through the hallway on the other side, imagining the ringing passing down the stairs that sat near the entrance which lead to Edwards basement room.

There was still no answer.

I looked behind me, Alice motioning me on to try again. Further up the street I could see Stevens face looking out his window, no doubt curious to what I was up to now.

I battered the heal of my hand off the door, creating a loud bang and pain shooting through my wrist. Surely he must have heard that? Tears welled in my eyes at the idea of him ignoring me once again. Why was he doing this too me? What had happened to the man I knew?

This wasn't Edward. This was not the man that promised he would be there for me. This was not the man that wrapped a family heirloom around my wrist and told me it belonged with me. That man no longer existed.

I reached for my wrist, unclasping the gorgeous bracelet and found a clean handkerchief in my pocket. I wrapped it up in it and held it in my hand.

In one last attempt, I banged my hand across the door once more and called him out, screaming his name through the door, making him fully aware of just exactly who was here.

There was still no answer. I pushed the letterbox open, feeding the bracelet though the space and felt some of the weight drop off me when I heard the faint fall of it on to the hallway. Now I didn't have that hanging over me. No weighted chain around me, shackling me to him.

Turning on my feet, I cut across the road quickly and climbed into the car. Alice's sorry face made me want to break down, but I was determined not too. "Do you want to go home?" She asked tentatively.

I shook my head. "Can we wait?" I knew it was a lot to ask, to sit here, wait for someone that I had already parted ways with, but I had to see the look in his eyes. Most importantly, I needed him to see the look in _my_ eyes, to let him know just exactly how much he had hurt me. And how glad that I had learned soon on that he was never going to be there for me.

"Of course we can." She promised with a small smile. "We have all day." I nodded, happy that she was here for me as I let my eyes fixate on the front door across the street.

* * *

It was almost an hour later when the shrill ringtone of Alice's phone blared out. We both jumped, having been sitting in a relative silence for the past twenty minutes.

She sighed. "It's Jasper. I better answer him." I nodded, understanding.

Her finger glided across the screen before holing it to her ear. "What do you want?" She snapped. I hated how much this had affected their relationship. It wasn't fair that we had put them in the middle of all of this. I felt bad for making her bring me out here.

"What?" She screamed, my attention snapping to her. She looked at me, brows furrowed and a serious look on her face. "Are you kidding me here, Jasper? What is he playing at?" I could hear a faint mumble of Jaspers voice from through the phone but I couldn't actually work out what he was saying. "Tell him to grow some balls and to come here. He shouldn't be hiding from her." _What? He was here?_ I looked out the car, paying attention to his windows and looking for any sign of life.

I looked towards Alice once more and she sighed, "You know what? If he means that much to you, don't bother coming back home tonight. I'm sure Edward will have you." With that she cut the call.

"I'm sorry this is coming between you two." She shook me off.

"He's here." She shouted. "Edward's here. He has been the full time. Edward called Jasper, telling him to call me to send us away." My head snapped toward the house. I knew he was here. He ignored me. He made me look like an idiot in the middle of the street.

"What am I going to do?" I asked completely unsure of where to go from here. He sure as hell didn't want to talk to me.

"We're going to find him." Now I was completely lost. He was in his house. "He's not in there," she motioned to the building across the street. "He followed us here. He's watching us. He's here. We just need to find him."

It didn't take any doubt or hesitation on this one. I pulled at the door handle and jumped out of the car as quick as I could with Alice following me.

I knew it was a race against time. He wanted us gone. He wasn't going to just sit there and wait for us to come to him. Even if I didn't get to speak to him, I just had to see his face. I needed him to see mine.

We paced the street, checking cars, searching him out. We had only been on our feet a few moments before Deputy Stevens was out of his patrol car, stopping me. "What are you doing, Bella?"

"Edward Cullen is here. He's not missing. He never has been. We need to find him before he gets away." I turned, desperate to continue my search. Stevens had different ideas though. I felt his grip on the top of my arm, him pulling me back to him.

"Let me go. I need to find him." I pleaded.

He shook his head. "I can't. I'm not letting you go up to all these cars when there is a high risk of danger. Have your friend take you back home."

"No." Alice's shrill shriek blared, starting both of us. "We need to find him." Stevens didn't look to pleased and he made no attempt to let go of my arm. "Fine." She spat. "Hold on to her if you want. I'm going to find him." Alice was quick on her feet, continuing the search for him when we heard a car screech out of the street. All of our heads snapping in the direction of the sound but all a little too late too get any real details.

"Was that Jaspers car?" I asked, sure that it had been.

Alice shook her head. "No. It was a BMW though. Was he wearing a baseball cap?"

In my fury, I pulled my arm out of Stevens grasp. "Great. Now he's gone and we didn't get a chance to talk to him. You better find him." I warned to the Deputy.

He shook his head. "We've had enough for one day. Either you get in the back of the patrol car or she takes you home."

I could feel the fury pass through my veins and I knew it was a better idea if I travelled with Alice. I don't think Stevens would like to hear what I had to say on the matter.

Alice and I both made our way to her car and once I climbed in I let myself lose control. "I can't believe that just happened. You need to push Jasper on this one, please. You're the only one that can do it." She nodded, knowing but the look on her face was one of self doubt. I knew I was pushing too hard, that this wasn't fair to either of them, but it was Edward who had put them in this position.

"How long had he been following me? And why? Why is he doing it?" I asked feeling genuinely confused.

"Maybe he still wants to be with you," Alice tired to reason.

I shook her off. "No. Why wouldn't he just come to me? Why is he keeping all this distance between us?"

"He's protecting you while keeping his distance. He's obviously worried about what your dad has to say on the matter," She told me, indicating onto the main road.

"That's crap, Alice. He's... he's hiding." He was hiding. But who was he hiding from? My dad had told me that it appeared the same gang were looking for him after he had saved me. Was it possible he was trying to protect me while protecting himself?

* * *

It wasn't until a couple of days later that I saw that car again. I stood by my window, peeking from behind my closed curtains in the dark. I was sure it was his car at least. The front part looked similar, but it was partially blocked from my view and sat far away. Honestly, it had taken me over thirty minutes trying to find it.

Jasper had been pulled in by police and requestioned. He had told them this time that Edward was okay, but that he refused to tell him where he was. The police had visited Edward house, but to no avail. As it was, Edward was no longer deemed as missing, nor was any action taken. He was a grown man that had done nothing wrong. I knew it annoyed my dad, but as he was still off work, there was little he could personally do to rectify the situation.

Esme was relived. Mad, but relieved. She had faith that Edward would show face when he wanted too. Jasper was currently staying in a hotel and my dad was mad over the full situation. It was one big giant mess. And it was all Edwards fault.

Looking at my watch, I noticed that it was almost time for Jacob to arrive. We were heading to the library so I could study some. Jake was my make-shift bodyguard, though the police patrol car would tail us.

I was trying my hardest to put Edward out of my mind, so I tired to study once again for a distraction.

Going with Jake was always fun. He helped me get my work done and could have fun without being too big a distraction.

The knock on the front door let me know he was here and as I grabbed my coat and backpack, I ran down the flight of stairs to the lounge.

Charlie had opened the door, letting Jake in. "You all ready to go, kiddo?" Charlie asked, a small smile gracing his face, thankful that I had been able to pull my mind out of all of this to continue on with what was needed.

"Yeah. We're making a quick stop on the way though." I told him. Both looked at me curiously. "Coffee." I confirmed with a smile. "If I don't I might not get through this. This cold weather is making me want to hibernate." I shivered at the thought of having to leave the house. It really had been too easy in Forks.

"Okay, there you go." Charlie handed me twenty dollars.

I shook him off. "No dad. I'm fine. I have some cash in the bank."

"Take it." he ordered gently. "It will save you a stop." He winked and I knew to give up.

"Thank you." I pecked his cheek on leaving, happy to feel normal, even if he was fussing a little.

"Keep her safe, Jake." Charlie ordered, Jake silently nodding, answering him.

We reached the coffee shop ten minutes later, Jake leaving me in the car while he fetched our order. A little further up the road I saw Edwards car sitting on the opposite side. If it wasn't for the fact I had saw it follow us, I would never have realized it was him. Of course, I was locked in the car, Jacob making sure that I was safe alone. I couldn't get out without the alarm going off, and that was an a attraction I really didn't need right now.

I couldn't see his face, but I knew it was him. It was the same car that had been parked out side my house and had followed us. It was also the same car that had raced out of Edwards street as we had looked for him.

Right now, there wasn't much I could do about it and Jake would never allow me to leave his side to confront him.

Jake quickly entered the car and I let my attention snap from my gaze in the side mirror to my friend and the coffee in his hand. I took the paper cups, letting him get into his seat easier and allowing him to buckle up and drive the rest of the road to the library.

As we took off, so did the patrol car that sat behind us and Edward's one that sat off in the distance. I was unsure the police had caught on about Edwards car because I was sure if that had, they would have told me to turn back home while I waited on Jake.

Parking up, we left the car and I quickly pulled up to the cruiser to speak to the newbie who was on duty tonight. "We're going to be at least an hour," I warned. "You have time if you want to go for a coffee of your own." I motioned to my own coffee cup. He nodded, but never said a word. I was a little worried that he had been given a thorough talking to about any attempts I may make to escape their watch.

With that, Jake and I both turned on our feet and headed into the building.

Thirty minutes later Jake sat down beside me once more, throwing a load of books in my direction. "You really need all of these?" He asked a little sceptically.

I nodded, telling him yes. Reality was though, I used his moment of distraction to check the window. The patrol car still had yet to return and I could see Edward car parked not too far from the entrance. It was my moment to confront him.

"Can you look up this quote for me right now?" I asked, referring to my hand written notes and the one of the books he had brought me. "It's chapter six, but I couldn't remember the page and I need the follow on from it for my paper." Jake rolled his eyes, but picked up the book anyway. "I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Jake laughed. "You and coffee. You should have went for a juice instead." I playfully smacked his shoulder as I got up out of my seat and left him sitting there.

I quickly made my way to the bathroom and passed it, continuing on to the main entrance. I carefully looked to see that the cop car still hadn't returned.

Taking my cell out of my pocket, I pretended I was on the phone in case I was to be caught. You weren't allowed to use phones in the library after all. I was only being a good citizen.

I eyed up the quiet road aware this was the best chance I was going to get. I could see Edwards car. It wasn't too far away from me so I pretended to talk as I walked out along the path of the building, growing closer to it and hoping that he wouldn't speed away like he did last time.

I looked around in the opposite direction, checking once again that the cruiser wasn't to bee seen. It wasn't.

With one last deep breath I quickened my pace to the car I could see Edward in. A shadow sitting in the dark.

I let my knuckles rattle off of the window, calling his name. "You better get out here right now." I ordered. The tears sprang from my face, preparing myself for the confrontation, my hormones and emotions getting the best of me.

Slowly, the door opened.

I stood there, trepidation sweating out of my pores on this cold night.

I could hear my breath in my ears. The hammering of my heart vibrate though my head.

He eventually got out of the car, my eyes eventually meeting with his.

Except, it wasn't Edwards eyes that I was met with.

Energy drained me and the fear spiked. I was stuck. My feet concreted to the ground.

I would remember that long blond hair and his face anywhere.

_James._

* * *

_**A/n: Ohhh! Who thought it was Edward?**_

_**Sorry for being away for so long. I was in hospital – again! So sorry for not getting back to your reviews! They plan on giving me a new heart so if I disappear for a few months, you'll know why! I'll try to keep up-dating as I wait tho. It could be days, weeks or even a year. **_


End file.
